Body Language

[Recidiva]

RECIDIVA

I can make you think whatever I want you to think about me. I have my own agenda. Like...I enjoy sparring with people. People wont spar with you when you kiss their ass. Sparring helps me sharpen my skills. And if you hate me enough, you spar better.

My genius for pissing people off also works well for getting rid of clingy women. Theyre not depressed or crazy when I go. Theyre full of piss & vinegar about my red herrings. And they use that energy to move on rather than fret and cry.

One of the resident shitheads here called me a 'humiliation whore.' It's impossible to humiliate me....because everything is an option (tool) in my bag of tricks. I'm equally at home in the mire or the ivory tower.

Oh, I spar with my husband all the time. He's much better at it.

I'm not pissed, I'm amused. I feel like I'm dealing with a little kid.

The bit about the humiliation whore is that in accomplishing your goal of getting what you want, you look like an idiot.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

LESBIAPHRODITE

Well, we all manipulate in some form or fashion. Perfume and cosmetics manipulate. Boyshorts manipulate. Courtesy manipulates.

A lot of manipulations we dont mind.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

RECIDIVA

I dont care that I look like an idiot. It can be disarming. Superiority exposes people.

Most of the very wealthy people I've known looked like bums. Their dress and mannerisms deceived people into acting how they really were. Its amusing to see how awful people treat others when they think the person is poor.

 

[Recidiva]

RECIDIVA

I dont care that I look like an idiot. It can be disarming. Superiority exposes people.

Most of the very wealthy people I've known looked like bums. Their dress and mannerisms deceived people into acting how they really were. Its amusing to see how awful people treat others when they think the person is poor.

Yes, yes, you are stalked on myspace and know lots of rich people and you're extra special important in your DOM UNDEROOS.

I get it.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

RECIDIVA

I wish I had time to stay and spar with you, but I need to check mail and fill the car with gas. Toodles.

 

[Stella_Omega]

rgraham

I'm a sociopath. I really am. It doesnt appear on any tests, and my personal history is almost flawless. I have no criminal history. My credit is excellent. And unless youre my target, you can trust your life or your money or your daughter to my tender mercies. I'm not greedy. And I'm very disciplined.

I use consistency as a tool to manipulate you. You trust me because I'm always honest and trustworthy. ALMOST. Ninety-nine percent of the time. When I strike you never suspect it was me.

I'm a patient predator.

Aren't you just romancing yourself to bits!

The moment you said, some place, "I never lie" I knew you were not worth trusting in any way. A sure-fire indicator.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

STELLA

What! You want some attention, too?

 

[Stella_Omega]

That was predictable.

Naw, you can keep it-- you need all your attention, much more than anybody else possibly could.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

STELLA

That makes two of us who are liars. Anyone else?

 

[Guest]

I studied body language pretty seriously for a while when I was both single, and working in a sales job where I dealt with people face to face.

It has huge advantages for both selling, and getting laid (which is selling one's self).

I think successful people, rather that is success at seduction or just in normal people-to-people skills, either conciously or unconciously are adept at body language.

I strongly suggest reading about it, or taking a course on it if you can find it.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

TED-E-BARE

I did. It's useless for most purposes. At best it's a measure of rapport.

 

[Guest]

TED-E-BARE

I did. It's useless for most purposes. At best it's a measure of rapport.

Will it be a shock to you, that I strongly disagree?

It worked for me. It didn't work for you.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

TED-E-BARE

It's a free country. You can believe in Santa and the Tooth Fairy and Hillary-Care or anything.

 

[Guest]

TED-E-BARE

It's a free country. You can believe in Santa and the Tooth Fairy and Hillary-Care or anything.

Ah, you are a provacateur...go see Amicus...I have grown up things to do.

Bye now.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Okay. TO EVERYONE ELSE.

I cant find any real scholastic research about kinesics. That is, nothing that will answer the question: IS BODY LANGUAGE RELIABLE AND VALID EXPRESSION. The few opinions I found expressed concerns that kinesics is firmly in the grips of pop-psychologists, and entirely anecdotal.

 

[gauchecritic]

I too studied body language for a period and was quite amazed that all the things I learned, the girlies already knew and used. (albeit unconsciously)

All the examples I studied became apparent in every single instance of RL. But I found that it's very much like economics, it's there to be read not controlled. Controlled body language is obvious to spot because people just aren't that disciplined.

Like Ted said, it's a very useful interviewing tool and indicator. (A very broad tool but helpful in a situational way like not interviewing across a desk or unfolding your arms when you realise that you have become resistant to some one else)

Now that I think about it I must have remembered more than I thought because I tend to use certain explained actions when dealing with 'service users' in my job, without giving them any thought.

If nothing else, always remember the female refrain: "It's not what you said, it's the way that you said it." and they're not just talking about tone of voice.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

When I think of the education I could have had here, for free, instead of all those years and money I wasted on grad school; I tell you, I'm never gonna smile again.

 

[gauchecritic]

Okay. TO EVERYONE ELSE.

I cant find any real scholastic research about kinesics. That is, nothing that will answer the question: IS BODY LANGUAGE RELIABLE AND VALID EXPRESSION. The few opinions I found expressed concerns that kinesics is firmly in the grips of pop-psychologists, and entirely anecdotal.

So.... You can't find any books that say it doesn't work but you can find loads of books that extol its usefulness?
Or am I reading too much into what you said?

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

What I said was none of the scholastic research confirms that body language is a valid or reliable means of expression.

Like...if I say "Hello, how are you?" 95% of the time you can take it to the bank that I expressed a salutory greeting.

But if my nipples are erect or I have a boner or I fart & giggle, you have no level of confidence that any of it means anything.

 

[TheeGoatPig]

So.... You can't find any books that say it doesn't work but you can find loads of books that extol its usefulness?
Or am I reading too much into what you said?

He's trolling for an argument, so it really doesn't matter what he says.

 

[lesbiaphrodite]

Language itself is a poor means of communication, so I think any other forms of expression help us out. I place a great deal more stock in the way people behave, the way they use their bodies, eyes, expressions than I do in what they say.

Mime is a wonderful example of the ways that the body tells stories without any use of language at all. Marcel Marceau, may he rest in peace, expressed more in silence than most people express with their voice boxes.

Similarly, ballet uses the body to express feelings and thoughts without any utterance.

Also, I often turn off the sound when watching great films and can follow the entire story and the undercurrents without any need for hearing the words.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Ah! THREAD-NANNY is here to save you. Just in time, too.

 

[TheeGoatPig]

Also, I often turn off the sound when watching great films and can follow the entire story and the undercurrents without any need for hearing the words.

I watch my Kung Fu movies like that, in their original Chinese track. Without understanding more than a handful of words, I can still understand what is going on with the movie.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Yes, Lizzie Borden and her axe is another good example.

 

[lesbiaphrodite]

More subtle examples abound:

Malena (Italian film starring Monica Bellucci w/ very limited dialogue)

The Piano Teacher (French film starring Isabelle Huppert)

Blue Velvet

La Ceremonie

Baise-Moi

Sense & Sensibility

Wuthering Heights

Cache