Brinkmanship

[scheherazade_79]

Did I ever mention the fact that my boss is a grade A psychopath? Worse than that, she's a bully. She screams at members of staff out in the corridors, brings them to tears on a regular basis and is very good at holding grudges and making people's lives hell.

I stood up to her once and got punished for a whole month afterwards. Now it seems that I'm going to have to stand up to her again. I told her two months ago that I wouldn't be coming back in September, and she shouted at me for having a 'crisis in confidence'. When the job was advertised and she gave me a deadline for my application, I told her that I wouldn't be applying. I'm only on a temporary contract, which terminates on 31st August, 2006.

But it seems she never thought I'd actually go ahead and quit. She's shitting herself. I teach a shortage subject, and am also qualified to teach two others. As far as she's concerned, I'm gold dust. It's just a shame she didn't think of that when she started treating my colleagues like shit and trying to crush me for speaking out.

I get on well with most people, but this woman is absolutely vile.

Today she spoke to my mum on the phone. Despite the fact that the job ad has gone out and everything, she demanded a formal letter of resignation on her desk by Monday.

So I've just written it.

I know it won't end here. She's got her knives out for me, and when I get back to work she's going to make my life hell. Extra lunchtime duties, demands for lesson plans, surprise classroom observations, and probably a screaming fit at me in her office - if I'm lucky.

The thing is, I don't care. In fact I'm looking forward to her having a go at me, because there are lots of things I'd like to tell her. I'm not going to stoop to her level and start shouting and being generally abusive, but I'm going to stand up for her once and for all. And if she fires me, great.

When the moment comes, it's one that's going to make me proud for the rest of my life.

 

[Antfarmer77]

I can relate to how you feel. I had a job with an assiant mgr. who was one of the biggest Aholes I've ever worked with ( and I've worked with ALOT) and he and I had it out in a screaming "Well Fuck You" fest, in front of customers no less. I've had several jobs before and since and that one moment shines out above the rest. You must be good at what you do or she wouldn't bother herself with whether you stay or go, so I have faith you'll find something better and what you've gone through already will make you a stronger person and probably a better employee for the next boss who'll appreciate you

 

[Guest]

When the moment comes, it's one that's going to make me proud for the rest of my life.

Good for you!

It's sad to see that sometimes, some of the worst bullies in schools are those who are meant to be setting the example to the kids.

It sounds to me like you are the type of teacher who sets a fine example: someone who stands up for what's right, but doesn't do it in a confrontational, aggressive way.

All the best with it!

 

[rgraham666]

Way to go, sche!

Don't let someone with a bad inferiority complex push you around.

 

[oggbashan]

Reference

Have you had your reference for your new position yet?

A bad reference can really spoil your life...

Og

 

[SensualCealy]

First off, who the hell is she that she can speak to your mom on the phone about you? I would say that is slightly illegal when it comes to confidentiality in the work place!!!

Second, I agree with Og, find someone that will have your back when it comes to references, get it in writing first!

Thirdly, who is her boss? Why have none of you gone to her boss before this so they can observe her?

You deserve better, and sometimes making an ass out of yourself infront of people is still just making an ass out of yourself. But if you have your collegues there willing to back you when everything comes out and will support you when it comes to upper management then go to it! In fact if you speak to her boss before any of this takes place, make it convienient that the boss' boss shows up the day you let loose! Make sure you have the letter of reference first!!!

Good luck!
C

 

[matriarch]

First off, who the hell is she that she can speak to your mom on the phone about you? I would say that is slightly illegal when it comes to confidentiality in the work place!!!

Second, I agree with Og, find someone that will have your back when it comes to references, get it in writing first!

Thirdly, who is her boss? Why have none of you gone to her boss before this so they can observe her?

You deserve better, and sometimes making an ass out of yourself infront of people is still just making an ass out of yourself. But if you have your collegues there willing to back you when everything comes out and will support you when it comes to upper management then go to it! In fact if you speak to her boss before any of this takes place, make it convienient that the boss' boss shows up the day you let loose! Make sure you have the letter of reference first!!!

Good luck!
C

Headteachers of schools in UK are appointed by the Governers of that school. Usually with input from the Local Education Department. But the decision rests with them. Complaints have to go to them as well, usually to the Chair of the Governors.

The Education Department can step in and suspend/fire the headteacher only in very exceptional circumstances.

