BJ's - what am I doing wrong?

[whatzinaname]

FIrst post, so excuse any idiotic newbie stuff...

I've been married to my DH for 12 years and most of those 12 years, giving him a blow job was like a once a year occurance. So, my experience here is somewhat limited. But, he's my man, I love him and have been trying to spice things up a bit, and I'm not as wigged out by this as I used to be, so he's had more in the past month than he has in our entire marriage. (do blushes show on the screen?) Lest he sound like a jerk, he is *not* complaining. Mostly he is wondering what happened to his wife and who is this in his bed!

Okay, here's the deal, I got a blister/cut inside my lower lip the other night and I'm not sure what I did wrong that this happened. I'm not exactly thrilled on the swallowing (you could squirt chocolate at my throat and I'd gag, so it's not about the semen) so I got him some flavored condoms. I don't know if it was just that particular night, but friction was an issue. I have read the Blank Manual posts, but I still don't know what I can do to avoid this happening again, because as it is, it's gonna be a couple more days before my lip can handle a repeat.

 

[ShyNymph]

FIrst post, so excuse any idiotic newbie stuff...

I've been married to my DH for 12 years and most of those 12 years, giving him a blow job was like a once a year occurance. So, my experience here is somewhat limited. But, he's my man, I love him and have been trying to spice things up a bit, and I'm not as wigged out by this as I used to be, so he's had more in the past month than he has in our entire marriage. (do blushes show on the screen?) Lest he sound like a jerk, he is *not* complaining. Mostly he is wondering what happened to his wife and who is this in his bed!

Okay, here's the deal, I got a blister/cut inside my lower lip the other night and I'm not sure what I did wrong that this happened. I'm not exactly thrilled on the swallowing (you could squirt chocolate at my throat and I'd gag, so it's not aboutthe semen) so I got him some flavored condoms. I don't know if it was just that particular night, but friction was an issue. I have read the Blank Manual posts, but I still don't know what I can do to avoid this happening again, because as it is, it's gonna be a couple more days before my lip can handle a repeat.

I'm going to assume it was an issue with the condom. Especially if that's the first time you used one and that's the first time something like this happened. I personally can't stand the taste of condoms, even flavored ones, so I've never used one during oral, but the latex will affect friction especially if it was not a lubricated condom.

I can't say for certain what it was about the condom as I'm too lazy to look up actual facts on it, but I'm 99% sure it was the condom that caused the cutting/ blistering.

Now, to do a BJ without the condom, you don't necessarily have to swallow. If it bothers you that much, just don't. Sometimes I swallow, sometimes I don't, it's no big deal. Don't think you have to and let that ruin something your husband obviously enjoys.

Good luck!

~ShyNymph

 

[whatzinaname]

Thanks. The condom is probably the problem, it seemed really dry. But that wasn't the first time using one and this didn't happen before.

It's not the swallowing that is a problem for me, it is him actually cuming in my mouth. Even with the condom, sometimes I gag. It's that 'something just hit the back of my throat' reaction. Like I said, it could be chocolate, but if it was squirted at my throat that way, it would gag me.

 

[Carnevil9]

I can't imagine that a condom, one of the most delicate items manufactured, could cause a cut lip. You probably just bit yourself. Just be a little more tender and slow. I don't think your husband will mind a gentle, loving blowjob.

Re: swallowing, I agree that most men don't require it. You don't even need to take it in your mouth. When he's close, pull him out and stroke him to completion. If you want to give him a special treat, aim it at your boobs, or the palm of your other hand, or your face if you really want to thrill him with your nastiness.

And congratulations on your sexual awakening!......Carney

 

[buxxxom]

The best blowjobs are messy! Don't be afraid to let saliva be your friend.

If you're serious about him not coming in your mouth, he can give you a few seconds advance notice and you can finish him with your hands. If he realizes you're serious about this issue and knows it is a dealbreaker, he'll pull out, I'm sure.

Good luck! and Keep us posted.

Pictures would be nice, too.

 

[Linyari]

If you're serious about him not coming in your mouth, he can give you a few seconds advance notice and you can finish him with your hands. If he realizes you're serious about this issue and knows it is a dealbreaker, he'll pull out, I'm sure.

I second this. At this point, I'm sure he's just estatic to be getting blow jobs in the first place. *grin*

I imagine he won't complain all that much if you don't actually have it in your mouth when he comes. Hey, there is something to be said about just letting him cum on your face but not in your mouth. *evil grin*

 

[whatzinaname]

I can't imagine that a condom, one of the most delicate items manufactured, could cause a cut lip. You probably just bit yourself.

