Bomb ppman!

[REDWAVE]

My fellow Americans, I have here in my hands conclusive proof (but I can't show it to you, 'cause then I'd have to kill ya) that ppman is trying to develop liquors of mass inebriation. He's already gotten his hands on weapons grade alcohol! Potniks may decry this threat, but intoxication experts say ppman could develop liquors of mass inebriation in as little as three months.

My fellow Americans, we already know ppman is not to be trusted around booze. Is there any doubt that if this madman succeeds in developing liquors of mass inebriation, he will use them? We cannot afford to sit around idly and wait for this dire threat to materialize. We must act now!

Let's bomb London before it's too late!

 

[Bob_Bytchin]

Well, London is too historical to bomb, and is a wonderful place to visit. Instead, lets just bomb every cardboard box on the Thames that's big enough for someone to live in. We're sure to get him then.

 

[REDWAVE]

Livin' large!

Damn-- ppman has his own cardboard box? I thought he shared one with ten other people!

 

[LovetoGiveRoses]

Well, London is too historical to bomb, and is a wonderful place to visit. Instead, lets just bomb every cardboard box on the Thames that's big enough for someone to live in. We're sure to get him then.

You'd have to search the riverside gutters too, depending on the time of the day of course. I'll bet he lives in the grass by the Egyptian Obilisk.

 

[bluespoke]

Bomb London if you please but don't expect to hit p_p_man.

He lives outside London in the borough of............................... ah well, maybe best not to tell you!

 

[REDWAVE]

Good point, bluespoke

Also, I hear ppman moves around a lot and never passes out in the same pub twice. So I guess we'll have to bomb the entire U.K. to be sure of getting him.

 

[bluespoke]

Re: Good point, bluespoke

Also, I hear ppman moves around a lot and never passes out in the same pub twice. So I guess we'll have to bomb the entire U.K. to be sure of getting him.

That's OK. Given that a lot of people in the US thinks the UK is where Greenland is, I think we're pretty safe!

 

[chromefreak]

Re: Re: Good point, bluespoke

That's OK. Given that a lot of people in the US thinks the UK is where Greenland is, I think we're pretty safe!

NO NO NO! We confuse it with ICELAND!

And what's wrong with liquors of mass inebriation? Or living in a box in Waterloo Station?

 

[REDWAVE]

Greenland? Iceland?

Hey, our bombs are all smart. It's just our leaders who are stupid.

 

[bluespoke]

Re: Greenland? Iceland?

Hey, our bombs are all smart. It's just our leaders who are stupid.

Your bombs may be smart but the dumb fuck who programmes is is likely to bomb France.

Hey there's something good in everything!

 

[chromefreak]

Re: Re: Greenland? Iceland?

Your bombs may be smart but the dumb fuck who programmes is is likely to bomb France.

Hey there's something good in everything!

But the damage is already done. They invented the Citroen 2CV decades ago.

 

[bluespoke]

Re: Re: Re: Greenland? Iceland?

But the damage is already done. They invented the Citroen 2CV decades ago.

But we can limit the spread of their old fashioned wine leaving the way clear for new world wines (US, Australia and NZ).

 

[Bob_Bytchin]

If everyone in France suddenly vanished, do you know what we'd have? Fresh air for a change.

 

[bluespoke]

If everyone in France suddenly vanished, do you know what we'd have? Fresh air for a change.

And lots of grapes for decent wine (have I mentioned my live for the grape?).

 

[REDWAVE]

Liquor inspectors

Ppman has repeatedly defied UP (United Pubowners) resolutions. He keeps saying he'll allow inspectors into his liquor cabinet, but then he reneges at the last moment. I say we go in and liberate the liquor cabinet by force.

Besides, I hear he's got some really good stuff locked up in there . . .

 

[p_p_man]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Greenland? Iceland?

But we can limit the spread of their old fashioned wine leaving the way clear for new world wines (US, Australia and NZ).

US? Don't you mean Californian?

And I see you missed out that fine wine growing country South Africa...

As I have constantly declared I will gladly let the United Pubowners' team of inspectors visit my stocks of booze but I must retain the right to tell them where they can go and when.

I am perfectly open handed in this. It is the VAOM (Victuallars Association of America) who are demanding extreme action.

I am fully convinced it has something to do with the upcoming elections and Bush's preference for Pretzels.

Though I haven't completely worked out the connection yet...



ppman

 

[REDWAVE]

No, unconditional!

Just more evasions and doubletalk from the "Boozer of Billingsgate." I insist, liquor inspections must be absolutely unconditional, and I must get first dibs at any booze confiscated, I mean liberated.