beta read a 20k first time / vampire story?

[joy_of_cooking]

Anyone want to beta read a 20k story for me?

Title: Vampires Don't Wait Tables
Description: He's a cryptid-obsessed cook. She's just a waiter. Right?

It's the one I mentioned here: category for "sweet first time story with vampires and some graphic screaming nightmares-inducing stuff"

I'm usually pretty good with spelling, punctuation, and grammar. Looking more for your reactions to the plot, character, etc. It's my first attempt to write a story with those things, instead of just graphic fetish sex.

Send me your email by direct message if I don't have it already. I usually share a google doc or attach an msword file to an email.

No urgency. We both have lives outside writing.

Thanks!

 

[ElectricBlue]

Have you got a similar post in the Editors' Forum? You might get more traffic.

 

[joy_of_cooking]

I've had much better luck asking here than in the editor's forum. Meaning, I've never gotten an editor off the editor's forum and I've never needed more than a couple of hours to get one here.

Also, I like that here the offers are often coming from people I've interacted with already and whose own works I can read.

Would you prefer not to see requests for beta readers? I guess it's a little off-topic, given that there is an editors' forum.

 

[Unblemished]

…that title is a Bailey School Kids joke, isn’t it?

That ice cream server they harassed for being a ghoul really awakened some things in me growing up.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Would you prefer not to see requests for beta readers? I guess it's a little off-topic, given that there is an editors' forum.

Doesn't bother me. Go where you get results - the Editors' Forum does seem a bit Sleepy Hollow, these days.

 

[joy_of_cooking]

…that title is a Bailey School Kids joke, isn’t it?

That ice cream server they harassed for being a ghoul really awakened some things in me growing up.

Sorry, no idea what you mean.

 

[Unblemished]

Sorry, no idea what you mean.

There was a long-running series of kids stories that used the exact same naming convention as your story, in the same context of describing supernatural monsters. Every book involved the protagonists believing that some random adult in their life was a magical beastie, which was always summed up by a punchy “X don’t/doesn’t Y” title.

Examples include “Vampires Don’t Wear Polka Dots”, “Dragons Don’t Cook Pizza”, and “Ghouls Don’t Scoop Ice Cream”.

Every book ended with the whole thing an open question; maybe the person was a monster, maybe not.

So,

Title: Vampires Don't Wait Tables
Description: He's a cryptid-obsessed cook. She's just a waiter. Right?

was specifically similar enough that I assumed it was a deliberate homage. Wrongly, it turns out, but I’m sure you can see why I thought so.

 

[joy_of_cooking]

Oh, wow, yeah, total coincidence. I have a whole series of these planned, including "Vampires don't like vibrators," "Vampires don't turn tricks," and "Vampires don't use voice menus".

Also, several of you have messaged me directly. Thank you, I'm all set for this one.