Being Shared

[slvjenn]

I've been wondering about this a lot lately and while I've seen some threads about it, none seem to really answer my exact questions. I suppose my question can't actually be answered so I'll just ask for opinions and speculation.

For a long time now I've had a fantasy where I'm shared. Used by various people or made to perform on or for various people.

I've shared the fantasy with him, and we both agreed that we weren't ready for it.

I think now I'm getting to the point where I REALLY want to see what it's like. But, I am scared. On one hand I think that it would be erotic like crazy, but on the other hand I fear how I'll feel after the fact. Then of course there is the issue of how HE will feel afterward.

So the Question to the doms is...

First, have you ever done this with your subs. If so, how did it affect your relationship after the fact? If you haven't and the desire is there, can you share reasons why you haven’t?

For the submissives.

Have you ever been shared? If so, what kind of mental issues did you have to deal with during and after the act. What acts were there? Did you start off with something light and get heavier or more physical in later encounters? Was there any noticeable change in your Dominant afterwards? (Even if he maybe denied having any change in feelings/actions)

Obviously if anyone has anything else to add, feel free.

 

[ownedsubgal]

>>Have you ever been shared? If so, what kind of mental issues did you have to deal with during and after the act. What acts were there? Did you start off with something light and get heavier or more physical in later encounters? Was there any noticeable change in your Dominant afterwards? (Even if he maybe denied having any change in feelings/actions)<<


yes, i have been shared by my Master. it is a regular part of our union and has been that way from the very start. there was no "building up" to it, as we understood from the very beginning that it was a need of both of ours. i am used by other men only (my Master does not care to have me with other women), domestically, sexually, and physically. what mental issues do i have to deal with before or during? none, really. it's a need of mine to be used in such a way by other men, i am a born slut, as well as very submissive by nature, to the point of submitting to all, instinctually, and not just to someone i love and who loves me. so there is no mental or emotional struggle involved for me. my only concern is pleasing my Master in my service to others, and of course, pleasing those i am serving. i think the first time my Master had me with someone else, it was a 3some with my Master and i and the other man...it was sexual use only. sometimes we get very heavy/intense (like gang bangs), sometimes it's fairly light. just depends on what my Master is in the mood for. my Master is very pleased everytime i serve another man. it makes him proud as punch, and the more harshly and thoroughly someone else uses me, the happier my Master is. so the only change in his attitude would be increased giddiness.


but my Master is an uncommon man, most men cannot bear to have their loved one used by other men, especially sexually. it could cause a huge mess if it's not what both of you truly need and desire.

 

[Pure]

For a look at how 'some' male minds work after the fact, I like the devolution in 'an indecent proposal' the movie.

 

[Hexiegirl]

I've liked this idea very much in the imagination, but not sure if I'd like it in real life~

 

[slvjenn]

that's kind of how i feel about it hexie. But it's starting to get to the point where the fantasy is too powerfully drawing me in to resist trying it IRL.

 

[His Flower]

For the submissives.

Have you ever been shared? If so, what kind of mental issues did you have to deal with during and after the act. What acts were there? Did you start off with something light and get heavier or more physical in later encounters? Was there any noticeable change in your Dominant afterwards? (Even if he maybe denied having any change in feelings/actions)

Obviously if anyone has anything else to add, feel free.

I went into this relationship knowing that Sir wants variety. He's always been very honest and upfront with me in everything. He only shares me with other women though; he has no interest, or desire to see me with another man. How do I feel about it? Well, I'm submissive but nevertheless, I'm still a woman; I do get jealous. I learn to control the jealousy and not let it get to me because the important thing to me is I'm making him happy, serving him, and I do get pleasure out of being with other women. As for whether his attitude has changed afterwards; no, I don't think it has. At least not in a bad way. In fact, sometimes I feel like he loves me more. He always continue to remind me that I'm still important to him, and he still cares for me plenty. So I guess I went off on a ramble now, I hope I made sense, but interesting topic though.

