Breath play

[BlondGirl]

This weekend, a very dear (and unnamed friend--hahaha) invited me to an SM event and then onto the fave club afterward.

There, we got a bit naughty. Not my friend and I, but several in the group. There was the expected activities--groping, kissing, touching, spanking, floggers flying, flashes of delicious skin, etc.

During this, one person, to whom I feel a great deal of attraction (Prolly because of his obvious experience level more than anything), came over to me and was teasing my neck with his fingers. One hand was in my hair pulling my head back, the other was on my throat. He began pressing on the main artery that feeds the head and brain as well as applying slight pressure to my trachea. I have no idea how long this occurred and I began to lose balance. He held me until I was okay and kissed my cheek and went on to the next activity.

This was not unpleasant and resulted in a drunkenness that I have not experienced before. This interraction was very erotic.

At the end of the evening, when everyone was leaving, this same gentleman came up behind me and put me in a choke hold. I felt no fear but instead relaxed into him. This went on to the panic-y stage for me and he immediately released me when my indiciation was obvious. I had one person in front of me watching and holding me as well as beng held from behind.

Now, I am a sane person. I have an education. I am not likely a complete idiot. I know this falls into the category of edge play. I know that, logically, this is something that I should avoid with as much fervor as possible.

But the first play was rather delicious and I would certainly enjoy exploring that aspect again.
The second left me confused and very uncomfortable, but not afraid. This bothers me.

My rational mind has been screaming at my sexual persona: "What the FUCK is wrong with you?!?!??!?!?!?!"

I have no intention of participating in any play that involves my trachea, but of course, I also did not intend to get as crazy as I did this weekend.


Now, for the reasons I posted this.
1.) I AM confused. This is dangerous play and I know that all too well.
2.) I would like some input from those who have experiemented with such a play-style. Please do not comment AT ALL if you have not. I do not want a thread full of "Oh cool!" or "Man, that's scary" or any other useless web-waster-comments. This is something I am very seriously pondering on and has consumed most of my thoughts since its occurance.
3.) I would like some descriptions of experiences, both positive and less than.
4.) On and ending note, last year at the Houston SM Ball, Nina Hartley was the hostess. She made one crack to the extent of:
"Most women, they want flowers and dinner for foreplay, but me? Just give me a slap and a choke--I'm ready!"
I know this is not that uncommon, it is discussed too much in passing. But I have yet to see any indepth discussion of it.
Thank you in advance to those who give serious responses to this.

 

[WynEternal]

Now, for the reasons I posted this.
1.) I AM confused. This is dangerous play and I know that all too well.

Glad you know that it can be dangerous. It took me a while to get the nerve to try it.

2.) I would like some input from those who have experiemented with such a play-style. Please do not comment AT ALL if you have not. I do not want a thread full of "Oh cool!" or "Man, that's scary" or any other useless web-waster-comments. This is something I am very seriously pondering on and has consumed most of my thoughts since its occurance.

I bruise easily. One thing I did not do was have hands wrapped around my throat. There was too much of a risk of uneven pressure on my windpipe. I found that a wide belt, with the metal piece taken out, was easy to use and easy to release. It also distributes pressure evenly and I've never had a problem getting a breathe if I needed one.

3.) I would like some descriptions of experiences, both positive and less than.

I haven't had any bad experiences yet, but I've also done it only a handful of times.

I'm not sure how to describe what it felt like. My ears felt as if it was being covered and sound was slowly fading away. My body was able to feel more. All I can say is that it was intense.

I'll try to think of something else if I can.
[/B]

 

[Richard49]

This was one of Rachel's fav activites
It was something we could do any where

Now I am very careful
I know antomy
(even if i can not spell it)
I was never under any chemical influence
(yes alchol is chemical)

I was always under self control
that also means I limited my sexual excitment for those times

There is a thread on here from like a year ago
where we had some heated discussion on this subject
I think Serria moon started it

 

[Killswitch]

Hmmmmmmm....well like I said I dont have much experience in these matters.....some, but I am a complete novice.