 

[matriarch]

Did I ever mention the fact that my boss is a grade A psychopath? Worse than that, she's a bully. She screams at members of staff out in the corridors, brings them to tears on a regular basis and is very good at holding grudges and making people's lives hell.

I stood up to her once and got punished for a whole month afterwards. Now it seems that I'm going to have to stand up to her again. I told her two months ago that I wouldn't be coming back in September, and she shouted at me for having a 'crisis in confidence'. When the job was advertised and she gave me a deadline for my application, I told her that I wouldn't be applying. I'm only on a temporary contract, which terminates on 31st August, 2006.

But it seems she never thought I'd actually go ahead and quit. She's shitting herself. I teach a shortage subject, and am also qualified to teach two others. As far as she's concerned, I'm gold dust. It's just a shame she didn't think of that when she started treating my colleagues like shit and trying to crush me for speaking out.

I get on well with most people, but this woman is absolutely vile.

Today she spoke to my mum on the phone. Despite the fact that the job ad has gone out and everything, she demanded a formal letter of resignation on her desk by Monday.

So I've just written it.

I know it won't end here. She's got her knives out for me, and when I get back to work she's going to make my life hell. Extra lunchtime duties, demands for lesson plans, surprise classroom observations, and probably a screaming fit at me in her office - if I'm lucky.

The thing is, I don't care. In fact I'm looking forward to her having a go at me, because there are lots of things I'd like to tell her. I'm not going to stoop to her level and start shouting and being generally abusive, but I'm going to stand up for her once and for all. And if she fires me, great.

When the moment comes, it's one that's going to make me proud for the rest of my life.

Simple.
Don't go back.
School finishes for summer, when? Mid July? Another 3 weeks? Get your doctor to sign you off a bit longer and you'll never have to face her bullying or tirades.

 

[SensualCealy]

Ohhh good idea, no dealing with the head bitch and no telling anyone off, good on both accounts!
C

 

[Liar]

Ooh, this is so familiar. My boss (or former boss, he's retired - woohoo) is a grade A asshole with the stangest combination of hubris and crappy self esteem I've ever seen. His idea of management was to let people know how incompetent, lazy and good-for-nothing they are. Especially how incompetent we were. The company is a publisher of magazines, and this sociopath's day seend to consist of crashing editorial briefings and drop condesending remarks, or sneak up on reporters, illustrators and ADs at their desks and yell at them for doing this or that wrong. In detail. "That picture is too big, you worthless idiot! Are you on drugs!? Why the hell am I wasting a salary on you?"

He made a mistake though. He hired me, and three of my friends at the same time. We'd been working together in a smaller publisher company that he bought and assimilated into the organisation. And after about two months of his abuse...we stopped trying to argue against him. Instead, we started doing every single thing he told us to do. The result was an ugly-ass magazine that nobody wanted to read. When he, furious as fuck, demanded to know why it tanked, we told him. Plus provided quite clear proof that it was his demands (we made a list of his and our content and design features and a poll among the readers where they could grade stuff) that made the product lousy. After that we told him to fire the three of us, or shut the fuck up. After that he didn't say another word to us for three years. We redid the zine and it sold really well.

That didn't stop him from giving the rest of the staff a piece of his "management skills" though. One of his favourite things was reports. "I want you to write down what you do, so that I can see that you're not screwing around all day." We advised new employees to do exactly that when he demanded it. Write down EVERYTHING they do. "1. Changed a typo on line 14 of the article. 2. Called a journalist to set a deadline for a text. 3. Called another journalist to set a deadline for a text...." With with 50 mini-novellas worth of reports to read through every day, he at least couldn't compålain that we were not informing his control-freaking ass enough.

 

[R. Richard]

I know it won't end here. She's got her knives out for me, and when I get back to work she's going to make my life hell. Extra lunchtime duties, demands for lesson plans, surprise classroom observations, and probably a screaming fit at me in her office - if I'm lucky.

The thing is, I don't care. In fact I'm looking forward to her having a go at me, because there are lots of things I'd like to tell her. I'm not going to stoop to her level and start shouting and being generally abusive, but I'm going to stand up for her once and for all. And if she fires me, great.

When the moment comes, it's one that's going to make me proud for the rest of my life.