Geesh, I'm not that naive! I know the condom didn't cut my lip, but my lip curled over my teeth. The whole thing, that particular night, took way more up and down and pressure than before. I know that for my DH, condoms always decrease the sensitivity, so we don't use them, but for this purpose. I don't know, maybe he was having an off night and it just took alot more from my mouth. Lord knows I have those night....when no matter what he does and how great it is, I can't stop wondering if one of the kids is up, are there going to be 15 files sitting on my desk in morning, did I take chicken out of the freezer...

Oh, and thanks for the congrats, Carney

 

[AgntSmth]

If you've used condoms before and not had the same problem, it could have just been a random occurrence. Maybe your lips were a little more dehydrated than the other times, and just couldn't take as much friction as usual. It could be a combination of something like that and the condom as well.

 

[whatzinaname]

The best blowjobs are messy! Don't be afraid to let saliva be your friend.

I'll remember that next time, thanks

If you're serious about him not coming in your mouth, he can give you a few seconds advance notice and you can finish him with your hands. If he realizes you're serious about this issue and knows it is a dealbreaker, he'll pull out, I'm sure.

He will, I just *want* to give him more.

Good luck! and Keep us posted.

Pictures would be nice, too.

Well, get a box of crayons and some paper, what no, you may not use markers....sorry, lapsed into Mommy Mode.

 

[chris9]

More saliva is always a good idea. Don't try to swallow it or you might choke, let it go where gravity decides it should go.

For a long time I have not been comfortable having semen in my mouth. I noticed when he was close and started kissing the top of his penis, where the head goes into the shaft. I've read somewhere it's the most sensitive spot. At the same time I continued more action with my hands. I found it a good idea to lay my arm on his hip and take his shaft into my hand. That way he could move all he wanted, his penis did not go any further into my mouth than I wanted. It made me feel more secure that no gagging would be happening.

 

[M's girl]

.... I found it a good idea to lay my arm on his hip and take his shaft into my hand. That way he could move all he wanted, his penis did not go any further into my mouth than I wanted. It made me feel more secure that no gagging would be happening.

Exactly! You can be in total control if you want to. The only courtesy he should show you is indicate when he is starting to ejaculate, but I think that if you do this often enough you will pick up on his body language and he does not even have to say anything. Pay attention to the muscles in his legs and belly and his breathing and you will know.

I'm not always in the mood for deep throating and when I'm not I use the same technique as Chris; no way he can go in any further than where my hand is! If you want to please him further from the point where you remove your mouth/lips just before he orgasms...? Try licking his balls while stroking him to completion.

 

[whatzinaname]

Chris9, M's Girl...Thank you! Great advice....I'll give it a try. Or two.

My poor husband...the things he has to suffer.

 

[M's girl]

Chris9, M's Girl...Thank you! Great advice....I'll give it a try. Or two.

My poor husband...the things he has to suffer.

Are you crazy? At least you are trying and getting yourself some information and so on. He is a lucky guy and once you've mastered the whole thing (no pun, or on second thought - yeah.. pun intended ) he will worship the ground you walk on forever

 

[whatzinaname]

M's girl, sorry, you misunderstood me, I was being sarcastic (which doesn't always come across with type and not words). He hasn't been suffering...other than lack of sleep.

He does worship the ground I walk on. I'm a very lucky woman.

 

[M's girl]

I didn't misunderstand you. Merely wanted to "blow" some support and cheers your way....

 

[whatzinaname]

Thanks! I am so ready for him to come home tonight. (wait, that should be cum)

 

[M's girl]

Thanks! I am so ready for him to come home tonight. (wait, that should be cum)

that too, yes

 

[southernsky]

Why are you using the condoms? Just curious, as I don't think that would make it more enjoyable for you: he lasts longer, and boy does latex taste GROSS!!

I would have him lie on his back on a bed, with you over him so you have the most control. Lick the tip, take the shaft into your mouth kind of like the way you eat corn on the cob, instead of like you were sucking a popsicle. There is no reason he cant let you know when hes going to cum and he can cum on you (sexy, naughty, and easy to clean up), he can cum on himself, he can cum in a towel, etc. Stick your tongue out and use that to stimulate him. You can also use your hand on most of his shaft and just tease the head with your mouth. Good luck and good for you for trying!!!

 

[whatzinaname]

Why are you using the condoms? Just curious, as I don't think that would make it more enjoyable for you: he lasts longer, and boy does latex taste GROSS!!

I know he *wants* to come in my mouth, so I got the flavored condoms to see if that made it better/easier. That in itself was weird, as they taste like the strawberry and orange lipgloss I used in jr. high, but that wears off and yeah, the latex is gross. And he wasn't wearing one the whole time, he just slipped it on towards the end, but I know that slowed things down.