What I do know about breath play, or smothering if you will, is that what happens is when your air supply is cut off, all your blood wants to rush to your head causing the euphoria you feel more than likely in your nerve endings, and genitals ( Has anyone even been so lame to say Genitals on lit?...lol)

Im not sure if you were asking a question about the subject or not, but since the only thing I fear on this planet is exficiation(sp), or suffocation.....it's not something I would ever do....or recommend.

 

[BlondGirl]

I'm sorry. I did a search and had no luck. Perhaps it was one of those threads where the title had nothing to do with the topic. When I searched "breath play" I found mostly bullshit referrences. If I could have found a thread on this topic, I would not have started this one.

 

[James G 5]

This's a really dangerous area of play
I will occasionally partially cover someone's nose or mouth to restrict breath but never cut it off
I personally know 3 people that've died this way while playing (not doing auto-erotic, doing it with others).........one from straight-up asphyxiation, one from an oxygen loss induced heart attack, and one from an aneurysm
I also know someone who was left a vegetable this way
I studied a form of martial arts that worked extensively with sleeper & choke holds and were were CONSTANTLY drilled about how dangerous they were, how easy it was to damage the trachea & larnyx, and how even a brief loss of blood that might make one person light headed or unconscious could kill another (look at the suspects who were often choke-holded to death by the LAPD, leading to their claim that "black people suffocate more easily" )
To me, it's an area that is too dangerous to go in to, especially in a situation like you describe with strangers
There ARE techniques to render someone hypoxiated without actually stopping their breathing or cutting off blood flow to the brain to cause a blackout or the light headed/euphoric feeling
These include forced hyperventilation, breathing thru their mouths in a CPR like fashion, getting them to take deep breaths then squeezing their chests as they exhale, etc
None of these are 100% safe, but then neither is me holding a knife to someone's throat while I tickle her
Point is they're safER than th emethods you mention
I urge you strongly to listen to the rational part of your mind that's screaming that this is a bad idea!
Find safer ways to play

 

[cellis]

James you bring up some really good points.

When Himself and I were conversing with a sub we knew on line, she discussed her need for aphyxiation in order to be able to orgasm. At that time, I did a great deal of research on the dangers of choking. I cannot seem to locate the links right at this moment but will look later.

People need to be aware of how little pressure is need to break the tiny bones in the throat and cause air flow restriction. Now I do not know of anyone who died because of this, but having had this done to me one time... and not in play... it is not something I want to experience again.

My point that I am trying to make, is that this is a dangerous form of play and one that should not be, in my opinion, taken lightly or with a casual partner.

Himself and I do practise a form of breath control, but it is much safer and much more erotic... as far as I am concerned...

 

[WynEternal]

Both James and Cellis brought up very good points.

I did my play with someone I know well, and trust. He was constantly talking to me, making sure I was ok, I could get a breath and if I didn't immediately respond whether verbally or physically, he would stop and make sure I was breathing.

There's too many things that can go wrong with this type of play.

I would also like to add my caution to their's.

 

[bunny bondage]

this is one of my favorite things to do with someone. i have not done it with the man i'm currently seeing (the vague "Him" i keep refering to) but i did a great deal of strangle-play with the guy i was last with. we had been together almost five years, and i trusted him completly. he could tell when to let go, and knew me so absolutly that he could read any little signs i gave off. we were just so close, so much a part of each other, that i knew i was safe. in fact, even now that we've both moved on to new relationships, we're still best friends and hang out regularaly. he is also a martial arts expert, and knows all about the difference between blood chokes and air chokes and can execute them exactly. so i had unquestioning faith in him, and i was never let down (obviously, since i'm still alive!)

as for the experience itself - it is EXHILERATING. first, there's the sensation of tightness around my throat, and that panic that makes me want to fight him off. but that's easily overcome and after a while i could just immediatly relax against the choke. it's kind of hard to describe what happens next, but it's sort of like a headrush from when you stand up to fast. i lose vision, and sensation in my body. right before i black out completly, i am aware of my hands feebly flinging themselves at his arms - that last instinctual effort of survival. and then i'm asleep. he always continued pumping into me while this happened, and it was never long at all (like a few seconds) before i woke back up. this is also a nearly indescribable pleasure. as i slowly became aware of my body again, the only thing i could feel was this intensly overwhelming eroticism of sex. i guess it would be like actually waking up in the morning to discover that you're being made love to fierociously.

only once did we have an experience that was less than pleasant. it was the first time he had ever held a choke long enough to make me pass out. he noted that i lost consciousness, and then when i didn't immediatly wake back up, he completly freaked out. i came to about a second or so later with him screaming my name and preparing for C.P.R. i was shocked by his panic, and he laughed with relief when i looked up and said "what the hell are you doing?" so the lesson learned from this is that it takes a second to regain your senses.

