Bisexual, or bi-curious? Bisexual with no "bi" experience?

[sweatinganal]

Whah, wha'd I say?

Sorry, buddy, but your comments usually have a hint of arrogance and hatred to them. Really, this is an erotic talk forum, not a platform for your promoting international terror.

 

[SweetSurrendered1]

I tend to see people that say their bi-curious as those with doubts about themselves still, but could easily have already had some experiences with both genders. I think most queers experience this to some degree at some point in our lives anyways. I don't think it's unusual to still be unsure if you're bisexual after having some experiences. But when you do discover you're bisexual, then you've been one all along. It's hard to discover something that's not there.

I agree completely. I have always been attracted to women as well as men, although not quite as much towards women. I have also had a few bi experiences already. Yet I still don't feel as comfortable with women, due to my minimal experience, so I generally claim myself to be bi-curious because I want it to be clear that I'm not going to just jump right in without any tentativeness (is that a word? LOL). I do believe that I am bisexual, however, because of my life-long attraction to women.

I think my experiences may be why I am still unsure of myself with women though. I have only been with two women. The first one I was with about 3 times but she always told me I needed to improve this or that and I think that made me feel like I wasn't very good. I've never had a man treat me that way. The second woman didn't seem to be into it very much, which added to my lack of confidence. Again, men have always been extremely into it.

My point is that I agree with what most of these posts have said: we should label ourselves in a way that makes us comfortable while being honest about who you are and what you are looking for.

 

[John Doe]

Sorry, buddy, but your comments usually have a hint of arrogance and hatred to them. Really, this is an erotic talk forum, not a platform for your promoting international terror.

Are you serious?

Arrogance? Yes. Hatred? Hardly. Not in any serious way anyway.

And how am I promoting International terror(ism) by any stretch of the imagination?

 

[ladylike_treevillage]

curiously bi

fantasies.
vivid imaginations.
curiosity.
i, too, find myself in that limbo stage of bi-sexualism. <---if that is even a word.
i have kissed girls on few ocassions, nothing sexual, more or less succumbing to my drunkeness.
i have yet to experience my first-hand girl-on-girl action (or just add a guy in there to make it so that i am an equal opportunity "employer.")
lately i have found myself watching more "where the boys aren't" porn to get off.
but i am sure if the opportunity would ever arise, i would be more than happy to experience the other side of my sexuality.
but i am sure i am like the rest of my limbo gals, we are just waiting for the right opportunity to emerge.
until i have a fantastical story to tell, i am curiously bi.

 

[mercy's_grace]

"Curiously bi" is a wonderful expression.

 

[Uncertain_One]

At least most of you know what you want......


Me..I don't know what's going on.


I am happily married to a great man.......I have been curious about being with another woman for a while and told him this...well i had an experience, and it wasn't really what i would call a good one but it wasn't bad either. My problem is that i didn't do anything......nothing. I want to do it again but i'm not sure how to tell hubby because we've been through so much with a lot of different sexual things that it nearly destroyed me.


I wouldn't even know what to call myself lol......anyone got any suggestions?

 

[SweetSurrendered1]

At least most of you know what you want......


Me..I don't know what's going on.


I am happily married to a great man.......I have been curious about being with another woman for a while and told him this...well i had an experience, and it wasn't really what i would call a good one but it wasn't bad either. My problem is that i didn't do anything......nothing. I want to do it again but i'm not sure how to tell hubby because we've been through so much with a lot of different sexual things that it nearly destroyed me.


I wouldn't even know what to call myself lol......anyone got any suggestions?

Well you are the only person who can truly label you but I can tell you that I think you did a good job when you picked your Lit name! Don't be in too much of a rush to figure it all out. Things will fall into place when the time is right and then you shouldn't have to worry about destroying yourself or your relationship. That's the best advice I can give given the limited information provided.

By the way, welcome to Lit! I'm pretty much still new but I've really enjoyed myself so far and I'm sure you will too!

 

[tomboy58]

Very Interesting Thread...

