Being in control...

[socalrider]

Hey folks..my partner wants me to take charge in the bedroom and be in control including restraining. I've got some good ideas for this, but would like to get feedback from women who enjoy this. What do you like your partner to do when they're in control? How far do you let it go?

thanks

 

[Eilan]

Hey folks..my partner wants me to take charge in the bedroom and be in control including restraining. I've got some good ideas for this, but would like to get feedback from women who enjoy this. What do you like your partner to do when they're in control? How far do you let it go?

thanks

Limits are going to vary from person to person. I'm not much for restraints, but I do like a fair amount of hair-pulling, spanking, slapping, breath play lite, etc. Your partner, however, may be more interested in gentle teasing, ice, being blindfolded, stuff like that.

I suggest that you discuss limits with her beforehand so you know how far she wants you to go. And make sure she has a safe word.

 

[witch_baby]

Start slow...

Definately set boundaries and have a safeword.

Being shoved up against walls, thrown to the bed/floor/couch/table are good starts, blindfolded, teased, made to beg, basic name calling, being tied up and left there to wait... that kind of stuff.
Try a really cheesy and eloborate scenario like going to a bar, pretending not to know each other, trying to pick her up and then going back home and semi-forcing her into sex. I've always wanted to try that...
Ooh and read this...
http://english.literotica.com:81/stories/showstory.php?id=83398

PS Just a thought- you don't mention if this is something YOU'D like. Is it? And if not, is there a fantasy you'd like to carried out?

 

[KaosMom]

Hey folks..my partner wants me to take charge in the bedroom and be in control including restraining. I've got some good ideas for this, but would like to get feedback from women who enjoy this. What do you like your partner to do when they're in control? How far do you let it go?

thanks

If you want to start light - maybe have her "be asleep" and then you slip into the room and "take control" - and I have to agree with what's been said - start slow and have a safe word.

I personally love the feel of being restrained - It frees me from my uptight religious upbringing - It's not wrong to enjoy it, if I can't help myself (I know - pitiful, but I had to get over it somehow)

Remember to be very careful about what you use for restraints - many things which seem gentle can be pretty rough when a lot of pressure is applied - you also have to be careful how you tie someone up - loss of blood flow to the extremities is no fun

As for things you can do - putting her in unusual positions, so when you touch her if feels different - or, if you usually leave the lights on - have them blazing with mirrors around so she can not just see you, but see herself - remember, the mind is the largest sexual organ - and if you can get the mind fully involved in whatever you're doing - it'll be great

Most of all - have fun!

 

[VelvetDarkness]

I personally love the feel of being restrained - It frees me from my uptight religious upbringing - It's not wrong to enjoy it, if I can't help myself (I know - pitiful, but I had to get over it somehow)

I am exactly the same Kaos

Definitely talk more about this and have a wander through the BDSM talk forum here, you'll get lots of ideas and advice. Maybe sign your lady up and see which of the BDSM stories she's drawn to?

Have a safe word - even if you're starting off gently and be aware that if she's got her mouth full or she's gagged a safe word is useless. Agree a sign as well in that case and make sure she's able to make that sign at all times.

Enjoy x

Velvet

 

[tryptamine]

Just make sure you're aware of what your partner wants.

The fact that she wants to be tied up does not mean that she wants to be called a slut or a whore. Or that she wants to be shoved up against walls and fucked.

She may want these things and more, I'm just saying that you know your partner and your relationship better than anyone else.

My partner likes being tied up but that's because she wants me to take control of her pleasure. She doesn't want to be degraded, or treated like an object or a piece of meat. Just to be desired and for her sexual pleasure and release to be unequivocally in my hands. Your partner may be like this, or she may want to be tied up, smacked on the ass and called a slut. Make sure you know the limits. Both hers AND yours.

 

[socalrider]

Thanks everyone for your comments. I hadn't thought of the safe word/signal so we'll definitely talk about that. And although I have a good idea of what the boundaries are, I need to define them a little more clearly just to make sure.

 

[cellis]

The only way to have this work well in a relationship is to communicate with each other. Ask your partner what they want and expect from you. It requires a little creativity on your part.

One of my favorites is to be told to be waiting in bed with my blindfold on and restraints on my wrists and ankles. I have to just lay there waiting until he shows up. It may be immediately but it is usually 5-10 minutes. He might come in kiss me or just tell me not to say a word.

The waiting helps to build the excitment and of course I am wondering what he is going to do this time.

Just a thought...

 

[LadyJeanne]

Try reading some of the stories in the BDSM category together, and talk about what turns you both on and what doesn't...

 

[witch_baby]

Just make sure you're aware of what your partner wants.

The fact that she wants to be tied up does not mean that she wants to be called a slut or a whore. Or that she wants to be shoved up against walls and fucked.

She may want these things and more, I'm just saying that you know your partner and your relationship better than anyone else.

My partner likes being tied up but that's because she wants me to take control of her pleasure. She doesn't want to be degraded, or treated like an object or a piece of meat. Just to be desired and for her sexual pleasure and release to be unequivocally in my hands. Your partner may be like this, or she may want to be tied up, smacked on the ass and called a slut. Make sure you know the limits. Both hers AND yours.

That's a really good point. But I guess I was approaching it more form the p.o.v that he wanted suggestions (to get ideas) and then he'd apply this as it suits her. I wasn't assuming he'd just go mad and try all this stuff out on her, regardless of whether it was her thing or not. Obviously a great deal of care needs to be taken.

It says a lot that someone is willing to explore these things for their partner.