Best freindly advice

[MissTaken]

for people new to the lifestyle.

Waht is the best advice you can offer to someone who is just wondering about BDSM?

What is the best advice you can offer to someone who is heading out to make their first real time contact?

What is the best advice you can offer someone who has found their relationship isn't what they thought it should be?



*Disclaimer: We are not clinical professionals. Any advice should be taken as friendly advice based on our individual experiences.*

 

[MissTaken]

I before e

I before e

I before e


Where is spell check when I so need it?

 

[A Desert Rose]

NO expectations. Try to have none. And keep things spontaneous, as much as can be possible.

 

[P. B. Walker]

Work on building up the trust before you work on making that ass red.

PBW

 

[zipman]

I before e

I before e

I before e


Where is spell check when I so need it?

You know, at first I thought you were saying that "I before e" was the answer to all 3 of your questions.

 

[MissTaken]

Work on building up the trust before you work on making that ass red.

PBW

Hell, I am not a newbie anymore and need to remember that!

 

[A Desert Rose]

You know, you misspelled friendly?

Oh pardon me, I guess you do know..... ~smiling devilishly~

 

[MissTaken]

No, I just never remember that rule.

You know, at first I thought you were saying that "I before e" was the answer to all 3 of your questions.

 

[artful]

Waht

H before a

H before a

H before a

(omg)-Don't hurt me please!

 

[zipman]

Re: Re: Best freindly advice

H before a

H before a

H before a

(omg)-Don't hurt me please!

LMAO - I almost wrote the same exact post!

 

[A Desert Rose]

In regards to the best advice when a relationship fails?

Some guy here at this forum once said "Cast your net in another part of the Ocean" or words to that effect. I think that is pretty good advice.

I took it. It worked for me..... ~smiling~

 

[morninggirl5]

I just came across a wonderful article this evening that i think would be what i would give someone new to BDSM. It's geared toward female subs, but i think everyone can learn from it, simply change the pronouns and genders.


I've copied and pasted the tips themselves, but it's worth the time to read the explanations and descriptions.

http://members.aol.com/OldRope/10femtip.htm


Ten Tips for the Novice, Single, Heterosexual, Submissive Woman (Version 1.0)

by Jay Wiseman, author of "SM 101: A Realistic Introduction"

Tip One: Study and otherwise prepare before you approach it.

Tip Two: Get some perspective.

Tip Three: Time is your best and most important friend.

Tip Four: You may get more attention than you can easily handle.

Tip Five: Take "elite" (and other) claims with a large grain of salt.

Tip Six: Know that "malicious warnings" occur.

Tip Seven: Beware, especially, of the person who tries to isolate you.

Tip Eight: Seek, especially, the advice and companionship of other
submissive women.

Tip Nine: Explore.

Tip Ten: When the proper time comes, help educate and
orient new submissive women, and others.

 

[MissTaken]

Wow!

Excellent post, morninggirl!

Thanks!!!!!

 

[morninggirl5]

Thanks, Miss T. I was searching for something else and stumbled across it. Accidents happen for a reason, don' t they?

I have tip Three highlighted in about a 72 point font on my screen at the moment.

 

[thorsteinveblen]

A few simple words ...

Several ideas that get lost in the lust for the moment (and the leather):

Patience

Careful thought

Time to reflect

The most rewarding, enlightening and expanding D/s relationship I have had the honor to be part of took shape over several months of correspondence, conversation, coffee and countless miles walked through parks and preserves. Never did we pretend that what we were laying the foundation for was anything but mutual enlightenment within the context of our existing lives. Expectations became intuitive and limits reflexive long before we took time out of the public eye.

It is frustrating as hell but it resulted in fantastic explorations and, hopefully, a life long friend.

 

[MissTaken]

thorstein???

I am so pleased to see you posting here!

Welcome to the forum and thank you for your response.

I look forward to reading more and more from you.

 

[Desdemona]

Online attraction does not always equal R/L attraction or compatability.


Until you have felt the sting of a hand, paddle, crop, cane, etc, you really don't know whether or not you like it.


Safewords: don't leave home without them.

 

[artful]

Re: A few simple words ...

Several ideas that get lost in the lust for the moment (and the leather):

Patience

Careful thought

Time to reflect

The most rewarding, enlightening and expanding D/s relationship I have had the honor to be part of took shape over several months of correspondence, conversation, coffee and countless miles walked through parks and preserves. Never did we pretend that what we were laying the foundation for was anything but mutual enlightenment within the context of our existing lives. Expectations became intuitive and limits reflexive long before we took time out of the public eye.

It is frustrating as hell but it resulted in fantastic explorations and, hopefully, a life long friend.

FIRST,...let me welcome you to the Forum. Thanks for your insightful post, and I hope to read more of what you think in the future. Please enjoy your stay, and post as your interests dictate.

 

[lost]

<snip>
Tip Six: Know that "malicious warnings" occur.
<snip>

Dumb question- What are "malicious warnings"?

 

[morninggirl5]

lost, there are no dumb questions.

I copied from the article again.


While the community does try to warn newcomers about genuinely dangerous people, understand that this warning process is usually not well organized, usually lacking in "due
process," and often not very objective in how such warnings are made. It is therefore, unfortunately, subject to abuse by unethical people. (Remember that there are at least two sides to a story, and the guy may not even know an unflattering "story" is being told about.) Therefore, I advise you to take an unsolicited
warning with a grain of salt.

 

[NemoAlia]

My advice is to have fun! No sense in running the obstacle course only to get to the next obstacle. Enjoy yourself at every possible opportunity along the way!

 

[artful]

MG

Wow!

Excellent post, morninggirl!

Thanks!!!!!

I completely agree with MissT's assessment of an "Excellent post". I clicked on the link,...and read the ENTIRE essay. Thank you so much,...and I hope ALL newcomers to BDSM take the time to read what is on your link.

 

[MissTaken]

My advice

Know yourself and feel confident about who you are before trying to engage in a D/s relationship.

How can you offer yourself to someone if you dont' know what it is or who it is you are offering?

How can someone meet your needs if you dont' know what they are?

Dom/mes are often frustrated by subs who think they want all the same things the Dom/me want, but find out after feelings become involved, that the sub just isn't ready or accepting.

Ditto for Dom/mes.

 

[Angelofsex]

Thank you for the thread MissThread. There is so much to learn.

 

[MissTaken]

Lots to learn.

Feel free to ask questions.

We will answer, if we can.

We are all continuously learning to one extent or another.