I would like to politely point out that you are making a classic mistake. Telling the woman what you think of her won't change anything, except to make her more angry. What will help the situation is to do EXACTLY what you are told. If she wants a revised lesson plan, do it! Don;t do it on your own time, do it on the time you get paid for. Document what you have been told to do, how much time it took you to do it and why your normal duties didn't get done because of the extra work. The result is that her boss(es) will take care of the "now see here" speech and that is a LOT more effective than any such speech you could give her.

JMHO.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

I agree with Mat, I would file formal charges. She's a menace and should not be around children..........or animals or humans.

 

[Katyusha]

Ugh...how familiar is this. Do we ALL have horrible managers in our pasts?

Several years ago I was working for a small security company as one of their gate officers in a ritzy development. I was on the night shift, and the patrol officer I worked with was a really, really nice guy, easy to get along with, fun to talk to...until he got promoted. Then he was my immediate supervisor, and OH MY GOD did he let that go to his head. He would come into my gatehouse and start telling me that I was doing my job wrong when he had no clue how to do my job. He stopped coming by the gatehouse as regularly, leaving me alone all night most of the time (the night shift patrol officers weren't supposed to leave the gate officers alone all night, simply because the gatehouse wasn't a secure place), and merely calling me on the radio to give me info or yell at me about some other such nonsense.

I was friends with someone on the day shift at another gate, but mine was the main gatehouse so everyone came over there to do their paperwork. He was in there doing his paperwork for the week after his shift and I was working on one of the computers to update some information. We were chatting back and forth and DOING OUR WORK and nothing else. We had gotten friendly enough that rumors were starting to circulate that something was going on, but we didn't realize those rumors were going to be a problem, because we weren't hanging around with each other after hours, and there was truly nothing going on with us so there wasn't any inappropriate behavior to consider. Anyway, my supervisor came storming in that night and yelled for him to get outside and for me to stay inside and wait. He went outside and they had it out...I don't know what all was said. Then my supervisor came back in and screamed at me that I was about to be fired. He yelled that I wasn't doing my job because I wasn't checking in with him every hour, that my behavior with my friend was inappropriate, and also that my behavior towards him when he was in the gatehouse was unacceptable and if I didn't resign, he was going to ask the company president that I be fired.

I had no idea what he was talking about. I didn't know I was SUPPOSED to check in with him every hour. I hadn't been going to visit my friend on his shift, and the only time we were together on mine was when he had work in my gatehouse to do. On top of that, I had no idea what "unacceptable behavior" was in regards to him because he never came by anymore. So I yelled back...asking him who the hell he thought he was to threaten to have me fired when he hadn't brought ANY of that to my attention previously. Telling him that if he had problems with my work to bring it up with the senior supervisor and with me, but that I would be bringing this incident up with the senior supervisor because I was being yelled at and threatened for no reason at all. That if if these were actual problems, a simple, "We need to talk about this," would have sufficed. We had a good shouting match and it ended with him storming out and slamming the door so hard the glass in it shuddered and probably almost broke. I saw hide nor hair from him for the rest of the night.

I didn't get fired, but I was put on notice. So was he. After that my working relationship with him was so strained that I ended up quitting a couple of months later anyway. When asked why, I told the company in no uncertain terms why. I also found out that others on the night shift had had similar problems after he got promoted, and almost all of us were on notice for something or other. Basically what he was doing was instituting policies and work standards for our shift, holding us to them without ever informing us as to what they were, and then fishing for other transgressions when those policies were violated. We never knew about any of these until we violated one, and then with the way he behaved you'd've thought we were repeatedly thumbing our noses at him.

<sigh> I really do think that at least a month's worth of leadership training ought to be an annual mandate for all workers everywhere who get promoted to a leadership position. Maybe some of this crap wouldn't happen.

 

[Katyusha]

I would like to politely point out that you are making a classic mistake. Telling the woman what you think of her won't change anything, except to make her more angry. What will help the situation is to do EXACTLY what you are told. If she wants a revised lesson plan, do it! Don;t do it on your own time, do it on the time you get paid for. Document what you have been told to do, how much time it took you to do it and why your normal duties didn't get done because of the extra work. The result is that her boss(es) will take care of the "now see here" speech and that is a LOT more effective than any such speech you could give her.

JMHO.

