Bra Sizes

[Laurel]

Here's some helpful info for erotic authors who are unfamiliar with bra sizes... There are two components in a bra size: a number and a letter (36C, for example). The number is the circumference (distance around) of the woman's ribcage. The letter is her cup size.

Therefore, if you describe a woman as petite, 5'4", 110 lbs., then go on to say she has a 44DD chest, your female readers (and those men familiar with bra sizes) will cry foul. A measurement like that would mean that her ribcage was abnormally huge - she would be misshapen. A more appropriate measurement (if you were trying to make a point about the woman being small, but well-endowed) would be 34C, D, or DD - or maybe 36C, D, or DD.

Just a little tidbit for y'all...

 

[Michael]

Thanks for the useful information, Laurel, but aside from that, it's funny how obsessed people sometimes become with numbers when assessing each other as potential lovers--some with cock size, some with breast size. Your post reminded me of my amply endowed girlfriend of a few years ago, who certainly knew how to use her breasts to please me but would have been put off, I am sure, had I ever actually asked her bra size, and I don't know it to this day.

 

[Rodrigo]

Here's some more helpful hints, from me, your pal Rodrigo:

1. As a general rule, men have TWO testicles. Two. Anymore more than two would make them some sort of side-show freak, any less would imply some kind of accident.


2. "Hi, I'd like to shove my dick in your ass." Is not a realistic opening line. At least not usually.

3. Underwear is worn UNDER the clothes, people, I can't strees that fact enough. On a related topic, it is socks THEN shoes.

4. For the most part, the sky is blue.

5. Human beings generally don't have more than one head.

6. Dogs do not speak English. Mainly they bark. So, if at anytime in your story a dog or similar animal begins to speak, you are fucking crazy. Seek professional help immediately.

7. If you don't know what the the numbers and letters of a bra correspond to, you should not attempt writing erotic stories. You should get out of the fucking house and find a girlfriend. Too many shut-ins around here methinks.

I hope these things help. I'm all about the help.

 

[Dakota]

Just curious. Did someone right that in a story and if not, what posessed you to write that

 

[Michael]

"Here's some more helpful hints, from me, your pal Rodrigo:

1. As a general rule, men have TWO testicles...

3. Underwear is worn UNDER the clothes...

4. For the most part, the sky is blue...

7. If you don't know what the the numbers and letters of a bra correspond to, you should not attempt writing erotic stories. You should get out of the fucking house and find a girlfriend. Too many shut-ins around here methinks.

I hope these things help. I'm all about the help."

The helpful spirit comes through loud and clear, Rodrigo. You're so sharp that Laurel didn't even have to explain that gals usually have two breasts.

While you're busy helping, hope you can also help by telling Laurel how much you appreciate her efforts to help, too, until she gets some more members who aren't shut-ins. I know this shut-in was happy just to see a topic like bra size, a subject I can always warm to, appear on the bulletin board. Laurel, thanks.

 

[Rodrigo]

Just curious, Michael, but are you at all familiar with the concept of jokes?

 

[Michael]

I've heard of them, Rodrigo, but my shut-in life may have limited my ability to recognize them. Some of them tend to sound, to me, like flip sarcasm, but maybe that's just me.

 

[Dakota]

Nope, I don't think its just you Michael. I thought the same thing when reading hid reaply. Although I found some of it funny

Not the fact that it sounds like he is being meen. But that i have seen what he is talking about in alot of differant stories

 

[Rodrigo]

I'm not usually the type that explains myself, but I'll give it a try. I was refering to people that don't know what the letters and numbers on a bra mean, as shut-ins. I wasn't directing it at anybody in particular. It was a joke. I figured out fairly early in the game what the secret code of bras was. If you took that personally, that's your problem. The stuff I wrote wasn't directed at Laurel either, it was jokes. Funny fucking jokes. Lighten up, kids, the topic was bra sizes for Christ sake.
As for as what I feel about Laurel, she's the balls.
Flip saracsm? Of course it was flip sarcasm. Is there something wrong with that? The last person I heard say flip sarcasm was a bad thing was my teacher in sixth grade. Sometimes I don't know why I bother.

 

[Michael]

"Flip saracsm? Of course it was flip sarcasm. Is there something wrong with that?"

Sure is. Sarcasm is hostile. Flippancy is inane.

" The last person I heard say flip sarcasm was a bad thing was my teacher in sixth grade."

Might not have been a bad idea to have listened.