I would definitely classify myself as "straight- but Bi-Curious" And this label is because -- I have no Bi-experience buy I am incredibly turned on by Female to Female pictures and Stories. I want badly to have a bi-sexual experience, I really would am turned on by the visions in my head of touching and kissing a woman's breast and nipples, and moving to her trimmed bush and parting her pussy to tease her clit. I have given it long and deep thought as to whether I was just fantasizing or actually would like to pursue it. And I really would like to pursue it -- Yet I am unsure about depth of these feelings. I may try it and Love it, I may try it and it isnt what I had worked up in my fantasies....

I do find this thread intersting though, And for my 2-cents in it.. I do believe you can classify yourself as Bi-sexual without Bi-experience. If you know you are turned-on by the same sex and know you want to enjoy Sex with the same sex - or have a relationship with the same sex Then I would say you are Bi-sexual. I Know I am turned-on and would like to have sex with the same sex, But my curious label lies in my not being sure of how I will feel about it in the future.

This thread does bring up some interesting points from all sides though and provoke some thought.

Have a wonderful day...

 

[sweetness83]

Having read through this thread, I now can't decide what I want to label (don't you just hate labels??) myself... My boyfriend would say I'm bi-curious, because while we've had girls in our bed, I've never yet had a one-on-one experience with a woman (I am allowed though, should the opportunity arise). I'd really like to, and I know I'm attracted to women, I just haven't the first clue where to find someone who will understand my situation. My friends don't know, although they know I've had threesomes. I don't want to ruin our friendships, so I haven't mentioned the whole bi thing. But it means I have no-one to talk to about this

Back to the point, I want to call myself bisexual, because I know I find women attractive, and know I want to have sexual experiences with women/a woman. But then you say it's a bad idea to say that because it implies experience... So what do you do? Add more labels? I'm an 'inexperienced bisexual'? Aren't labels supposed to be short and to the point? I'm an 'inexbisex'? lol oh dear.. confused.

 

[SweetErika]

Having read through this thread, I now can't decide what I want to label (don't you just hate labels??) myself... My boyfriend would say I'm bi-curious, because while we've had girls in our bed, I've never yet had a one-on-one experience with a woman (I am allowed though, should the opportunity arise). I'd really like to, and I know I'm attracted to women, I just haven't the first clue where to find someone who will understand my situation. My friends don't know, although they know I've had threesomes. I don't want to ruin our friendships, so I haven't mentioned the whole bi thing. But it means I have no-one to talk to about this

Back to the point, I want to call myself bisexual, because I know I find women attractive, and know I want to have sexual experiences with women/a woman. But then you say it's a bad idea to say that because it implies experience... So what do you do? Add more labels? I'm an 'inexperienced bisexual'? Aren't labels supposed to be short and to the point? I'm an 'inexbisex'? lol oh dear.. confused.

I don't think it'd be misleading in any way to call yourself bi. Even if you haven't had one-on-one experience, as long as your honest with a potential partner about the experience you've had, there shouldn't be a problem. The bad idea is to lie or leave out that you haven't had solo experience. I'm not experienced either, but most of the time, I leave it at, "I'm bi" and expand on that once I get to know a woman a little better. I have yet to be rejected on lack of experience, but I think that's because I know what I want, and I'm very honest about the experience I have had.

As for finding women who understand your situation, there are TONS of them out there. Of course it depends on who you are and what you're looking for, but you shouldn't have a problem finding bi women for solo encounters. Place a couple of ads, join some groups, and maybe even look into swinging.

 

[Soulfiregirl]

Sorry, buddy, but your comments usually have a hint of arrogance and hatred to them. Really, this is an erotic talk forum, not a platform for your promoting international terror.

Sweetie, Stup and I were just joking around. (he's a massive smartass and I was just "rolling my eyes" at his silly reply to my harem comment...because it made me giggle)


Lighten up my darling boy.

Hug?

 

[Soulfiregirl]

Well, I went ahead an put an ad in the GBLT personals fourm on here too so if any ladies see this thread and you live in Illinois, and you want to "explore" your "bi-ness" then come and holler yo.

