Bi girl going out with a Bi guy.

[krazykinkykat]

Well, here's my situation. I'm bi and so is my boyfriend. The weird thing is... I've lately been liking girls a lot more than guys, with the exception of my boyfriend. And, that might only be an exception because he's rather feminine, and I think he likes guys better than girls, with the exception of me. >_> I know it's a little weird... has anyone been in a situation like this before? He seems to have some gay tendencies... and I guess I have some lesbian tendencies, but I've never been more attracted to anyone, male or female, and even though his friends have been trying to set him up with other girls since I left the west coast two years ago, he didn't go out with any of them. (For the record, I am returning to the west coast in July, so please no lectures on long distance relationships.)
I was just wondering if anyone has tried this before.

Ooh, and I was also wondering if any girls had tried crossdressing as guys. I've only ever seen one girl do it, and that was at a wonderful "youth empowerment retreat" (in other words, "GLBT high school kids retreat"). I was just reading some of sexy_jessie's stories, and I kinda want to try it.

Anyway... let me know.

 

[dkak001]

Well, here's my situation. I'm bi and so is my boyfriend. The weird thing is... I've lately been liking girls a lot more than guys, with the exception of my boyfriend. And, that might only be an exception because he's rather feminine, and I think he likes guys better than girls, with the exception of me. >_> I know it's a little weird... has anyone been in a situation like this before? He seems to have some gay tendencies... and I guess I have some lesbian tendencies, but I've never been more attracted to anyone...QUOTE]

Sounds like you just may in fact be in love. (Yes, it is rare these days, but it can happen!

Seriously tho, My wife has never really been attracted to men. She says I'm the only one, and given her history I have no reason to doubt it (Not to mention I trust her unconditionally). I consider myself Bi. We are happily married, with a little 'un running around the house. So to answer your question, yes we're in a similar situation and couldn't wish for anything better.

 

[krazykinkykat]

Sounds like you just may in fact be in love. (Yes, it is rare these days, but it can happen!

Seriously tho, My wife has never really been attracted to men. She says I'm the only one, and given her history I have no reason to doubt it (Not to mention I trust her unconditionally). I consider myself Bi. We are happily married, with a little 'un running around the house. So to answer your question, yes we're in a similar situation and couldn't wish for anything better.

Ooh yay! That's good to hear. I do really love him. At first it freaked me out that he likes to look at guys doing stuff to other guys, but I got used to it, it's not all that bad...

 

[MasterMischief]

So Confused

He likes you and you like him. And both of you like other people. And both of you are cool with the other liking other people. What was the problem again?

 

[krazykinkykat]

He likes you and you like him. And both of you like other people. And both of you are cool with the other liking other people. What was the problem again?

....Huh? We don't actually like other people. Wecould like other people of the same sex. But we don't like anyone except eachother. There was no problem, really...

 

[gingermango]

My wife and I are in a similar circumstance: we're both bi though to be honest, in her case it's more a case of "polysexual" rather than bi - she can be turned on by ultra-masculine, rock-hard dominant men, super-femme girls, and everything in between, depending on her mood and how they strike her at the moment. She likes cross-dressing, sub guys (like me), butch grrrls, tall ones, short ones, et cetera! We joke that she gets turned on by the wind blowing up her skirt.

Me, I'm pretty much bi but I'm only REALLY attracted to men if he, I or preferably both of us is cross-dressing - there's just something incredibly hot about a hard cock jutting from a pair of silky panties. Whether it's his, mine or both of ours doesn't matter.

 

[krazykinkykat]

My wife and I are in a similar circumstance: we're both bi though to be honest, in her case it's more a case of "polysexual" rather than bi - she can be turned on by ultra-masculine, rock-hard dominant men, super-femme girls, and everything in between, depending on her mood and how they strike her at the moment. She likes cross-dressing, sub guys (like me), butch grrrls, tall ones, short ones, et cetera! We joke that she gets turned on by the wind blowing up her skirt.