I do have to agree. When my husband's boss started pulling some of this stuff with him, instead of bucking the rules, he followed the guy's directives to the letter, documenting every last thing he did, and he advised the other supervisors to do the same. As a result, the quality of their work when to shit, and senior management came down on them hard. They merely showed them their documentations, and said, "This is what our boss wants us to do and how he wants us to do it." Boss got demoted and all those stupid policies were thrown out. They're back to doing their work the way it's supposed to be done in the first place, and quality there is high again.

Sometimes it's up to the subordinates to show the brass just how poor a leader their immediate supervisor is, and it's not done by complaining or by having it out. It's done by doing everything they want, when they want it, exactly how they want it, because it's the only way to demonstrate why the boss is such a lousy leader. Sometimes, by doing things this way, you can get your boss fired or at least transferred without so much as uttering a word of complaint to their boss.

 

[scheherazade_79]

Thank you for all the support and kind words You guys are worth your weight in gold.

For the record, I mailed my resignation letter, and right now it's probably sitting at the sorting office, waiting for someone to pick it up and take it to the Wicked Witch of the West's doorstep.

All in all, I feel quite good about it. There's no turning back now

I'M FREEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

Antfarmer: You have my sympathy. Everyone has a right to be treated with dignity at the workplace, and it annoys me to hear that you weren't.

Lou: Thanks You're right about her being the biggest bully. She has a problem with women in general, which is kind of ironic, seeing as she's a closet lesbian.

Rob: I'm booking you on a flight over so that I can have you as my cheerleader!

Og: This sounds awful, but I couldn't give a flying shit about references right now. Something will come up - it always does. Failing that, I can just start working as a high class lesbian escort and get paid for having a good time every night

Cealy: My boss has had the unions on her back more times than most people have hot dinners. She pushes things to the boundaries, but never quite crosses the line in a way that can be dealt with. She's smart and she's a very skilful liar. Since she started six have had breakdowns, dozens have left and one put a shotgun to her head. The majority of people would support me, but onyl a handful would be brave enough to voice that support. One by one, they've all been ground down through demotions, public bollockings, pay cuts and disciplinary actions. It sounds surreal, because it is. The lunatics have picked up on it and have taken over the asylum. There are assaults on members of staff, every other word you hear in the corridor is 'fuck' and most people receive verbal abuse on a daily basis.
It's held together by a smokescreen of lies and contacts in influential places.
I don't want her reference. I'd sooner work in the supermarket for a while and get a reference from there.

Mat: I'm contemplating it. If I do go back, the chances of my getting fired are quite high. It was one of the things that was mentioned on the phone to my mother - that unless I played along with the rules and had that letter of resignation on her desk by Monday, she'd have no option but to dismiss me.
At the end of the day there are plenty of things she could get me on. I have no mark book, nor register. I chose to spend the time teaching, instead of compiling data. I've made up all my attendance records and weekly assessment scores, because I thought they were a boring pile of crap.

Liar: You have my respect. I think I'm pretty much on my own with this one.

R.Richard I've already been there and done that, and it doesn't work. If I refused to teach on account of my workload, I'd have a disciplinary action slapped on me in about 5 minutes. Teaching is the priority. Everything else has to be fitted around it, and if you have a full timetable like I do, that means doing it at home and on weekends.


So there we are. Catch 22. I think from now on I'm just going to do whatever I feel like doing.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

YAY!!!!

 

[oggbashan]

Well done, Scheherezade.

Now stay off work sick until the end of your contract. I'm sure your GP would give you a certificate for work-related stress.

Forget her and start to live a real life.

Og

 

[scheherazade_79]

I agree with Mat, I would file formal charges. She's a menace and should not be around children..........or animals or humans.

She wants knee-capping, not formal charges

 

[Guest]

She wants knee-capping, not formal charges

Hm, you don't have any trailor parks around there, do you? (Sorry, obscure, American South reference there.)

I really believe such people do have all their sins visited upon them in the passage of time. The trick is to 1) be the person who tosses the pebble that starts the landslide 2) have the good box seat to watch the whole thing fall down without getting dusty.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

My gf's boss is positively insane or just an imbecile at times, so she can relate, I think. The woman is a socialite, and has all of the lack of realism that one can expect from a socialite. If there are any sensible socialites out there, I apologize for lumping you in with her. She just pisses my gf and myself off at times.

 

[matriarch]

..........
At the end of the day there are plenty of things she could get me on. I have no mark book, nor register. I chose to spend the time teaching, instead of compiling data. I've made up all my attendance records and weekly assessment scores, because I thought they were a boring pile of crap.

