Brainstorming a sequel to my story

[Unblemished]

I'm working on a sequel to my recent story, https://literotica.com/s/back-to-the-ex, and wanted to work through a few ideas with you all. Or possibly just pontificate to myself until I figure out what I'm doing, hahaha.

At 1000 words the story is very short, but for context: The main character, a spunky and fiery young goth/emo girl, has recently broken up with her boyfriend. He still has one of her hoodies in his house so she shows up and demands it back, but, well, they had some good chemistry together and she falls into temptation. He pulls her knickers from under her skirt, fucks her silly, hands her the hoodie, and kicks her out. Mission accomplished...except he kept her panties, and she's too tired, flustered, and post-orgasmic to process this until after he's slammed the door.

A week later she shows back up in an almost-identical repeat of the story's beginning, except this time, she's asking for her knickers back.

The obvious implication, as a commenter on another site put it, is that "Knickers, My Ass, she was back for more."

So. Sequel. I have a decent idea of where I want to go with it, and I already know how the series ends. But the devil is, as always, in the details.

It would pick up where we left off, with the MC wanting her clothes back. She's telling herself that this time she'll stay strong, get what she came for and leave without any more sexual flings with this guy she now hates. But the thought of what he might have been doing with her worn knickers (jacking off with them, sniffing them, whatever) distracts her, flusters her, and of course turns her on...so they fuck again, and once again he gives her what she asked for and takes something else.

I'm thinking he pulls out and cums on her breasts, staining the shirt she's wearing and causing her to storm away wearing only the aforementioned hoodie over her bra, but I'm not sure yet. If so I'll probably emphasise her tits during the sex, with them bouncing and shifting under the shirt, him reaching under to grope them, etc.

Now, I could leave it there, have the sequel be just another episode in these two's dysfunctional love life, and do a third chapter afterwards. But some people suggested that a longer story might work better and be more to Lits taste. If so the sequel would keep going, and would probably lean into her trying questionable things to stop him from taking her clothes, trying to turn the tables on him, and being in constant denial over the fact that she's really, really not over the guy.

I would also have to go into a bit more detail about their relationship and how it ended.

Perhaps there was no great betrayal on either part, just arguments that went bad and led to them lashing out and breaking up over things said in anger, since by the end I might imply that they get back together. Or I might lean towards it being the MC's fault and that she's too proud to admit it, to justify why she's the one getting her comeuppance in the story. One thing I want to avoid though is anything that would really turn the audience against the female MC, since apparently trolls on here get...intense about certain things.

Also, I'll inevitably have to come up with an actual name for my MC. I'm currently thinking Sally, since it's a normal sounding name that goes against the image of a fiery, dyed-haired goth chick in huge boots in a way I find kinda funny.

Thoughts, anyone?

 

[Carnevil9]

Ah, the old "leave behind"!

I like the idea of the character being in denial. And going back again and again to retrieve her article of clothing which she probably left deliberately if unconsciously. Maybe in the final episode, she REALLY makes up her mind to be very careful not to leave anything behind, but the boyfriend surreptitiously plants something of his onto her (slips his wallet or cell phone or some item of jewelry into her purse or something like that) which either gets her to come back yet again, or gives him an excuse to go visit her place.

 

[Unblemished]

Ah, the old "leave behind"!

I like the idea of the character being in denial. And going back again and again to retrieve her article of clothing which she probably left deliberately if unconsciously. Maybe in the final episode, she REALLY makes up her mind to be very careful not to leave anything behind, but the boyfriend surreptitiously plants something of his onto her (slips his wallet or cell phone or some item of jewelry into her purse or something like that) which either gets her to come back yet again, or gives him an excuse to go visit her place.

Oldest trick in the book, or thereabouts

Her subconsciously allowing it to happen is definitely a part of it. In the first story there's a bit where she realises she's put on her best-looking, sexiest underwear to go see him, showing that while she doesn't want to admit it, she unconsciously knew or hoped that sex was going to happen.

One thing I want to put in is a humorous interlude with the MC and a female friend, where she's looking for ideas and thinking up ways to fix the situation. With the friend asking reasonable things like "Are you sure you're not secretly enjoying this?" or "Why don't you just meet him in public, where you can't give into your primal urges and engage in wild, sweaty hatesex on a whim, at least not without getting arrested?" and getting counterarguments that aren't quite 100% convincing.

