Bisexuality - how would *you* define it?

[Chicklet]

A lot of people say they are heterosexual but harbor fantasies about their own sex...a lot of people say they're bisexual but wouldn't want to be in a relationship with a member of their own sex...how do *you* define "bisexual"?

 

[Angel]

Mine

Gay : You are only attracted to the same sex.

Hetero: You are only attracted to the opposite sex.

Bi: You are attracted to both sexes.

 

[april-wine]

Re: Mine

Gay : You are only attracted to the same sex.

Hetero: You are only attracted to the opposite sex.

Bi: You are attracted to both sexes.

Angelsexual: Only attracted to Angel.......

 

[69forever]

What is bi to me...

Being bi is opening up the realm of sensual experience, no limitations.

 

[NoOtherName]

Re: Re: Mine

Angelsexual: Only attracted to Angel.......

FinestSilkxual...Only attracted to FinestSilk...

 

[ReBeLBeLLe]

Bisexual, that's a hard one.

If one is gay one is most likely to assume that one is male and has sexual, intimate, as well as committed relationships with other men.

If one is lesbian one is most likely to assume that one is female and has sexual, intimate, as well as committed relationships with other women.

It's pretty cut and dried, but when one says or claims to be bisexual it can mean different things. It can mean that you are only interested in one of the same sex in a sexual, no strings attached way. It may mean that you and your partner play with a third sexual partner. For some it may mean that one is open to a sexual, intimate, and committed relationships with one of either sex.

I guess this is where the confusion comes in. The term, or label, bisexual just doesn't seem to be as clear cut and defined as the terms gay or lesbian.

As a lesbian I have always been very careful about getting involved with someone that is bi. The last thing I want is a casual sexual fling and for some that is what bi means. They have no intention of going any further than casual. I am not trying to be judgemental....all I know is that if I am going to consider going out with someone I need to know that a deeper relationship other than mere sex can evolve.

 

[Etoile]

Re: Mine

Gay : You are only attracted to the same sex.

Hetero: You are only attracted to the opposite sex.

Bi: You are attracted to both sexes.

Argh. I really hate these categories. I'm not picking on you, Angel - probably 95% of the world sees it that way! I just hate having such neatly defined little boxes. I find it nearly impossible to believe that there are people who have never, ever, once thought a member of the same sex was attractive. (Or the opposite sex, if they're primarily gay.) This goes back to my old "peoplesexual" essay (linked to in my sig, or here)...and I know I'm not the first person to think that everybody's a little bit bisexual.

Now, whether we act on attractions, and what our regular everyday attraction and/or activity might be, is a whole different story!

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

dislike the terminology

I love women, adore them actually and most of my more intense long term relationships have been with women. However, I do date men. Mostly, i am attracted to a PERSON not a sexual organ. For me, my *bi-ness* is basically the ability to enjoy either sex's company and the ability to love either sex at any given time. I take it as my innate ability to get and give love to people and not a sex, period. (i hope that this makes sense)

later
pet

 

[Never]

Bi: Willing to sleep with either gender when sober and not desperate.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Bi: Willing to sleep with either gender when sober and not desperate.

DAMN (what about those of us who don't drink??? what excuse do we get to use???)

 

[blissiam]

hi new here

Hi im new here/ If I had to pick a deffinition/no one likes to be pigeon holed/then I like the one "Never" had. That fits for me.Interesting writing Chicklet

 

[deezire1900]

Being Bi increases my dating by 50%!

 

[Angel]

Re: Re: Mine

Argh. I really hate these categories. I'm not picking on you, Angel - probably 95% of the world sees it that way! I just hate having such neatly defined little boxes. I find it nearly impossible to believe that there are people who have never, ever, once thought a member of the same sex was attractive. (Or the opposite sex, if they're primarily gay.) This goes back to my old "peoplesexual" essay (linked to in my sig, or here)...and I know I'm not the first person to think that everybody's a little bit bisexual.

Now, whether we act on attractions, and what our regular everyday attraction and/or activity might be, is a whole different story!

Yes well the question was what each of us as individuals defined them as. No, not everyone always fits into cute little categories, however this is the simplest way to define sexuality in my own personal little world.

Someone else said that the statement that "everyone is a little bisexual is bullshit", and I agree. If I'm a little attracted to chicks, why is it so hard to believe that another girl isn't attracted to chicks at all?

