Best email questionaire...EVER!

[Boota]

After reading the Expendable celebrity thread it made me think of this. (See #11.) Most of these things suck, but I think this one asks the really important questions in getting to truly know someone.
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You know the deal. Copy and paste this questionaire, supply your own answers and send it to your online contacts. Anyone you would like to know a little better. A lot of those email questionaires don't ask the right questions. This one will get to the bottom of who you really are as a person. In all seriousness, these are the fifteen most important questions you will answer in your fucking life! Aaaaaaand... GO!


1. Which cartoon character would you most like to have sex with? -

2. Velvet Elvis or Dogs Playing Poker? -

3. Favorite sexual position? -

4. Favorite comic book? -

5. Favorite nude scene in a movie? -

6. Best violence in a movie? -

7. Most fun blasphemy you've committed? -

8. Ugliest celebrity you'd fuck anyway? -

9. Best food for sex play? -

10. If you could see any two separate species have kinky sex, which would it be? -

11. Celebrity you would most like to see violently murdered and their body found in a compromising position? Details? -

12. For a million dollars would you take a large bite of an aborted fetus? (Cooked impeccably, of course. Not raw. No need to be gross.) -

13. You're drunk and you bring home a person that is the opposite sex you thought they were. Do you just go for it and chalk it up to experience? -

14. Sickest porn you've ever seen? -

15. Would you pay fifty cents to watch a monkey fuck a football? -

 

[Guest]

I wanna know who's going to be the first one to answer this, and tell us their answers. It ain't gonna be me!

 

[Guest]

Well, the questionnaire itself would say something about the sender. There are only 4 or 5 questions I would answer or put to another.

Perdita

 

[Guest]

1. Which cartoon character would you most like to have sex with? - Daisy from L'il Abner
2. Velvet Elvis or Dogs Playing Poker? - Velvet dogs playing poker with Elvis

3. Favorite sexual position? - Her on top facing away. So many things I can to with my hands that way.

4. Favorite comic book? - The Uncanny X-men

5. Favorite nude scene in a movie? - Linda Hamilton in Black Moon

6. Best violence in a movie? - Rutger Hauer in Blind Fury (Any fight scene)

7. Most fun blasphemy you've committed? - While in Las Vegas saw a sign out in front of a church that said "If you're done sinning, come on in. I wrote under it, If you're not, Call Linda 800-GET-LAID

8. Ugliest celebrity you'd fuck anyway? - Yeardley Smith

9. Best food for sex play? - Stawberry Jello

10. If you could see any two separate species have kinky sex, which would it be? - Monkey and dolphin

11. Celebrity you would most like to see violently murdered and their body found in a compromising position? Details? - I'd like to see Joan Rivers found dead with a HUGE dildo in every orifice. (And I do mean EVERY)

12. For a million dollars would you take a large bite of an aborted fetus? (Cooked impeccably, of course. Not raw. No need to be gross.) - No. No, FUCK NO! No.

13. You're drunk and you bring home a person that is the opposite sex you thought they were. Do you just go for it and chalk it up to experience? - No. No, FUCK NO! No.

14. Sickest porn you've ever seen? - Ummm... can't give details, I didn't watch more than a few seconds, but people shitting on each other.

15. Would you pay fifty cents to watch a monkey fuck a football? - Oh SHIT Yeah!!!

 

[TheEarl]

You know the deal. Copy and paste this questionaire, supply your own answers and send it to your online contacts. Anyone you would like to know a little better. A lot of those email questionaires don't ask the right questions. This one will get to the bottom of who you really are as a person. In all seriousness, these are the fifteen most important questions you will answer in your fucking life! Aaaaaaand... GO!


1. Which cartoon character would you most like to have sex with? - Jasmine from Aladdin

2. Velvet Elvis or Dogs Playing Poker? - Dogs Playing Poker

3. Favorite sexual position? - Girl on top

4. Favorite comic book? - Never read one

5. Favorite nude scene in a movie? - Can't think of one off the top of my head

6. Best violence in a movie? - Vinnie Jones's entrance into Gone in 60 Seconds. Mainly for the way a character can make an impression without saying a line throughout most of the film.

7. Most fun blasphemy you've committed? - Going to a nursery run by nuns when very lickle. The nuns asked the chibs to talk about what Jesus Christ meant to them. I shot my hand up; I knew this one. "My Daddy says Jesus Christ when he hits his thumb with a hammer." The nuns asked my parents not to bring me back again.

8. Ugliest celebrity you'd fuck anyway? - Again, can't think of one.

9. Best food for sex play? - Ice-cream

10. If you could see any two separate species have kinky sex, which would it be? - Species???

11. Celebrity you would most like to see violently murdered and their body found in a compromising position? Details? - Lot of celebrities I hate, but none spring to mind for the hit-squad.

12. For a million dollars would you take a large bite of an aborted fetus? (Cooked impeccably, of course. Not raw. No need to be gross.) - No. Who offers a million dollars anyway?

13. You're drunk and you bring home a person that is the opposite sex you thought they were. Do you just go for it and chalk it up to experience? - Depends on the person. If it's Carson, then probably yes.

14. Sickest porn you've ever seen? - When someone at a computer repair shop had spyware that linked them to child porn. I suggested burning the computer as formatting wouldn't be enough to cleanse it in my mind.

15. Would you pay fifty cents to watch a monkey fuck a football? - No. Some Dadaist questioning here.

The Earl

 

[Boota]

I really should have posted my own answers to this. Here ya go.

1. Which cartoon character would you most like to have sex with? - Ned Flander's wife Maude. (Before she died.)

2. Velvet Elvis or Dogs Playing Poker? - Velvet Elvis

3. Favorite sexual position? - Me on top with her legs over my shoulders.

4. Favorite comic book? - Preacher

5. Favorite nude scene in a movie? - Jamie Lee Curtis in Trading Places

6. Best violence in a movie? - The decapitation in Sleepy Hollow where the guy's head spins on his neck stump before falling off.

7. Most fun blasphemy you've committed? - fucked a preacher's daughter in the back of a church with her ass propped up on a stack of bibles.

8. Ugliest celebrity you'd fuck anyway? - Martha Stewart. (Although technically she is only ugly on the inside. Not too bad looking for an old broad, but her pussy must be a deep freeze.)

9. Best food for sex play? - Lindnor's White Choclate Truffles

10. If you could see any two separate species have kinky sex, which would it be? - Two dogs slam fucking a cat.

11. Celebrity you would most like to see violently murdered and their body found in a compromising position? Details? - Rush Limbaugh, found dead with Bill O'Reilly's penis trapped in his ass when Rush's pelvis collapses during boisterous sex. Bill is crying hysterically.

12. For a million dollars would you take a large bite of an aborted fetus? (Cooked impeccably, of course. Not raw. No need to be gross.) - Absolutely! It's sick, but it's one bite for a million bucks. Probably wouldn't be bad with a little hot sauce.

13. You're drunk and you bring home a person that is the opposite sex you thought they were. Do you just go for it and chalk it up to experience? - No.

14. Sickest porn you've ever seen? - I saw this German porn where a guy was eating shit as it came out of a woman's ass. Classy!

15. Would you pay fifty cents to watch a monkey fuck a football? - Of course. When do you get a chance to see that?