As for him sneaking her something of his, that's a really good idea. My original thought for the ending was that eventually, he genuinely doesn't take anything...and so forces her to confront the real reason they're going through this song and dance, realising she'd hoped he had and is sad that he didn't. So she shows up at his door with no excuse and admits that she's here for him. But the idea of him slipping her one of his belongings and then going to her is great, could even be romantic if done right. I might use that, with acknowledgments to you of course if I do.

Either way, I reckon the end will have them openly sleeping together again. I like the thought of an epilogue where the MC insists to the friend that her and the ex totally aren't a couple again, it's just sex...while constantly texting said ex-boyfriend and smiling like she's in love. At which point her friend is like "Yeah. Sure you're not."

(Because by then they'll be able to arrange a booty call over the phone like normal people instead of orchestrating clothes theft and "leaving" their belongings places, lol)

 

[TarnishedPenny]

I like the concept and I liked the original - funny, good handle on eroticism, good concept and really solid characterizations, especially her. I do think you could do even better with the sequel by working to make it a bit longer. Such talent should not be cut short. Good luck.

 

[LupusDei]

Randomly and shamefully planting a kink, what about one of the later times she decides that the only way to not leave anything of her clothes behind is to show up on his doorstep naked?

And yes, that's also perfect excuse to leave wearing something of his... Even if her own clothes are hidden in her car (or under bushes) just around the corner.

 

[NewOldGuy77]

Either way, I reckon the end will have them openly sleeping together again. I like the thought of an epilogue where the MC insists to the friend that her and the ex totally aren't a couple again, it's just sex...while constantly texting said ex-boyfriend and smiling like she's in love. At which point her friend is like "Yeah. Sure you're not."

(Because by then they'll be able to arrange a booty call over the phone like normal people instead of orchestrating clothes theft and "leaving" their belongings places, lol)

Me being me, I would be remiss if I didn't suggest perhaps in a later chapter that, against all common sense, boyfriend catches feelings that he loves Sally/goth and wants to be the father of a goth baby. Condoms break, bc pills are 'lost', and maiesiophiliac hilarity ensues!

 

[Unblemished]

Okay, the name 'Sally' has gotten stuck in my head now. Always happens: You pick a name as a placeholder and then it refuses to budge.

I thought I might open with a recap by way of dialogue, after she describes what happened in the first story to her rather exasperated friend. Then jump to the action.

I like the concept and I liked the original - funny, good handle on eroticism, good concept and really solid characterizations, especially her. I do think you could do even better with the sequel by working to make it a bit longer. Such talent should not be cut short. Good luck.

Thanks! I'm told 5000 words is a good number for a story on Lit so I reckon I'll aim for something in that ballpark and see how far it takes me. Then, any ideas I don't get to will go in a chapter 3.

Randomly and shamefully planting a kink, what about one of the later times she decides that the only way to not leave anything of her clothes behind is to show up on his doorstep naked?

And yes, that's also perfect excuse to leave wearing something of his... Even if her own clothes are hidden in her car (or under bushes) just around the corner.

Could happen! Maybe wearing just a very long coat which she drops on the doorstep. One idea I had was for her to wear as few items as possible - basically a braless dress and a thong that can be pushed aside for access. Perhaps when that fails, she tries being naked.

Me being me, I would be remiss if I didn't suggest perhaps in a later chapter that, against all common sense, boyfriend catches feelings that he loves Sally/goth and wants to be the father of a goth baby. Condoms break, bc pills are 'lost', and maiesiophiliac hilarity ensues!

I do love a bit of impregnation/pregnancy kink, but adding in too many elements might overcomplicate the story. Maybe if they do get back together and I revisit the couple after a timeskip once this tale is done, though, it could be a good idea.

