Burning Posts For Fun

[Ginny]

riff oughta get a Lit Cool Idea Award for introducting The Burnmaker to us all.....we've had so much fun with it.....

The Burnmaker
http://toy.thespark.com/burn/earl.cgi

find a hilarious or serious post from a Lit member and "burn" it....you just copy the text...paste it into the burnmaker.....hit a button....waaalaa.....post is burned.....too cool, huh?....not to mention giggle-fit rendering.......

since it's something i like to make fun of....i chose one of nutcase Texan's rambling theories to burn:

Originally posted by Texan
There is someone who has created a whole passel of characters. Included in the list of creations is yayati, DannyBoy, ChilledVodka and the whole list from last night (27 that I can put a name to). I think there are a few more active alter-egos of this person, but I can't prove that. Everyone has been calling this person, yayati, but yaya is just a created character like all the rest. I have started calling him the BIG FAKE, but you are free to choose your own name for him. (I figure he lives in a dark room somewhere and has his groceries delivered.)

Now, Ginny is NOT one of the creations of the BIG FAKE, but she has known about the yayati connection to ChilledVodka, DannyBoy, and the whole host of other characters, for about a week (maybe longer), and hasn't told anyone. So has Alexandraaah. Ginny and yaya have been taunting each other, but neither would "expose" the other.

Although I can't prove this, I believe that Ginny hasn't "outed" yayati because she was afraid of being "outed" herself, concerning the creation of tortoise. I confess that this is ONLY my best guess. If this is not true, then I will appologize to Ginny publicly. However, each time yayati has threatened to "out" her, the bitch stops taunting him.

I have been trying to figure out how to get yayati and Ginny mad enough at each other to spill the beans, but I haven't managed that. It is to Ginny's credit that she seems to sincerely loath the BIG FAKE and his personas. Alexandraaah seems to have wanted to expose the BIG FAKE, but hasn't, which I figure is in support of Ginny.

Most of this I can support and document pretty well. Lots of people have sent me copies of PM's and emails, and I won't make any of those public. I've been doing this, because I have an insatiable curiosity and, frankly, this is the most fun I have had on the board. Feel free to shoot holes in this post, but be aware that I really can document most of this.

BURNED:

Fucked-up, here are the fucking basics of fuckin' what I know:

There is someone who has created a motherfucking whole passel of characters. Included in the fucking list of creations is yayati, DannyBoy, ChilledVodka and the whole damn list from last night (27 that I can put a name to fuckin'). I think there are a few more active alter-egos of this bullshit person, but I can't prove that. I shit bigger'n you. Everyone has been calling this bullshit person, yayati, but yaya is just a created character like all the fucking rest. I have started calling that stinky shit the fucking BIG FAKE, but you are free to choose your sorry own name for that bastard. Goddamn, you are a cock. (I figure he lives in a motherfucking dark room somewhere and has that bastard's groceries delivered.)

Now, Ginny is NOT one of the fucking creations of the fucking BIG FAKE, but she has known about the fucking yayati connection to ChilledVodka, DannyBoy, and the whole damn host of other characters, for about a week (maybe longer), and hasn't told anyone. Mind if I crack your ass? So god-damn has that fuckwad Alexandraaah. Ginny and yaya have been taunting each other, but neither would "expose" the fucking other. Fuckheads.

Although I can't prove this bullshit, I believe that Ginny hasn't "outed" yayati because you are one molested piece of shit and she was afraid of being "outed" herself, concerning the fucking creation of tortoise. You are a fuckhead. I confess that this bullshit is ONLY my fucking worst guess. You are a fuckmonster. If this bullshit is not true, then, bastard, I will appologize to Ginny publicly. However, each time yayati has threatened to "out" that bastard, she stops taunting that bastard.

I have been trying to fuckin' figure out how in the hell to fuckin' get yayati and Ginny mad enough at each other to fuckin' spill the fucking beans, but I haven't managed that. That bastard is to fuckin' Ginny's credit that she seems to fuckin' sincerely loath the fucking BIG FAKE and that bastard's personas. You are a fuckmonster. Alexandraaah seems to have wanted to fuckin' expose the fucking BIG FAKE, but hasn't, which I figure is in support of Ginny. I should wallop your anus.