Not that I'm "pimping" myself out or anything...heh.

 

[John Doe]

Sweetie, Stup and I were just joking around. (he's a massive smartass and I was just "rolling my eyes" at his silly reply to my harem comment...because it made me giggle)


Lighten up my darling boy.

Hug?

Yes thank you. Actually, regarding the issue I commented on facetiously, I am actually pro-Israeli for the most part, though do sympathize with the Palestinians and believe that they're really just being stirred up by a few radical elements in thier own leadership, and of course by outside agitators.

But I digress.

 

[Soulfiregirl]

Yes thank you. Actually, regarding the issue I commented on facetiously, I am actually pro-Israeli for the most part, though do sympathize with the Palestinians and believe that they're really just being stirred up by a few radical elements in thier own leadership, and of course by outside agitators.

But I digress.

Like I said....hopeless....

Sarcasm gets lost a bit when you have to type it out sometimes you know? Ah, the beauty of message boards. That's why I use extra "smilies".

 

[SweetSurrendered1]

Well, I went ahead an put an ad in the GBLT personals fourm on here too so if any ladies see this thread and you live in Illinois, and you want to "explore" your "bi-ness" then come and holler yo.

Not that I'm "pimping" myself out or anything...heh.

Well isn't that just my luck... I USED to live in the SW burbs of Chicago.... where were you then?!? LOL

 

[bi golly]

As a guy with no 'bi' experience, how do you ladies feel if a man says that he wants to have sex with another man?

It seems that there isn't any middle ground for women relative to male same sex experience. It is my experience that if a man wants to have sex with another man, most women are turned off by it. The women I have met want a vanilla man and then they can do as many flavors as they choose.

 

[WyldSpirit]

As a guy with no 'bi' experience, how do you ladies feel if a man says that he wants to have sex with another man?

It seems that there isn't any middle ground for women relative to male same sex experience. It is my experience that if a man wants to have sex with another man, most women are turned off by it. The women I have met want a vanilla man and then they can do as many flavors as they choose.

Hi bi golly. Personally, the idea of a man having sex with other men doesn't bother me at all and is something I enjoy watching. I know that there are other women out there like me. But, I'm afraid that you are probably right about a lot of women. They prefer their men to be really really vanilla. It's a HUGE double standard in our society. It seems that just about everyone is turned on by the image of two women having sex, but don't you dare even mention two men.

Good luck finding someone who accepts you for who you are, I know that they are out there somewhere

 

[Soulfiregirl]

As a guy with no 'bi' experience, how do you ladies feel if a man says that he wants to have sex with another man?

It seems that there isn't any middle ground for women relative to male same sex experience. It is my experience that if a man wants to have sex with another man, most women are turned off by it. The women I have met want a vanilla man and then they can do as many flavors as they choose.

Actually, I'm kind of with Wyld on this one. I've always found gay male porn kind of hot. Not sure why. I'd have no problem dating a guy who was bi since I'm bi. He'd just have to let me watch every once in a while.

 

[sparkzzz]

At this point in my life I consider myself to be "mildly" bi. I'm definitely more attracted towards women, although there are times when I crave sexual relations with other men (but it's not usually the case).

 

[Belle The Pixie]

Bisexuality is an amzing thing. And I agree about being more attracted to women than men - I just enjoy the feminine form more.

Being bisexual allows you to experience and enjoy so many more parts of your sexuality.

It is an added excitement.

PS- Why arent there any other openly bi women in Milwaukee? :cries:

 

[tomboy58]

Hi Bi-Golly

I agree with these ladies... I find Male to Male pleasing an Incredible Turn-on...
I know that many ladies are "grossed out" by it - but Many of us are not. My answer to your question

As a guy with no 'bi' experience, how do you ladies feel if a man says that he wants to have sex with another man?

If we were together as a couple I would Say...- I would say you are Bi-Curious and Let's go exploring. As long as we do it together and you are not "cheating" on me - or hiding things behind my back.... This is where my hubby and I are at now...
Good Luck - Because there are us women out here who are willing to explore together...

