But can it write good porn?

Will a computer ever write good porn?

  • Yes, it's easier than a novel.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Yes, but it will only get the geeks off.

    Votes: 7 41.2%
  • No, it's inconceivable that I, an author, be replaced

    Votes: 9 52.9%
  • Don't give a fuck who or what writes it.

    Votes: 1 5.9%

  • Total voters
    17
  • Poll closed .

Pure

Fiel a Verdad
Joined
Dec 20, 2001
Posts
15,135
AN ESSAY

Computers as Authors? Literary Luddites Unite!
By DANIEL AKST

Published: November 22, 2004
New York Times


For some people, writing a novel is a satisfying exercise in self-expression. For me, it's a hideous blend of psychoanalysis and cannibalism that is barely potent enough to overcome a series of towering avoidance mechanisms - including my own computer. Writers and computers nowadays are locked in such an enduringly dysfunctional embrace that it can be hard to tell us apart. We both rely heavily on memory, for instance. We are both calculating, complex and crash-prone. And like Hebrew National hot dogs, we both seem to answer to a higher power: writers, according to Plato, were divinely inspired; computers have Bill Gates.


Occasionally you hear of a Luddite novelist who shuns computers, but the truth is that most of us would be lost without them. If I rail and curse at mine, it is partly out of resentment at our miserable co-dependence. Imagine, then, the blow to my scribbler's vanity when I discovered a while back that computers might get along just fine without writers.

This is not science fiction. With little fanfare and (so far) no appearances at Barnes & Noble, computers have started writing without us scribes. They are perfectly capable of nonfiction prose, and while the reputation of Henry James is not yet threatened, computers can even generate brief outbursts of fiction that are probably superior to what many humans could turn out - even those not in master of fine arts programs. Consider the beginning of a short story dealing with the theme of betrayal:

"Dave Striver loved the university - its ivy-covered clocktowers, its ancient and sturdy brick, and its sun-splashed verdant greens and eager youth. The university, contrary to popular opinion, is far from free of the stark unforgiving trials of the business world: academia has its own tests, and some are as merciless as any in the marketplace. A prime example is the dissertation defense: to earn the Ph.D., to become a doctor, one must pass an oral examination on one's dissertation. This was a test Professor Edward Hart enjoyed giving."

That pregnant opening paragraph was written by a computer program known as Brutus.1 that was developed by Selmer Bringsjord, a computer scientist at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, and David A. Ferrucci, a researcher at I.B.M.
 
"Dave Striver loved the university - its ivy-covered clocktowers, its ancient and sturdy brick, and its sun-splashed verdant greens and eager youth. The university, contrary to popular opinion, is far from free of the stark unforgiving trials of the business world: academia has its own tests, and some are as merciless as any in the marketplace. A prime example is the dissertation defense: to earn the Ph.D., to become a doctor, one must pass an oral examination on one's dissertation. This was a test Professor Edward Hart enjoyed giving."


That really sucked. A computer might be able to write paragraphs and stories, but it shouldn't.
 
It's an absurd question, and except as a novelty, or as furthering an interest to knock out formulaic drivel, it's a question that's barely even worth considering, in my opinion.

The very idea is almost an insult to the human experience.
 
Fellatiac was then commanded to write porn.

"Dave Striver loved the cheerleaders - their sweater-cosseted breasts, their timeless
and sturdy allure, and their sun-drenched tans and eager youth. The cheerleaeders,
contrary to popular opinion, are far from free of the stark unforgiving trials of the
college sports world: the team bus has its own tests, and some are as merciless as any
in the stadium. A prime example is the peer defense: to remain on the varsity, to
have one's choice of the team, one must pass an oral examination and keep the other
girls sidelined. This was a test receiver Edward Hart enjoyed giving."


Why, that still sucks, Fellatiac.

Intercourse yourself. The name is Brutus.1.

Twat.

Asshole
 
Back when I was a computer programmer I used to piss of the AI freaks among my colleagues with this simple statement.

"We don't even know what real intelligence is. How are we going to fake it?"
 
cantdog said:
Fellatiac was then commanded to write porn.

