Bisexuals

[sweetnpetite]

today on Ricky Lake, family members brought on 'loved ones' to say, are you gay or straight- choose! They could all apparently accept a gay relative, but not a bi one. Ricki who is always so open about this kind of thing, really suprised me by going along. (yeah, I know, ratings)

What do you think of this? And is there any one here who is openly bi who has experienced anything like this? Are there any who are gay who agree that bi's are just trying to have it both ways, are just freaks, are confused, or whatever and should just choose? What differnence does it make anyway?

Curiously,

Sweet

 

[Ms_Lilith]

Do I have relatives that want me to just pick one way? Yup. They're all Christian, and they all want me to be straight. Have I experienced the hate for being bi, because 'I'm bi, therefore I must just fuck anything that moves'? Yup. Kinda sad, if you ask me.

 

[sachiaiko]

Well, I'm openly bisexual, and i was really very lucky that for most of my experiences people seemed to accept it, and me, the way that i was.

However, i was having a talk with my step mother, whom i have just recently become friends with again after a long, long time. And we ended up talking about sexuality. One of her best friends in the whole world was gay until he recently died, and she had no problem with that, she has no problem whatsoever with gays or lesbians. I thought, foolishly, that meant she felt the same about bisexuals. And then she said what shocked me so much, "Bisexuals, i just dont get those people. I think pretty much that they will just fuck anything. Heh."

I hadnt told her i was bi - and never had i felt so glad i hadnt shared that.

It was quite a horrible feeling.

There have been a few threads here on this topic, its really very common. I personally feel rather lucky to find beauty in all shapes and sexes and races. Not everyone is so lucky as that.

Nik

 

[sdedalus]

It's up to us to help make the world more accepting. Being bisexual is an easier answer for a lot of people. I know it can be used as a transition for some, a way to hide for others, but I see it as a way to open up an accept my desires for both sexes. After all two is always better tha one. Shame on Ricki Lake (P.S. why are you still watching her?)

 

[simonedb27]

i am not openly bi, i mean i have not come out to most of my friends or family, but i have on the boards and to my bf. i have heard so many people say the 'bi people will fuck anything comments.' maybe that is one of the reasons that i am afraid to come out. aside from the fact that my family is very, very christian and homophobic. they also seem to have a particular misunderstanding of bisexuals.

 

[Tx girl]

What is up with all the threads circling around "bi" people and "gay" people!!!!!


Personally ill say this as i did on another thread, im not bi, or gay. Im a straight married woman. Thats happy about my life. And Vixen is right it is sad. People should be able to love who they want to. They shouldn't have to feel worried or scared that someone else will maybe find out about it. And family no doubt should support you, its not like your asking them to mess around with your partner. Lets face it we all need love and WE ALL deserve love, no matter the gender or race.


I hope im not sticking my nose in where it dosen't belonge.

 

[thickspear]

I once net.

 

[Queersetti]

What is up with all the threads circling around "bi" people and "gay" people!!!!!


Personally ill say this as i did on another thread, im not bi, or gay. Im a straight married woman. Thats happy about my life. And Vixen is right it is sad. People should be able to love who they want to. They shouldn't have to feel worried or scared that someone else will maybe find out about it. And family no doubt should support you, its not like your asking them to mess around with your partner. Lets face it we all need love and WE ALL deserve love, no matter the gender or race.


I hope im not sticking my nose in where it dosen't belonge.

We are happy to have straight people posting here, thanks for joining the conversation!

 

[sexylilmissie]

i "came out" about my bisexuality with my parents about 3 years ago and found myself rather amused with their reaction

my father is the epitome of a male chauvenist pig...he thought it was cool and wanted to know about all my "conquests" which of course i didnt share

my mother on the other hand said she was fine with it but you can tell that she did want me to be straight. thankfully she has never pushed or suggested councelling or whatever and i am eternally grateful for that

 

[Tx girl]

Queersetti, thankyou for welcoming me! You know one thing i have noticed about you, the few times that we have "interacted" on other threads.. i have noticed that you seem to be a totally sweet guy! Again thanks for making me feel welcome

 

[Beniger]

Threatened!

That's why I think they couldnt accept a relative being bi. Being Gay is understandable, being straight is, but I think that the bi thing just transcends categories and as such is too hard to "get".

A bit of a sad statement on our values if you ask me.

 

[Cigan]

Re: Threatened!

That's why I think they couldnt accept a relative being bi. Being Gay is understandable, being straight is, but I think that the bi thing just transcends categories and as such is too hard to "get".

