BareBack_Driver
Experienced
- Joined
- Jul 1, 2025
- Posts
- 37
Just one of my random rants. I've always been in a hurry to grow up, and I don't know why. I was vaping at 12. Sex soon after, and I had my first alcoholic drink by age 15. I had this expectation that once I left home, I'd just cruise around the world with my friends and finally be free of my parents' rules and all of the restrictions that society placed on me, and the idea of no longer having to go to school felt like it would be a retirement. I never had the same interests as my friends, even with boys. I dated several in school, and because of my "attitude," as Mom put it, she put me on the pill, which I think only served to make me more adventurous, and I just wanted to try anything and everything. Then I met this older guy, and for whatever reason, his maturity just appealed to me, but it didn't last.
Well, by early June, I just went from my parents' house rules to society's rules, and I think the rules for having to be responsible for myself are much worse, and sometimes I want to go back. I feel like this year was just a flood. Everything is happening quickly at once. I graduated from HS in late May. Then I turned 18, and my dad pulled some strings to get me this job, which is 2.5 hours from home, and I did not want to commute 5 hours a day.
So thanks to Dad's networking skills, he gets me a place to stay with one of his coworker's daughters, and she lives with her boyfriend and one other person, and they needed a roommate to fill a 3rd bedroom. They're all like in their 20s and finishing up college and have these bright futures, and I'm just here, like some lost kid that showed up on their doorstep. So I go on my vacation to celebrate both my graduation and my new freedom for a few days, and I had been planning for it for over a year with my bestie and it was great. I return to settle in and get to know my new housemates. It was great at first, and I feel like I fit in better with them than my friends from school. I get settled into my job, and it's pretty easy. Only pays $16 an hour, but it pays the bills, barely. Which was another thing I have to get used to: making sure that I have enough money for bills for each due date. I didn't know that they fuck you by requiring a 3-day processing time, so even if I pay by the due date, that doesn't include the time it takes them to process my payment, leading me to a late fee. I also didn't realize that canceling a subscription service required me to perform acrobatics like a trained dog through hoops, and I realized that I'm not fully grasping everything. It's all just above my head, thanks, corporations. I feel like I missed a class in school that taught this stuff.
Then my new roommate's boyfriend starts flirting with me whenever she's not around. I realize now that I have this problem with saying no or disappointing people. I felt like I wanted to please him; I want others to be happy, and in my naivety, I played along, which may have given him the green light when in fact I was just emotionally confused. I'm no stranger to sex, but I thought maybe he liked me more than her, and then afterwards, he acted like nothing happened. Then I realized that I like being used, so I keep letting it happen, and for some reason it turns me on. I know that I need to start telling him no, but then I'm like, "Well, just this one more time because it's just kind of exciting sneaking around." Although, we are extra careful to not get caught.
Meanwhile, I'm working in HR next to this older woman, and she was diagnosed with MS and was waiting until she began getting disability payments so that she could quit because she is at a point where she couldn't do it anymore. We get to know each other, and both of her daughters work there as well. They're all very nice. However, I got on the topic where I mentioned that I like older men, and it was a fetish thing I had, and then she tells me about how she can't have sex with her husband in the ways that she used to, and they had been discussing her openness to letting her husband sleep with someone else. I thought the idea sounded intriguing, and ever since I first slept with a much older man, I have often fantasized about it. Before I knew it, I found myself being introduced to her husband. He's like 48, and his birthday is close. I think their idea was for me and him to consummate our new relationship for his birthday, the way I took it, and she had been looking for someone that she trusts for quite a while. She thinks I'm the sweetest angel, and he thinks I'm cute, and they have that mom and dad vibe I like, plus it felt taboo, so it felt like a wild coincidence that this worked out, and that's when I learned what a "unicorn" was and had never heard of that term before.
They've been introducing me as their friend to more of their family, which I feel might come off as weird considering our age differences, but everyone so far has been really nice to me, and they started taking me out to dinner, and recently she helped me with a car payment that I didn't have the money for, and they help me out in various other ways. They feel like a second family, and it was comforting. On his birthday, we all went out, and I left with him to a nice hotel, where I think that was probably the closest thing to the term "making love" that I've ever had. Like, not just the kind of sex that I've experienced, but he really took his time with me, and it was just the most sensual, slow yet hard sex I've ever had. He was awesome. The awkward part was going back, and she wanted to talk to me about how it was. Imagine trying to talk to a woman twice your age about how good her husband was in bed. Awkward and cringy. But now I'm like family, and it's starting to feel a little more normal at this point, except whenever I'm talking to either of their daughters; that can feel a bit weird when I think about it. I feel like I'm their stepmother, but they're both older than me. I don't even know how to process that, but they don't know yet but have started recognizing that I'm over at their parents' house a lot, and my best explanation is that we're friends, and they invited me to dinner. His wife said that I can sleep overnight, but he snores, and she'll sleep in a different room, but I prefer my own bed anyway. So now that whole situation has become a thing, but I do get some anxiety around their family, and I'm not sure how they perceive me yet.
All of this happened within like 6 weeks after leaving home. Now, I got two other middle-aged guys at work who have been flirting with me, and I just started sexting one of them. Meanwhile, I'm trying to keep up on my other responsibilities, and then I get on this site, and I'll get messages from guys who want to chat, and I feel guilty not saying anything, but I don't think I have time for guys online too, plus everything else, and I just feel like I'm over-obligating myself, and I am getting overwhelmed. I know that these guys are only wanting me for sex, and maybe it's because of my age and how I look, but at the same time, it's a mixture of excitement, intrigue, taboo, and fulfillment of things I fantasize about, so it's hard to say no because in a way, it's like a little mini vacation from my financial worries and what the future holds.
