Breaking the 4.8 barrier

[BlackShanglan]

'Lo there all. I am really enjoying Literotica, being relatively new to it. I like to write and yes, OK, I am obsessing. Please forgive me It's teasing me that I can make it to about a 4.7 to 4.8 in the voting, but I can't push the little buggers past there. Any advice would be hugely appreciated. I've got two stories up at the moment :

"Meer Kass" (non-human single story one-off) (http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=152786)

"Sweetness and Servitude" (romance / exhibitionist series story - link is to chapter 1 of 4) (http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=152901).

My gut instinct on the former is that people wanted more sex and on the latter is that it's the diction getting overblown and needing to be cut back with a weed whacker. Or possibly the female lead is coming across too whiny? Perhaps those two problems are related? Any advice is hugely appreciated. It's hard to see the forest for the trees in my own work, and it would be fabulous to know if everyone who has issues with it has the same issues.

BTW - anyone writing similar (or for that matter different) things and interested in trading feedback/editing, let me know. I'd love to trade input with a like-minded writer.


Shanglan

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I don't think you'll ever get to a 5, if that's what you want. There are a fewreasons for that.

First of all, you're just not going to able to please everyone that reads your story, so no matter how good it is you're going to get some 4's, if not lower.

Secondly, the higher your score is, the more likely you are to attract trolls who get their jollies by 1-bombing any story that gets too high in the ratings. It's just part of the cost of doing business here.

Thirdly, some people don't much care about voting and don't give it much thought. They might give you a 3 or something because they're in a pissy mood or your heroine's name is the same as their ex's or something like that.

Remember too that votes are a popularity contest. They're not a very reliable indicator of story quality.

Also, if you want high ratings, try writing incest. That's by far the most popular subject on Lit. But take my advice: be very happy with your 4.8.

---dr.M.

 

[wishfulthinking]

I think the difference between 4.7s and 4.8s is the building up of a readership. I think you've got about 5 stories? By the time you get to 9 to 10 stories, your name will start to become known [particularly as you have done a series in one category, you will get known by the readers of that category, and if they like you, they will return]. Oh, and by the time you get to 10 stories, I've found your writing skills are improving, which helps with scores too!

Also, story description has the ability to capture 1000 thousand views or 50 thousand views. I learnt this the easy way, when one of the powers that be intervened and changed my description completely on a story posted last week. I've never had so many views, feedback or public comments for a story in the same category before.

If I get the time, I'll read one of your stories.

Keep writing, and congrats!

Cheers, WT

Edited because my spelling was so bad!

 

[BlackShanglan]

Also, story description has the ability to capture 1000 thousand views or 50 thousand views. I learnt this the easy way, when one of the powers that be intervened and changed my description completely on a story posted last week. I've never had so many views, feedback or public comments for a story in the same category before.

Now, I just have to ask ... what were the "before" and "after" on the description?

Shanglan

(PS on the topic of being "trolled," darned if I didn't just have that pleasant experience I could tell from the sudden deep drop on the last two votes.)

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Hey BS,

I looked at your Sweetness & Solitude a couple days back when you first started this thread, and I never responded.

I just wanted to tell you that I thought the writing was remarkably good, so good I wondered for a while whether this had been copied and pasted from a published e-book or something. (Sorry, I’m suspicious that way.) It really is professional grade, and I’m most impressed.

I didn’t read it through, though, partly because I’m not into this genre, but also because I had the strange feeling that I knew what was going to happen even as it was happening, almost like a literary deja vu: the poor orphaned ingenue, the stern and handsome lord who (I assume) will turn out to have a heart of gold, the arranged marriage. I just wish you could have taken more chances with the plot. But as I say, astonishingly polished prose.

The other thing I noticed was that I couldn’t place just when the story was happening historically. Maybe you tell us later on in the piece, but from what I read, I couldn’t tell if this was fairly recent or set in the early middle ages or what. I don’t know if that was an oversight on your part or whether it was intentional, but even the clothing is described in such vague terms that it might be anytime. For a period piece like this, I would think you’d want to bring in more historical details.