~His Flower~

 

[Hexiegirl]

I can definately relate slvjenn

and hi Flower!!

 

[His Flower]

I can definately relate slvjenn

and hi Flower!!

HI Hexigirl...how are you doing

~His Flower~

 

[Hexiegirl]

Doing okie dokie. Finally getting around to dinner as the baby has been fussy tonight (had her immunizations yesterday).
And now Slvjenn is going to have me fantasizing all night! LOL

 

[FungiUg]

This is one of those grey, danger areas. It so depends on how your partner and you handle jealousy, possessiveness and control. And how healthy and stable your relationship is.

Having said that...

I love the idea of sharing. I have an idea for a story in the works where a submissive is acting as a "maid" for a dinner party, and is used by the guests and hosts during the dinner party.

I also like threesomes in reality. My lover and I have had several (non-D/s and D/s) and my first threesome was with a married couple who are friends (two men playing with one woman... a lot of fun!)

If the threesome with another woman is what you had in mind, then check out my "evyl twin" stories, because one of those relates an event (with some added imagination to make a better story.)

If you mean being shared by several dominants, or having another submissive present -- maybe the best bet would be to try a club or a BDSM event?

 

[Netzach]

What FungiUg said, more or less.

If your partner or you are super duper hard wired for exclusivity and anything else throws you into a tizz, this may not be the way.

If not, talk a lot. Be really clear about what sharing does and does not entail.

Wanna be the centerpiece at a party? Need to be gangbanged? there's a whole world of activity out there and a whole range of limits and boundaries.

As for me and my boy we're about as poly as it gets. The relationship is an open primary. He's bisexual. I love sharing him with men, or even letting him go off and play with men and report later. I get off on it, he has fun, it's all good.

 

[His Flower]

Doing okie dokie. Finally getting around to dinner as the baby has been fussy tonight (had her immunizations yesterday).
And now Slvjenn is going to have me fantasizing all night! LOL

Ahhhh....fantasizing...but at least that's fun.

~His Flower~

 

[Hexiegirl]

Heh heh, yeah Flower and I avoid all the bad things we've discussed in this thread. A lot safer I 'spose~

 

[His Flower]

Heh heh, yeah Flower and I avoid all the bad things we've discussed in this thread. A lot safer I 'spose~

Fantasize on then girl....I think I'lll do the same till I'll see my Sir, hopefully it'll be REAL soon

~His Flower~

 

[catalina_francisco]

I can only relate my own experience and thoughts on this as a slave who has recently had her first experience of being shared by Master. It is a situation we both agreed would happen in time, and spent a lot of time discussing and planning to ensure we both were okay physically and emotionally and most of all supportive of each other before and after the event.

To say there were not concerns in my mind would be a lie as we are in a 24/7 relationship and marriage and do not want to ever risk what we have found in each other. The top concerns for me were how he would feel after seeing me with another man, and the necessary health concerns. Health is an issue that must be discussed openly and responsibly, based on informed choices.

The day arrived and I was majorly stressed out though also wanting it as much as Master as we both recognise my desire to be used sexually for his pleasure. Fortunately our choice of third participant was someone who was mature and understood the significance of what we were doing, so was willing to stay within the guidelines we set.

Although I do not get pleasure out of having sex with anyone apart from Master, I did get pleasure out of the useage of my body, being given to someone else to use, and the obvious pleasure I gave to them, thus making Master proud of his possession. At no time did Master join us, though that is planned in the future. He watched all that took place and gave me a sense of being protected while also used for pleasure.

Master gave him permission to fuck my mouth, cunt, and arse, as long as he used a condom at all times. He made good use of all opportunities offered and has made it clear he had such a great time he is available anytime we may want! At this point there has been no permission for others to give me pain, though that is a possibility in the future.