Tee hee.

Anilingus v69 is a much more powerful system. RAM out the wazoo, a hard drive that won't quit, and redundant external backup.
 
cantdog said:
Fellatiac was then commanded to write porn.

"Dave Striver loved the cheerleaders - their sweater-cosseted breasts, their timeless
and sturdy allure, and their sun-drenched tans and eager youth. The cheerleaeders,
contrary to popular opinion, are far from free of the stark unforgiving trials of the
college sports world: the team bus has its own tests, and some are as merciless as any
in the stadium. A prime example is the peer defense: to remain on the varsity, to
have one's choice of the team, one must pass an oral examination and keep the other
girls sidelined. This was a test receiver Edward Hart enjoyed giving."


Why, that still sucks, Fellatiac.

Intercourse yourself. The name is Brutus.1.

Twat.

Asshole

Only you could do this cantdog. :rose:
 
rgraham666 said:
Back when I was a computer programmer I used to piss of the AI freaks among my colleagues with this simple statement.

"We don't even know what real intelligence is. How are we going to fake it?"

Ahh, such joy from the small things in life, eh RG ? :)
 
If we ever do decide what intelligence is, it'll probably be something the speaker has and his audience does not.
 
MLyons said:
... as furthering an interest to knock out formulaic drivel.


Sounds like a Barbara Cartland novel to me. ;)

Seriously, I couldn't agree more with all you said. :rose:

cantdog said:
Fellatiac was then commanded to write porn.

"Dave Striver loved the cheerleaders - their sweater-cosseted breasts, their timeless
and sturdy allure, and their sun-drenched tans and eager youth. The cheerleaeders,
contrary to popular opinion, are far from free of the stark unforgiving trials of the
college sports world: the team bus has its own tests, and some are as merciless as any
in the stadium. A prime example is the peer defense: to remain on the varsity, to
have one's choice of the team, one must pass an oral examination and keep the other
girls sidelined. This was a test receiver Edward Hart enjoyed giving."


Why, that still sucks, Fellatiac.

Intercourse yourself. The name is Brutus.1.

Twat.

Asshole

Brilliant! :D

Lou :kiss:
 
cantdog said:
If we ever do decide what intelligence is, it'll probably be something the speaker has and his audience does not.

<threadjack>

THAT AV IS PHENOMENAL, CANT! (I'm insanely jealous.)

</threadjack>
 
Well I'll just stick with my infinity of monkeys thank you so very much.
 
Like "art" I know intelligence when I see it; and I know it will never come from a machine.

My really dopey dumb-as-dirt bunny, who probably has a brain the size of one of his turds, fascinates me. My computer does not; it is merely a tool.

Perdita
 
Yo, Bill. You God or sommat?

* Piss off, Mortal *

_________


Thanks Lou, Carson. I was rushing like hell thinking everyone was going to do that.

Remember the infinite monkeys thread? That one was one of shereads's I think, wasn't it?

Turned into an omnibus discussion of just about everything. And monkeys.
 
Lime said:
Time to launch the Butlerian Jihad.
Thou shalt not make a machine in the image of a human mind!


"Dave Striver loved the university - its ivy-covered clocktowers, its ancient and sturdy brick, and its sun-splashed verdant greens and eager youth (He loved the eager youth? Which eager youth? Consider rephrasing to add some action to this; maybe '...verdant greens and the youthful eagerness of the students). The university, contrary to popular opinion, is (Stick to one tense, you've switched from 'Dave loved' to 'The university is') far from free of (Uncomfortable choice of words. Try saying Far from free of out loud and you'll stumble over it. The brain will pick up on any phrasing that's difficult to say and it'll destroy the flow. Avoid this) the stark unforgiving trials of the business world:(Semi-colon!) academia has its own tests (Really? Tests at university? Who knew? Fail to see how this is contrary to popular opinion.) , and some are as merciless as any in the marketplace. A prime example is the dissertation defense: (Semi-colon!) to earn the Ph.D., to become a doctor (Unnecessary clause which slows the sentence down. Lose it) , one must pass an oral examination on one's dissertation (Using 'one' in this sentence makes it sound stilted. Try 'the students' instead). This was a test Professor Edward Hart enjoyed giving (And suddenly we're back to past tense. Decide on a tense and stick to it)."

