Bits and pieces

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To the individual(s) that keep randomly PMing me...

wondering why I am not around.

The answer is simple.
 
If you were coming in the fall,
I'd brush the summer by
With half a smile and half a spum,
As housewives do a fly.

If I could see you in a year,
I'd wind the months in balls,
And put them each in separate drawers,
Until their time befalls.

If only centuries delayed,
I'd count them on my hand,
Subtracting till my fingers dropped
Into Van Diemen's land.

If certain, when this life was out,
That yours and mine should be,
I'd toss it yonder like a rind,
And taste eternity.

But now, all ignorant of the length
Of time's uncertain wing,
It goads me, like the goblin bee,
That will not state its sting.
 
I texted you...

saying that I'd reply.

I still have nothing.
No words
To express the want
That I have for you

Your body
Your voice
The sense of youth you project

…and inject into others.


I best end my attempt here.
 
I got to thinking the other night

How can I hunt you down?

To watch you.

I want to watch you
That’s all.

I want to see you from afar
And feel the want of being closer to you
So that I can touch you.

I want to watch you
Because I want to touch you

That is all
I just want to touch you
So that I can smell you
And have you fill my body
By way of my lungs.

So how can I hunt you down?
I want you to tell me
So that I can watch you
And touch you
In such a way
That will allow me
To taste you.

That is all.
I just want to taste you

I just want to taste you
So that when you are nowhere near
Where I can watch you
You will still be near wherever I taste you

Wherever I taste your sweet salt sweat
Your slut slick slit
Your lip licked lust

Where chocolate touches my lips
Like sultry satin across my tongue
I want to taste you

So that when I watch you
Through the window
In the hallway
Through a crack in the door
In the dark
Washing your hair
Your naked body

Thinking you are home alone



-you won’t be.
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“...unrequited love does not die; it's only beaten down to a secret place where it hides, curled and wounded. For some unfortunates, it turns bitter and mean, and those who come after pay the price for the hurt done by the one who came before.”
 
In mind I destroy the hurt
In heart I know it will never die

Time heals wounds
Packs them like potholes in the street
Caused by the winter frost
Pressing the asphalt until it buckles

Men come in
Repave

Spring arrives
And I stand on the corner

Across the street
Lunch
A dress
Spread legs

Cars drive by
People cross in the cross-walk

I stand
Wondering...

Which pothole was the one that I filled?



Which was the one I created.
 
...how is it that I do not know?

But I do.


I do to a degree


And that of which I cannot fix
I lament

In this are thoughts of what I love
Her hair and lips
How she looked at me
How her mouth felt around my cock

And my want becomes all the more real

The want isn't one out of novelty
It's out of genuine desire

Genuine Love.

The want is that of a brother taking notice
And seeing her biologically
Wishing that he couldn't
Yet... peacefully glad that he can.

And she?
Her return look across the dinner table
She has him.
Wishing she didn't want him to take her
Yet... peacefully glad that she did.


I watch these two in my head
I feel them in my body
My emotions

I want them to cross paths in the hall
I want him to press up against her as they watch their parents from the balcony upstairs.
I want her to want him to breath her into him
To nuzzle her neck
To be the voyeur to her exhibitionism.
 
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I have also concluded...

that I'll never understand what about me is worth checking out.

Case in point... I was at the locally owned, woman operated sex boutique yesterday getting a particular something for a particular reason.

I really do love the place. It's so sex positive!

But the thing is... I feel like such a goddamn square when I stop in to check things out. Never mind all the bullshit I've posted here in the past. All my thoughts and things and experiences and opportunities. It's as if I'm thir... eighteen and without a clue.

Anyway. I get what I went there for, and as I'm exiting, an obscenely attractive blonde woman is entering. I mean... stupid attractive. The kind of woman that would make my father (God rest his superficial lecherous soul) piss himself and lay himself before her so that her stilettos could use his spine as a bridge across a shallow mud puddle.

So anyway... she's coming in as I'm going out and we were both like "Whoa... wasn't expecting... whoa... wait..." And then I was like... "hold on here... you're supposed to just blow past me!"

Equally interesting was that as my eyes were checking out her rather outstanding chest, my peripheral vision caught her eyes zigzagging back and forth across my chest from one shoulder to the next. It was actually pretty fucking weird. It was as if her biological imperative was caught off guard and was in a panic and due to our close proximity there was no way she could be subtle about it.

But yeah... it's not like I'm "all that" yet for a split second, it kinda felt as if I was.
 
Hello Y. Good to see you're still around. :)

For you Shai
I am around for you.

Your dark hair
Your copper bronze skin
The voice I imagine you have in my mind.

I am around to think about you
To revisit your thread
Your thighs
The curve of your ass.

I am around
To feel my hand around me
Wondering how you would feel around me
Thrusting up inside you
Listening to you breath
Kissing your lips
And having you on me
Throughout the rest of the day

Each subtle breeze
Stirring us up together
Dancing upon my flesh
A memory I'd never wish to end
And one I want to wake up to
For the rest of my life.
 
I could explain it to you, at least from my perspective, but I don't want to make you blush. ;)

I suppose it's obvious. I mean... I guess I can see it. Nevertheless... one must remain humble in order to not come off as absolutely arrogant and narcissistic. Because chicks don't dig that kind of shit.

At least... not the ones I want to attract.
 
I suppose it's obvious. I mean... I guess I can see it. Nevertheless... one must remain humble in order to not come off as absolutely arrogant and narcissistic. Because chicks don't dig that kind of shit.

At least... not the ones I want to attract.

Actually... for me it doesn't just come down to your looks, though I have to confess your body makes me weak at the knees.

I have a penchant for fucked up "bad boys" who try very hard to be good men. I'm attracted to very dominant, kinky men, though I also want them to be literate, intelligent, loving, honest and trusting.

I know... I don't want much! :p

I'm well aware that what you show us here is only a tiny glimpse of who you are, but it allows me to dream of what's possible. Thank you for allowing us to objectify you a little. :)
 
I wish I knew how to go about expressing my feelings right at the moment.

The closest word is "sad"
The second closest is "empty"

But not empty as in "void"
Or "cold"

Maybe "numb" is a better word than "empty".



She's still very close to me
And very much like my little sister
And I still absolutely love her

I just can't keep on giving parts of myself away to a woman
Who by-and-large has stopped acknowledging me
Who seemingly just collects my efforts of keeping us close together
And pins them on the fridge like a mother would with yet another "masterpiece" her child brings home from school.

I've lost my value

She would argue that I haven't
And as a person, no... I haven't
But I have lost my novelty.


The idea of me is no longer what it once was
No longer worth calling upon
When in need of desire
Projected desire
Felt desire
Love
Lust
Perversion
Or
Danger.

I am old.

My offerings are no longer
Worth rewarding.

Therefore
No longer worth sharing.

I am over.
 
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