I personally thought I would find it more difficult than I did and was surprised to find it was not. Part of that might have been my concentration of fulfilling Master's wishes, but mostly I think it came down to the time we spent talking and making sure our love was strong enough to accept this. The thing which was highlighted for me was the feeling of freedom I experienced as Master made it clear he was secure in our love to a point jealousy was not an issue, and that he wanted me to find enjoyment at some level and to explore and play with my sexuality. I have had plenty of sexual exploration in my life but never in the same sense where it is with a supportive, loving partner encouraging me to let myself go with others.

The session and sex we enjoyed alone afterwards was out of this world. Master has remained just as loving as ever, perhaps at times more so. I have at times experienced minor stress outs but more because I am still getting used to the idea it is okay with him, and my own lifelong shyness, not because I found it a traumatic experience. I feel in all honesty it is going to be something which helps me grow in a positive way as a slave and woman and is an experience I look forward to repeating and building on under Master's watchful gaze and guidance.

C

 

[snoozebutton]

Being in a poly relationship with three submissives I will tell you that there will be hurt feelings. Being as there is only one of me someone will get left out in there mind. We all just had a vacation together where we all meet for the first time together. We have meet in seperate groups before. I'm not going to lie the feeling of watching two pleasure the one in the middle while i made love to her then got going and fucked her hard was intense. And when we did the teasing beforehand with her bound and blindfolded as all those hands were on her really was out of this world. You can use candles and ice and a feather at the same time as you have three sets of hands working on one body. Or two mouths sucking a nipple apiece as I penetrate her with my coick or a toy, yummy. Now seeing as they all made a point to tell me that it increased there pleasure with me watching if I let the three play in pairs or together, I have to believe you will need to play the session in your head of you being fucked while you search out the eyes of your Master. How much guilt will you have knowing another man is giving you pleasure while he looks at you. Are you prepared for a look of a wounded animal in his eyesa if he thinks the other pleasures you more. You need to make sure he is ok with this first, it may hurt him to see your eyes searching his for acceptance and finding only sorrow. I learned a lot on my vacation every person needs alone time, and believe me communication is the key. It was hard and stressful at first but how I enjoyed being with them, I would walk thru that desert a thousand times again to feel the way I feel when I remember. I hope my ramblings helped.

 

[D's mariposa]

Well said Snoozebutton. (Yes your ramblings mad sense!) It's cool to see the Domly point of view because it is something that D and I are discussing.

 

[dragonlace]

recently being introduced to my Masters other subs was a very intense experience.....to be played with was exciting but also very strange.....i had never been with another woman actively so it was a strange and new experience for me but with the help and guidance of Master it was wonderful and although there are times when one of us may feel as though we are left out...i know that He loves us each and we each need our own time with Him but sometimes thats hard too. Its a new experience and each of us deals with it differently.....for me i try to put everything into perspective and think of Him first because His happiness is why i am here.....for His pleasure i would climb the highest mountain. So it all evens out.....Also we are all honest about our feelings and open when we discuss it so we have an insight into what each other is feeling and that makes a world of difference. If i couldn't talk openly with each of them honestly i wouldn't be able to do it.

 

[ownedsubgal]

i wanted to add that there is a HUGE difference between a poly relationship, and a D/s relationship in which sharing is involved. i could NEVER be happy in a poly union...i'm too needy and want my Master all to myself. however sexual sharing is very, VERY different. both of us only have casual sex or physical interactions with other people, there are no emotional bonds to any other people.

my Master has never gotten jealous while seeing me with, or knowing i was with, another man sexually. He knows that i am only being used by them, only serving them, and that he is the one i need and desire above all others, and the one who has ALL my love. if another man is doing something to me i find pleasurable, and i deserve to feel such pleasure, it pleases my Master. He likes to see his lil slut having a good time when she has been a good girl. but it's not about sexual kicks for us, it's about use and service. i am there to be used by men to fulfill their physical and sexual needs and urges, and my Master sees that i am put to such use. whether i enjoy the experience or not is truly not the point.