 

[Mermaid]

even if you are like me and have know since pubirty that you like it both ways you are defiinetly not bisexual until you've actually had a first experience.

I dissagree with this. Hetero's are allowed to be identified and defined as hetero, even as virgins. I believe any other identification can be just as valid without experience.

Being Bi is more about who you want and are attracted to, than who you are actually doing or have done.

And Identity, is about who YOU feel you are. Not what someone else gives you permission to be. IMHO.



Being stood up or dissapointed in someone who isn't in real life what they say they are online, goes with the territory of online, and interpersonal relations, rather than just someone who thinks they're bi. Sorry you had to deal with that... many of us have.

 

[DPPBUDDY]

What if both guys like to share the pussy, but also like the thought of their thighs, cocks and hands rubbing together- A DPP situation.
Sharing and enjoying together having sex together but not with one another without homophobia.

 

[BayAreaBluEyes]

I have dreams about having sex with both men and women. I woke up from one the other night where I was riding one guy on the floor and had another beautiful cock in my mouth.

The next night, I had a dream where I was dancing in a swimsuit with a woman and I could feel her shaven pubes through the thin nylon of the suit.

I have never had sex with a man, but I feel bi. I would like to be with a man, but it hasn't worked out.

Very much my experience as well...hence the reason I continue to call myself "bi-curious." Once I have my first experience, I will no longer be curious, nervous, or whatever else might be floating around in my head.

 

[hotnsmooth]

There are woman who enjoy it....

greatly.I have always enjoyed looking at picturesof guy-guy stuff and when at the gay clubs, it also turned me on when I saw to hot guys kissing passionatley.I was lucky enough to be with 2 guys once and my boyfriend said how awesome I looked as I was sucking the othe guy, so I suggested he come and join me so we could enjoy it together.He asked if I was serious and I said most defiinately and that it would turn me on even more and invited him to feel my wet pussy.Needless to say, he found it very wet. He knelt next to me as I took my wet mouth off our friend and held his magnifecent looking hard on out and said,suck it for me honey.Make him feel good.Just do what feels good to you.He put his head forward as I held it and he opened his mouth and took him in.I thought I was going to go over the edge right there.Our friend was so turned on,I knew it wouldn't take long.He bucked his hips up a bit and pushed more of himself in to his mouth.I was moaning and whispered in to his ear to let him fuck his mouth as I rubbed his raging hard on.He just moaned with a mouthfull.I gave him the compliment back,as to how good he looked and asked him to stop for minute.He came up off it and I gave him a loong wet french kiss.When we stopped I said suck it good for me, and we both saw a bit drop of precum.He stuck his tongue out and licked it off .I shrieked " oh baby,do it for me" and he put his mouth back over our friends big hard on.I went up and kiissed our frineds neck and asked him if he was enjoying himself and I recieved a loud moan.I then bent down and sucked his nipple in to my mouth so I could look down to see the show.It was only a few moments that our friend said he was going to come and I asked my boyfriend to let him cum in his mouth.He moaned as he looked me in the eyes.He was sucking just the big mushroom head when I saw it grow larger and start to cum.A little came out the sides of my boyfriends mouth when he went down farther.I could not believe it.Then he squeezed the bottom of his cumming cock and lifted his mouth off so it was right in front of him and he squeezed it,as more cum came flying out in to his mouth and on to his lips as I sucked his nipple.As our friend came down off his orgasm more liquid leaked out and I bent down to suck it in, then I came up and gave my boyfriend the wettest kiss we ever shared.I could taste our friend on his tongue and as we devoured our kiss, I licked his lips clean.Whew....We just smiled wildly at each other as I sank my wettness down on to him and came in minutes as I rode him wildly I could feel him exploding in to me as our friend watched.I'v got to be one of the luckiest woman around. I've talked to other woman and a couple of my friends think it's very hot to.So if you find the right one, enjoy it because it will get her very turned on.

Actually, I'm kind of with Wyld on this one. I've always found gay male porn kind of hot. Not sure why. I'd have no problem dating a guy who was bi since I'm bi. He'd just have to let me watch every once in a while.