 

[drakesweyr]

breath play (I think)

This is a subject of much discussion in the small circle I associate with. My wife and I have practiced a different application of this kind of play, and while admittedly dangerous, it is very stimulating to both body and mind. Let it be known that I am not a medical professional, and while my wife has extensive training and experience in medical practices she is not a doctor. The proceedure I am about to descibe is a trick of bloodflow I discovered in middle school and have played with infrequently ever since. This has NOT been proven safe, and should not be attempted unless You are comfortable with it (i.e., don't try this at home.)

First, this requires two people, and cannot be accomplished in any semblance of safety without a partner. The subject (the person who will be subjected to the proceedure) must stand with feet shoulder width apart, place the left hand on the right shoulder, the right hand on the left shoulder, and bend at the waist until the head and neck hang loosely near the ankles. Your partner should stand comfortably behind you (and should be capable of holding your entire body weight for at least a short time). While bent over, take ten deep slow breaths at a steady measured pace. After exhaling the tenth breath, breath in deeply and quickly for an eleventh breath and hold onto that breath with your last conscious thought while you bend at the waist again to stand straight up. As you stand straight, your partner wraps his/her arms tightly around you chest and applies firm even pressure (pressing in about a half inch) on the sternum. Your partner must hold tightly, and you must not breathe out! If all goes as planned (as it has for me many times in the past) you will lose consciousness while still on your feet (with your partner still holding you) for about 60 seconds and go into a dream state, but wake with perfect clarity in short order. When you lose consciousness you will exhale automatically (and humorously). This will be the cue to your partner to release the pressure on your chest IMMEDIATELY, and lie you down in a comfortable place to wake. You will be disoriented for about 30 seconds after waking so be prepared, or at least prepare your partner for this. This disorientation can be used as an abrupt beginning to scenes such as fantasy rape, kidnapping, etc. (I have found it useful as such, and also as a spectacular end to any sexual escapade if the partners are positioned right).
Again, I emphasize that I am not a medical professional, and this has NOT been proven safe. I strongly recommend that one does not participate in this type of activity if the subject has any history or suspicion of heart or lungs problems of any kind. I have personally experienced both roles in this most unusal of pairings, and find it to be very erotic. The feeling for the subject is very close to that of asphyxiation, but there is no restriction of air passages.
I hope this has enlighted someone.

 

[James G 5]

Re: breath play (I think)

This is a subject of much discussion in the small circle I associate with. <snip>
I hope this has enlighted someone.

This was one of the methods I mentioned as safER if still not entirely safe
I wanted to expand on one or two things that were said after my last post..........Cellis was correct about the TINY amount of pressure needed to break the small bones. A lot of the human body is more fragile than people realize. It can also be easy to do nerve damage to someone while applying any sort of choke hold.
Bunny, don't take this as a slap at your ex, but as someone who's studied YEARS of martial arts I would say most practitioners, no matter what their level of expertise, would hesitate to do such things becuase they know the likelihood of damage. The more I studied of the arts, the more I shied away from things that I realized could have serious consequences, even if carefully done. (wrecking my knees fighting in "safe" tournaments might've contributed to this!)
Another thing to consider is that the "thrill" or "high" of breath play comes from ribbing the brain of oxygen....this is also the thrill behind "huffing", the practice of putting things like airplane glue or gas in to bags & sniffing it for a euphoric high. Any time you do this, you do minor damage to your brain & it's cumulative.
Also, you have to be VERY sure of the health of your partner. One of the deaths I mentioned was via a heart attack. A VERY experienced dominant was using a gas mask to regulate his sub's breath flow, and the temporary oxygen loss triggered an undiagnosed heart condition........he had a massive hart attack & died almost immediately. I question if the high is worth the chance of a heart attack, stroke, anneuryism, etc etc.