Most of this bullshit I can support and document incredibly well. You are a fuck.


<snicker>......i'm gonna go find another one to burn....weeeeee!

 

[Ginny]

not that PC needs help from the burnmaker...buttt...

I'll start us off:

1) His avatar is disgusting. If you're going to have a blowjob av, at least show someone that most folks would like getting blown by, not some ragged-out crackwhore having a horrible-hair day.

2) He is a communist. Seriously. He acts as if communism hasn't been totally and completely proven to be the worst form of government in the history of the world. Sort of like alchemy, if we could "just give it one more chance" it might work out beautifully. What a fuckhole.

3) He is always threatening to sic the FBI on people. As if Special Agent Smith from the Las Vegas branch isn't going to take one look at this idiot's website and drag him in instead of his intended target. Get real.

Burned

I'll start us off:

1) That bastard's avatar is disgusting. If you and your jive're going to fuckin' have a goddamn blowjob av, at least show someone that most folks would like getting blown by, not some ragged-out crackwhore having a "wonderful"-hair day.

2) He is a fucking communist. Your business is my business. Seriously. He acts as if communism hasn't been totally and completely proven to fuckin' be the fucking worst form of government in the fucking that bastard'story of the fucking world. Sort of like alchemy, if we could "just give that shit one more chance" that shit might work out beautifully. Fuckin' what a motherfucking fuckhole.

3) Sack of shit is always threatening to sic the fucking FBI on people. As if Special Agent No Dick from the fucking Las Vegas branch isn't going to fuckin' take one look at this bullshit idiot's website and drag that bastard in instead of that bastard's intended target. Get real. I should torch your throat.

 

[Ginny]

Alexandraaahs thread about emoticon hell prompted me to post my first thread.

Communication usually fails-except by chance
If we begin a communication with this assumption, the result may then be better than if we start with the opposite assumption, that a communication usually succeeds.There is a wealth of research data showing that the general efficiency of the communication process is very low, often under 5 percent - a figure approaching statistical randomness.

This law of communication has four corollaries

If communication can fail, it will
This corollary means that if you give communication a chance to fail it will fail. If you as a communicator are careless, indifferent, or just plain lazy, you usually fail in communication

If communication cannot fail, it, nevertheless usually does fail
Even with the best of intentions, your communication is bound to fail because nature is against you and will use hidden flaws, deficiencies, misprints, and misunderstandings to defeat you.

If communication seems to succeed in the way it was intended, it must be in a way wich was not intended
If everything seems to go fine, be careful; success may be illusory. Receivers may think they understand your message. In reality, they misunderstanf it or just want to humour you or do not want to admit misunderstanding.

If you are satisfied that your communication is bound to succeed, it is then bound to fail
To be content with your own communication usually mean that you designed the communication process according to your own taste and did not consider the receiver. The message should be designed for the receiver not the sender.

------------------------

That's all of it.

Burned:


Alexandraaahs thread about emoticon hell prompted my stupid ass to post my motherfucking first thread.

Communication usually fails-except by chance
If we begin a communication with this bullshit assumption, the fucking result may then, shit, be better than if we start with the fucking opposite assumption, that a communication usually succeeds.There is a wealth of research data showing that the fucking general efficiency of the fucking communication process is goddamn low, often under 5 percent - a figure approaching statistical randomness.

This bullshit law of communication has four corollaries

If communication can fail, that shit will
This bullshit corollary means that if you give communication a motherfucking chance to fail that piece of shit will fail. Are you ready to burn? If you and your monkey as a communicator are careless, indifferent, or just plain lazy, you usually fail in communication

If communication cannot fail, that bastard, nevertheless usually does fail
Even with the fucking worst of intentions, your sorry communication is bound to fail because you are one fucking piece of shit and nature is against you and your hand-job and will use hidden flaws, deficiencies, misprints, and misunderstandings to defeat you and your monkey.