Anyhow, you invited feedback, and that’s mine.

Best,

---dr.M.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Thanks!

Dr. M. -

Cheers, awfully nice of you to speak kindly of my poor efforts. I promise that I do not cut and paste. On my honor as a gentleman.

You know, I seesawed on that historical detail issue. I think I will follow your advice. I had a few things holding me back. The first was that I didn't want to make it too obtrusive; I was wrestling with how to handle it without getting too overt and distracting the reader. (Period is 1860's). Second was that I wasn't sure people would read it, of which theory the marvelous "To Tempt the Devil" has cured me. But third came up as I went along ... I started to realize that it fit to some degree. James's intent is to create a semi-fictional world that he controls and that his bride experiences (inaccurately) as reality. In that context, I started to lull myself into believing that perhaps it made a certain sense for the action to feel a bit distant and dream-like; this is, essentially, going to be Bridey's life.


Bien sure, lord and an ingenue is a very old pairing. But do the dynamics of power ever really get old? I mean, they can get hacky, and no doubt they have in my own awkward offering, but there is that lure that draws one back. Anyway. Heart of gold? Hmmm. Yes. No. Maybe. Bridey will come to adore him. Will the reader? I like him, although he's a terribly dodgy man. He started out quite a lot nastier in conception, but the suave git talked his way into a "nicer" role. But he retains the elements inherent to his creation - a man with a strong interest in control. Exhibitionism ended up as the category because it's the most overt element, but I consider it more a story about control and power. He makes Bridey very happy, but not in the usual fashion. I would argue that her happiness essentially is a tool of her control - classic conditioning combined with total control of environment. I think my point in this story is that real power lies not in what you can force people to do unwillingly, but in what you can make them believe is normal and teach them to enjoy.

But hence the need for the ingenue. Not that she shall be rescued by a dashing hero - so that she shall not know any better but to accept what he tells her is "normal."

Thanks much for the many excellent comments.

Shanglan

 

[impressive]

Also, story description has the ability to capture 1000 thousand views or 50 thousand views.

I believe this to be true, and I also believe I need big time help here! That little tag line is my downfall. It just never feels right me. (The one exception being "Jamaican Swing : A Vacation Odyssey" which is not really descriptive at all, oddly enough.)

I'm pretty comfortable with the stories themselves, but suggested revisions to my tag lines (not all of which are *mine* in that some were bestowed) would be most welcomed:

http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=256465&page=submissions

I'd like to know which tag lines were most intriguing, and which ones you'd change after reading the story. (They're all fairly short -- one clickers.)

Peace,

 

[BlackShanglan]

*grin* I can only suggest what does *not* work. A post in the letters category with the description "A last letter from King Arthur." Cold out here on the planet Pluto.


Shanglan

 

[yui]

*grin* I can only suggest what does *not* work. A post in the letters category with the description "A last letter from King Arthur." Cold out here on the planet Pluto.


Shanglan

Hi Shanglan,

I read and liked the letter. If I did not vote, I will go back and correct that. Having been there, Pluto rather sucks, neh?

Wishing you warmth,

Yui ^_^

 

[BlackShanglan]

Yui, you are most extraordinarily kind. I shall look to return the favor!


Shanglan

 

[wishfulthinking]

Now, I just have to ask ... what were the "before" and "after" on the description?

Before was something like:

The Novice
Her life was overturned by two men determined to possess her

After:
Audrey discovers lust, sin and seduction

It has made a BIG difference. It has got me double the views and votes and feedback I would usually get for that category. To date it has 36 public comments on it, simply because more people are reading it then they would normally.

I am really lame when it comes to figuring out descriptions and titles. But I am really conscious of it now!

 

[eric shawn listo]

quote:

I am really lame when it comes to figuring out descriptions and titles.