Me, I'm pretty much bi but I'm only REALLY attracted to men if he, I or preferably both of us is cross-dressing - there's just something incredibly hot about a hard cock jutting from a pair of silky panties. Whether it's his, mine or both of ours doesn't matter.

Wow. Sounds like a pretty kinky couple. I'm glad to know it can work though.

 

[gingermango]

Wow. Sounds like a pretty kinky couple. I'm glad to know it can work though.

Yes, it can work. Like pretty much any relationship, the key is openness and communication. Of course, with the sexual issues involved, communication is even more important, given how much weight many people place on sex in the context of a relationship. You've got to be open about what turns each other on, and then work out ways to satisfy those needs and cravings without damaging the relationship in the process.

 

[krazykinkykat]

Yes, it can work. Like pretty much any relationship, the key is openness and communication. Of course, with the sexual issues involved, communication is even more important, given how much weight many people place on sex in the context of a relationship. You've got to be open about what turns each other on, and then work out ways to satisfy those needs and cravings without damaging the relationship in the process.

Yeah, you're right.
A weird thing about my boyfriend though, is that not many people know that he's Bi. He's afraid to admit it to anyone. In fact, I'd known him for about a year before he even told me. He's afraid everyone will judge him. And that's a valid fear, but it bothers me a little that on his Myspace, it actually says he's straight. At first I thought maybe he just wasn't sure about his feelings... but no self-respecting straight guy would enjoy yaoi hentai, or have the same taste in guys as me. He's definitely not straight. Everyone knows that I'm Bi. Do you think he'll get over this and come out publicly?

 

[gingermango]

Do you think he'll get over this and come out publicly?

It's hard to tell; I doubt it, at least in the short term. Only my wife and closest friends know I'm bi. There's just so much of a stigma placed on sexuality and gender issues in society. It would be devastating for my career and would have a terrible impact on our family if the information was too widely known. When I was younger I would get angry about it and rant and rage at the unfairness of it all - and it's true, the situation is unfair and wrong. Yet as I've grown older I've had little trouble finding compatible people to play with and enjoy, so I can't see that being out about that aspect of my personality would have changed much, really.

Oh, and another thing I learned somewhere along the way: There's a LOT more to me than just my sexuality, you know?

 

[dkak001]

...In fact, I'd known him for about a year before he even told me. He's afraid everyone will judge him. And that's a valid fear, but it bothers me a little that on his Myspace, it actually says he's straight... QUOTE]

Sounds to me like he trusts you a lot. In any relationship that's a big deal. If you're really the only one who knows, consider how difficult it must have been for him to tell you. Now, also consider how much of a relief it is to him that you know, and are OK with it.

I agree with gingermango, that openness and communication is the key. You accept him for what he is, and he accepts you for what you are. That's about the best base any relationship could ask for.

If you're open and honest with each other, you have nothing to fear!

 

[krazykinkykat]

Yeah... I know it must have been hard to tell me, but he really didn't pick his moment or his method very well. >_<
It was the day before I was to leave for the east coast... and I found out because he agreed with my best friend that one of my exes was cute. When I realized he wasn't joking... well it wasn't a whole lot of fun. But I'm supportive of him, and now I understand him, being bi myself.

 

[Etoile]

You might want to look up drag kinging. I've dressed up as a guy on occasion. There are some women who do it very well!

 

[dkak001]

Yeah... I know it must have been hard to tell me, but he really didn't pick his moment or his method very well. >_<
It was the day before I was to leave for the east coast... and I found out because he agreed with my best friend that one of my exes was cute. When I realized he wasn't joking... well it wasn't a whole lot of fun. But I'm supportive of him, and now I understand him, being bi myself.

Well, that sounds like a pretty safe way to tell you. You're already leaving, so if you didn't like it, it wouldn't be awkword for long... ...but having fun with it probably made him wish he told you sooner...

Let him figure himself out at his own pace. He may never be ready to tell others, and you should be prepared for that possibility. If that's the case, you bear a pretty big secret.

So, are you open with other people than him?