Bananaspoon
Experienced
- Joined
- Mar 26, 2011
- Posts
- 30
Hello everyone, this is my first ever forum thread. I've been coming to Literotica for years now to read the stories. My genre of choice is incest and romance. So I guess I'm quite tamed in the choice that I read, unlike a lot of you on hear, hahaha. A lot of the heavy just doesn't appeal to me sexually.
I've wanted to write a story for years now, after reading so many of the stories on here.
I've finally started making headway in a story I started a couple of days ago. But I'm stuck on a certain scene and can't seem to get past it.
I'd like some honest opinion on what you guys think and feedback on how I might be able to improve it.
Basically, the brother and sister are having an argument over the new boyfriend the older sister is dating. The brother doesn't like the guy and wants his sister to stop dating him. But after the argument the siblings stop talking to each other for more than a year. I'd like to know if this argument sounds believable and how can I make it better? Please help me. I know it's a bit long, and I'm sorry.
Thank you.
****
“He’s exactly the same as all the other guys you dated. I don’t know why you can’t see it.” Said Jason.
“Maybe on the outside, but I know that he’s different he treats me like I wanted to be treated, with love and respect. Please, just give him a chance.”
“I’m sorry, but no. I know you’re gonna date him no matter what I say since you’ve always been so stubborn. But I’ll give you this warning, you will get hurt again. You may not see it, but he is a manipulative son-of-a-bitch. He is also a womanizer.”
“How the hell would you know all that? You’ve only met him today.”
“I know the type quite well when I see them at first glance, it’s all thanks to you. Always bringing home the so-called “bad-boy” types, only for every one of them to turn out to be cheating arseholes. Why the hell do you do that to yourself? What could you possibly gain from dating the same types over and over? How stupid can you be?” He said out of frustration, not meaning to let that last bit slip out.
“FUCK YOU JASON! AT LEAST IM NOT A VIRGIN STILL AT 22! Yeah, that’s right, I know it. You’ve had one girlfriend in your whole life and she turned out to be a cock tease. You wanna know how I know? The bitch told everyone around town after you dumped her.” She blurted out without thinking.
Jason was now thoroughly pissed and embarrassed.
“Yeah well, if you kept your vagina closed and used your head; you might have landed a decent man by now.” He retorted. At that moment, he wished he could take it back.
“Oh, I’m sure you’d REALLY like it if a decent man were to snatch me up.” She said with as much sarcasm as she could muster.
“And what is THAT supposed to mean?”
Jane laughed derisively
“You know very well what I meant. You’ve always hated the thought of some guy snatching me up; always jealous of them. You never gave any one of them a chance; even the decent ones. The thought of one of them taking your taking your big Sister away was too much. Tell me, why is that, Jason?” She sneered
Jason couldn’t speak. He didn’t know what to say. It felt like something was caught in his throat.
“I’ll tell you why.” She continued.
“It’s because you’re a pervert. That’s right, I said it; you’re a pervert. You want me all to yourself. You think I don’t know what you do with my underwear? I kept wondering why my freshly used undies kept disappearing on me when I was sure I put it in the basket of dirty laundry. Only to find them back in the basket a week later all dried and crusty. They only disappeared when you came over. I didn’t want to say anything because it would embarrass you. I thought it was just a phase, but now I know you’re just a pervert who can’t let go of his big sister.
You’ve always been clinging to me ever since we were growing up; it was cute back then, but not anymore. Grow the fuck up and grow a pair Jason! I can’t baby you forever!” She said all that out of anger, almost screaming.
Jason stood there, shocked. He knew he was a pervert, always felt guilty about what he’d done. But hearing the one girl he loved all his life calling him a pervert hurt him like nothing he felt before.
It was a stab in the heart he was never prepared for. Did she know how he felt? Or did she just think he was a sicko? It didn’t matter anymore; if she wanted him to leave her alone, then he has no choice but to obey her wish.
Jason shook himself out of his reverie and then looked into her eyes.
“Very well, Jane. I’ll leave you alone from now on. But I’ll give you this one warning before I go; it’s not a matter of IF he’ll hurt you, it’s a matter of when. Have a nice life, Sis.” he said in a calm demeanour.
