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I am a man and I am single, but I want to get into BDSM. How should I go about this?
First, determine which part of BDSM are you actually interesting in... bondage? Dominant? Submissive?They don't necessarily all go together.
And are you hetero or gay, as primalex pointed out?
There are dozens of different sub-disciplines of BDSM, some involving pain, some involving humiliation, but they are, by essence, about control and surrender of control.
So, which half are you leaning toward?
First, determine which part of BDSM are you actually interesting in... bondage? Dominant? Submissive?They don't necessarily all go together.
And are you hetero or gay, as primalex pointed out?
There are dozens of different sub-disciplines of BDSM, some involving pain, some involving humiliation, but they are, by essence, about control and surrender of control.
So, which half are you leaning toward?
Just to note, some people into BDSM aren't into power exchange.
Pardon me being unclear... Are you mostly top or mostly bottom? It's okay to be a switch, i.e. both, but which one are you primarily?
(And as been pointed out, not all BDSM are about power exchange, there are nuances in everything)
Sounds like it's time to set up Fetlife profile and see if there's a local dungeon meet you can attend to observe and see what turns you on.
Thanks for clarification. For OP's reference, kinkly has an FAQ on power exchange levels, with 5 generally recognize levels but it's really a spectrum.
https://www.kinkly.com/definition/12056/power-exchange-levels
Well I have set up a fetlife, and did find a kink club here, but I don't really know how it all works
Thanks for clarification. For OP's reference, kinkly has an FAQ on power exchange levels, with 5 generally recognize levels but it's really a spectrum.
https://www.kinkly.com/definition/12056/power-exchange-levels
I have never heard of these levels before. I only mention that so the OP doesn't think this is universally used terminology.
I am a man and I am single, but I want to get into BDSM. How should I go about this?
Being new, you could contact the event organizer for the event you plan to attend. Let them know you're new, and unsure of what you want or are looking for but are keeping an open mind. Most event organizers are very friendly. They'll welcome you and maybe even introduce you to a few people to help get your feet wet and can answer questions you may have.
When you say you don't know how "it" works. What do you mean? BDSM, events, power exchange? I know it's hard to clarify when you're not sure yourself but a few more details or specifics could be helpful.![]()
when I said how "it" works I meant events.
I do not just want to get my kink on. I would love a long term relationship kink included.
as I stated previously I am hetero but would be ok with a transman (f2m)
Pain is mostly what I am looking into if i had to chose one. possibly to include piercing/branding.