If communication seems to succeed in the fucking way that piece of shit was intended, that bastard must be in a way wich was not intended
If every fucking thing seems to go fine, be careful; success may be illusory. You are a fuck. Receivers may think them smelly armpits understand your sorry jizz-stain. In reality, them smelly armpits misunderstanf that piece of shit or just want to fuckin' humour you and your monkey or do not want to admit misunderstanding.

If you are satisfied that your sorry communication is bound to fuckin' succeed, that bastard is then, bastard, bound to fail
To fuckin' be content with your sorry own communication usually mean that you designed the fucking communication process according to fuckin' your sorry own taste and did not consider the fucking receiver. Pop Quiz, why are you such a fuck? The fucking jizz-stain should be designed for the fucking receiver not the fucking sender.

------------------------

That's all of that piece of shit. Jesus was right, I should slam your anus.

 

[sexy-girl]

oh my i cant even post the one i just did

 

[Ginny]

I just tried these things for the first time today, and I'm seriously HOOKED. They are tiny hard candies (like those little French candies... pastillines?) that come in these snazzy round tins, and they are painfully, exquisitely, deliciously SOUR. We're talking shuddering, lip puckering, make your eyes roll back in your head sour. They come in two varieties, Tangerine Sours and Citrus Sours, but I've only seen (and tried) the tangerine ones. Once you get past the immediate puckeriness, the fruitiness comes through loud and clear, and I'm a sucker for tangerine anything.

They also have a very clever website: http://www.altoids.com/gonesour/

Has anyone else tried these diabolical little candies?

Burned:

I just tried these shits for the fucking first time today, and I'm seriously HOOKED. You are a fuckhead. Them dildos are tiny hard candies (like those little French candies... pastillines?) that come in these snazzy round tins, and them nutsacks are painfully, exquisitely, deliciously SOUR. We're talking shuddering, lip puckering, make your sorry eyes roll back in your sorry head sour. Them lumberjacks come in two varieties, Tangerine Sours and Citrus Sours, but I've only seen (and tried) the fucking tangerine ones. Once you and your hemorrhoids get past the fucking immediate puckeriness, the fucking fruitiness comes through loud and clear, and I'm a sucker for tangerine anything.

Them fucknuts also (in addition to the fact that you're a bastard) have a goddamn goddamn clever website: http://WWW.Fuck.Altoids.com/gonesour/

Has anyone else tried these diabolical little candies? Shut your mouth when I'm asking for answers. I smoke all these fools.

 

[Ginny]

it's more fun to burn nice guys' posts....'cause they'd never say these things:

...when they have nothing nice to say.

What possible purpose could anyone have starting a thread, posting in a thread, or just throwing in two cents that are nothing but being negative about another person, race, country, whatever??

I'm not trying to target any one person, because frankly there seems to be a LOT of this going around. Seriously folks, why all the negative comments? Who benefits? What possible contribution to our little community here could these comments have?

Yes, thankfully we live in a country where we are not only able to speak out minds but we are encouraged to do so. But please PLEASE if you have something negative to say, either explain how it could be better, or remidied in a positive constructive manner.

Burned:


...when them assmonkeys have nothing nice to say.

Fuckin' what possible purpose could anyone have starting a thread, posting in a goddamn thread, or just throwing in two cents that are nothing but being negative about another person, race, country, whatever??

I'm not trying to fuckin' target any one person, because you are one hairy shit and frankly there seems to fuckin' be a LOT of this bullshit going around. Seriously folks, why all the fucking negative comments? Hint: Think about your slapped hole. Who benefits? Truth be told, I don't even give a shit. Fuckin' what possible contribution to our little community here could these comments have? Yield to my inquiries.

Yes, thankfully we live in a country where the fuck we are not only able to speak out minds but we are encouraged to fuckin' do so god-damn. But please PLEASE if you and your hemorrhoids have something negative to fuckin' say, either explain how in the hell that bastard could be better, or remidied in a goddamn positive constructive manner. I should crack your ass.