Life's full of choices & "acceptable risks". I like to skydive, which is a chancy pasttime. But statistically it's safer than any game that takes away the thing that our brains & hearts need most to function.

IMHO of course

 

[rosco rathbone]

this is one of my favorite things to do with someone. i have not done it with the man i'm currently seeing (the vague "Him" i keep refering to) but i did a great deal of strangle-play with the guy i was last with. we had been together almost five years, and i trusted him completly. he could tell when to let go, and knew me so absolutly that he could read any little signs i gave off. we were just so close, so much a part of each other, that i knew i was safe. in fact, even now that we've both moved on to new relationships, we're still best friends and hang out regularaly. he is also a martial arts expert, and knows all about the difference between blood chokes and air chokes and can execute them exactly. so i had unquestioning faith in him, and i was never let down (obviously, since i'm still alive!)

as for the experience itself - it is EXHILERATING. first, there's the sensation of tightness around my throat, and that panic that makes me want to fight him off. but that's easily overcome and after a while i could just immediatly relax against the choke. it's kind of hard to describe what happens next, but it's sort of like a headrush from when you stand up to fast. i lose vision, and sensation in my body. right before i black out completly, i am aware of my hands feebly flinging themselves at his arms - that last instinctual effort of survival. and then i'm asleep. he always continued pumping into me while this happened, and it was never long at all (like a few seconds) before i woke back up. this is also a nearly indescribable pleasure. as i slowly became aware of my body again, the only thing i could feel was this intensly overwhelming eroticism of sex. i guess it would be like actually waking up in the morning to discover that you're being made love to fierociously.

only once did we have an experience that was less than pleasant. it was the first time he had ever held a choke long enough to make me pass out. he noted that i lost consciousness, and then when i didn't immediatly wake back up, he completly freaked out. i came to about a second or so later with him screaming my name and preparing for C.P.R. i was shocked by his panic, and he laughed with relief when i looked up and said "what the hell are you doing?" so the lesson learned from this is that it takes a second to regain your senses.

No, seriously Your Honor...she LIKED it! I didn't mean to kill her!

In related news, "Preppy Killer" Robbie Chambers, famous for his unsuccessful "rough sex" defense, was recently released after serving his entire sentence.

 

[James G 5]

No, seriously Your Honor...she LIKED it! I didn't mean to kill her!

In related news, "Preppy Killer" Robbie Chambers, famous for his unsuccessful "rough sex" defense, was recently released after serving his entire sentence.

Yep. When my friend Shawn died while doing breath play with her boyfriend (they did everything wrong, they were using plastic bags over their heads in conjunction with drugs) he tried to make it look like a suicide. When the truth came out, the defense was able to demonstrate that they'd done it before (via her diary and other things) and that it was a "fun, consensual game that just got out of control", but she was still dead & he still went to jail for manslaughter.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Yep. When my friend Shawn died while doing breath play with her boyfriend (they did everything wrong, they were using plastic bags over their heads in conjunction with drugs) he tried to make it look like a suicide. When the truth came out, the defense was able to demonstrate that they'd done it before (via her diary and other things) and that it was a "fun, consensual game that just got out of control", but she was still dead & he still went to jail for manslaughter.

Let this be a lesson to you fellows....document, document, document.

 

[James G 5]

Let this be a lesson to you fellows....document, document, document.

Yup
there've been a few cases of consensual BDSM play where for one reason or another charges have been brought against a guy later & he's needed to offer e-mail logs, saved mails, phone messages, etc etc to help defend himself

Of course, a better argument might be to avoid anything so risky & build better relationships with more trust & communication so such charges are never BROUGHT.....

 

[JoseIsWild]

I'm not a fan of throat play, nor does it even appeal to me. The most I have done was pinch her nose closed and did mouth-to-mouth.

 

[bunny bondage]

you guys are completly right concerning the safety issues involving this kind of play, and i agree that this should never be done with someone you don't know completly (i.e. the sub with the heart condition). and while i know that the damage to the brain is cumulative, so is the damage from smoking pot, drinking alcohol, eating cheeseburgers, standing close to a campfire, drinking soda from aluminum cans, and reading. and ok, i don't drink or eat cheeseburgers, but i still enjoy life and all the damage it causes! so while i really don't mean to make light of such a SERIOUS subject, i do feel that my trust in my former lover was justified as i am still alive and (if i do say so myself) functioning at high capacity! but yes, this is by no means something to be taken with a nonchalant attitude, and should be viewed with all considerations involved. and yes, if you screw up, somebody's short life has been cut even shorter. but i just wanted to share my positive experiences.