 

[Rodrigo]

I'm begining to understand why Xxplorer took some time off. I think I need a vacation.

 

[Laurel]

Flip Sarcasm? Wasn't he a late '60's comedian who was on Hollywood Squares or Match Game or $100,000 Pyramid? I'm hooked on Game Show Network nowadays - just can't get enough of 3's A Crowd, especially the old episodes, before grabbing your secretary's ass was sexual harassment...

Dakota - No Comment...

And Rodrigo - thanks for the clarifications, bro. That underwear thing has been confusing me for a while. And the opening line thing... that explains a lot - guess I won't be using THAT one anymore...

 

[Laurel]

P.S. Rodrigo - to me, you're not just the balls - you're the whole package, baby...

 

[Miranda]

My, my, my. And here I thought I was the only one who didn't like everyone on the BB...! feels good to know I'm not alone. Not that I dislike any of you in particular....

 

[Deborah]

Laurel, have you been talking to Jesse Ventura again? I wear a 70D and they drag on the ground, much like the hands of some of the guys who post on this board. You snot! What's up with the crack about the point on the top of my head? Actually, that point has a point. It's the entry point for the brain sucker and if XXplorher was around he would say, "it's starving!"

Rodrigo, have you been talking to the padded walls again? BTW, your buddy has a HER on the end of his name. It's a Girl Scout thing.

And Rodrigo, I guess you didn't hear about the latest on wearing underwear. Laurel sent a request to female authors for used panties. She then sent them to male authors to wear on their heads while writing to stimulate erotic thinking. Only problem, then she had to issue a "no masturbating while writing because no fucking work is getting done" edict.

 

[Fallen Angel]

I thought that the number, say 36, was measured around the chest including the breasts and the cup size gave how much of that was tit.

Did Manu get a shave? It appears someone has been doing research on breasts sizes already.

How about a pictorial Laurel, to educate everyone on bra sizes? We could start with you and then any of the other authors that wanted to "submit".

70D, wow Deborah your picture doen't do you justice in the newsletter. I want to be on your good side so that if I make it to the reunion, we can raise Hell and a few other things.

Zeke, my dog, doesn't want to go on such a long trip. He hates riding in the back of the pickup, says it's degrading. He says to tell Rodrigo that most dogs don't learn English because they feel it is a waste of time. If humans are too stupid to understand them now, why bother to learn the language.

 

[Bs]

Come on guys! Lighten up on Rodrigo!! That was the funniest post since the Southrn/Xx/Derba fight a weeks back!

I prefer my socks over my boots tastes better when I put my foot in my mouth.

<WOOF!>

 

[Laurel]

Yeah, Rodrigo slays me... His post on the Pantyhose thread in the General section had me on the floor laughing...

I thought that the number, say 36, was measured around the chest including the
breasts and the cup size gave how much of that was tit.

Yeah, same diff... I wasn't trying to start a big deal over it - just offering some friendly helpful advice to future erotic writers.

How about a pictorial Laurel, to educate everyone on bra sizes? We could start with
you and then any of the other authors that wanted to "submit".

Mine would be a small contribution - perky, but small.

And here I thought I was the only one who didn't like everyone on the
BB...! feels good to know I'm not alone.

I think the above thread is simply witty sparring back & forth. I could be wrong, but I think most people come here because they actually enjoy reading the posts and like the company of those that post. A lot of the guys and girls who read the BB also hang out with each other in chat and even exchange emails. So, I think you're assessment is incorrect.

In fact, usually (and I could be wrong here) I believe that the natural tendency is for people to spend time doing things that are enjoyable. The fact that you not only read the BB, but also take the time to post, tells me that, despite your assertions otherwise, you do like us. And we all like you, too, so don't be ashamed to admit it!

 

[Laurel]

And bs - I see your "woof" and raise you a "bow-wow"...

 

[*Eve*]

Laurel, thank you. I can't thank you enough for pointing that out. Although it's amusing it takes away a little credibility for tiny women with elephant chests.
Rodrigo, you are a nut! I was laughing so hard I almost fell out of my seat. I will keep the two testicle thing in mind when I write my next story. Thanks for pointing that out to us.
Mike, if I may call you that, lighten up, we're all friends here.
"Can't we all just get along?"

