Breaking up

[jake34]

When breaking up with a lover, why is it that the 'truth" about what one really thinks about their partner surfaces, often in an ugly manner?

Dating over 60 is a daunting challenge I keep attempting for some unknown reason. The "deal breaker" in this case was my simple comment, "I know." The problem was that I did know, had heard the same stories before, more than once, and was not inclined to hear them, again. Life is too short for drunken repetition. So, I was told off in no uncertain terms and once again realized that mating is a very delicate thing.

Anyone else want to commiserate?

Sometimes the truth really sucks. Especially if you end up accidently hurting someone. So I do not believe in 'ugly'. But I do believe in the 'truth'.

Finding a mutual connection is so hard to find. That is why it is something to hold onto if you are lucky enough to find it.

It is a huge 'challenge'. But it is better to have danced than to have not danced at all. So to speak. So it is important to keep getting back on the dance floor until you find your perfect partner.

 

[Angellica1612]

I can understand the OP's feeling that a man interested in her should have at least a curiosity about what she wrote. She created it, like an artist creates a sculpture. On the other hand, if it's a romance, men really aren't into reading them (most of them, anyway). In that case, for me, I would say that how I felt about it would depend on how he behaved towards other aspects of my life. If he has no interest in any of my hobbies, then the attraction is purely physical. I can accept it as such or not and move on. I can't see a relationship working if he has no interest in any of my interests. I mean, if I made a huge sculpture, and he knew I'd made it and never said a word about it, I'd be hurt. If he said, well, it's not to my taste, but I admire your creativity, I'd be okay with that. But how can he make any kind of comment about a book if he never bothers to read it? He could at least skim it, or ask questions about it. I think a good relationship requires a balance of shared and separate interests.

And I like the idea of reading a sexy scene from the book to a lover in bed. That could get really interesting. I'm surprised more men didn't think so. You get the sexy scene read to you as foreplay without having to read the whole book. And while she's reading, your hands are free to explore, and she should have one free too.

 

[sr71plt]

She didn't complain that he didn't have an interest in her writing; she complained that he wouldn't read it.

With, as I noted, reading it only being the start of a slippery slope of then commenting on it--with all the landmines that entails. I'm thinking the guy wasn't all that dumb.

Again, we're only getting one side of anything here.

 

[oggbashan]

...

Anyone else want to commiserate?

Just have as many <Hugs> as you need.

 

[AllardChardon]

Thanks, again, everyone, for posting to this thread, but mostly for taking an interest, whether you agree with me or not.

Yes, jake, it is a daunting challenge that I will not forgo. Thanks for the encouragement.

Exactly, Angellica, I was thinking I wish I were a painter of pictures instead of a painter of words. So much easier to look at a painting than read a book to find out if one's work is appreciated or not. With writing it seems, one almost has to beg others to give your work a looksee. Before radio and television, books were major entertainment. I doubt I would have had as much trouble back then. LOL

Whether it makes sense or not, I would prefer a man, who at least allowed me to read my work to him, over time, not in one sitting, if he just can't find the time to do it alone. But to say, "Why should I read your book, I have Madam Gigi here in the flesh and that is much better!" did not sit well with me. Once again, physical needs overshadow emotional ones. I truly felt like he dismissed my entire imagination, which he enjoyed face to face, but would not delve further into. Truly, his loss. There was so much more of me to discover and now he has lost his chance.