Broken Hearts

[Feistyred16]

Don't know what happened to this post



Forgive me if this has been done before...


I'm wondering how others have dealt with a broken heart...
How/what made it easier for you?

 

[midwestyankee]

Good question.

 

[Missingmeds]

Lots of us have dealt with broken hearts here. The thing that most of us agree on is that the only thing for it is time. Doing things with friends and family to take your mind off of it helps but in the long run, the best thing is time.

Take the time to grieve, take the time to heal, and most importantly, take the time to take care of yourself.

 

[LadyStetson]

Lots of us have dealt with broken hearts here. The thing that most of us agree on is that the only thing for it is time. Doing things with friends and family to take your mind off of it helps but in the long run, the best thing is time.

Take the time to grieve, take the time to heal, and most importantly, take the time to take care of yourself.

This is absolutely the best advice. It's often difficult to understand or believe at any given time, but things happen for a reason. Every meeting, situation, etc that occurs has a purpose and a meaning. It's not always ours to understand, though. We have to hold strong to the fact that time will help heal. Best wishes...

 

[sheath]

I agree with the above posters...time. But hearing that doesn't help much, I know.

Take care of yourself. Treat yourself kindly even if you don't feel like it. Do whatever it is that sustains your innermost self, whether it be a good, long run...splurging on a new dress...sinking into a bubble bath that lasts for half a day. Allow yourself to cry when you feel like it, without giving a damn for decorum or what might be proper. It can hit at the oddest moments...just go with it. If you fight it, it just comes back and hits you harder. Reach out to friends. That's what they are there for, and it's time to call in the chips on all those good times. They will understand.

Most of all, when things get really rough...someone kept advising me, way back when my last relationship ended, that 'one day at a time' would do...and it didn't. It just didn't. Then I realized that 'one breath at a time' was all I could do, and I did it.

Then one breath turned into two, and five minutes became an hour, and an hour became a day...and eventually, every breath came easier. It became my mantra during the rough times: "One breath at a time is all that is absolutely required."

Good luck to you.

S.

 

[peachykeen]

I have always found Breyer's Mint Chocolate chip ice cream helps make just about anything easier to bear.

yes I know we're not meant to advocate comfort eating and all that crap but fuck off, ice cream gives so much, and asks so little in return.

 

[jupiter lilly]

Dealing with a broken heart..not fun.

I sought solace in the little things in life that made me happy. I tired to do at least one thing every day, even if it was just something small and insignificant, that make me smile.

I let myself cry and get angry...I wrote in a specific journal just for that time...I vented...I mourned...I plotted revenge...never acted on it though.

The hardest part about a broken heart is that is takes time for it to heal. I found that each progressing day was a bit easier than the last. 2 years down the road, I feel a lot better naturally, and although I still have anger towards my ex, I don't miss him and i have definately moved on, grown and changed as a person.

You can never forget completely...but you can move on. Time is the essence of it all, and that is what makes it the most difficult. There is no easy solution to mend a broken heart.

 

[cyberski]

I'm wondering how others have dealt with a broken heart...

12/27/99
I ain't figured that one out myself

 

[SXCRgirl]

Ahhhhh, the whole broken heart deal. This one is a toughie because dealing with a broken heart is just as unique as you are.

Take care of yourself. Let yourself go through the motions. It's going to be a little bit tough, especially in the beginning, but as time passes, it will get better. As far as how long it will take to get over it, that depends on you. Make sure you let yourself get over it and help yourself heal. There are no right or wrong ways to deal with it.

Cry if you need to, get a journal, pamper yourself ... surround yourself with friends and family. Go back to your normal routine or just ... totally re-create yourself! It is an opportunity for growth, even though you don't see it right now. Be open to that! You'll find that you're stronger than you realize.

Good luck!

 

[Machiavellian]

It's never an easy answer - depending on the person - but time and moving on will fix it - holding on and resisting won't help.

Love is never ever easy - anyone who says it is - is a lier.