Jason got into his car and drove off.
All Jane could do was stand there and stare after him. She had won the argument, but it was a hollow victory. What did he mean by “have a nice life”? Did he not want to see her anymore?
I've wanted to write a story for years now, after reading so many of the stories on here.
I've finally started making headway in a story I started a couple of days ago. But I'm stuck on a certain scene and can't seem to get past it.
I'd like some honest opinion on what you guys think and feedback on how I might be able to improve it.
Basically, the brother and sister are having an argument over the new boyfriend the older sister is dating. The brother doesn't like the guy and wants his sister to stop dating him. But after the argument the siblings stop talking to each other for more than a year. I'd like to know if this argument sounds believable and how can I make it better? Please help me. I know it's a bit long, and I'm sorry.
Thank you.
****
“He’s exactly the same as all the other guys you dated. I don’t know why you can’t see it.” Said Jason.
“Maybe on the outside, but I know that he’s different he treats me like I wanted to be treated, with love and respect. Please, just give him a chance.”
“I’m sorry, but no. I know you’re gonna date him no matter what I say since you’ve always been so stubborn. But I’ll give you this warning, you will get hurt again. You may not see it, but he is a manipulative son-of-a-bitch. He is also a womanizer.”
“How the hell would you know all that? You’ve only met him today.”
“I know the type quite well when I see them at first glance, it’s all thanks to you. Always bringing home the so-called “bad-boy” types, only for every one of them to turn out to be cheating arseholes. Why the hell do you do that to yourself? What could you possibly gain from dating the same types over and over? How stupid can you be?” He said out of frustration, not meaning to let that last bit slip out.
“FUCK YOU JASON! AT LEAST IM NOT A VIRGIN STILL AT 22! Yeah, that’s right, I know it. You’ve had one girlfriend in your whole life and she turned out to be a cock tease. You wanna know how I know? The bitch told everyone around town after you dumped her.” She blurted out without thinking.
Jason was now thoroughly pissed and embarrassed.
“Yeah well, if you kept your vagina closed and used your head; you might have landed a decent man by now.” He retorted. At that moment, he wished he could take it back.
“Oh, I’m sure you’d REALLY like it if a decent man were to snatch me up.” She said with as much sarcasm as she could muster.
“And what is THAT supposed to mean?”
Jane laughed derisively
“You know very well what I meant. You’ve always hated the thought of some guy snatching me up; always jealous of them. You never gave any one of them a chance; even the decent ones. The thought of one of them taking your taking your big Sister away was too much. Tell me, why is that, Jason?” She sneered
Jason couldn’t speak. He didn’t know what to say. It felt like something was caught in his throat.
“I’ll tell you why.” She continued.
“It’s because you’re a pervert. That’s right, I said it; you’re a pervert. You want me all to yourself. You think I don’t know what you do with my underwear? I kept wondering why my freshly used undies kept disappearing on me when I was sure I put it in the basket of dirty laundry. Only to find them back in the basket a week later all dried and crusty. They only disappeared when you came over. I didn’t want to say anything because it would embarrass you. I thought it was just a phase, but now I know you’re just a pervert who can’t let go of his big sister.
You’ve always been clinging to me ever since we were growing up; it was cute back then, but not anymore. Grow the fuck up and grow a pair Jason! I can’t baby you forever!” She said all that out of anger, almost screaming.
Jason stood there, shocked. He knew he was a pervert, always felt guilty about what he’d done. But hearing the one girl he loved all his life calling him a pervert hurt him like nothing he felt before.
It was a stab in the heart he was never prepared for. Did she know how he felt? Or did she just think he was a sicko? It didn’t matter anymore; if she wanted him to leave her alone, then he has no choice but to obey her wish.
Jason shook himself out of his reverie and then looked into her eyes.
“Very well, Jane. I’ll leave you alone from now on. But I’ll give you this one warning before I go; it’s not a matter of IF he’ll hurt you, it’s a matter of when. Have a nice life, Sis.” he said in a calm demeanour.
Jason got into his car and drove off.
All Jane could do was stand there and stare after him. She had won the argument, but it was a hollow victory. What did he mean by “have a nice life”? Did he not want to see her anymore?
