Boy taken to court for not inviting classmates to birthday party.

[matriarch]

swedish boy's birthday party

Words
fail
me
!!!!

 

[Guest]

At our children's elementary school that is the rule.

If you pass invites out at school during class, everyone in class has to be invited. If you only wish to invite a certain number of kids those invitations should be mailed or handed out before or after school.

But a lawsuit over this? Heavens.

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

The Valentine's Day trials could be brutal . . .

 

[starrkers]

At our children's elementary school that is the rule.

If you pass invites out at school during class, everyone in class has to be invited. If you only wish to invite a certain number of kids those invitations should be mailed or handed out before or after school.

But a lawsuit over this? Heavens.

How does that sit with the Freedom of Association rights?

 

[keeblercrumb]

swedish boy's birthday party

Words
fail
me
!!!!

Perhaps I am reading this wrong, but it seemed to me from reading the story that it was the BOY'S father who took the school to court (actually, "Parliamentary Ombudsman") because the school confiscated his invitations because he did not include everyone.

They apparently, as Sarrahh's school does as well, do not allow invitation that are not inclusive.

I am not sure how I feel about the rule.... I appreciate the sentiment on the part of the school.

But I think the Boy's father has definitely over-reacted.....

-KC

 

[tickledkitty]

Wow. I guess the kid won't ever forget this particular birthday.

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

How does that sit with the Freedom of Association rights?

We still have those?

 

[elfin_odalisque]

The 'Prizes for Everyone' mentality, promoted by people - usually teachers - who have no understanding of childhood, does more damage to the kids it purports to 'protect' than to the feisty guys (like most of us here) who are always going to wait their time and then push.

In this world we all have to fight to be heard, recognized and have to take the rejections on the way. From Walmart shelfstacker to top cardiac surgeon, it is always a jostling path to learn from mistakes, do better next time and learn to compete.

Kids are the most competitive, tribal, risk-taking section of our community. That's what helps them cope in later life. Adults have a duty to ease these delicate flowers into bloom, but not shield them from the unavoidable setbacks and disappointments life brings.

We all learn more from rejections - trust me, I speak from experience.

 

[PublicAffection]

I hate this "everyone has to like evryone" crap. It's a evolutionary step backwards.

 

[Guest]

The 'Prizes for Everyone' mentality, promoted by people - usually teachers - who have no understanding of childhood, does more damage to the kids it purports to 'protect' than to the feisty guys (like most of us here) who are always going to wait their time and then push.

In this world we all have to fight to be heard, recognized and have to take the rejections on the way. From Walmart shelfstacker to top cardiac surgeon, it is always a jostling path to learn from mistakes, do better next time and learn to compete.

Kids are the most competitive, tribal, risk-taking section of our community. That's what helps them cope in later life. Adults have a duty to ease these delicate flowers into bloom, but not shield them from the unavoidable setbacks and disappointments life brings.

We all learn more from rejections - trust me, I speak from experience.

Ah, it's not the teachers that have forced this, believe me.

It comes from parents.



(I've taught for 18 years. I have a pretty good understanding - and several college degrees - in children and childhood. I could tell you a great deal more about parental issues.)

 

[Liar]

Ok, some facts.

1. It's not a lawsuit. It's an ombudsman complaint, not quite as dramatic.

2. The one being investigated is not the kid, but the school. And not the "invite all" rule per se. The kid was was ignorant of those or didn't care, whatever. What the ombudsman is looking into is whether the school had the right to confiscate his invitiations, or if private letters are private, even though they were delivered on school grounds. We Swedes can be pretty vigilant about private integrity sometimes.

 

[Emperor_Nero]

How does that sit with the Freedom of Association rights?

No effect. School doesn't say you can't do it, you just can't do it at their location on their time.

It's similar to you telling one of your children's visiting friends that you don't care if that's what they do at home, you just can't do it here.

 

[Liar]

By the way, I did exactly the same thing as that kid when I was in third grade. Invited everyone but three specific guys, as publically as I could. The three who had made a habit out of beating me up and stealing my bike and/or backpack on a daily basis. So to hell with them. With music. And a parade.

 

[jomar]

The way I read it the birthday boy's father lodged the complaint because the teacher confiscated the invitations.

