Bored with sex scenes

[stickygirl]

Semi-serious question, but helpful ideas welcome!

Can anyone offer me some ideas for writing sex scenes? Is this just me?

I can write scene descriptions and dialogue almost as fast as I can think it, then I get to the sex scene and hit a brick wall of cliche.

When I first started writing sex scenes I used to close my eyes, delve deep into my imagination and memory and find words for what I found. Now it's a string of repetition - strings of saliva, thin skin sheathing the frigging hardness beneath, waves fucking crashing in walls of pulping wet softness and it's all so tedious. Sheesh. Sex is such hard work

Maybe I'm writing in the wrong website? If so wither?

Wear a mask, be safe, Gimp masks optional if you're that way inclined

 

[jaF0]

This is why mine are brief and without detail.

It's all been done to death and beyond.

 

[KeithD]

How much effort are you putting into the buildup to the sex act and recovery from it? You could give more descriptive wordage to these and less to the actual act.

If it truly bores you, though, why don't you go off and do something else for a while? You haven't been sentenced to write sex scenes by a court.

 

[TxRad]

Sticky, have you tried the non-erotic category. I find it a change of pace at times. That and not having to worry about where to put the sex scenes and how much to use. It's also good practice for mainstream writing.

 

[NotWise]

Semi-serious question, but helpful ideas welcome!

Can anyone offer me some ideas for writing sex scenes? Is this just me?

I'd say to take your time in the sex scenes, and work at varying the description. Maybe even take a break and read how others do it. The scene I'm working on right now has taken most of my writing time this week, and it isn't done yet. I've combed through it from beginning to end several times, and it does get better.

I don't know how you're writing it now, but folding more dialog into the sex might help, too.

If the sex scenes are causing your eyes to glaze over, then maybe just reducing their number would help. I've done that a couple times when I just couldn't bring myself to write another grunt. In "Working for Mom" I deleted two sex scenes and rearranged the remaining scenes so I could keep the better ones. It took some work, but it made it possible for me to finish the story.

It still took seven months to write, with time off for bad behavior, but I finished it.

 

[SyleusSnow]

Diana Gabaldon (of "Outlander" fame) wrote a short, refreshing guide to sex scenes: I Give you my Body.

It's on Amazon and better places. The eBook is worth the investment, IMHO.

 

[HeyAll]

For me, the key is to make the sex scene part of the story. ie it's a job interview and the character has to perform a certain way, or for an important client, etc...

One of my main points in erotica is to always have a goal in mind for the main character.

 

[PoisonPen33]

For me, if the words/phrases are the same, change the situation. A declaration of live, a Tinder date turned hot, a run-of-the-mill Saturday night married encounter, all can use the same words but mean different things.

 

[SimonDoom]

I agree they are a challenge because of the problem of repetition. Here some things I try to avoid staleness:

1. Number 1, don't think of it as a sex scene. If your story is like most erotic stories, the big sex scene is the culmination of the story or at least of some major part of the story. Think of it as the culmination of an interaction or dialogue. Focus less on the mechanics than on the role the scene plays in the story and character arc. What HeyAll said above: give your character a goal, and the sex somehow fulfills that goal. Write the sex scene with that concept in mind.

2. Mix it up. Intermingle mechanical description, scene setting, describing how the character's senses are affected, dialogue between the characters, and description of their (or at least one character's) internal thoughts. Alternate on a paragraph by paragraph basis. This way you avoid having to focus so much on the anatomical and mechanical. And if you do this you'll find that you'll draw out your sex scene with less effort.

3. Try to think of one or two new metaphors or similes, if you can, to describe what's going on. It's better to describe activity than to describe a body part, because body part descriptions have been done to death, although they are unavoidable in a sex scene.

4. Get emotional. Really delve into what the characters are feeling. Chances are this is what the reader is looking for -- they want to experience, vicariously, what the character is really feeling, even if it's just raw animal hunger.

5. Focus on an unusual detail that will make the scene unique. It could be the setting, or a tattoo, or something somebody is wearing, or a type of cologne.

6. Do something in the scene that is new for you as an author, and new for the characters. Doesn't really matter what it is. Try to do something -- maybe just a small thing -- that's new. For instance, I wrote a story with a sex scene where the characters are pouring food over each other as they're having sex. That presented a whole host of new challenges that made writing the scene interesting for me. How could lobster bisque interact with the body in an interesting and erotic way? I was so focused on the interesting stuff involving food that writing the actual sex didn't seem tedious to me.

7. Put an obstacle in the scene -- something that has to be overcome. Maybe it's an awkward car back seat. Maybe it's people nearby. Maybe it's a bra that won't come off. Or a lack of birth protection. Obstacles create drama and make scenes interesting.

One thing I strongly recommend: don't short change your sex scene in an erotic story. I've done this a few times, and sometimes the readers have expressed some disappointment, and when I look over the scene I usually think they're right. If you've spent a couple thousand words building up to the sex scene you don't want to get it over in a couple hundred.