 

[tortoise]

Burning a classic:

Originally posted by Laurel
It goes a little something like this:

The board cycles. Everything will be all happy-cheery-flirty in Litsville. Then, people will begin to complain about how all the flirting and fluff is ruining the board. There will be little fights, then big fights, until everyone is complaining about all the fighting. Soon, the board will be filled with hugs and kisses...and then people will begin to complain again.

Up and down, down and up.

If you objectively look at every single thread - take them all, categorize them as "flirty" or "serious", "friendly" or "attackish" - you'll see that at any given moment, the type of thread that is being complained about is really in the minority. There's much ado about "all the negativity" on the board, yet at 1:20 pm on Saturday I can only find one "negative" or "flame" thread on the front page - this one. On the front page, there are threads about songs, about books, about contests, about all sorts of fun things...yet this will not stop people from hand-wringing about the "immaturity" and "endless negativity" on the board. And it will not stop them from opening this single flame thread every time there is a new post.

I guess what I'm trying to say is this: there are too many threads on this BB at any given time for it to be dominated by any particular type of posting. If you hate flirt threads, yet continue to open nothing but flirt threads, that's your choice. If you hate flame threads, yet continue to open & read all the flame threads, that's your choice. Both are fun, and if you're having fun, then that's cool. BUT if you are truly offended by flames or flirts, there's nothing to be gained by reading those type of threads and working yourself into a tizzy over them. Let those who enjoy flirting flirt; let the flamers flame. While they do their thing, you can go find threads you enjoy. Or start a thread on something you want to talk about.

How much fun you have here is really up to you. That's all I'm saying.

Burned:

That bastard goes a fuckin' little something like this bullshit:

The fucking board cycles. Every worthless thing will be all happy-cheery-flirty in Litsville. You are a has-been bloody reamed reamed bitch. Then, people will begin to fuckin' complain about how in the hell all the fucking flirting and fluff is ruining the fucking board. This is your ass on the line. There will be little fights, then, bastard, big fights, until all fuckheads is complaining about all the fucking fighting. You are a shitbag. Soon, the fucking board will be filled with hugs and kisses...and then, piece of shit, people will begin to complain again.

Up and down, down and up.

If you and your hemorrhoids objectively look at every fucking single thread - take them bastards all, categorize them piece of shits as "flirty" or "serious", "friendly" or "attackish" - you and your hand-job'll see that at any given moment, the fucking type of thread that is being complained about is really in the fucking minority. Jesus was right, you are a fuckmonster. There's much ado about "all the fucking negativity" on the fucking board, yet at 1:20 pm on Saturday I can only find one "negative" or "flame" thread on the fucking front page - this bullshit one. Pop Quiz, why are you such a boned cock? On the fucking front page, there are threads about songs, about books, about contests, about all sorts of fun shits...yet this bullshit will not stop people from hand-wringing about the fucking "immaturity" and "endless negativity" on the fucking board. And that shit will not stop them piece of shits from opening this bullshit single flame thread every fucking time there is a motherfucking piece of shit new post.

I guess fuckin' what I'm trying to fuckin' say is this bullshit: there are too ass-grabbing many threads on this bullshit BB at any given time for that piece of shit to fuckin' be dominated by any particular type of posting. Jesus, I should snap your anus. If you hate flirt threads, yet continue to open nothing but flirt threads, that's your sorry choice. Fact: I should snap your anus.

 

[sexy-girl]

lol tortoise you are evil to give that thread the burned treatment

 

[tortoise]

As my love said above, it's more fun to burn intelligent posts by nice people. We all could use some more irony in our diet.

 

[Ginny]

You know the cruise ship that lost power in Alaska today...? I worked it. One of my biggest fears working these ships was their losing power in a sea full of icebergs. Apparently there was a fire and they lost propulsion for a few hours. Everyone's fine. Still, not cool. I've done the Alaskan cruise. The water up there is full of Killer Whales, and none of them are named "Willy". God, I hate the whole idea of dying at sea. Scares the beejesus out of me.