.............

You did WHATTT????????

Are you crazy???

A pain in the arse those attendance records might be, but that simple data can impact on the pupil's life more than you know.

I worked for the Exclusions Officer in my last job, who, as one part of his job, had responsibility for the Education Welfare Officers. One of their main jobs was tackling truancy and attendance. It is a LEGAL REQUIREMENT of the parents/guardians, that pupils up to and including the age of 16 attend school full time. It is also a LEGAL REQUIREMENT that the school inform the Education Welfare Officer when a child's attendance is questionable.

A huge part of my work was involved in this part of the process. Once a child's attendance drops below a government acceptable ceiling of, I think, it was 95%, the information is passed to the education welfare officer, and they contact the family. From then on, that child's attendance comes under scrutiny - and sometimes, with very good reason. Panels are held on a monthly basis, where the parent/guardian and the pupil and the EWO are invited to attend to discuss/explain the poor attendance. There have been several cases, where, because of this scrutiny, cases of abuse and neglect have come to light. To the benefit of the child.

If they find out that you falsified those records, you'd be more than 'in trouble'..........it doesn't bear thinking about.

I'm not getting at you, you know me better than that....I'm just....gobsmacked. And not a little in awe of the fact that you can get away with such falsification without any comeback. Wow.

 

[Boota]

I had a boss yell at me once. I grabbed him by the throat and held him against the wall and said, "I don't take shit off of cops. What makes you think I'm going to let some gnarled old prick scream in my face?" I simply don't have it in me to tolerate that kind of thing. If I'm working for someone and they disrespect me like that, there will be consequences. And I'm not concerned with the legality of those consequences. I won't get caught.

One thing I always do when I start a new job is try to get dirt on the boss to take to his/her boss, should it become necessary. I might lose a job, but I won't be the only one.

 

[SeaCat]

LOLOLOL

Sher it sounds like your boss is a real winner. Too bad you couldn't take her out back and do a little swamp stomping.

Boota you have the same idea I do. Get the dirt on them quick so you can take them down with you.

I worked for an Ambulance Company for a short while in New England. It took me about a week to get the dirt on not only my immediate supervisor, (a screamer) as well as his boss and the owner of the company.

My boss was using the Ambulance to transport hookers to and from their assignations. His boss, who happened to be the owner of the company was running transports without a valid certification, and was running them with his G/F on board who had absolutely no training.

They used to love coming on the radio when we were in the middle of a transport or better yet in the middle of a rescue and chew us out for made up infractions. I finally had enough and had it out with my Supervisor. Needless to say I was quickly fired.

Oh the State AG loved the little package that arrived on his desk the next day, complete with Videos and vehicle logs.

Three people ended up serving time, and I was hired two days later by the people who do all of the rescue in the City I wanted to work in.

Oh and the reason given for my firing? Theft of supplies. They accused me of stealing several Nasal Canulas, something we didn't even carry on the rigs.

Cat

 

[Boota]

Great story, Cat! That's the kind of revenge I like. My version of revenge is that if you stick me with a needle I'll run you through with a spear.

 

[scheherazade_79]

You did WHATTT????????

Are you crazy???

Maybe a little bit, but it helps in that environment The kids who skive lessons tend to be the ones who tell me to go and fuck myself when they're present. At the end of the day, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. And if leading that horse to the water results in a situation where the majority of kids' education is being jeopardised, I'm not going to try that hard.

If they've been there for most lessons and they're pleasant, they get 97%. No one ever quibbles with that.

Besides, I don't know how to work out percentages.

If it is such an important, life-shaping thing, how come no one's ever picked me up on it yet? It's not the only thing I've made up either.

If they find out that you falsified those records, you'd be more than 'in trouble'..........it doesn't bear thinking about.

God forbid, I might be fired

I'm not getting at you, you know me better than that....I'm just....gobsmacked. And not a little in awe of the fact that you can get away with such falsification without any comeback. Wow.

Smile and the whole world smiles with you I've also acquired the list of all department's photocopying numbers, and have a key that fits every room in the building. Maybe this should go on the secrets thread, but when I get fed up with a situation I do such outrageous things that no one believes I'm actually doing them, even when it's right underneath their nose.

It was me who stole the chocolate gateau from the refreshments trolley that was due to be wheeled into the governers' meeting. I rounded up all my friends and we had a surprise party

I know... I can be evil