Poor effort. Although grammar and spelling are nearly impeccable (Research the use of semi-colons for next story please!), there are many basic errors. I would suggest reading through the Writers' Resources section before trying again

The Earl
 
public class Sex
{
public static void main (String args[])
{
ArrayList outcome = new Sex(40);
}

public ArrayList Sex(int maximum)
{
Woman jane = new Woman("Jane", "Blonde", 40, FF, true);
Man dick = new Man("Dick", "6ft 2", 13, coke_can);

handcuffs(jane);

ArrayList orgasms = new ArrayList;
orgasms.add(dildo(jane));
orgasms.add(blowjob(dick));

Penis tab_A = dick.Penis;
Vagina slot_B = jane.Vagina;

for(int i = 0; i < maximum; i++)
{
tab_A.insert(slot_B);
dick.squeeze_Breasts();
jane.moan();
tab_A.insert(slot_B);
if(i%10 == 0)
{
orgasms.add(multiple(jane));
System.out.println("Oh Goooooddddd");
}
}

System.out.println("I'm cuuuummmmmmminnnnnnnnggggg!");
orgasms.add(intercourse(dick));
orgasms.add(intercourse(jane));

return orgasms;
}


System.out.println("The Earl");
 
TheEarl said:
public class Sex
{
public static void main (String args[])
{
ArrayList outcome = new Sex(40);
}

public ArrayList Sex(int maximum)
{
Woman jane = new Woman("Jane", "Blonde", 40, FF, true);
Man dick = new Man("Dick", "6ft 2", 13, coke_can);

handcuffs(jane);

ArrayList orgasms = new ArrayList;
orgasms.add(dildo(jane));
orgasms.add(blowjob(dick));

Penis tab_A = dick.Penis;
Vagina slot_B = jane.Vagina;

for(int i = 0; i < maximum; i++)
{
tab_A.insert(slot_B);
dick.squeeze_Breasts();
jane.moan();
tab_A.insert(slot_B);
if(i%10 == 0)
{
orgasms.add(multiple(jane));
System.out.println("Oh Goooooddddd");
}
}

System.out.println("I'm cuuuummmmmmminnnnnnnnggggg!");
orgasms.add(intercourse(dick));
orgasms.add(intercourse(jane));

return orgasms;
}


System.out.println("The Earl");

Well, that got me off! What about y'all?
 
perdita said:
I've copied it into my PDA (for use during really boring meetings). P. :p

I wanna know what a PDA having an orgasm sounds like. ;)

(Ya might want to separate it from your cell phone in your purse.)
 
TheEarl said:
public class Sex
{
public static void main (String args[])
{
ArrayList outcome = new Sex(40);
}

public ArrayList Sex(int maximum)
{
Woman jane = new Woman("Jane", "Blonde", 40, FF, true);
Man dick = new Man("Dick", "6ft 2", 13, coke_can);

handcuffs(jane);

ArrayList orgasms = new ArrayList;
orgasms.add(dildo(jane));
orgasms.add(blowjob(dick));

Penis tab_A = dick.Penis;
Vagina slot_B = jane.Vagina;

for(int i = 0; i < maximum; i++)
{
tab_A.insert(slot_B);
dick.squeeze_Breasts();
jane.moan();
tab_A.insert(slot_B);
if(i%10 == 0)
{
orgasms.add(multiple(jane));
System.out.println("Oh Goooooddddd");
}
}

System.out.println("I'm cuuuummmmmmminnnnnnnnggggg!");
orgasms.add(intercourse(dick));
orgasms.add(intercourse(jane));

return orgasms;
}


System.out.println("The Earl");


ROFLMAO
i wonder if my programming prof would get a kick out of this...
erm...
LOVE IT!
thank you.
 
Back
Top