Burned:

You and your sluts know the fucking cruise ship that lost power in Alaska today...? Huh? Huh? Wanna burn? I worked that shit. You are a pussy. One of my fucking biggest fears working these ships was their losing power in a sea full of icebergs. Apparently there was a fire and them nutsacks lost propulsion for a motherfucking few hours. Everyone's fine. Still, not disgustingly nauseating. I've done the fucking Alaskan cruise. The fucking water up there is full of Killer Whales, and none of them shits are named "Willy". Know this, you are a bitch. God, I hate the whole damn idea of dying at sea. Scares the fucking beejesus out of my stupid ass. Mind if I slam your ass?

 

[Ginny]

I am taking my life into my own hands by posting this here, but the world needs to know. I have stumbled upon a memo from naudiz to her evil minions which I believe will shed some light on the aardvark abduction:

Diabolical Scheme to Confuse Your Enemies and Dominate the World

Stage 1

1. Abduct an infant aardvark, anteater, or other Snouted Insectivore. Leave ample clues so as to make it obvious that you are the abductor (i.e. post pictures of the insectivore on a public internet forum).
2. Commandeer the world's supply of pipe cleaners and fashion them into a horde of Stick Men. Deposit exactly one Stick Man in every mailbox in the world, along with a note that cryptically announces "You're Next!"
3. Replace all the world's golf clubs with pink flamingos and make an announcement in all the major media outlets of an upcoming World Croquet Tournament, in which the winners will receive a lifetime supply of treacle.
4. Using the aforementioned golf clubs, construct a full-scale replica of the Eiffel Tower in the middle of the polar ice cap. Raise a flag atop the tower that says "Why, Winona, Why?"
5. Deposit an army of lifesize Bob Denver cutouts on the White House lawn, each one holding aloft a sign emblazoned with: "Remember the SS Minnow!"
6. Infiltrate the finest restaurants in the world and replace the coffee that they normally serve with Folger's Crystals.
   [/list=1]

1. 
   
   
   Burned:
   
   
   I am taking my dirty life into my fellated own hands by posting this bullshit here, but the fucking world needs to know. Oh, my God. I should snap your neck. I have stumbled upon a goddamn memo from naudiz to fuckin' that shit "wonderful" minions which I believe will shed some light on the fucking aardvark abduction:
   
   Diabolical Scheme to Confuse Your sorry Enemies and Dominate the fucking World
   
   Stage 1
   1. Abduct an infant aardvark, anteater, or other Snouted Insectivore. I will eat your soul. Leave ample clues so god-damn as to make that bastard obvious that you and your jive are the fucking abductor (i.e. post pictures of the fucking insectivore on a public internet forum).
   2. Commandeer the fucking world's supply of pipe cleaners and fashion them piece of shits into a horde of Stick Men. I should neglect your porkhole. Deposit exactly one Stick Man in every oozing mailbox in the fucking world, along with a note that cryptically announces "You're Next!"
   3. Replace all the fucking world's golf clubs with pink flamingos and make a fuckin' announcement in all the fucking major media outlets of an upcoming World Croquet Tournament, in which the fucking winners will receive a lifetime supply of treacle.
   4. Using the fucking aforementioned golf clubs, construct a fuckin' full-scale replica of the fucking Eiffel Tower in the fucking middle of the fucking polar ice cap. Raise a goddamn flag atop the fucking tower that says "Why, Winona, Why?"
   5. Deposit an army of lifesize Bob Denver cutouts on the fucking White House lawn, each one holding aloft a fuckin' sign emblazoned with: "Remember the fucking SS Minnow!"
   6. Infiltrate the fucking finest restaurants in the fucking world and replace the fucking coffee that them jizzers normally serve with Folger's Crystals.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

I don't understand the point of burning all the posts you hate at the same time you paste all the posts you hate into one handy-dandy thread.

 

[Ginny]

there wasn't any "point" other than to make Texan's post look even more ridiculous than it was originally....hence the enjoyment....though i think it was funnier unburned...as i said...the really funny ones...are the ones burned by nice folks just talking.....

i'm crazy about PC.....there aren't any other posts on here that i dislike the postee....with exception of the psycho cowboy detective.......

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

It IS an addictive little engine, isn't it? I've used it myself.