Finding another person attractive and actually being physically attracted to someone are completely different things, IMHO. I think Lickerish is fucking hot and if we were both single I'd stalk her until she would have me. I've never seen Never (tee hee) but I'm immensely attracted to the person she is, and again, if I were single I'd have some serious crush issues. I find other women like Laurel physically as well as mentally attractive and I adore her, but I certainly have no desire to have her sexually.

 

[Angel]

Bleh Sorry, Etoile, if that response came off as harsh. For like the first time in the history of the world, it wasn't meant to be.

 

[Netzach]

What Never said.

I don't like bisexual as a term because I think there's a lot more genders out there.

And dammit, I wanna fuck them all.

 

[Chicklet]

There was this one girl that I was involved with who had had relationships with both men and women. She said she wasn't bisexual because she couldn't see herself falling in love with a woman. She defined bisexuality as the ability to have a meaningful relationship with both sexes.

That's interesting to me. I had never thought of it that way before she brought it up. What do you guys think of that?

I guess it always boils down to "you are what you decide you are" type thing, like I say I'm bisexual, so I'm the definition of bisexual for myself...but I might look at my friend and say "She's bisexual because she fits my definition" while she says "I'm straight. I just sleep with both sexes."

 

[Queersetti]

There was this one girl that I was involved with who had had relationships with both men and women. She said she wasn't bisexual because she couldn't see herself falling in love with a woman. She defined bisexuality as the ability to have a meaningful relationship with both sexes.

That's interesting to me. I had never thought of it that way before she brought it up. What do you guys think of that?

I guess it always boils down to "you are what you decide you are" type thing, like I say I'm bisexual, so I'm the definition of bisexual for myself...but I might look at my friend and say "She's bisexual because she fits my definition" while she says "I'm straight. I just sleep with both sexes."

Maybe it would be useful if we separated the concept of being bisexual from the concept of being biamourous.

The term is biSEXUAL because it describes sexual behavior or inclination. If a person who "sleeps with both sexes" is not bisexual, then the word has no meaning at all. It is certainly possible, and no doubt common, for one to feel physical sexual attraction for a member of one gender, while being able to only feel emotional attachment towards a person of the other. I would still define that person as bisexual.

 

[69forever]

Who are you...

I don't know. Chicklet, you bring up a very interesting concept
there...then so does Queersetti.

I am bi. I love the different nuances of sex with both men and women. The emotional and psychological difference in the relationships has been that I have never been with a true bi-male. Gay men only...and hense the reservation of emotional
commitment.

There is no such thing I've dicovered, but in an ideal situation
M/F/M would be bi with none of the petty jealousy associated
in M/M, F/F, F/M relationships. Utopian, in my world, you bet your
ass.

 

[Algol]

I must agree with Chiclet, or better with her friend. What I apply to myself as I understand it is that being bisexual is when you can be in love with people of either sex. I consider myself heterosexual, 'cause I'm only attracted by women for an emotional relationship. Having sex with men is just about playing and enjoying my sexual life.

Anyway, I'm just coming to think that being attracted by women for an emotional relationship is better defined as masoquism...

 

[Etoile]

I don't like bisexual as a term because I think there's a lot more genders out there.

That's another important part of my perspective on sexuality.

I forgot where I was going with this...doh. So basically I'm just saying "yeah, me too."

 

[dizzylia]

I've never really been comfortable calling myself bisexual, though sometimes I do just to simplify things for other people. But the term can have such different meanings for different people, I'm afraid to put myself in their stereotypes.

 

[blissiam]

dizzylia

I don't care what you call yourself. You are very striking women. Love those glasses very sexy.

 

[dizzylia]

Re: dizzylia

I don't care what you call yourself. You are very striking women. Love those glasses very sexy.

Thank you, but it's not me. It's Angelina Jolie. I just like to think she resembles me a little bit, though she's a little darker than I. But she is very sexy, no doubt.

 

[blissiam]

glasses

Knew I should have worn my glasses. But if you look like her then your still stunning . Shes absolutely hot.So please to me you anyway~~Angie

 

[dizzylia]

Re: glasses

Knew I should have worn my glasses. But if you look like her then your still stunning . Shes absolutely hot.So please to me you anyway~~Angie

And you! Can you believe it took me this long to discover there's a GLBT forum around here? I guess I haven't browsed the forum lists in ... oh, about a year. Lots of cool things around here though, that's for sure.