Chloe Tzang is an author who knows how to write long sex scenes that can be quite hot and sexy, and that really delve into what the lead character is thinking and feeling, and they are written in a way that the sex is a release and climax to the action and longings that have occurred before. Her style is unique and I don't think it can be imitated but the way she puts the sex scene together has a lot of the things I talked about above and it's worthing looking at her stories if you're wondering how to do this and need an example.

 

[stickygirl]

Thanks for your ideas, which suggests this is not an uncommon problem. I think honesty may be the best policy. I'm often conscious of what readers may expect instead of just writing for fun. Perhaps like real life, I should write it in when it feels natural but keep the focus on emotions and dialogue... maybe let the characters themselves give me the feedback and ideas I'm looking for

 

[PoisonPen33]

Perhaps like real life, I should write it in when it feels natural but keep the focus on emotions and dialogue... maybe let the characters themselves give me the feedback and ideas I'm looking for

I've been playing role-playing games for over 30 years and doing play-by-post forum games for nearly 20. A technique I've used for characters in both settings is to start with a very rough outline ("busty gamer girl," "broke grad student who has inherited a house," "short feral Canadian who keeps seeing his girl stolen by a one-eyed stiff") and let them unfold over the course of several pages.

It's a combination of my subconscious thoughts and the characters speaking to me via their actions. Once I'm done with the first draft (or several gaming sessions), I have a better handle on the character and can go back to edit the story to bring their personalities in line.

 

[MelissaBaby]

Semi-serious question, but helpful ideas welcome!

Can anyone offer me some ideas for writing sex scenes? Is this just me?

I can write scene descriptions and dialogue almost as fast as I can think it, then I get to the sex scene and hit a brick wall of cliche.

When I first started writing sex scenes I used to close my eyes, delve deep into my imagination and memory and find words for what I found. Now it's a string of repetition - strings of saliva, thin skin sheathing the frigging hardness beneath, waves fucking crashing in walls of pulping wet softness and it's all so tedious. Sheesh. Sex is such hard work

Maybe I'm writing in the wrong website? If so wither?

Wear a mask, be safe, Gimp masks optional if you're that way inclined

I often feel the same wya, and wish I could use go

[INSERT FUCK HERE]

and move on. But I keep poking away (pun intended) at finding something different about it, the setting or the circumstances, and I usually can find a way to make it more interesting to write. I had a lot of fun with the sex scenes at the drive in in my Summer Lovin' story.

 

[jack30341]

I agree with what has been posted before.

Just a bit I would add has to do with characters and with emotion. Both of these have already been referenced.

After you get a good feel for the characters, then I think how the sex is for those particular characters is going to come through.

Adding to that, I agree that it helps a lot if you focus in on the emotions involved, and try to genuinely show those. Often, there are multiple emotions involved all at once, and this conflict can really help a scene stand out.

Great thread.

 

[KeithD]

I guess it's a matter of perspective. I only write erotica to be able to go beyond the "and then the door closed as they moved toward the bed" where I had to stop the action in writing mainstream for decades. Graphic sex is the only reason I'm writing erotica. When I don't feel like doing a sex scene, I just write it for the mainstream.

 

[UnpublishedEroticaWriter]

Semi-serious question, but helpful ideas welcome!

Can anyone offer me some ideas for writing sex scenes? Is this just me?

I can write scene descriptions and dialogue almost as fast as I can think it, then I get to the sex scene and hit a brick wall of cliche.

When I first started writing sex scenes I used to close my eyes, delve deep into my imagination and memory and find words for what I found. Now it's a string of repetition - strings of saliva, thin skin sheathing the frigging hardness beneath, waves fucking crashing in walls of pulping wet softness and it's all so tedious. Sheesh. Sex is such hard work

Maybe I'm writing in the wrong website? If so wither?

Wear a mask, be safe, Gimp masks optional if you're that way inclined

I believe you don't need graphic sex scenes for it to be erotic. I sometimes gloss over some sex scenes entirely because I want my characters to be the center of the story. With their personality, wit, humor, intelligence, temptations, seduction, inventiveness, etc.

 

[Brutal_One]

I think at times you have to write about the passion, the intensity, the need that can be generated in a hot and steamy sex session. Of course it can be tender, loving and gentle but there is a prime desire and need for sex, good thing too I guess for the species. Of course it can be cruel, bitter and twisted but you don’t really want to go looking for that, either in your stories or elsewhere.

Just ‘feel it’ as I am sure you all can ..... then put pen to paper.

Brutal One

 

[stickygirl]

I often feel the same wya, and wish I could use go

[INSERT FUCK HERE]

and move on. But I keep poking away (pun intended) at finding something different about it, the setting or the circumstances, and I usually can find a way to make it more interesting to write. I had a lot of fun with the sex scenes at the drive in in my Summer Lovin' story.

Maybe instead of the [INSERT THING HERE] I could add a link to someone else's story #232 change names as appropriate and come back when you're done!

I like Simon's list - there were some god ideas there - thanks mate!