 

[Guest]

By the way, I did exactly the same thing as that kid when I was in third grade. Invited everyone but three specific guys, as publically as I could. The three who had made a habit out of beating me up and stealing my bike and/or backpack on a daily basis. So to hell with them. With music. And a parade.

When we found out the rule we made certain to mail invites out when the kids were very young.

We had what turned out to be an expensive party for daughter one year and didn't feel like inviting all 25 kids from her class, plus the Sunday school, kids from dance, whatever. Plus, like Liar said, she was not friends with some people in her class.

When kids got a little older they were able to manage handing them out at recess or before/after school - just to their friends.

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

The 'Prizes for Everyone' mentality, promoted by people - usually teachers - who have no understanding of childhood, does more damage to the kids it purports to 'protect' than to the feisty guys (like most of us here) who are always going to wait their time and then push.

In this world we all have to fight to be heard, recognized and have to take the rejections on the way. From Walmart shelfstacker to top cardiac surgeon, it is always a jostling path to learn from mistakes, do better next time and learn to compete.

Kids are the most competitive, tribal, risk-taking section of our community. That's what helps them cope in later life. Adults have a duty to ease these delicate flowers into bloom, but not shield them from the unavoidable setbacks and disappointments life brings.

We all learn more from rejections - trust me, I speak from experience.

Yeah!

Ah, it's not the teachers that have forced this, believe me.

It comes from parents.



(I've taught for 18 years. I have a pretty good understanding - and several college degrees - in children and childhood. I could tell you a great deal more about parental issues.)

to the parents, too!

Ok, some facts.

1. It's not a lawsuit. It's an ombudsman complaint, not quite as dramatic.

2. The one being investigated is not the kid, but the school. And not the "invite all" rule per se. The kid was was ignorant of those or didn't care, whatever. What the ombudsman is looking into is whether the school had the right to confiscate his invitiations, or if private letters are private, even though they were delivered on school grounds. We Swedes can be pretty vigilant about private integrity sometimes.

Stop bothering us with the facts, we're having some good rants. Go away.

 

[matriarch]

Perhaps I am reading this wrong, but it seemed to me from reading the story that it was the BOY'S father who took the school to court (actually, "Parliamentary Ombudsman") because the school confiscated his invitations because he did not include everyone.

They apparently, as Sarrahh's school does as well, do not allow invitation that are not inclusive.

I am not sure how I feel about the rule.... I appreciate the sentiment on the part of the school.

But I think the Boy's father has definitely over-reacted.....

-KC

Quote from the newsreport:

The boy's school says he has violated the children's rights and has complained to the Swedish Parliament.

The school, in Lund, southern Sweden, argues that if invitations are handed out on school premises then it must ensure there is no discrimination.

The boy's father has lodged a complaint with the parliamentary ombudsman.


See?

The school has reported the boy/family to parliament. The father is complaining to the ombudsman.......because of the school's action.

 

[keeblercrumb]

We still have those?

Not since 9/11.

-KC

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

Not since 9/11.

-KC

Oh, they began disappearing long before that. Think Boy Scouts and homosexuals, or private men's clubs and women.

</political threadjack>

<take it outside to a new thread if necessary>

 

[keeblercrumb]

Oh, they began disappearing long before that. Think Boy Scouts and homosexuals, or private men's clubs and women.

</political threadjack>

<take it outside to a new thread if necessary>

We could meet out behind the barn, I suppose....


But you are right.... I surrender... There were those public universities, restuarants, Army units, voting booths, etc.... where the "right to associate" was overtaken by other, more civil, rights.

<End Poliical Hijack>

-KC

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

We could meet out behind the barn, I suppose....


But you are right.... I surrender... There were those public universities, restuarants, Army units, voting booths, etc.... where the "right to associate" was overtaken by other, more civil, rights.

<End Poliical Hijack>

-KC

Oh, I have no problem with the public institutions, it's in the private facilities and organizations where the infringements can get very dicey indeed.

</really, truly, and this-time-I-mean-it ends political threadjack>

 

[Liar]

Quote from the newsreport:

The boy's school says he has violated the children's rights and has complained to the Swedish Parliament.

The school, in Lund, southern Sweden, argues that if invitations are handed out on school premises then it must ensure there is no discrimination.