Thanks for the other tips, I'll give them a try. Corn on the cob, not popsicle. Good analogy.

This totally sucks...I really want to try some of these ideas but we have this ridiculous schedule going right now and I'm gonna have to wait! ARGH!!

 

[southernsky]

Tell him you want a quickie BJ in an atmosphere where he's not expecting it. The novelty will make him super-horny, he'll cum quickly, and you can have a tissue up your sleeve and he can cum in that at the last second, and he won't even notice that much.

 

[M's girl]

I know he *wants* to come in my mouth, so I got the flavored condoms to see if that made it better/easier. That in itself was weird, as they taste like the strawberry and orange lipgloss I used in jr. high, but that wears off and yeah, the latex is gross. And he wasn't wearing one the whole time, he just slipped it on towards the end, but I know that slowed things down.

I will be the last one to say you should do something you don't really like, but I don't quite get it here. You are replacing one thing you don't like (semen in your mouth) with another one (the taste of the latex of the condom). Plus with the condom you have the hassle and everything. Not very sexy for both and a shame really if you don't need the condom for whatever safety reason....

Here's an idea. Why don't you pop open a bottle of nice bubbly wine (Champagne, Clairette de Die) and have a glass waiting for you beside the bed. Have him lay on his back so you can control the whole thing from start to finish. Let him cum in your mouth but don't swallow. Actually, keep your mouth somewhat open so the sperm will imediately start to run down out of your mouth and onto his penis. Makes for an incredible hot view he will most certainly appreciate. Once the sperm is mostly gone, take a large sip of your wine et voilá!
I agree: sperm just does not taste all that good, but it's not going to kill you either (unless..... but that's a whole different story!).

If you are as eager to please your man as I think you are, you should be able to pull this off... Make sure he gets you some of the real fine wine though; you deserve it

 

[eyeretinaeye]

Gosh I was thinking how lucky he is and whether or not it's climax in your mouth or target it another place it is still better then nothing. I have the problem of a wife whom says I am to big (girth wise), a small mouth and the old, I am not any good at it. I keep trying to get just 1 a year and it's not about being able to climax but the act in itself is a great turnon and feels good............ just wishing again for what it was like years ago.

Whats odd is that others have given me blowjobs and never complained like my wife did/does. But then, I never, ever bring up the the other with her as that would be a grave mistake for sure.

 

[SouthShoreMatt]

I'm pretty lucky in that I get a bj about once per weeK. My wife is great. And she never swallows. It's no big deal to me. she keeps my load in her mouth along with all her saliva & stays on for a while before spitting into a tissue or 2. I really like mgirls suggestion. it's totallly sexy and makes the cumming seem to last longer. My wife does that too. it's messy but usually sex is. keep a towel or lots of kleenex handy.

what disappoints a lot of guys is when women just seem to endure giving head or when they drop everything as soon as we cum. you can have him cum on his belly or anywhere but then go back down on him or continue to gently work his cock.

 

[M's girl]

Gosh I was thinking how lucky he is and whether or not it's climax in your mouth or target it another place it is still better then nothing. I have the problem of a wife whom says I am to big (girth wise), a small mouth and the old, I am not any good at it. I keep trying to get just 1 a year and it's not about being able to climax but the act in itself is a great turnon and feels good............ just wishing again for what it was like years ago.

Whats odd is that others have given me blowjobs and never complained like my wife did/does. But then, I never, ever bring up the the other with her as that would be a grave mistake for sure.

Well..... you could be (too big), we don't know.... but it does not take a real big cock (length or girth wise) to make your jaws a bit crampy sometimes. And indeed mouths come in shapes and sizes too. But I think most women who complain about that just don't like to do it very much really. My jaw cramps every now and then. I work around that. She needs to vary what she does to avoid the cramps and everything. Lick, suck, nibble and do the handjob-thing at the same time. If her jaws need a break she could suck your balls (shave please) and continue to work your cock with the handjob.

What I'm really saying is: she's probably not enjoying giving you a BJ that much. And if she's not, you could help her (by suggesting alternatives) to make it better or just tell her it's okay if she does not do it at all...

Otherwise: stop complaining.

 

[SweetErika]

A couple of drops of silicone lube on the condom/cock helps reduce unnecessary friction immensely.

Ever since I had my tonsils out, I've had a lighter gag reflex, and yes, coming in my mouth can be an issue. I make sure to angle my head so it hits the ROOF of my mouth when I'm in the mood (Hubby doesn't care either way), so that might help you too.

Also, be sure to ask him about coming on you, especially your face, as some men find it disgusting, demeaning, or otherwise a negative act. This was somewhat surprising to me, but I've heard a few comment on how unappealing facials are now, and I believe them.