 

[Hullo_nurse]

If we want to get technical here, then I shall indulge you all. If you take a measurement around the rib cage under the armpit but above the breast (we will call this the "chest") that is the # part of the bra size. Then you take a second measurement around the chest at the nipple, so it is rib cage + tit(we will call this "bust"). You subtract the "chest" measuremenmt from the "bust" measurement and the difference will tell you the cup size:
0.5-1.5" = A cup
1.5-2.5" = B cup
2.5-3.5" = C cup
3.5-4.5" = D cup
4.5-5.5" = DD or E cup
5.5-6.5" = DDD or F cup
6.5-7.5" = FF or G cup
7.5-8.5" = GG cup
8.5-9.5" = H cup
9.5-10.5"= I cup

Doe this explain it to all you "shut-in's" & whatnot?

I agree with Laurel that I wouldn't cum here every day to get my fix of literotica BB if I didn't like all of you guys. Sometimes I find Rodrigo's assinine humor funny, so much that I practically piss in my own pants. I find Deborah & Helle's sarcasm and pure unadulterated rage funny too, for some reason. I know that I personally will jab fun at the other posters just to do that - jab fun - I never mean to intentionally hurt or belittle anyone. (see my post to the looking for an aussie thread). I think that we have a great comradary here & love the friends I have made here. They prove that a dirty mind is not something to wast on those who do not appreciate it & that you are NORMAL even if you like to read about incest, dogsex, rape and whatnot. We all like a good mindfuck!
Isn't that what freedom of spech is all about?

Ok, now I've gone overboard, I know...so sue me...or better yet, get on your knees between my legs and start licking....tee hee

 

[Laurel]

I'm with ya, Nursie... Except for the dogsex and the rape bit - count me out on that adventure.

And thanks for the more detailed information - it clarifies the measurement idea quite a bit. You go girlie! I'm posting your blowjob description on the site tonight, in the "how-to" section, so that those who don't wander near the BB won't be deprived of your skillful description.

Seriously, though - you'd be surprised at how many men don't understand bra sizes. I mean normal men - not shut-ins or freaks. Strange, but true..

 

[Deborah]

Fallen Angel, speaking of my pic in the newsletter, you'll never guess who put the whiskers on me. I keep getting e-mails with, "Are you a transsexual, a transvestite or a hermaphodite?" Stay tuned for my revenge (Hint: think bra size)

 

[Fallen Angel]

Ahhh revenge a delicate dish. Best severved unexpected and in large quantity.

Nurse, I think I have gone blind (they warned me this would happen if I didn't quit) could you come by and give me that list again in brail. Bring Laurel for the small sizes I like perky.

When I first came to this site it was for the stories but more and more it is for the people on the BB. At first the gender wars worried me but now it is the conflicts that intrigue me. Rodrigo is filling in a void left by XX and I like most of his humor. There is still the tendency to take everything said verbatim (go ahead, check that spelling). We need the controversy just to keep it from getting too dull.

Zeke says Rodrigo is right about me being crazy, but not from talking to him. It is because I sit at a little box and think I talk to people who I can't see, hear, touch, or smell. He can't believe that I would talk to someone till I have checked out their ass. Hmmm actually I do prefer it that way.

 

[Laurel]

Deborah - hey! I did not! If it had been me, I wouldn't have stopped with the whiskers!! And it's not 26AAA, it's 34(barely)B, so quite teasing, Ms. Jealous!

Rodrigo is filling in a void left by XX and I like most of his humor.

Rodrigo's the bee's knees, as are all of you people. I'm especially impressed with the latest crop of newbies (Fallen, Michael, Dakota, Phantom, Butterfly, and many more who'll I'll offend by not mentioning but I'm talking about you and you know who you are) and their wit, intellect, and capacity to take (& throw) a punch. This site keeps getting better, and it's all 'cause of you great people...

There is
still the tendency to take everything said verbatim (go ahead, check that spelling).

Part of the problem is that sarcasm is difficult to communicate in this type of forum. It relies heavily on context and body language, both of which are hard to communicate with a keyboard. I think that's the issue behind the last squabble - people taking everything waaaaay too seriously, thinking the whole board was against them, blah blah, when in fact most of the people involved were just goofing off. I tried to communicate this to those involved, but had no success.

I mean, this is entertainment, people! This isn't real life! Most everything that is posted here is done so in the spirit of fun, not to hurt you or make you look stupid. I find that if I take everything everyone writes here as sarcasm or as a joke, then I'm much happier. I don't expect everyone to like me - no one should expect that. Just chill, babies - life's too short to sweat the petty stuff (or petty the sweaty stuff, even).