 

[Zaudika]

This is something I have had some experience with also. My ex and I did breath cutoff by the throat method a few times, but not to the point of me passing out.

I have to totally agree with a few points already made. One, the feeling is definitely indescribable.. and exilerating.. especially when you already have somewhat of a fear of someone near your neck, face, etc. I think it has a lot to do with the trust issue. As is,.. with someone that I love and trust, having them gently touch and kiss my neck is a deeply erotic thing to me, possibly more so than with most people. I think the 'life in your hands' situation is part of what makes it such a strong feeling.

Now.. secondly.. it is definitely, totally, completely dangerous for people to do. Because of this, I would probably not do this play with direct pressure on my neck with hands or an arm again.

I did have another suggestion, which had worked in the past, that may be a little safer. Since I believe a lot of the thrill from this form of play is the neck contact, in this scenario you still keep it. He/She, would have his arm, or hand on or around your throat, not really applying pressure.. just firmly there, while using the other to hold your mouth/nose closed, or cut off the air in another way, aside from applying the pressure to something as sensitive as your throat. Just another suggestion that may or may not work for some.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Hmmm...the closest I come is to hold my cock down a woman's throat until she starts to struggle a bit.

 

[vargas]

This is something I have had some experience with also. My ex and I did breath cutoff by the throat method a few times, but not to the point of me passing out.

I have to totally agree with a few points already made. One, the feeling is definitely indescribable.. and exilerating.. especially when you already have somewhat of a fear of someone near your neck, face, etc. I think it has a lot to do with the trust issue. As is,.. with someone that I love and trust, having them gently touch and kiss my neck is a deeply erotic thing to me, possibly more so than with most people. I think the 'life in your hands' situation is part of what makes it such a strong feeling.

Now.. secondly.. it is definitely, totally, completely dangerous for people to do. Because of this, I would probably not do this play with direct pressure on my neck with hands or an arm again.

I did have another suggestion, which had worked in the past, that may be a little safer. Since I believe a lot of the thrill from this form of play is the neck contact, in this scenario you still keep it. He/She, would have his arm, or hand on or around your throat, not really applying pressure.. just firmly there, while using the other to hold your mouth/nose closed, or cut off the air in another way, aside from applying the pressure to something as sensitive as your throat. Just another suggestion that may or may not work for some.

I like this sexy idea. But I wouldn't do it with someone I didn't know well.

 

[bunny bondage]

i'm glad this thread is still active as i have a delightful experience to share from just half an hour ago. He was over at my place (He'd spent the night here) and i was sitting in the bathroom while He showered. (He insists i come keep Him company, how cute is that?!) so He gets out of the shower and towels off. instead of re-hanging the towel on it's designated hook, He drapes it around my neck and then crosses it, pulling it tightly around my throat. i'd told Him several times that i enjoy asphyxiation (sp?) so it's not like this was an unwarranted act. and He only held it for a second or so, just long enough for me to get a little light-headed, but it was still VERY fun.

so ok, kind of a pointless post, but i just had to tell someone, and you guys are the only ones who can relate!

 

[Richard49]

I keep reading these posts
like the one from Bunny about the towel
and I get very horny
very

 

[Ebonyfire]

Femsub vs. malessub

I think that breath play is a femsub thing. I have yet to meet a malesub who considered it at all. All I have met have it as a hard limit. Which is good, cause it does not interest Me in the least. I have talked to other female Dommes with malesubs, and they have not met any either.

I wonder if there are any Dommes here who have male subs who have expressed an interest in this play.

 

[RoughPlay]

so ok, kind of a pointless post, but i just had to tell someone, and you guys are the only ones who can relate!

Hi Bunny

I liked reading your post. Please keep us updated. Your
bulletins are much more interesting than the stupid ones
they have on the TV news.

 

[MyLoveMySweet]

This is always something I've wanted to try, but have never had the nerve for.