Been reading

[Stella_Omega]

Well stated. I'm only 3 years actively into the lifestyle, so I would have agree with you there. There is a tendency to try to be tough and hard and serious and stern all of the time. It's not about that. It's about being yourself and having fun, as well as helping the bottom have fun and be himself/herself too. It took me a little while to realize that.

As always, you have useful remarks and advice on that topic.

*Sigh of relief* Thank you Sev, I try!

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

*Sigh of relief* Thank you Sev, I try!

You're welcum. It sounds like you have a wealth of personal experience, which doesn't hurt for the rest of us to benefit from hearing (or is that reading).

 

[neonlyte]

That's a good sign of a healthy libido. Or did you mean to WEAR her undies? Well, that's just being yourself too, which is healthy as well.

No, not WEAR. We've been married thirty-one years and she still, nine times out of ten makes sure she dresses or undresses in the morning or the evening where I can watch. You can never tire of somethings, it's always different, less an exhibition and more a performance.

 

[Stella_Omega]

You're welcum. It sounds like you have a wealth of personal experience, which doesn't hurt for the rest of us to benefit from hearing (or is that reading).

Yes, and I'm of an age now where I'm inclined to thump my cane on the floor and lay down the law to all you young whippersnappers
except- I'm still too young for that...
Well, anyways-

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Yes, and I'm of an age now where I'm inclined to thump my cane on the floor and lay down the law to all you young whippersnappers
except- I'm still too young for that...
Well, anyways-

No need for embarrassment there.

 

[BlackSnake]

Depends on if I'm about to cum or not

 

[Guest]

 

[ABSTRUSE]

I see we are bored again, eh?

Perhaps you should have Shereads conduct a poll?

I do like what vella had to say...which makes me gag to think I agreed with something vella said....

but, does being domme or sub actually come out when not involved in a sexual situation? or is it a matter of a person's personality?

 

[elsol]

Subaru?

Sincerely,
ElSol

 

[Lucifer_Carroll]

Well my SO is a switch and I am a side.

Basically I'm completely not in the BDSM world. I suck at being a Domme. I'm too boring and pain-resistant and whatnot to be a sub. I don't top or bottom really, so I just side. I just do sex as is needed, when is needed, how is requested and I get my pleasure by how well I do my job and she seems to be enjoying it. Could likely well be the result of my sexuality that I'm off the map, but so be it.

I think it's possible for many other to be sides as well. That it isn't the act of being on top or bottom in a power dynamic that is pleasurable but merely the sharing of pleasure. That sex can exist outside the power dynamic and one can bring pleasure quite easily and satisfactorily without one dominating the other or whatnot. This is definitely not the case with all, but I suspect the joking levels of the responses show it is at least a sizeable group of people who just simply don't care if they are on top, bottom, or side-by-side or prefer side-by-side.


And what about sub-par?

 

[LadyJeanne]

I think it's possible for many other to be sides as well. That it isn't the act of being on top or bottom in a power dynamic that is pleasurable but merely the sharing of pleasure. That sex can exist outside the power dynamic and one can bring pleasure quite easily and satisfactorily without one dominating the other or whatnot.

*nods vehemently*

Yes, you are absolutely 100% correct on this. Thank you.

 

[matriarch]

Actually no - waiting - wondering ... what is your thought ... are you strong? Weak? Dom? I say sub

I'm weak.......when she touches me.
I'm strong......where her protection and well being is concerned.
Dom?????.......Charley sweetheart, even for you that's not something I intend to share here.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Oops, found out that I can't PM you the sites. In that case, I can PM you my IM, and send you the links that way. Or my e-mail address, at any rate. Don't want to violate Lit policy, but I do want to get you the info, if you're interested in exploring that part of yourself. That's up to you, Honey, but it's a standing offer.

Failing that, Stella is no doubt a good mentor. I'm sure that she would help you if you asked her nice. Of course, she might kill me for volunteering her.

I'd be your mentor, but I don't know if you'd be comfortable with that or not.