 

[watergirl]

*hugs*

Hiya, Feisty - haven't popped onto your regular thread in a long while, but I just wanted to offer my sympathies - that's no fun, darlin. Good luck, there's lots of good advice here.

 

[warrior queen]

..and then there are those broken hearts that just stay broken.
*sigh*
it's an individual thing for each person, but like grieving, time makes all things bearable.

 

[Darkknight2010]

Time and balance, milady. That's what helps.

Time, in that if the person you lost was that important to you, getting over them will take time... if it were just a fling, you wouldn't have a broken heart, you would just be annoyed. So give youself time to let it flow out of you... it might seem like a loooooooong time, but your heart is the hardest thing to heal.

And balance. The fine balance of giving your self the opportunity to let all of the feelings out of you... but also slowly, slowly letting go. It's not easy, because a part of you is probably going 'Oh, get over that loser, lots of cooler people out there' and another part is going 'WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH I MISS THEMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM' ... and you can't stop crying.

Different things helps... chocolate, of course. chuckle. Personally, music helps in that it puts words to what you're feeling if you can't think of them... sometimes that might make it worse because you get a bit melancholoy, but that's part of the entire process of letting go...

Music helps me sometines. I've gone through Melissia Etheridge, Indigo Girls, Springsteen a number of times... 'Time After Time' by Cyndi Lauper is a special song... someone VERY special to me shares the song with me... it took me about 10 years to come to terms with losing her... hence therapy. chuckle. BUT... getting there...

It's easy for anyone to say 'I know how you feel...' blah, blah blah. Actually, THEY don't. It's not out of pitty they say that, but everyone feels the grief differently, so facing it in your own way is the main thing... FACE IT.... don't shy away from it... don't bury... just face it as best as you can... and remember that although people around you don't completely understand how you feel, THEY DO UNDERSTAND YOU HURT, and they will listen, hug, get you a few drinks, and most importantly remind you that you are NOT alone in how you feel...

Remember, it's ok to cry and sob and scream... losing someone isn't easy... but also remember, sometime... you'll want to stop... and that'll be ok too... when? Hard to say... I guess that moment first comes when you can remember what happenend, and it no longer hits you like a train.... you look at what was and hopefully you can smile about it... laugh about it... or maybe you stare at it and go 'hey, I survived'...

Good luck to you in finding the peace in your heart and soul.

 

[Darkknight2010]

Forgive me if this has been done before...


[/B][/QUOTE]

And don't apologize for asking... it's a question we ALL face... and as much as we THINK we can deal with it... well, it's never easy.

 

[I'm Wild Cherry]

I like to do something nice for myself. A manicure or a haircut is always great for picking up my spirits. Just be careful with the haircut - don't try anything too drastic.

 

[NawtylilGirl]

Put some focus into yourself - make you #1
It will get easier.

 

[John_Mira]

After more than a few tears spilled over the out of the blue break up with my first true love. I got really mad over the fact that the end of my relationship wasnt my fault(Serriously It wasn't) I basically screamed to the heavens for vengence...not a pact with the devil but I wanted karma to come back and bite her in the ass. After getting really mad I discovered punk rock. Though Im 4 years older and getting rready to enter the real post college world, I still tear it up in the mosh pits at punk concerts. A good release. My current girlfriend...who I plan on marrying is also into punk rock, kinky sex, dumb cartoons, and shares so many other tings with me. Ive since burried the hatchet with the origional ex, but it still hurts sometimes. Oh well, Im a happier well adjusted person for it

 

[SnoopDog]

Don't know what happened to this post



Forgive me if this has been done before...


I'm wondering how others have dealt with a broken heart...
How/what made it easier for you?

If only I knew....
that would make things much easier.

But I got one piece of advice. In order to mend your broken heart you first have to get it back from the person that broke it.

Snoopy

 

[Darkknight2010]

Very nice quote in your sig line. And very true.

 

[SnoopDog]

Snoopy

 

[Astrum]

Well I've been going through this (for the first time) recently. This really isn't so much of what to do, but what I did. Some of it wrong, some of it right.