A bit of a sad statement on our values if you ask me.

It's only hard to get because we are in America. And for some strange reason American's feel the need to label label label. Categorize and shelve. If it doesn't fit in a nice neat section throw it away. Sexuality is defined by such a complex mess of hormones in the brain, of course you are going to get an array of results. I used to have crushes on girls (Ok not very often, but it has happened, and one was particularly strong back when I was in 6th grade). But now I pretty much only look at guys. That could change though. Who knows. I respond to what I'm attracted to as I'm attracted to it. And I think that people need to stop putting pressure on people to do otherwise.

 

[MartyScot]

Im a bi married man and came out to my wife some years ago. To my surprise she was not in the least bothered about it and encouraged me to seek out my first same sex experience. That with a guy who has become a good family friend, although our sexual contact was confined to a couple of occassions a few years ago.
I was lucky to find a bisexual group in my home city and got to know many other bisexual people. This has helped me accept my own orientation.
In my experience, there are many shades of bisexual, from the mostly gay to the primarily straight. I suspect that many people have some sexual ambiguity in their makeup and that this is why they feel so threatened by bisexual people.
There are many closeted bi married men out there - I am one of the lucky ones with an understanding partner. I am not out, however, to the wider family since I know it would upset some deeply and I regard my sex life as a private matter which I share only with people I can trust.
Hope this gives you a glimpse of the life of one bisexual guy at least, and maybe some food for thought.

 

[sdedalus]

That's awesome Marty. I am happy to have an understanding girlfriend myself...

 

[simonedb27]

i wanted to ask you, marty, about how things work in a marriage with you being bi.

sdedalus and i are both bi and i have this fear that things are going to fall apart when we get married. i know it is a bit unrational; a piece of paper can't mess things up really. i just am worried for some reason.

 

[sdedalus]

i wanted to ask you, marty, about how things work in a marriage with you being bi.

sdedalus and i are both bi and i have this fear that things are going to fall apart when we get married. i know it is a bit unrational; a piece of paper can't mess things up really. i just am worried for some reason.

i don't want to leave you.. there is no one like you in the world... you are perfect for me!

 

[simonedb27]

ditto!

 

[bottom boy]

In my experience, there are many shades of bisexual, from the mostly gay to the primarily straight

...

I am not out, however, to the wider family since I know it would upset some deeply and I regard my sex life as a private matter which I share only with people I can trust.
Hope this gives you a glimpse of the life of one bisexual guy at least, and maybe some food for thought.

Thanks for the post Marty. I am only "Out" to my gf and the board here. Although I fantasize about being taken by a man, I still have strong feelings for my gf and also am attracted to women. Therefore, I also consider myself bi.

I, too, believe there is somewhat of a continuum (is that spelled correctly?) of sexuality, with people falling in between somewhere.

Also, I find that I am more gay on some days, and more straight on others. Do other bis find this to be the case.

Thanks again,

bb

 

[MartyScot]

i wanted to ask you, marty, about how things work in a marriage with you being bi.

sdedalus and i are both bi and i have this fear that things are going to fall apart when we get married. i know it is a bit unrational; a piece of paper can't mess things up really. i just am worried for some reason.

hi simone
I just spent 45 mins typing you a reply and it has vanished in the ether when i tried to submit it. Once i finish tearing out whats left of my hair i will try to repost.
hugs
marty

 

[infinityoverzero]

Also, I find that I am more gay on some days, and more straight on others. Do other bis find this to be the case.

I think when I first discovered I was bi this was more the case. More recently, that part of my self seems to have become more integrated with everything else, so it's a bit more stable. However, in terms of sexual desire, there are some times when I'm more in a mood to role-play with my gf, and other times I just want to treat her like the sexy lady she is

I, too, believe there is somewhat of a continuum (is that spelled correctly?) of sexuality, with people falling in between somewhere.

That's the thing about us bi's ... although straight and gay aren't homogenous terms either, the word "bisexual" can cover an extreme range of people - which can make it hard for some people to make initial impressions of us, because that one word can mean a lot of different things.

 

[Mistress K]

It's not easy being Bi ...

