Body image and cams

[minx1]

Hey everyone

I decided to go ahead and start this thread after contributing to another thread and seeing from other posts that I don't think i am alone.
I'm wondering if there are others out there who have the same concerns as me or who have previously had them and managed to overcome them.

I am in a LDR with my Master, we are very happy and talk daily either on MSN, the phone or via email.
This is probably going to sound slightly ridiculous but hey ho! I regularly appear on cam for him, many times sexually but often so he can just see my face as we talk. The thing is I have never appeared to him fully...when we started our relationship going on cam was a real limit of mine for a couple of reasons, but things have moved on and now l enjoy it immensely. Obviously He would like to see me all in one go so to speak! but He has never pushed me and wants to wait until I am happy to show Him. I have taked to Him about my insecurities and He has told me He loves me and sees only good things....and I know He thinks I am lovely.

I really want Him to see me as a whole, my face and my body but I am so self conscious about my body....it stops me. Today is shining example of how I have planned to surprise Him, but as I was setting up the cam and caught sight of myself its made back out at the last moment.

To sum up....I really want to appear to Him, but I am overly critical of my body. When I am having a sensible moment I know I am not hideous, but I am still overly conscious about my imperfections....I always have been. I think could do with losing a bit of weight for example

Has anyone else felt this? If you did but managed to overcome it please tell me how.....tips, if there are tips for this are more than welcome!

Comments from Dom/mes appreciated too, particularly if they are in a relationship with a sub who has felt this way.

 

[Chicklet]

it's very hard for me to get a flattering angle to show off my whole body with my cam. I have it set up so that it'll just show my face and part of my shoulders, and from an angle that makes me look slimmer than I might look at other angles. So I completely understand. Nothing makes me more squeamish than seeing myself in an unattractive position and angle.

What I have to do is minimize the webcam window, so I *can't* see it. I have to put it out of my mind and sight, and not worry about it...

The first time I got brave enough to do this for my current guy, he shocked me later by admitting that he'd taken a bunch of pictures while I was 'performing' on cam for him... I was totally horrified, but then when I went to visit him, I saw the pictures, and they were actually really good! And they came from me on cam! When I thought I looked awful!

Good luck. It's hard.

 

[minx1]

it's very hard for me to get a flattering angle to show off my whole body with my cam. I have it set up so that it'll just show my face and part of my shoulders, and from an angle that makes me look slimmer than I might look at other angles. So I completely understand. Nothing makes me more squeamish than seeing myself in an unattractive position and angle.

What I have to do is minimize the webcam window, so I *can't* see it. I have to put it out of my mind and sight, and not worry about it...

The first time I got brave enough to do this for my current guy, he shocked me later by admitting that he'd taken a bunch of pictures while I was 'performing' on cam for him... I was totally horrified, but then when I went to visit him, I saw the pictures, and they were actually really good! And they came from me on cam! When I thought I looked awful!

Good luck. It's hard.

Thanks Chicklet

I actually have mine at the same angle usually....from my shoulders up I'm ok *laugh*

Thats a good idea with the webcam window though, because I find it really distracting and seem to spend most of my time looking at it to make sure I look ok!

 

[Stegral]

I have about 15 extra pounds all in one area...
old pregnancy fat that just won't go away.
I find if I really truely want to "pose" I look best:
1) standing straight up. hands on head or "reaching"(like a stretch)
2) laying on my side, one knee bent.
3) stretched a bit if leaning against a wall.
4) sitting in my chair, spine straight, evening out everything

if on cam... remember POSTURE !!!
slouching/slumping will make you looks smaller, plumper & pronounce the not so nice stuff.
Sit high & pretty !! make sure you are clean, groomed & show off what you want Him to see

 

[minx1]

I have about 15 extra pounds all in one area...
old pregnancy fat that just won't go away.
I find if I really truely want to "pose" I look best:
1) standing straight up. hands on head or "reaching"(like a stretch)
2) laying on my side, one knee bent.
3) stretched a bit if leaning against a wall.
4) sitting in my chair, spine straight, evening out everything

if on cam... remember POSTURE !!!
slouching/slumping will make you looks smaller, plumper & pronounce the not so nice stuff.
Sit high & pretty !! make sure you are clean, groomed & show off what you want Him to see

Again Stegral you may have a point. I think where my computer is located and the 'comfy' chair I sit in may not help matters too much and make me slouch.

 

[hotidhoguy]

Body Image

Hi I used to cam alot also and was very shy at first. What I did was set up the cam so people viewing saw my whole room with me walking around in the room. It was my bedroom so I was dressed and undressed or getting dressed or undressed. I got used to being watched and it was alot of fun too. At first I'd only let females watch but after a while I didn't care who was watching. It was awesomely fun. Then when I got to chattin with just a few ladies it was easier for me to let them see all of me. Any help?

 

[Kailey_86]

i was very insecure about my body, especially when i was going to see my ex for the first time since we hadn't seen each other on a cam or anything. He told me that i was his property and even though i felt insecure about myself, it wasn't my opinion that mattered. That sort of helped. The other thing that helped was just to not think about what i was doing or how i looked at the time. Just do it and it will all be over with. After you have done it the first time, it will be much easier. You will see that you don't look as bad as you think you do. He won't react in a negative way which will just solidify this fact. You will feel much better after you do, i think.