 

[FungiUg]

Sounds like semantics to me.

Poly is where a relationship involves more than just a monogamous relationship. Technically, your "being shared" would fall under the poly category.

The difference being that you see poly as a Master with multiple subs. In fact, the reverse (a sub being used by multiple people) could easily count as a poly relationship as well, particularly if the other people who use you aren't one-offs. (I guess it falls into the category of whether you have a "relationship" with them.)

It sounds to me like "it's okay for me to do it, but not for him." Which is, I think, a little unfair.

 

[Desdemona]

Vacation with Snooze, lace and Kayte was indeed an intense experience. Physically sharing Master with lace and kayte was both difficult to do and the easiest thing in the world. I found that when I focused on what would please Him, sharing was the most natural thing in the world.
I must admit, when my turn came to be the center of attention as He described, it was amazingly erotic. In spite of the fact that the two of us were not alone, I remained connected to Him and focused on Him. That bond we share (and seeing His joy as we played together) increased my pleasure immeasurably.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I don't see that ownedsubgal was saying it was alright for her to have multiple partners but not her Master. From what she wrote, her Master apears to have the same mindset and purpose as my own Master. It is about use, service, control, and dominance, and most definately about pleasing the Master, not oneself.

For us, Master has no interest in being with another woman sexually or otherwise even though I have expressed my thoughts it was a fair thing for him. I am unable to ensure I would always be able to handle it well if he ever chooses to, and feel it will once again be a time we talk and ensure we understand the meaning of the act.

Master points out he is not giving me the opportunity to have full on relationships with others. He is exercising his control over me in having me do something he knows is not what I would choose to do myself. It is as ownedsubgal pointed out, all about pleasing him, not me, serving his needs, not mine. As sub/slaves we are not nominating we need or want another man to get off with. We are fulfilling our Master's desire to share us with another and expect us to give that other pleasure whether we want to or not, whether we enjoy or not is definately not the point. As for our Master's having other women, it is his right, but does not have the same purpose as our being shared does so is not a comparable point on that score.

c

 

[ownedsubgal]

Sounds like semantics to me.

Poly is where a relationship involves more than just a monogamous relationship. Technically, your "being shared" would fall under the poly category.

The difference being that you see poly as a Master with multiple subs. In fact, the reverse (a sub being used by multiple people) could easily count as a poly relationship as well, particularly if the other people who use you aren't one-offs. (I guess it falls into the category of whether you have a "relationship" with them.)

It sounds to me like "it's okay for me to do it, but not for him." Which is, I think, a little unfair.

no, it's not semantics. poly to me is a committed relationship between multiple people, whether it's multiple men or multiple women. i am in a relationship with one man only, my
Master, and he is in a relationship with one woman only, me. He uses other subs when he wishes, and i'm used by other men (Doms and vanilla) whenever he wishes. but these are people we have no relationship or bond with of any kind, it's use and service and nothing more.


catalina explained it very well...i serve other men because it is my place and purpose to do so, not for my own pleasure. it's hardly pleasurable to always serve someone else. i often have to serve men when it's very unpleasant and difficult. but, that is my place. yes, my Master has the right to be with other women whenever he pleases, he is Master, but that's not something he desires often at all, it's a totally different ball game.

 

[Etoile]

Daddy and I have talked about it, mostly while fucking, to get ourselves even more excited. But actually doing it? I'm not sure I could. I'm generally scared of other people, so Daddy would have to be right there with me if somebody else were using me. Without that presence, I'd probably succumb to my panic disorder and just freak out. (I might even with Daddy there.)

 

[catalina_francisco]

Daddy would have to be right there with me if somebody else were using me.

I can relate to you in this. Master is always present to ensure my safety and security and would have it no other way. He is aware how difficult it is for me and despite my initial fears his presence would make it so much harder, in reality I found it comforting as well as being the experience we shared in the context it was intended. As the whole purpose is to please Master through my humiliation at being used, his presence is a necessity.

c