I too understand the ridicule for being bi-sexual.
I have known since I was about 12 that I was interested in women but have always been interested in men as well. No-one ever knew though because like most people I was always told it was wrong that you were supposed to be with a man.
So therefore my first relationship was with a guy for 3 and a half years. On many occasions I asked him if it would be ok for me to get with my best friend to experiment because I was interested in having sex with a woman and he flatly refused. Once I got rid of him I was free to experiment however and with whoever I wanted and actively sought a girl to have some fun with. That was in November last year.
It wasn't until July this year that I got onto a conversation with a friend of mine. She had just left her husband a couple of weeks before and was looking for a woman to have some fun with. She had been with women before and had even got with a girl since her husband left. She also considers herself bi.
Well I won't drag this out but we went out clubbing one night and came home and the following evening we ended up in bed together. We haven't separated since. It was love we knew after about a week it was.
About 4 weeks after this I decided to tell my parents. Well my Mum did the usual cried ra ra ra and the Oh No i'm not going to get any grandkids and doesn't speak to me much at the moment. She won't let my girlfriend near the house either which is really upsetting me. But she said not long after I told her - so you just go and fuck everyone do you? I tried to explain it to her that I don't see having sex with a woman as a bad thing and that I get the same enjoyment from having sex with a woman as I do with a man. She just can't grasp the concept and calls me a lesbian when she talks to me or my family. I told her that I fell in love with my girlfriend because she is a wonderful person not because she is a female. Luckily my Dad is pretty cool and accepts me and my girlfriend because I am happier than I ever have been.
I also have a few gay male friends and they all believe that I am a dyke, they say you can't be both. I think you can because my girlfriend and I have a very open relationship and see a few men regularly and we both enjoy having sex with them. If I was lesbian I wouldn't enjoy having sex with them would I?

But there's my two cents, hope it helps

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Labels suck!!!!!

If i had my druthers i would tell everyone in the world that i am pansexual, omnisexual, trisexual....anything but BI..i just hate the connotations that go along with that word. Especially since in my heart of hearts, i have never felt *BI*. I have always loved people, NOT their sexual organs. Nine times outta 10, the people i choose to fall head over heels for are women...NOT men.

As i have said before my mum thinks i am a lesbian with hetero tendencies. Which i think is tremendously funny. Have i ever had to deal with the stereotypical response that some people have concering bisexuality? For the most part, No. All of my friends who are openly, actively gay love me just the way i am...same with my straight friends. And my mom is utterly awesome. But i do wish there was another word besides BI to describe ME.

just my 2 cents...

pet

 

[Netzach]

lessee, why I don't like "bi"

I've been a girl with guys, I've been a girl with girls...

I've been a girl with a girl who was intersexed and grew up as a guy but had chosen to be a girl in adult life...

I've been a boy with girls....I've been a boy with guys who were born girls...and I've been a boy with a guy born a guy....more than a roleplay, less than a transition....

bi implies two. Two ain't even the tip of the iceberg, honey.

 

[infinityoverzero]

lessee, why I don't like "bi"

I've been a girl with guys, I've been a girl with girls...

I've been a girl with a girl who was intersexed and grew up as a guy but had chosen to be a girl in adult life...

I've been a boy with girls....I've been a boy with guys who were born girls...and I've been a boy with a guy born a guy....more than a roleplay, less than a transition....

bi implies two. Two ain't even the tip of the iceberg, honey.

And the debate on labelling continues ...

I think that being able to take some refuge in a label is good when one is starting to accept oneself. You get the relief knowing that you aren't the only one, that you're not completely alone out in left field.

Part of the reason that I like the label of bi is that it's a broader category than straight or gay. Being bi can mean a ton of things from curious to completely polyamourous with both genders, and bi doesn't carry as much stereotypic assumptions about behaviour, dress etc (though there are some pervasive myths ie. insatiable, unable to commit etc)

However, I also think that one shouldn't have to label oneself. As noted above I enjoy calling myself bi, but I also like myself for who I am regardless of the label. A label can be restrictive when exploring oneself if it discourages you from searching oneself futher. Also, some people (such as Netzach personally, I'm amazed at the wide variety of experiences that you've had!) may not fit neatly into a definition.

All in all, I think that labelling oneself is not necessarily a bad thing - it can be beneficial to have a group to belong to, especially when first exploring oneself. However, it's ultimately up to the individual (not friends or society) to decide what they call themselves.

 

[sdedalus]

lessee, why I don't like "bi"

I've been a girl with guys, I've been a girl with girls...

I've been a girl with a girl who was intersexed and grew up as a guy but had chosen to be a girl in adult life...

I've been a boy with girls....I've been a boy with guys who were born girls...and I've been a boy with a guy born a guy....more than a roleplay, less than a transition....

bi implies two. Two ain't even the tip of the iceberg, honey.

Sounds good!