Before that hot butt sex session...

[Liar]

...don't forget to bleach your behind.

Yep, it's now official. Vanity knows no limits.

Interresting conversation piece.

"So, what do you do for a living?"

"I make assholes pink."

 

[Quiet_Cool]

Apparently, with the economy down, you can't make moeny unless you're doing something absurdly stupid.

Thanx, Liar.

Q_C

 

[impressive]

I want my brain bleached ... so it looks nice for all the people who fuck with my mind.

 

[R. Richard]

...don't forget to bleach your behind.

Yep, it's now official. Vanity knows no limits.

Interresting conversation piece.

"So, what do you do for a living?"

"I make assholes pink."

I think you are a bit over the top here. If a housewife spends $1,000 per month on makeup, she may be overdoing it. If a film star [any kind of film] spends the same, it may just be what the profession demands. I do know that porn stars routinely bleach/make up the dark area around their anus.

 

[Quiet_Cool]

I want my brain bleached ... so it looks nice for all the people who fuck with my mind.

Tease.



I drew my number, but I'm still waiting my turn...

It's a long line to fuck with your mind...

[Calling number 82...]

Damnit!



Q_C

 

[BlackShanglan]

You know, I really think that some people would be much happier with an inflatable doll with a few digitally recorded set comments it could make.

Bah. Stuff perfection. I prefer the raw animal experience. Nothing's quite such a turnoff as suspecting that your sex partner might be a Barbie doll.

 

[Quiet_Cool]

You know, I really think that some people would be much happier with an inflatable doll with a few digitally recorded set comments it could make.

Bah. Stuff perfection. I prefer the raw animal experience. Nothing's quite such a turnoff as suspecting that your sex partner might be a Barbie doll.

Honestly, I would rather have a live, flesh and blood woman who isn't trying so hard to be perfect, but instead was just comfortable with what she had going for her. It doesn't seem like too many women have an interest in being flesh and blood any more. It's getting to the point where I'm probably going to have to settle for said Barbie Doll.



Q_C

 

[BlackShanglan]

Honestly, I would rather have a live, flesh and blood woman who isn't trying so hard to be perfect, but instead was just comfortable with what she had going for her. It doesn't seem like too many women have an interest in being flesh and blood any more. It's getting to the point where I'm probably going to have to settle for said Barbie Doll.



Q_C

Frightening, isn't it? Plastic people are so unnerving. One never knows whether one might puncture them at an inopportune moment.

That's one of the things I miss enormously now that I am back in the States. I miss television that includes non-plastic life forms. I'm a great fan of "Red Dwarf," and the SO and I miss "Have I Got News for You?" something chronic. I thought it was just the humor that I missed, but then the truth struck me as I was flicking through channels and caught a snippet of "Friends." It wasn't just the humor. It was the real actual people delivering the humor, people who weren't so slick and shined and buffed and gleaming that they looked like they'd just come out of a box or out of four hours with the makeup people.

I miss that.

Shanglan

 

[Guest]

...don't forget to bleach your behind.

Yep, it's now official. Vanity knows no limits.

Interresting conversation piece.

"So, what do you do for a living?"

"I make assholes pink."

I have no response to this.


Winkies of the world, unite!

 

[Rotational]

GOD this is ridiculous!

What if I like 'em brown? Or, you know, looking real and not like plastic?

*sigh* Good reason to fume all day. I hope I don't ever discover a bleached ass on a girl I go out with, that would drive me up the fucking wall.

 

[Honey123]

I just don't think that's right!!

I mean, it's one thing to want to make sure you don't have prickly heat on your butt....that you want to keep your butt tight and try your hardest to have cellulite -free cheeks...but to go so far as to bleach your anus!

When you are being sexual with your partner there, do you actually LOOK at it???? I know I don't! I just toss his salad with much love and affection ...

 

[impressive]

Childbirth often permanently darkens tender tissue.

 

[McKenna]

I want my brain bleached ... so it looks nice for all the people who fuck with my mind.

Ha! This was so funny it deserves the McKenna Repeat of the Day! Whoop!

 

[Guest]

You know, I really think that some people would be much happier with an inflatable doll with a few digitally recorded set comments it could make.

And what would your preference? A hobby horse, or a retired Carousel horse?

 

[Quiet_Cool]

Frightening, isn't it? Plastic people are so unnerving. One never knows whether one might puncture them at an inopportune moment.

That's one of the things I miss enormously now that I am back in the States. I miss television that includes non-plastic life forms. I'm a great fan of "Red Dwarf," and the SO and I miss "Have I Got News for You?" something chronic. I thought it was just the humor that I missed, but then the truth struck me as I was flicking through channels and caught a snippet of "Friends." It wasn't just the humor. It was the real actual people delivering the humor, people who weren't so slick and shined and buffed and gleaming that they looked like they'd just come out of a box or out of four hours with the makeup people.

I miss that.

Shanglan

True. I have always felt that people who were oless-attractive tend to make better comedians. "Married... With Children" was one of my favorite shows to watch, but watching Al Bundy give Peggy his reasons for not wanting sex somehow never quite matched the words "I told you, I've got a headache" as delivered by Onslow (sp?) to Daisy on "Keeping up Appearances."

