Beer vs. Poon-Tang

[Guest]

Beer vs. Poon-Tang
Finally, the truth is calculated and cannot be disputed.

Beer is always wet.
Poon-Tang needs encouragement.
Winner: Beer

Beer tastes horrible served hot.
Poon-Tang tastes better served hot.
Winner: Poon-Tang

Having an ice cold Beer makes you satisfied.
Having an ice cold Poon-Tang makes you Hillary Clinton.
Winner: Beer

Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones.
Poon-Tang does not.
Winner: None

If you get a hair in your teeth consuming Poon-Tang, you are not disgusted.
Winner: Poon-Tang

Twenty-four Beers come in a box.
Poon-Tang is a box you can come in.
Winner: Poon-Tang

Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer.
Winner: Poon-Tang

If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible.
Winner: Beer

If you come home smelling like Beer, the layd may get mad.
If you come home smelling like Poon-Tang, she will definitely get mad.
Winner: Beer

Six Beers in a night and you better not drive.
Six Poon-Tangs in a night and you have done all the driving you need.
Winner: Poon-Tang

Buy too much Beer and you will get fat.
Buy too much Poon-Tang and you will get poor.
Winner: None

It is socially acceptable to have a Beer in the stands at a football game.
Getting Poon-Tang in the stands at a football game makes you a legend.
Winner: Poon-Tang

If a cop smells Beer on your breath, you get a arrested..
If a cop smells Poon-Tang on your breath, you get a high-five.
Winner: Poon-Tang

With Beer, bigger is better.
Winner: Beer

Wearing a condom does not make Beer any less enjoyable.
Winner: Beer

Poon-Tang makes you see God.
Beer makes you see the porcelain God.
Winner: Poon-Tang

If you think all day about your next Poon-Tang you are normal.
If you think all day about your next Beer you are an alcoholic.
Winner: Poon-Tang

Peeling labels off of Beers is fun.
Peeling panties off of Poon-Tang is more fun.
Winner: Poon-Tang

Snagging Beer at work gets you fired.
Snagging Poon-Tang at work gets you charged with sexual harassment.
Winner: None

If you drop a Beer it breaks.
If you drop Poon-Tang, it may hunt you down like the dog you are.
Winner: Beer

If you change to another Beer, your old brand will gladly have you back.
Winner: Beer

The best Poon-Tang you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Winner: Poon-Tang.

The worst Poon-Tang you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Winner: Beer

Bad Beer: Schlitz, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Old Swill.
Bad Poon-Tang: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright.
Winner: None

Good beer: Guinness, Sam Adams, Killian's Red
Good Poon-Tang: Almost all but the above.
Winner: Poon-Tang

The government taxes Beer.
Woman tax their Poon.
Winner: None

Too much Beer results in a headache.
Too much Poon-Tang results in a Willie-ache, but that's a good kind of ache!
Winner: Poon-Tang

Grab the wrong Beer and your drinking buddy gets pissed.
Grab the wrong Poon-Tang and her boyfriend kicks your ass!
Winner: Beer

Beer=10
Poon-Tang=13

The numbers never lie. The winner is Poon-Tang!

 

[destinie21]

lol I agree with the vote but I"m adding poon-tang to the list of words I never want used to describe my twat.

 

[Guest]

I couldn't get past 10 lines. You can keep poon tang. I vote this the silliest thread ever.

Perdita

 

[Guest]

Yay! Another silly thread! I love it!

Poon-tang, what an expression!? Cool result, and the right result.

Lou

 

[shereads]

If you have to buy it, you are not only becoming poor but doing something poorly.

 

[dirtylover]

re

i'm drunk.............again, got shouted at by a bouncer, think she was a woman, but couldn't tell. I vote for pooootanng, since that ms tbe woman, right?

 

[destinie21]

Re: re

i'm drunk.............again, got shouted at by a bouncer, think she was a woman, but couldn't tell. I vote for pooootanng, since that ms tbe woman, right?

Looks like your fingers took a break at the end of your post

 

[Guest]

I couldn't get past 10 lines. You can keep poon tang. I vote this the silliest thread ever.

Perdita

I'm sure I can come up with something, if someone beats me out on "Silliest thread ever" contest.

J

 

[Guest]

J, I'm sure you can too. P.

 

[dirtylover]

re

Apparently I was taking a pee in a doorway. The bouncer asked if I would like her topee in my doorway. Don't think the answer I gave was teh right one. Not sure what I was doing with my fingers.

 

[Guest]

lol I agree with the vote but I"m adding poon-tang to the list of words I never want used to describe my twat.

To quote my old Grand Pa " Yur Grannie het the best poon-tang in the county, thets why I murried hur!"

LOL! Man he was funny!!

J

 

[Dirt Man]

If you think Poon-tang is bad, you should hear what else they used to call a vagina down south. Now I don't know if they still do, but south of the mason dixen those good ole boys use to call pussy: cock. You can therefore imagine my surprise when in Bootcamp in the US Navy several southern guys openly talked about how they loved eating cock. Now being gay in the US Armed Forces is a BIG no, no. So you can imagine what it was like back before there was even a gay movement in America. So when someone in our company from New York asked these guys if they were queer, the entire company was listening. As it turned out they weren't talking about penises at all, they were talking about vaginas. When we explained that everybody else in the company called their dicks a cock, and pussy a cunt they stopped using that word, and used poon-tang instead. Somehow, their calling it poon-tang suddenly gave their stories a whole lot dirtier meaning after that for some reason. And more than one guy in our company promised to check out the southern babes when we got out of the service after that.

As Always
I Am the
Dirt Man