I wrote something recently where the characters were very alive for me and the mechanics became almost incidental. I had fun and they had fun. We don't want to short change readers, but often it's the build up that's more important - like foreplay.

The thought that springs to mind as an example, is the hair-cutting scene in the Bourne Identity, where he's washing her hair over a bath, they have to step past each other and she kisses him. The camera pans away, with her in a singlet and only he has his shirt off. I'm getting fluffy thinking about it now It's all suggestion, which is easier in film of course.... I can't think of a written example because my head's still fluffy.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Circle in on them slowly. If you're not ready to write the sex scene it means your characters aren't ready to get it on yet. In a review of one of my typical slow burn, taking forever, stories, AwkwardMD referred to it as lots of walking about. I called it, getting to know each other, slowly.

Why rush? Then it's over, and then what do they do? Go to a gallery, of course, where the waiting people are .

 

[jaF0]

One thing that always annoyed me with adult films were the long, drawn out sex scenes. They walk into a room and in two second they're humping which lasts 45 minutes, then two other people appear on screen in another setting and start humping with no rhyme or reason. I've read (or should I say, started to read) a few stories here like that.

 

[ChloeTzang]

Semi-serious question, but helpful ideas welcome!

Can anyone offer me some ideas for writing sex scenes? Is this just me?

I can write scene descriptions and dialogue almost as fast as I can think it, then I get to the sex scene and hit a brick wall of cliche.

When I first started writing sex scenes I used to close my eyes, delve deep into my imagination and memory and find words for what I found. Now it's a string of repetition - strings of saliva, thin skin sheathing the frigging hardness beneath, waves fucking crashing in walls of pulping wet softness and it's all so tedious. Sheesh. Sex is such hard work

Maybe I'm writing in the wrong website? If so wither?

Wear a mask, be safe, Gimp masks optional if you're that way inclined

The physical slipping and sliding and whatever is only a small part of it. The real erotica is what’s going on in their minds. What are they thinking? Love? Guilt? Going over the shopping list? All that mind stuff. The physical works around that or into that. My 2 cents worth.

 

[lovecraft68]

Sex was the focus when I first started writing, everything had to get to the sex and it was the main event.

As time moved on I became more enamored with the story and build up, but then the sex was even hotter, the build up teased me as well as the readers.

Move forward and the story is far more interesting and the sex becoming "Okay, guess they have to fuck now."

My sex scenes used to flow and be done in one sitting....now I blaze through the story parts and real feel the story...the sex has become a speed bump.

Maybe it gets to where there's only so many positions, sounds, places etc and no matter how hard you try it feels formulaic.

When I first began writing erotic horror novels I found that because there is far more room there for character and story and sex isn't needed as much I found myself enjoying the sex scenes again

But in my 'smut' I wouldn't say bored, but they feel forced sometimes.

My only advice would be to write less sex driven stories for awhile and see if it comes back.

 

[stickygirl]

It seems you could use some of your own advise here .

I must admit, I still find it difficult to apply.

This is my life - always ready to offer other people good advice, but falling over my own feet! Ha - I suppose this is a case of talking the talk then 'Oh shit - what I do here?!'

 

[gunhilltrain]

Semi-serious question, but helpful ideas welcome!

Can anyone offer me some ideas for writing sex scenes? Is this just me?

I can write scene descriptions and dialogue almost as fast as I can think it, then I get to the sex scene and hit a brick wall of cliche.

When I first started writing sex scenes I used to close my eyes, delve deep into my imagination and memory and find words for what I found. Now it's a string of repetition - strings of saliva, thin skin sheathing the frigging hardness beneath, waves fucking crashing in walls of pulping wet softness and it's all so tedious. Sheesh. Sex is such hard work

Maybe I'm writing in the wrong website? If so wither?

Wear a mask, be safe, Gimp masks optional if you're that way inclined

It looks like you might really be having a problem, because your submissions list doesn't show any new stories in more than four years. Did you try to get back to it and found you couldn't do it?

 

[stickygirl]

It looks like you might really be having a problem, because your submissions list doesn't show any new stories in more than four years. Did you try to get back to it and found you couldn't do it?

I'm flattered that you checked.
Ummm... watch this space, the ink's still wet

I had reached a point in a chapter where I had a sudden feeling of deja vu. I went for a walk to mull it over and found myself feeling as though I had a adjectival mountain to climb. Now I'm thinking "Stuff it. I'll do what I want." which is essentially the advice I've been given here.

Tomorrow will be jam-making and sex - but not at the same time.

 

[AlexBailey]

Story idea.

Sated but unsatisfied, our hero finds little interest in erotic couplings yet longs for platonic intamacy, sadly losing the interest of beloved friends who long for more. Our hero is distraught by the loss, and focuses on worthwhile causes and community, while reflecting on their own sexual disinterest and how it contributes to social isolation. Questions; is there psychological benefit from physical interaction? Was there ever? Is there good reason to peruse the act of intimacy if it is only for the benefit of the platonic relationship? No...definitely not. not until.....?

Lol. What could warm things up?





Or, someone could start a thread of free cut-and-paste sex scenes.