There's a lot of hilarity and horniness to be had with the concept, depending on which one wants it. Or even if they both do: "Oh no, I 'lost' my pills."/ "Oh shit, I 'forgot' you weren't on birth control."/ "Shit, I didn't tell you I was ovulating today. Oh well, it's probably fine!"/ "Oops, I l couldn't hold it and came before I could pull out, happens to everyone, sorry...even though I've just demonstrated having plenty of control, what with screwing you until you screamed right before I suddenly 'couldn't hold it.'/ "Well, might as well go another round before I go get Plan B. Whoopsie, I forgot to get Plan B." Etc etc ad infinitum until one soon-to-be goth wife is very thoroughly knocked up. But it's an idea for further down the line.

Something tells me that if either of them does fall in love, they're not going to admit it until the words get forced out of them. Possibly in a moment of passion. Followed by a lot of unconvincing backpedaling.

 

[TheRedChamber]

I did think that the original story worked so well because it was short. 1000 words is extreme, so you could certainly extend it a bit, but I think maybe you'd have to be careful not to lose the energy of the original. I also think your current ideas sound a little bit like a rehash of the first one - maybe juts changing the items she's back for and the sexual acts they perform might be enough, but you could try something more radical, but with the same intensity as the first one.

- She's in a secluded section of the park, his dog comes running up to her, she makes a fuss of him. Guy arrives looking for dog, sex happens.
- They're both at a wedding. She's had to de-goth and hates it. They meet up outside and complain about how everyone assumes they're still together and how annoying that is. Sex happens.
- He offers her ticket to Goth band he knows she likes. His friends car break's down at the gig so he goes to collect him. She thinks he's stalking her. They have a huge row. Sex happens.

And so on.

 

[Unblemished]

I did think that the original story worked so well because it was short. 1000 words is extreme, so you could certainly extend it a bit, but I think maybe you'd have to be careful not to lose the energy of the original. I also think your current ideas sound a little bit like a rehash of the first one - maybe juts changing the items she's back for and the sexual acts they perform might be enough, but you could try something more radical, but with the same intensity as the first one.

- She's in a secluded section of the park, his dog comes running up to her, she makes a fuss of him. Guy arrives looking for dog, sex happens.
- They're both at a wedding. She's had to de-goth and hates it. They meet up outside and complain about how everyone assumes they're still together and how annoying that is. Sex happens.
- He offers her ticket to Goth band he knows she likes. His friends car break's down at the gig so he goes to collect him. She thinks he's stalking her. They have a huge row. Sex happens.

And so on.

These are good points. I feel like varying the sex and so on will keep things spicy for a bit, but you're right that using the exact same setup will get repetitive in the end. Incorporating more varied ideas could keep things from going stale. I especially like the wedding one.

A higher wordcount provides opportunities but I recognise that lengthening the tale raises the opportunity for errors. Bloat, trying to do too much at once, etc. Perhaps jumping immediately from 1000 words to 5000 is a bit much; a somewhat longer but still snappy chapter 2 might be a safer bet, and would mean I'd have an easier time salvaging things in chapter 3 if the quality drops.

Maybe a good plan would be to do the action the way of the first story, then use slightly more detailed prose as connective tissue to provide context and link the sex scenes together? For example, the wedding could start with a bit of narration to set the scene and a brief interaction with someone who presumes the two are still an item. Then they meet, there's a bit of dialogue to characterise them whilst raising the tension...then a short and furious sex scene.

So the story might start with a quick recap, jump to the "Here for my knickers" punchline for some action, then have her not immediately go back for whatever she left this time - she puts it on hold for a bit to try and sort her head out, only for the wedding scenario to happen as above. End on a suitable note. Then see how it's received and progress from there.

Either way, with all these different ideas it's going to need some thought.

EDIT: Blah the post reverted to an earlier draft how does that even happen? Fixed now

 

[TheRedChamber]

Maybe a good plan would be to do the action the way of the first story, then use slightly more detailed prose as connective tissue to provide context and link the sex scenes together? For example, the wedding could start with a bit of narration to set the scene and a brief interaction with someone who presumes the two are still an item. Then they meet, there's a bit of dialogue to characterise them whilst raising the tension...then a short and furious sex scene.

So the story might start with a quick recap, jump to the "Here for my knickers" punchline for some action, then have her not immediately go back for whatever she left this time - she puts it on hold for a bit to try and sort her head out, only for the wedding scenario to happen as above. End on a suitable note. Then see how it's received and progress from there.

Either way, with all these different ideas it's going to need some thought.