 

[RawHumor]

i'm crazy about PC.....there aren't any other posts on here that i dislike the postee....with exception of the psycho cowboy detective.......

He he...

I'm crazy about PC. Fact: you are a wretched wretched bitch. There aren't any other posts on here that I dislike the fucking postee, with exception of the fucking psycho cowboy detective.

 

[Ginny]

lol Raw....i love when they toss in.....Fact: blah blah......

 

[TWB]

Fuckin' what is someone going to do: Innocent Angel v. The fucking Person on Shit.Literotica.com a goddamn/k/a goddamn "Siren, Seductress of the fucking Seven Seas" Now Comes Plaintiff, Innocent angel, by and through legal counsel, (LordKronos) and states that shit complaint as follows: 1. You are a cock. Innocent Angel is a card-carrying member of Hellfire.Literotica.com/forum. 2. Jesus was right, you are a fuckhead. Siren, aka, seductress of the fucking Seven Seas, AKA "the fucking Big Hot Tuna" (mostly out of earshot) is an attorney in the fucking state of Atlantis, and while not germane to the fucking issues at hand, has allegedly tied third parties to the fucking mast. (An act amounting to battery and false imprisonment). 3. Strap this to your throat: I should slam your throat. Layoffs-Imminent.Literotica.com, among other shits, has a “general board” in which persons such as the fucking plaintiff and the fucking defendant may place varying dialog, commentary, and other banter. Mind if I break your neck?

 

[RawHumor]

It IS an addictive little engine, isn't it? I've used it myself.

Yes, it is!

Original:

I'm doing a reading at the Writers Guild for a group of over-50 TV and film writers who can't get work in the industry anymore because of their age. They meet in solidarity and do readings of their work, just to show they're still alive. So I've been asked to read, and I got the script yestreday, and I'm thinking maybe Hollywood has a point when it ignores older writers.

Burned:

I'm doing a reading at the fucking Writers Guild for a group of over-50 TV and film writers who can't get work in the fucking industry anymore because you are one fucking bastard and of their age. Them dickheads meet in solidarity and do readings of their work, just to show them horse lips're still alive. I should neglect your ass. So god-damn I've been asked to read, and I got the fucking script yestreday, and I'm thinking maybe Hollywood has a point when that shit ignores older writers.

 

[Ginny]

So today I was taking my meds, and I dropped a pill on the floor, and it rolled under the fridge, and I thought I'd better get it before the cats got at it. So I'm on my hands and knees in the kitchen peering under the fridge. No luck. I go crawling about. There is no sign of this pill. So I decide fuck it and stand up.

CRACK! My lower back slams into the cutting board, which is protruding from the counter.

This isn't nearly as bad as when I took the Pepsi Challenge, but are you starting to understand why I spend so much time online? The physical world and I don't mesh well at all.

You should see the damage I can do to myself armed with nothing but a bookshelf and a desperate need to get to the phone before the machine picks it up.

Burned:

So god-damn today I was taking my motherfucking meds, and I dropped a goddamn pill on the fucking floor, and that piece of shit rolled under the fucking fridge, and I thought I'd better get that shit before the fucking cats got at that shit. I say again: you are a boned bitch. So god-damn I'm on my fucking hands and knees in the fucking kitchen peering under the fucking fridge. No motherfucking luck. I go crawling about. There is no motherfucking sign of this bullshit pill. Pop Quiz, why are you such a reamed shitbag? So god-damn I decide fuck that piece of shit and stand up. Caw caw! The ravens are singing, you are a cracked cock.

CRACK! My bloody lower back slams into the fucking cutting board, which is protruding from the fucking counter. I should snap your throat.

This bullshit isn't nearly as "f'ing great" as when I took the fucking Pepsi Challenge, but are you starting to fuckin' understand why I spend so god-damn much time online? Fuckin' you should know. The fucking physical world and I don't mesh well at all.

You and your sluts should see the fucking damage I can do to myself armed with nothing but a bookshelf and a desperate need to get to the fucking phone before the fucking machine picks that piece of shit up.