Wish I could figure out those cool font and color changes! Hey did--will forget! The only thing I would add to descriptive phrases is DON'T EVER include the words--continues, further educates, continues, further educates, continues--you get the idea! People won't read somthing here if they think they've missd the beginning. I'm not saying any of y'all have done this (only me).

esl

 

[Huckleman2000]

Before was something like:

The Novice
Her life was overturned by two men determined to possess her

After:
Audrey discovers lust, sin and seduction

It has made a BIG difference. It has got me double the views and votes and feedback I would usually get for that category. To date it has 36 public comments on it, simply because more people are reading it then they would normally.

I am really lame when it comes to figuring out descriptions and titles. But I am really conscious of it now!

I totally loved The Novice! I found it because I happened to look into the Feedback Forum that seems to be separate from this BBS-type system. I was raised Catholic, so your story holds the same sort of 'guilty pleasure' as The Name of the Rose, or even The DaVinci Code. Obviously, not so long, but with the same sort of atmospherics - the surrender to spiritual authority, the abuse of spiritual authority, and the curious alchemy that makes the combination so hot. Like, if we both just buy into this thing, we will come SO HARD!

I forget what we were talking about. But I had to get that in here.

 

[BlackSnake]

I don't think you'll ever get to a 5, if that's what you want. There are a fewreasons for that.

First of all, you're just not going to able to please everyone that reads your story, so no matter how good it is you're going to get some 4's, if not lower.

Secondly, the higher your score is, the more likely you are to attract trolls who get their jollies by 1-bombing any story that gets too high in the ratings. It's just part of the cost of doing business here.

Thirdly, some people don't much care about voting and don't give it much thought. They might give you a 3 or something because they're in a pissy mood or your heroine's name is the same as their ex's or something like that.

Remember too that votes are a popularity contest. They're not a very reliable indicator of story quality.

Also, if you want high ratings, try writing incest. That's by far the most popular subject on Lit. But take my advice: be very happy with your 4.8.

---dr.M.

I was happy with my 10 seconds of fame at 4.90 on my first Erotic Horror story. It lasted for a day (yesterday). Today at noon I looked and it had been slammed. Maybe it was Trolled, or someone just might not have liked it. Anyways, to hell with the rating.

 

[wishfulthinking]

I totally loved The Novice! I found it because I happened to look into the Feedback Forum that seems to be separate from this BBS-type system. I was raised Catholic, so your story holds the same sort of 'guilty pleasure' as The Name of the Rose, or even The DaVinci Code. Obviously, not so long, but with the same sort of atmospherics - the surrender to spiritual authority, the abuse of spiritual authority, and the curious alchemy that makes the combination so hot. Like, if we both just buy into this thing, we will come SO HARD!

I forget what we were talking about. But I had to get that in here.

What a darling!

A couple of people said that about catholic schools, which I, having not been to one, would never have realised what a guilty pleasure it seems to be. I would have thought religion would have turned people off the story!

But you also answered a question I've always wanted to ask, and that is whether anyone looks at the feedback forum for a guide on what stories might interest. Cool!

 

[BlackShanglan]

New strategy ...

Read works rated where you want your ratings to be. Yes, that should have been obvious from the first.

Oh, I don't mean slavishly write to what others demand; their demands may not be in line with your tastes. But I certainly had an eye-opening experience when I got to grips with "To Tempt the Devil." Here was someone writing the type of thing I wanted to write, and doing it a good deal better. Ah yes - humor. Why on earth am I making such a grimly serious business of it? And point of view - indeed, there are other people in the world than the two protagonists, and perhaps we've heard about enough from just them and only them. It has been four entire chapters in only two voices.

Some things I am not willing to change. But many things I am willing to learn, or to have gently pointed out to me through my immense enjoyment of another writer's work.

(And ironically, now that I'm much more relaxed on the whole voting issue - I am, however briefly, past the title water-mark of this thread. Please don't take that as a request to troll-bomb me; I've had the pleasure already.)

Shanglan