 

[minx1]

Hi I used to cam alot also and was very shy at first. What I did was set up the cam so people viewing saw my whole room with me walking around in the room. It was my bedroom so I was dressed and undressed or getting dressed or undressed. I got used to being watched and it was alot of fun too. At first I'd only let females watch but after a while I didn't care who was watching. It was awesomely fun. Then when I got to chattin with just a few ladies it was easier for me to let them see all of me. Any help?

*grin* yes thanks hoti! My cams in my dining room and I was trying to work out how to get the whole of me on anyway..without having to stand in the kitchen lol...but it might be a good option for me to kinda walk in and out of shot, take some of the focus off me....actually I could run in and outa shot!

 

[minx1]

i was very insecure about my body, especially when i was going to see my ex for the first time since we hadn't seen each other on a cam or anything. He told me that i was his property and even though i felt insecure about myself, it wasn't my opinion that mattered. That sort of helped. The other thing that helped was just to not think about what i was doing or how i looked at the time. Just do it and it will all be over with. After you have done it the first time, it will be much easier. You will see that you don't look as bad as you think you do. He won't react in a negative way which will just solidify this fact. You will feel much better after you do, i think.

Yeah I think you are right Kailey, I'm just building it up in my mind possibly into something worse than it is. Its just that when it actually came down to it the other day, I couldn't do it..though I really really wanted to. I caught sight of myself and it made me feel so unsexy!
The daft thing is I know he really thinks I am lovely and it would be the fact that I showed myself to him, not what I look like that he would take most pleasure from

 

[Stegral]

this pic was taken AT MY REQUEST after a very intense play session...

He had to go FIND someone with a camera (camphone actually) because He knows pics are a hard limit for me.

I am a big girl.... but when stretched out on the "X" it evens out very well

my "tree": click here

 

[minx1]

this pic was taken AT MY REQUEST after a very intense play session...

He had to go FIND someone with a camera (camphone actually) because He knows pics are a hard limit for me.

I am a big girl.... but when stretched out on the "X" it evens out very well

my "tree": click here

Great pic Stegral, thanks and you look great too

 

[hotidhoguy]

Body Image

Hi Minx
yea you might want to try the whole room camming thing, its different but alot of fun. I had the yahoo set so anyone could view and most of the time I had no idea who was watching but I was naked maybe about half the time. People could watch me shower if I had the cam pointed that way and then drying off and stuff too. I don't kow what the max is for yahoo on viewing cams but I think once there was over 20 viewers and often over 10. Its one way to get used to your body being seen. I had some ladies who wanted me to do more and sometimes I was in the mood for play and I'd warn the rest what was going to happen, some stayed and some left. It was a blast!

 

[minx1]

Hi Minx
yea you might want to try the whole room camming thing, its different but alot of fun. I had the yahoo set so anyone could view and most of the time I had no idea who was watching but I was naked maybe about half the time. People could watch me shower if I had the cam pointed that way and then drying off and stuff too. I don't kow what the max is for yahoo on viewing cams but I think once there was over 20 viewers and often over 10. Its one way to get used to your body being seen. I had some ladies who wanted me to do more and sometimes I was in the mood for play and I'd warn the rest what was going to happen, some stayed and some left. It was a blast!

*giggles* good on yer hoti!

I think I'm a little way off showing myself to 20...I have enough problems with one! Have you always been a natural exhibitionist...apart from the shyness I mean? Are you confident about your body..or do you just not care what others think?

 

[hotidhoguy]

Body Image

I am shy face to face and talking to people, but I have always been pretty comfortable with my body. We have a public clothing optional beach here which I have gone to since I was about 12. I was mainly shy about being on cam and the very intimate situations that can happen there, I think mainly because people are coming into your home. I started going nude at the beach at an early age and alot of others did too so I got used to that part but not being hard or masturbating in front of a cam type of thing, understand or did I confuse you?

 

[minx1]

I am shy face to face and talking to people, but I have always been pretty comfortable with my body. We have a public clothing optional beach here which I have gone to since I was about 12. I was mainly shy about being on cam and the very intimate situations that can happen there, I think mainly because people are coming into your home. I started going nude at the beach at an early age and alot of others did too so I got used to that part but not being hard or masturbating in front of a cam type of thing, understand or did I confuse you?

No I understand completely. For all my insecurities I too have gone on nudist beaches in my time and thoroughly enjoy that feeling of utter freedom.
Perhaps with me its the whole thing about me wanting to please my Master and for him not to be disappointed with how I look, that makes me concentrate on my imperfections.

 

[the captians wench]

Okay, since I met my master on my pic thread I can't relate exactly but know I do know your pain. *giggles*

Durring the last few months of my marriage I went thru a rollercoaster of emotions. I was feeling rejected by my husband, and so that played heavily on my insecurities and my own body image issues. One the same token, I was also loosing some weight (by then only like 10-15lbs but since I was well over 350 I noticed every one). So I started taking pics, starting out small, a chest shot with me holding my breasts, or with my hands above my head, or just my back (my hair was long enough then to hide my little fat rolls and I always thought that I had a nice ass). And I used them as avs (on another account I use) I got a lot of positive feedback, and would share the pics full scale with certian people.

