bicurious expirence: repeating it?

[kdtfd]

hi there

no-one knows about this except me and the other person involved.

I am male and never imagined that last month id have several j\o sessions with anouther male. but it happened. and I enjoyed it.

I am not ashamed of this but need help dealing with the akward situation that this has created. Me and my friend have NEVER talked about what happened either between or after the various incidents. I'd like to bring it up again, (as I wouldn't mind repeating the expirence) but really don't want to risk screwing up my friendship.

Afterwards, my friend has been making slightly homophobic comments when chatting with me on AIM. I believe (I've taken some classes in psychology) that this is a defence mechanism of his because after wacking eachother off I bet he's feeling the same "am I gay" things I am. Rather than either coming to an understanding that 2 friends jacking off together doesn't make one gay or being open to the fact that yes, he may be gay or bi, he instead is making homophobic comments to confirm his hetrosexuality.

how should I bring it up in a gentle way that dosn't risk him feeling more threatened and therefore screwing up our friendship ?

thanks
J.

 

[Erik001]

Hmm..

I'd say your thoughts on what prompted your friend to start acting this way sound pretty accurate. This will certainly be a delicate subject, but I think it does need to be addressed before that awkwardness you two are already feeling begins to break the friendship up as surely as if talking about it isn't handled properly. I'm no expert, mind you, but what I'd advise is for you to tell him just what you told us. Tell him you've been thinking about it (preferably talking to him in person), and that you've noticed the comments he's been making. Tell him how you feel about what happened, but explain that you're OK if it doesn't happen again, and that you don't want this to affect the friendship. Try to reassure him that it's OK to talk about, and that he doesn't need to push you away right now. Try to get him to tell you how he's feeling, most importantly. Make sure you do this at a time when you know you're going to have a long period of not being interupted. Since it's a delicate conversation, it's best that nothing gets in the way while it's happening. I hope this helps some!

 

[kdtfd]

re: hmmmm

yeah, I dunno. . .I agree that thats what I gotta do. the idea of Actully doing it is a bit scary though. . . . if this were any of my other friends I think I could handle it. This guy though is REALLY immature he trully never grew up.

any other oppinions from others?

 

[CuriousNiceGuy]

Hmm..immature guys are really tough to handle.
He probably has no way of accepting his probable bisexuality right now, so you're better off clearing things up.
If you want him as a friend tell him that.
I agree with all the comments Erik001 did, and it's probably the best way to go about it.
Just don't make comments that may give him the right to accuse you of luring him into that situation.People do that you know.Accuse others because they don't want to deal with facts.Especially immature ones.
But if you're gonna open a conversation like this, you should do it somewhere your friend feels comfortable.He may think you're hitting on him and that'll make him defensive in a closed up space, like a room.
Anyway just make sure that you make him feel comfortable talking with you.

Last time I liked a friend of mine, he knew I was bi and when he picked up some moves of mine he THOUGHT I was making a move on him(I WASN'T though), he just pushed me away.And he wouldn't even tell me why so I didn't have the chance to talk with him.My best friend told me everything after my friendship with the other was already ruined.
But I have no regrets.If someone is gonna push you away just because they 'fear' your intentions, I think you're better off without them.
I got better friends to be with and better things to deal with than that..:\
Damn immature people..
The only sure thing you have to do is talk to him..Good luck