The boy's father has lodged a complaint with the parliamentary ombudsman.


See?

The school has reported the boy/family to parliament. The father is complaining to the ombudsman.......because of the school's action.

That must be a misunderstanding. I'll write it down to shoddy translation and ignorance of how doe process looks over ehre. According to all Swedish articles I can kind on the issue, the school never complained to anyone (further, there's no function for complaining to "the Swedish parlament" other than for political desicions made in the Swedish parlament. So things are already factually wrong in that article).

They tried to enforce school policy in a way they see fit, by making the kid collect all the invitations and hand them over to the teachers.

And that's when the dad complained. Because he says they can't do that, they are private.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

Ah, it's not the teachers that have forced this, believe me.

It comes from parents.

(I've taught for 18 years. I have a pretty good understanding - and several college degrees - in children and childhood. I could tell you a great deal more about parental issues.)

Sarah, I've read you here for ages and I back your views and opinions totally.

Pushy parents are an increasing problem all teachers have to face, and I hate it. The absence of 'Team School' in favor of 'come on poppet - show them how it's done' is a sore across junior school.

However, in an increasingly competive and financially difficult world, parents can be partially excused for tearing their hair out at teachers who don't push all their charges to compete - athletically, technically or academically - to the best of their abilities.

If I ever have kids, I would want them to be challenged by their teachers from the earliest age to perform to their capabilities. Reading, tables, softball what you will - give it a go, suck it and see.

Whilst I hate 'pushy parent' syndrome, it is the weed that has grown up as a load of teachers have opted out of the 'hard love' approach.

 

[Guest]

Sarah, I've read you here for ages and I back your views and opinions totally.

Pushy parents are an increasing problem all teachers have to face, and I hate it. The absence of 'Team School' in favor of 'come on poppet - show them how it's done' is a sore across junior school.

However, in an increasingly competive and financially difficult world, parents can be partially excused for tearing their hair out at teachers who don't push all their charges to compete - athletically, technically or academically - to the best of their abilities.

If I ever have kids, I would want them to be challenged by their teachers from the earliest age to perform to their capabilities. Reading, tables, softball what you will - give it a go, suck it and see.

Whilst I hate 'pushy parent' syndrome, it is the weed that has grown up as a load of teachers have opted out of the 'hard love' approach.

You're a love.

Actually, I wasn't thinking "pushy parent" as much as the parent who thinks "my child can do no wrong" and "my child is entitled to special privileges because they're - (fill in the blank) rich, poor, an only child, one of many siblings, has ADHD, doesn't have ADHD, is gifted, ISN'T gifted, English is not their first language, they have learning disabilities, parents are divorced, divorcing, or should be . . . "

Teachers are getting enough push from the government and No Child Left Behind. If they don't get scores up their schools lose funding and they may even lose their jobs if the community reorganizes the school based on low scores.

That's what I've been seeing more of these days. Parents wanting special privileges for their special children. Gimme gimme gimme!

This, even though they send their kids to school without basic supplies. Even though they don't ensure that the child does homework at home (fewer and fewer schools are sending homework home at the younger grades - that's because it isn't getting returned). This, even though they never bother to attend a school function, including parent teacher conferences.

It makes you want to give up on the whole thing sometimes.

 

[keeblercrumb]

You're a love.

Actually, I wasn't thinking "pushy parent" as much as the parent who thinks "my child can do no wrong" and "my child is entitled to special privileges because they're - (fill in the blank) rich, poor, an only child, one of many siblings, has ADHD, doesn't have ADHD, is gifted, ISN'T gifted, English is not their first language, they have learning disabilities, parents are divorced, divorcing, or should be . . . "

Teachers are getting enough push from the government and No Child Left Behind. If they don't get scores up their schools lose funding and they may even lose their jobs if the community reorganizes the school based on low scores.

That's what I've been seeing more of these days. Parents wanting special privileges for their special children. Gimme gimme gimme!

This, even though they send their kids to school without basic supplies. Even though they don't ensure that the child does homework at home (fewer and fewer schools are sending homework home at the younger grades - that's because it isn't getting returned). This, even though they never bother to attend a school function, including parent teacher conferences.

It makes you want to give up on the whole thing sometimes.

Don't give up.

We need all the hero's we can find.



-KC