I guess I'm afraid that I'm going to screw it all up. One wrong move, and it'll all crash down, and I'll be on the streets or something. Well, I know I could move back home, or I bet my second family would take me in since that's the vibe I keep getting, as if they want me to, but still, there's just these moments where it hits me and I need a hug.
Well, by early June, I just went from my parents' house rules to society's rules, and I think the rules for having to be responsible for myself are much worse, and sometimes I want to go back. I feel like this year was just a flood. Everything is happening quickly at once. I graduated from HS in late May. Then I turned 18, and my dad pulled some strings to get me this job, which is 2.5 hours from home, and I did not want to commute 5 hours a day.
So thanks to Dad's networking skills, he gets me a place to stay with one of his coworker's daughters, and she lives with her boyfriend and one other person, and they needed a roommate to fill a 3rd bedroom. They're all like in their 20s and finishing up college and have these bright futures, and I'm just here, like some lost kid that showed up on their doorstep. So I go on my vacation to celebrate both my graduation and my new freedom for a few days, and I had been planning for it for over a year with my bestie and it was great. I return to settle in and get to know my new housemates. It was great at first, and I feel like I fit in better with them than my friends from school. I get settled into my job, and it's pretty easy. Only pays $16 an hour, but it pays the bills, barely. Which was another thing I have to get used to: making sure that I have enough money for bills for each due date. I didn't know that they fuck you by requiring a 3-day processing time, so even if I pay by the due date, that doesn't include the time it takes them to process my payment, leading me to a late fee. I also didn't realize that canceling a subscription service required me to perform acrobatics like a trained dog through hoops, and I realized that I'm not fully grasping everything. It's all just above my head, thanks, corporations. I feel like I missed a class in school that taught this stuff.
Then my new roommate's boyfriend starts flirting with me whenever she's not around. I realize now that I have this problem with saying no or disappointing people. I felt like I wanted to please him; I want others to be happy, and in my naivety, I played along, which may have given him the green light when in fact I was just emotionally confused. I'm no stranger to sex, but I thought maybe he liked me more than her, and then afterwards, he acted like nothing happened. Then I realized that I like being used, so I keep letting it happen, and for some reason it turns me on. I know that I need to start telling him no, but then I'm like, "Well, just this one more time because it's just kind of exciting sneaking around." Although, we are extra careful to not get caught.
Meanwhile, I'm working in HR next to this older woman, and she was diagnosed with MS and was waiting until she began getting disability payments so that she could quit because she is at a point where she couldn't do it anymore. We get to know each other, and both of her daughters work there as well. They're all very nice. However, I got on the topic where I mentioned that I like older men, and it was a fetish thing I had, and then she tells me about how she can't have sex with her husband in the ways that she used to, and they had been discussing her openness to letting her husband sleep with someone else. I thought the idea sounded intriguing, and ever since I first slept with a much older man, I have often fantasized about it. Before I knew it, I found myself being introduced to her husband. He's like 48, and his birthday is close. I think their idea was for me and him to consummate our new relationship for his birthday, the way I took it, and she had been looking for someone that she trusts for quite a while. She thinks I'm the sweetest angel, and he thinks I'm cute, and they have that mom and dad vibe I like, plus it felt taboo, so it felt like a wild coincidence that this worked out, and that's when I learned what a "unicorn" was and had never heard of that term before.
They've been introducing me as their friend to more of their family, which I feel might come off as weird considering our age differences, but everyone so far has been really nice to me, and they started taking me out to dinner, and recently she helped me with a car payment that I didn't have the money for, and they help me out in various other ways. They feel like a second family, and it was comforting. On his birthday, we all went out, and I left with him to a nice hotel, where I think that was probably the closest thing to the term "making love" that I've ever had. Like, not just the kind of sex that I've experienced, but he really took his time with me, and it was just the most sensual, slow yet hard sex I've ever had. He was awesome. The awkward part was going back, and she wanted to talk to me about how it was. Imagine trying to talk to a woman twice your age about how good her husband was in bed. Awkward and cringy. But now I'm like family, and it's starting to feel a little more normal at this point, except whenever I'm talking to either of their daughters; that can feel a bit weird when I think about it. I feel like I'm their stepmother, but they're both older than me. I don't even know how to process that, but they don't know yet but have started recognizing that I'm over at their parents' house a lot, and my best explanation is that we're friends, and they invited me to dinner. His wife said that I can sleep overnight, but he snores, and she'll sleep in a different room, but I prefer my own bed anyway. So now that whole situation has become a thing, but I do get some anxiety around their family, and I'm not sure how they perceive me yet.
All of this happened within like 6 weeks after leaving home. Now, I got two other middle-aged guys at work who have been flirting with me, and I just started sexting one of them. Meanwhile, I'm trying to keep up on my other responsibilities, and then I get on this site, and I'll get messages from guys who want to chat, and I feel guilty not saying anything, but I don't think I have time for guys online too, plus everything else, and I just feel like I'm over-obligating myself, and I am getting overwhelmed. I know that these guys are only wanting me for sex, and maybe it's because of my age and how I look, but at the same time, it's a mixture of excitement, intrigue, taboo, and fulfillment of things I fantasize about, so it's hard to say no because in a way, it's like a little mini vacation from my financial worries and what the future holds.
I guess I'm afraid that I'm going to screw it all up. One wrong move, and it'll all crash down, and I'll be on the streets or something. Well, I know I could move back home, or I bet my second family would take me in since that's the vibe I keep getting, as if they want me to, but still, there's just these moments where it hits me and I need a hug.