I like the idea of a series of stories of the exes bump into each other and fuck - which are rapid and varied. If you want to develop it into something longer with an overall narative, then sure have a recap, have her turn down sex at his only for them to meet later at the wedding. I'd skip straight to the wedding and not bother with continuity, the idea is simple enough each time.

EDIT: Blah the post reverted to an earlier draft how does that even happen? Fixed now

It saves every so often. if you hit refresh accidently or had two windows open on the same post it can happen.

 

[PattieD]

Sally manages to retrieve all of her stray belongings which equates to the reality that this in fact would be the last time at his door. The door that he once opened for her as a constant gesture of her stay with him being one of welcome. The door that she soon regularly opened herself as her welcome had slowly deteriorated into accommodation. The door that she watched being closed by lover turned landlord handing her a box meticulously filled with the all the excuses for return serving as her eviction notice.
The box packed with memories was reluctantly carried away and deliberately tossed into the recess of her trunk. Yet, the contents seemed to speak to her through random colliding sounds as she drove back to the nearby apartment that she had abandoned yet maintained during those months of domestic and sexual bliss away. An apartment that seemed unfamiliar and unwelcome except for the one constant on the wall that her mother had given her as a housewarming gift. A homemade key holder that had a history represented by years of wear and a collection of keys that no longer served a purpose.
Car keys found there way to the same hook that had carried them through several changes of zip codes. All the hooks were symmetrical in two horizontal rows except for one. One hook had was missing due to a mount simply unable to hold the screw hook tightly in place. The gap left behind had been accepted until the opportunity to make this a slightly mother daughter project. Just above the empty space of rotted material was the addition of a heart-shaped hook that held a key that once opened a door to months of domestic and sexual bliss.
A key that remained behind much like all of those articles of clothing conveniently left behind as a quick pass for reentry into his apartment and into his bed. With that key, she was now the landlord in a role-play that they played to perfection when he would return without warning. The demanding landlord that was be beyond impatient for his monthly rent payment but willing to forego the debt simply by a night of sexual bartering. Her supporting was one of reluctance turned consensual when flannel pajamas became ensembles of silk and lace.
Staring at that tarnished singular key, her mind rewrote the screenplay with ease by exchanging the characters' roles while conjuring all the costumes and wardrobe that would demand his servitude of sexual bartering. A script of precision and coercion slowly wrote itself as she shopped for an outfit that would instill her with domination while reducing him to submission even without a word spoken. A crisp and tightly tailored dress suit concealed the lingerie that rubbed her confidence to a peak that would burst when she flung that door back open.
. . . just a matter of surveilling the destination to determine when the new girlfriend was away on assignment.

 

[Kenourio]

Bit of a late reply, so apologies if you've already started working on it.

The problem you have is that you first story had a conflict - the protagonists have broken up and seemingly mean it - which gets solved through the frantic sex. Any repeat story loses that conflict, as we've already seen them give in to temptation. So you either need to make the scenarios more comical (basically inviting the reader to laugh at her self-delusion), or raise the emotional stakes. Most of the above suggestions rely on the former, but let's think about the latter.

What if she meets a new guy? Sweet, caring, rich, good-looking - a Ken doll, basically. Worships her, loves her look, wants to support her in every way. Have a sex scene between them - he goes down on her, she only jerks him off, he respects her boundaries. Then she runs into her ex...

 

[LupusDei]

What if... the ex has more locations than just that one appartment? That's the place he stays in city, but perhaps there's a cabin or farmhouse, not necessarily his own, but one he has a permanent room. There could be several such.

So she left the hoodie in his appartment, but also sketchbook and pastels in his farmhouse, and hiking boots in the mountain cabin. She may initially write those as loss, but then decide to go after those too, eventually.

And/or said panties or the next item may travel with him to one of those locations. Meeting him then may require more negotiation, to clear up a time he's where. Or in contrary, there may be retrieval operation that planned to not be meeting him at all, but some other person warding that place. He may be there by surprise anyway.

 

[Cobaltofdark]

Have her steal his 200 dollar Jordan's and have ransom note explaing the horrible things that will happen to these expensive shoes if her lucky panties are not returned with him wearing them cause your my bitch now! Just a thought