Branching out

[SecretScribe]

Me too, me too!

A man is lying in bed in a Catholic hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth.
A young auxiliary nurse appears to sponge his face and hands.

"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I'm only here to wash your
face and hands."

He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, Are my testicles black?"

Again the nurse replies, "I can't tell. I'm only here to wash your face and hands."

The ward sister was passing and saw the man getting a little distraught so she marched over to inquire what was wrong.

"Sister," he mumbled, "Are my testicles black?"

Being a nurse of longstanding, the sister was undaunted. She whipped back the bedclothes, pulled down his pajama trousers, moved his penis out of the way, had a good look, pulled up the pajamas, replaced the bedclothes and announced, "Nothing is wrong with them!!!"

At this the man pulled off his oxygen mask and asked again, "Are my test results back???

 

[capricious_chic]

Very funny SS!

 

[SecretScribe]

Very funny SS!

You wanted silliness ... and you being in the medical field this just seemed appropriate ...

 

[Sir James A]

Hi James. welcome to lit....CC is great and this is a very nice thread. It is nice to "branch out" and check out new threads, I am so glad she made it too.

Thank you for the welcome, Mysticcal.
I have done most of my posting at BDSM, but there are a couple of threads that seem friendly here at the playground, so far. This being one of them.

 

[Mysticcal]

Thank you for the welcome, Mysticcal.
I have done most of my posting at BDSM, but there are a couple of threads that seem friendly here at the playground, so far. This being one of them.

You're very welcome James. Many of the threads are friendly and its fun to go visiting now and then. This one is great though for bringing new people in.

Oh dang, did I miss the silliness or can I still get an order of it? after my day today, I could use a biggggggg helping.

 

[SecretScribe]

Oh dang, did I miss the silliness or can I still get an order of it? after my day today, I could use a biggggggg helping.

Well at least one ration of silliness was provided ... but I bet I could dig up more if you desired ...

 

[Mysticcal]

Well at least one ration of silliness was provided ... but I bet I could dig up more if you desired ...

please please please

 

[SecretScribe]

please please please

Top Ten Slogans Currently Being Considered by Viagra
10. "Viagra. The quicker dicker upper"

9. "One-a-day, like iron"

8. "Get a piece of the rock"

7. "You've come a long way, baby"

6. "Viagra, it plumps when you take 'em"

5. "Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman

4. "Tastes great, more filling"

3. "Viagra, built ram tough"

2. "Here's the beef!"

... and the number one slogan being considered by Viagra:

1. Just do her.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Some honorable mentions:
"We work harder, so you don't have to"

"Ten inches long... and growing."

"Viagra, when it absolutely, positively has to be there tonight"

"Viagra, home of the whopper"

"Viagra, Now is a great time to be silver"

"This is your penis. This is your penis on Viagra. Any questions??

 

[Forever_Gemini]

Top Ten Slogans Currently Being Considered by Viagra
10. "Viagra. The quicker dicker upper"

9. "One-a-day, like iron"

8. "Get a piece of the rock"

7. "You've come a long way, baby"

6. "Viagra, it plumps when you take 'em"

5. "Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman

4. "Tastes great, more filling"

3. "Viagra, built ram tough"

2. "Here's the beef!"

... and the number one slogan being considered by Viagra:

1. Just do her.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Some honorable mentions:
"We work harder, so you don't have to"

"Ten inches long... and growing."

"Viagra, when it absolutely, positively has to be there tonight"

"Viagra, home of the whopper"

"Viagra, Now is a great time to be silver"

"This is your penis. This is your penis on Viagra. Any questions??

Yeah, 10' ...

edited to add a ? including a ! and a ? (well, you know, lol)

 

[SecretScribe]

I'm guessing that wasn't funny enough ... back to the salt mines with me ...

 

[SecretScribe]

Oldie but goodie ...

Anytime you feel dumb, don't worry. Lots of people are dumber than you.

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the many calls asking where the "Any" key is.

2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes by rolling them into a typewriter to type on them.

4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of the floppies.

5. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold on, and was then heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing the room to close the door to his room.

6. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.

7. Another Dell customer needed help setting up a new program, so a Dell tech suggested he go to the local Egghead. "Yeah, I got me a couple of friends," the customer replied. When told "Egghead" was a software store, the man said, "Oh, I thought you meant for me to find a couple of geeks."

8. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.

9. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid". The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.

10. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring that the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse.

11. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in, and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"

12. True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp

Caller "Hello, is this Tech Support?"

Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"

Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"

Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a "cup holder"?"

Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."

Tech: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped; it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotion, like at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"

Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has '4X' on it."

At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive!

Another well-known one that I can add is the true tale of the user who called up complaining that the instructions said to load the four diskettes into "Drive A" but he couldn't possibly get more than two in

 

[Forever_Gemini]

I'm guessing that wasn't funny enough ... back to the salt mines with me ...

Oh, it was, still thinking of 10"s *wink* (and I think this is the wrong thread )

 

[SecretScribe]

Oh, it was, still thinking of 10's *wink*

You are a hard girl to satisfy, I can see ...

 

[Forever_Gemini]

You are a hard girl to satisfy, I can see ...

Once we can post in unison maybe...

 

[SecretScribe]

Once we can post in unison maybe...

Hmmm ... being in unison with you ... well the mind does wander at that thought, indeed!

 

[Forever_Gemini]

Hmmm ... being in unison with you ... well the mind does wander at that thought, indeed!

Oh, don't get any ideas, as I'm considered the troll in the GB and by WCM - watch out - stay safe (or out of control) lol

 

[SecretScribe]

Oh, don't get any ideas, as I'm considered the troll in the GB and by WCM - watch out - stay safe (or out of control) lol

If you wish me to have no ideas, then your request shall be honored. However, having been a mod (another forum) ... I'm afraid I don't quite see the resemblance as yet ...

 

[capricious_chic]

One more day until FRIDAY!!


Thanks for the silliness SS, how fun to read first thing in the moring. Always good to start the day with a smile. Although, in my present mood.. I can think of one better way to wake up. -sigh-


Hi ya FG, Mysti, James... everyone else that may breeze through.

Yawn.. I really wish I could go back to bed!

I hope everyone has a fantastic day.

 

[capricious_chic]

Oh, don't get any ideas, as I'm considered the troll in the GB and by WCM - watch out - stay safe (or out of control) lol

Fuck 'em FG!!


Hmm.. out of control sounds about good right now!

 

[SecretScribe]

Thanks for the silliness SS, how fun to read first thing in the moring. Always good to start the day with a smile. Although, in my present mood.. I can think of one better way to wake up. -sigh-

and I'd love to help you with that ... oh yes ..

 

[NightMoves]

Good Morning Everyone

How is everyone today? I hope you're all doing well. A BIG for the ladies, and a handshake for the boys. Great to see everyone today.

 

[Curious_Fem]

Peeking in to branch out....wishing everyone the best of days!

Actually....I really wanted to be under NightMoves.

 

[NightMoves]

hehehe

Peeking in to branch out....wishing everyone the best of days!

Actually....I really wanted to be under NightMoves.

But I thought you enjoyed being on top, too?

hehehe

 

[Curious_Fem]

Re: hehehe

But I thought you enjoyed being on top, too?

hehehe

Oh most definitely. How are you today, handsome?

 

[NightMoves]

Re: Re: hehehe

Oh most definitely. How are you today, handsome?

Doing great thanks, and you sweetie?