Big Spider Warning Thread

[Bramblethorn]

Backs up my long-held belief that everything in Australia wants to kill you.

Quokkas are nice.

 

[SimonDoom]

I'm rather fond of insects and spiders, and arthropods generally, but that dude is quite a monster.

The woman spider keeper who talked about him in the video is quite appealing. I've definitely got a thing for outdoorsy women with an Australian accent. I still think about writing a "drop bear" story (it's already on the list, EB, no need to add to the tally) that would feature an American biologist man and an Australian "park ranger" woman (is "park ranger" the right term in Australian?) heading into the forest looking for the bears, and finding romance. And killer bears too, of course. That lady would be a perfect model for the character I have in mind.

Maybe I'll throw some killer spiders into the mix as well. Based on Jackie's map it looks like the ranges overlap.

 

[AchtungNight]

Nope. Did nothing for my arachnophobia.

Em

Maybe Kari Wuhrer had special powers.

 

[SimonDoom]

Bill Bryson, from In A Sunburned Country:

“[Australia] is the home of the largest living thing on earth, the Great Barrier Reef, and of the largest monolith, Ayers Rock (or Uluru to use its now-official, more respectful Aboriginal name). It has more things that will kill you than anywhere else. Of the world's ten most poisonous snakes, all are Australian. Five of its creatures - the funnel web spider, box jellyfish, blue-ringed octopus, paralysis tick, and stonefish - are the most lethal of their type in the world. This is a country where even the fluffiest of caterpillars can lay you out with a toxic nip, where seashells will not just sting you but actually sometimes go for you. ... If you are not stung or pronged to death in some unexpected manner, you may be fatally chomped by sharks or crocodiles, or carried helplessly out to sea by irresistible currents, or left to stagger to an unhappy death in the baking outback. It's a tough place.”

 

[EmilyMiller]

Maybe Kari Wuhrer had special powers.

More likely ScarJo does. Mmm…

 

[ElectricBlue]

I'm rather fond of insects and spiders, and arthropods generally, but that dude is quite a monster.

The woman spider keeper who talked about him in the video is quite appealing. I've definitely got a thing for outdoorsy women with an Australian accent. I still think about writing a "drop bear" story (it's already on the list, EB, no need to add to the tally) that would feature an American biologist man and an Australian "park ranger" woman (is "park ranger" the right term in Australian?) heading into the forest looking for the bears, and finding romance. And killer bears too, of course. That lady would be a perfect model for the character I have in mind.

Maybe I'll throw some killer spiders into the mix as well. Based on Jackie's map it looks like the ranges overlap.

Yes, Park Ranger is okay, if they're out and about in the parks. If they're more animal oriented, they'll be called a Keeper.

I'm assuming you guys have seen the classic drop bear set-up, with the English TV reporter? Where they guys set her up in a Kevlar vest and welding gloves? It's in an old thread here, somewhere. It's priceless.

 

[MelissaBaby]

 

[MrPixel]

*for everyone's edification

View attachment 2303203

So. Basically infesting all of the favored population centers, and not much else. Nice. How's Perth this time of year?

 

[JustDave478]

Yikes!!

Hercules the Funnel Web Spider

No. No. No. No. No.



No.

 

[ElectricBlue]

No. No. No. No. No.



No.

Yes!

 

[ElectricBlue]

So. Basically infesting all of the favored population centers, and not much else. Nice. How's Perth this time of year?

Burned. They've had some horrendous fires in WA.

 

[MediocreAuthor]

Yeah, he's a bit big to just swat with your thong.

I'm an American, remember, and I was wondering who the fuck was going to smack at a deadly spider with their underwear..

Oh yeah... Flip-flops. Gotcha

 

[Bramblethorn]

*for everyone's edification

View attachment 2303203

Ah, there's some confusion here. There are a lot of species of funnel-web spiders, but most of them aren't dangerous to humans. That map's showing the distribution for all funnel-webs combined.

The one that people are usually thinking of is the Sydney funnel-web, which is restricted to New South Wales and just across the border:




The only other one known to be lethal to humans is the northern tree-dwelling funnelweb, which again is quite restricted:


So you're safe from death by funnel-web as long as you stay away from NSW and Queensland. Good life advice generally.

 

[MrPixel]

...stay away from NSW and Queensland. Good life advice generally.

I gather that from what I've been reading lately. Costs of living are apparently out of control.

And it was never cheap, oh, I guess starting in the 1950s, sort of like San Francisco. My wife and I were seriously considering emigrating there around 35 years ago, even took the Sydney newspaper for a while. Glad we had that real-time info, housing prices even then were frightening and mortgage rates were running near 20%.

 

[StillStunned]

Bill Bryson, from In A Sunburned Country:

“[Australia] is the home of the largest living thing on earth, the Great Barrier Reef, and of the largest monolith, Ayers Rock (or Uluru to use its now-official, more respectful Aboriginal name). It has more things that will kill you than anywhere else. Of the world's ten most poisonous snakes, all are Australian. Five of its creatures - the funnel web spider, box jellyfish, blue-ringed octopus, paralysis tick, and stonefish - are the most lethal of their type in the world. This is a country where even the fluffiest of caterpillars can lay you out with a toxic nip, where seashells will not just sting you but actually sometimes go for you. ... If you are not stung or pronged to death in some unexpected manner, you may be fatally chomped by sharks or crocodiles, or carried helplessly out to sea by irresistible currents, or left to stagger to an unhappy death in the baking outback. It's a tough place.”

Remember when Bill Bryson was funny? (For the record, I count this as one of his more hilarious books.)

 

[Bamagan]

I'm imagining a sequel or parody of The Time Machine set in Australia, where it turns out the Morlocks have evolved to be venomous. Probably the Eloi, too.

 

[cadeauxxx]

Anyone play Doom 3 before?

These things were unsettling.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I gather that from what I've been reading lately. Costs of living are apparently out of control.

Yeah, housing is really expensive just about anywhere in the major cities here. In Melbourne you'd be lucky to buy an apartment for less than about $420k (about US$290k) and that'd be right at the end of the train line, about 25 km north of the city centre. Rental is similarly bad. And that's still cheap compared to Sydney!

I think it's a bit more affordable in the country, and teleworking makes that a bit more viable than it used to be, but give it a few years...

And it was never cheap, oh, I guess starting in the 1950s, sort of like San Francisco. My wife and I were seriously considering emigrating there around 35 years ago, even took the Sydney newspaper for a while. Glad we had that real-time info, housing prices even then were frightening and mortgage rates were running near 20%.

Oh yeah, I remember that. Very painful time. Lot of people lost their homes :-/

 

[MelissaBaby]

Australia:Life is short, brutal and expensive.

 

[LonRivers]

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