Never really considered why that was until now.

Q_C

 

[CharleyH]

...don't forget to bleach your behind.

Yep, it's now official. Vanity knows no limits.

Interresting conversation piece.

"So, what do you do for a living?"

"I make assholes pink."

I am sure MJ heard about it before all of us. Whatever happened to au natural sex (sans hair, of course)?

 

[Rotational]

au natural sex (sans hair, of course)?

That's the most ironic thing I've read all day.

 

[shereads]

Heehee.

"Pink Cheeks" Salon. God bless America!

 

[shereads]

Honestly, I would rather have a live, flesh and blood woman who isn't trying so hard to be perfect, but instead was just comfortable with what she had going for her.

Ahem. Let's not forget that one of the reasons so few "flesh and blood women" are comfortable with what they have going for them is that they've seen the difference in the way men respond to perfect and less-than-perfect.

Women, in general, are attracted to men for a variety of reasons, of which appearance is one component. (For proof, I offer Woody Allen. If he were a she, and that physically imperfect, her bed would be a lonely place no matter how brilliant and funny.) Men, on average - and this is something men have told me, not something I've made up - are visual creatures.

Of course you prefer natural beauty. But the key word is still beauty. Let a woman be natural and flat-chested, natural and buck-toothed, natural with blotchy skin, natural and balding, natural with a beer-belly, natural with wrinkles, natural and has never shaved her legs, natural with a hairy back and linebacker hands, and most men would never take a second look.

We're not idiots. Do you think we like being high-maintenance? We'd all like to be natural. Natural would be so much easier than wearing make-up so we look our best, and getting our hair done so it flatters our faces, and having pedicures so our toenails will look dainty, and seeing the dermatologist routinely to make our skin look nice as we age. We'd much rather just hop out of the shower in the morning and be ready to dress and leave the hosue. But we know what gets us admired and what gets us dismissed.

Appearance isn't everything to most men any more than it is to moet women. But without looking great, a woman rarely reaches the point in a relationship where her other attributes can be admired.*

From cradle to grave, females are inundated with cultural signals that physical perfection is the thing most valued in women. Far down on the list of things we're encouraged to be is "comfortable with what we have."

Butt-bleaching is still pretty funny.




*Edited to add: Of course, I'm talking about first impressions here. It is to be hoped that a bleached or non-bleached anus wouldn't become relevent until the second or even third impression.



"Check out the rack on that redhead, Earl."

"Yeah. Great anus, too. Nice and white."

"You think it's bleached?"

"I hope not. I like my women natural."

 

[BlackShanglan]

And what would your preference? A hobby horse, or a retired Carousel horse?

Oh, I like nature in all of her raw glory. Give me a wild-eyed Przewalski in shaggy winter coat or a rough-maned Shire fresh from the fields. Wouldn't say no to zebra if I thought I was in their league.

Shanglan

 

[Guest]

*Edited to add: Of course, I'm talking about first impressions here. It is to be hoped that a bleached or non-bleached anus wouldn't become relevent until the second or even third impression.



"Check out the rack on that redhead, Earl."

"Yeah. Great anus, too. Nice and white."

"You think it's bleached?"

"I hope not. I like my women natural."

Oh, damn.

That was good for a coffee spew this morning.

 

[shereads]

Oh, damn.

That was good for a coffee spew this morning.

Been drinking more coffee than you spew? BriteSmile® can whiten your teeth as white as your anus in under an hour. It's unnatural and it hurts a little, because of the lasers, but ~

I wonder if Pink Cheeks uses lasers!

 

[Guest]

Been drinking more coffee than you spew? BriteSmile® can whiten your teeth as white as your anus in under an hour. It's unnatural and it hurts a little, because of the lasers, but ~

I wonder if Pink Cheeks uses lasers!

I imagine the procedure would take less time . . .

 

[BlackShanglan]

Vanity, thy name is horse ...

I actually had my teeth bleached at one point. I received a bit too much fluoride as a child, and it had created some rather pronounced yellow staining that my mother - bless her heart - was good enough to point out. What, indeed, are mothers for? (Although it was amusing when I was eventuallly able to inform her that it was the fluoride treatments she'd dragged me to as a child that had done it.)

My advice would be not to do whitening unless you are truly miserable about the issue - so miserable that recurrent pain would be preferable. The bleaching process (possibly combined with a rather rough dentist's cleaning) made my bottom front middle teeth so sensitive that simply drawing a breath of cool air over them while walking my dog left me doubled over with pain. It was quite some time after I stopped using the whitener before the sensitivity lessened, and it's really never returned to its original state. My dentist also neglected to ask what sort of toothpaste I used (this really was a rather bad dentist) and as a result did not warn me that whiteners and baking soda toothpaste are a vey bad combination. I had a severe reaction between the two on one spot that permanently damaged the gum - it's higher up that tooth and won't be growing back.

All a lesson on the dangers of vanity and the desirability of occasionally telling one's mother to mind her own business. Fortunately, I can see the humor in this; it's a sort of fitting irony that someone as thoroughly uninterested in dress and appearance as I generally am would be the one to suffer this particular train of disasters. It has certainly taught me to heed my ingrained distaste for such frippery.

Shanglan