When my ex and I split, I started my own thread, where I met Jounar. And he further built my confidence, well him and my steady weightloss. (he notices every lb lost as well. ) Now I think I have the opposite problem. I have such high self image that I think my mirror and cam are lieing to me. And Jounar just makes me feel that's all the more true.

My best advice, take a deep breath, turn on the cam, close your eyes, stand up and back up to where you can fully be seen. I'm sure once you get his reaction your nerves will calm.

 

[minx1]

Now I think I have the opposite problem. I have such high self image that I think my mirror and cam are lieing to me. And Jounar just makes me feel that's all the more true.
My best advice, take a deep breath, turn on the cam, close your eyes, stand up and back up to where you can fully be seen. I'm sure once you get his reaction your nerves will calm.

Just brilliant wenchy, brilliant

 

[hotidhoguy]

Body Image

From the pic you have in your profile you're a very beautiful lady and it sounds like he is taken by you, if he is worth 2 bits he will love every inch of you and I have found most people are tens times harder on themselves than they need to be. I am sure you will make him want you all the more!

 

[minx1]

From the pic you have in your profile you're a very beautiful lady and it sounds like he is taken by you, if he is worth 2 bits he will love every inch of you and I have found most people are tens times harder on themselves than they need to be. I am sure you will make him want you all the more!

Damn I forgot that pic was still there Hoti! *giggle* I only stuck it up temporarily! but thankyou for your comments I really appreciate them

I agree with you about us being hard on ourselves than we need to be, I know I really am

 

[catalina_francisco]

The way I got over worrying so much about what someone thought about how I looked was to remember if they didn't like me the way I was, they weren't really interested in me, only an image they wanted me to fulfil, and so to find out sooner was way better than later after wasting a lot of time on them. Perhaps that will help.

Catalina

 

[myinnerslut]

i have some serious body image issues. i have a rather large history of eating disorders which have left thier emotional scars. becuase of that being on camera was once a huge problem for me. even now, i sometimes hate how i look on it. my first webcam A got for me as part of a birthday gift. i was scared to use it at first, but focused on how happy he was to be able to see me. gradually things prgressed from me sitting in a chair in a t-shirt and jeans to where we are now (we have done the closest thing to a full out scene possible over a camera). every once in a while i still freeze up, and body image is still and probably always will be a big issue for me, but A's reaction helped me get over the worst of my fears and made me more comfortable.

 

[minx1]

The way I got over worrying so much about what someone thought about how I looked was to remember if they didn't like me the way I was, they weren't really interested in me, only an image they wanted me to fulfil, and so to find out sooner was way better than later after wasting a lot of time on them. Perhaps that will help.

Catalina

Yeah I know what you mean Catalina and you are completely right of course. Its a funny predicament to be in because as I say deep down I know he will love me *smile*. And because of that I get soooo very close sometimes.
Its my own lack of confidence that ultimately stops me

 

[hotidhoguy]

Body Image

Hi Minx well I'd say just do it, lol. Maybe make it interesting and just let him see you around the house some and take a bit of clothes off now and then. I was wondering he has a cam too right? maybe as you do your thing you can keep an eye out on what he's doing and if he starts to play maybe it will give you more confidence??? maybe??

 

[minx1]

i have some serious body image issues. i have a rather large history of eating disorders which have left thier emotional scars. becuase of that being on camera was once a huge problem for me. even now, i sometimes hate how i look on it. my first webcam A got for me as part of a birthday gift. i was scared to use it at first, but focused on how happy he was to be able to see me. gradually things prgressed from me sitting in a chair in a t-shirt and jeans to where we are now (we have done the closest thing to a full out scene possible over a camera). every once in a while i still freeze up, and body image is still and probably always will be a big issue for me, but A's reaction helped me get over the worst of my fears and made me more comfortable.

God that must have been so hard for you *hugs*

Its really good A has offered you that support and that together, you are making headway mis.

I have to say my Master has been completely lovely with me regarding my fears over being on cam. Even initially it was a really big deal for me, but we took our time and I have to say I have never ever felt pressurised. He would hate it if I did, as most of the enjoyment for him is that I want to show him.

He told me that we will go at a pace I am comfortable with and that that makes it even more precious when I do appear for him *soft smile* aaaww love him!

 

[minx1]

Hi Minx well I'd say just do it, lol. Maybe make it interesting and just let him see you around the house some and take a bit of clothes off now and then. I was wondering he has a cam too right? maybe as you do your thing you can keep an eye out on what he's doing and if he starts to play maybe it will give you more confidence??? maybe??

Thats a good idea hoti, thanks You know the other week I did a 'sexy' dance for him on vid for him as a pressie...but somehow that was fine as I had some clothes on...fair enough some of my clothes were stockings lol, but it still was no wherenear s scarey as being completely naked!