Well at first I just wanted to be alone, and I succeeded in that for a while. About the only person I would talk to was a friend on the internet I've known for a long time.

After a while I... Well... I did something kind of stupid (I wrote a thread about it but I can't be asked to find it). So me and my ex became friends for a while and she answered a lot of my questions. Unfortunately this friendship wasn't meant to last.

After she decided it was best that we weren't friends I took a walk. I walked roughly 20 miles until I found a bridge that I could sit under without getting snowed on. I stayed there overnight and thought about everything.

At about that time I started talking to a very good friend of mine whom I've known since I was 5. He would have been the first person to turn to but he moved 1,400 miles away and has a fiance and child now so I decided not to discuss things with him. Anyway we started playing an hour or two of a video games every Tuesday night when he got off work early and that really helped to take my mind off of things. I also talked to him about it a little and he offered a lot of support.

However I did get heavily into alcohol (and still am to tell you the truth). Unfortunately this caused my grades to go to crap, not a good thing in college.

The most recent thing I've done probably isn't what many people would consider "healthy". I would like to point out that I've always been into scarification though and it has nothing to do with hurting myself. Anyway, I carved a few symbols on my arm that mean a lot to me. Whenever I'm feeling hurt, lonely, or sad I can look at them and it cheers me up.

So it has definetely been a trying experience for me. I guess I've learned how to deal with it more effectively. Talking to friends and doing things with them to get my mind off things helped. Taking walks to clear my head also helped quite a bit. I guess my best advice if someone were to go through this right now would be to keep your mind occupied with friends and family, if you have to think about things than think about it but don't dwell, and always look to the future.

Forgive me if anything didn't make sense, I'm pretty tired right now.

 

[Bandit58]

Don't know what happened to this post



Forgive me if this has been done before...


I'm wondering how others have dealt with a broken heart...
How/what made it easier for you?

Friends, both in r/l and online. I must have drunk gallons of coffee and red wine and cried buckets of tears on those friends' shoulders. I am forever grateful to those two wonderful women, and the friends I have here on Lit. In fact one of those friends soon became much more (see my title) and a year later I am living here in Sydney with the love of my life.

Sometimes things like this happen for a reason, it may not seem like it right now but one day you'll look back and it won't hurt. You'll treasure the memories of what you had, and how much this person meant to you, but you will have moved on. It may take weeks, months even, but it will happen.....BIG HUGS to you

 

[Feistyred16]

Whoops

 

[Feistyred16]

I agree with the above posters...time. But hearing that doesn't help much, I know.

Take care of yourself. Treat yourself kindly even if you don't feel like it. Do whatever it is that sustains your innermost self, whether it be a good, long run...splurging on a new dress...sinking into a bubble bath that lasts for half a day. Allow yourself to cry when you feel like it, without giving a damn for decorum or what might be proper. It can hit at the oddest moments...just go with it. If you fight it, it just comes back and hits you harder. Reach out to friends. That's what they are there for, and it's time to call in the chips on all those good times. They will understand.

Most of all, when things get really rough...someone kept advising me, way back when my last relationship ended, that 'one day at a time' would do...and it didn't. It just didn't. Then I realized that 'one breath at a time' was all I could do, and I did it.


Then one breath turned into two, and five minutes became an hour, and an hour became a day...and eventually, every breath came easier. It became my mantra during the rough times: "One breath at a time is all that is absolutely required."

Good luck to you.

S.

You have described exactly what I'm feeling...I feel almost bi-polar at times...I'm up one minute and down the next.
Thank you so much!...Thank God for Cold Stone Ice Creamery!

 

[Feistyred16]

Lots of us have dealt with broken hearts here. The thing that most of us agree on is that the only thing for it is time. Doing things with friends and family to take your mind off of it helps but in the long run, the best thing is time.

Take the time to grieve, take the time to heal, and most importantly, take the time to take care of yourself.

Thanks for the advice...It really helps hearing it from someone else