DVS
A ghost from your dreams
- Joined
- Apr 17, 2002
- Posts
- 11,416
I've experienced both sides of the issue. And being a single guy, sometimes I come out OK. I've been catered to by girl friends and wives of friends to the point my friends almost assume something is brewing between us. It's just that I'm a conscientious guest and try to be as little of a burden as possible. I think the wives/girlfriends notice this and appreciate me. At least I like to think that's so. 
But, I don't sleep well, unless I'm in my own bed. It's just a thing with me. It doesn't happen in a hotel, but if I'm sleeping in someone else's house, I tend to hear all of the noises that houses make and because I'm a light sleeper, I don't sleep well. In a hotel, I can turn on the AC or even leave the TV on set to a station of white noise and sleep perfectly fine. But, I don't feel secure in doing that at a friend's house.
And when I've mentioned that I don't sleep well in a strange bed and that's why I prefer a hotel, sometimes I get a hurt look from my friends, but sometimes I also get relief. It depends on the friend. In the past, I traveled a lot, but in the last 20 years, my life has changed and I don't get to leave the city as much as I once did. I think my ways have become hardwired and so any traveling I'd do now would surely necessitate a hotel. They get paid to cater to your needs so I have no issue in needing.
I once had a friend who would come to visit. He would almost always have a girlfriend with him, and they always showed up without any notice. But, I had known this guy for my whole life so he was like a brother to me. We had no issues with talking straight about what bothered us and I don't think we ever had a fight. We did have arguments, but they were never heated.
Though the years, his girlfriends would change, and so they seemed less than at ease about staying in a single guy's house. And although my friend never said anything to me about it I could tell the girls were not upset, but felt they were taking advantage of me. I'd always mention this to my friend, but he would always brush it off as a non issue. Of course, he was totally at ease so he didn't think there was a problem.
He'd walk around my house nearly nude, because he did that at his own house. It didn't bother me, but I could tell his girls were concerned if it did. After a while, they understood how good friends we were and that whatever my friend did was just fine with me. But, it would take a while for all of this to evolve, because he never prepared his girlfriends for his visits with me.
He was my best friend, but I sometimes wish he would have better prepared them. But, in hindsight, it was fun to watch their astonished expressions when he literally made himself to home. Sadly, he died suddenly in '94 at the young age of 42 and I haven't had any overnight guests since then.
I lived in Atlanta for a couple of years back when I was in my late 20s. Once I moved back here, a couple that were dating decided to get married. By this time, I was nearly 30. I was sent an invitation to not just come to the wedding, but because the groom (he was a drummer) and I had played in a band together, the band was going to get back together for the event, too. So, that meant I had to ship my equipment down there, store it and spend nearly a week as someone's guest.
I wanted to get a hotel room, but because we were all such good friends, the offer went out that nobody was allowed to spend any money on a place to stay. There would be enough room for everybody who wanted to show up. In fact, the bride said that she would be hurt, if anybody did get a hotel.
So, I shipped my stuff down and it arrived and was being stored in a secure location. I flew down there and contrary to what I had been told, I wasn't met by the groom or the bride at the airport. I was met by people I didn't even know. Well, I think I had maybe met them once. They didn't have a sign or anything, so I was looking for my friends. I was a bit startled when they approached me.
After the trek for my bags (Atlanta's airport and I never got along), it was explained to me that I would be their house guest for the duration of the visit. And it was also explained that the wife and groom would make an appearance "in a day or two". They were busy with other guests who were staying with them. So, I was quickly finding out that my presence at this deal wasn't as convenient as I had been told. If I'd known these circumstances before, I would have just sent a congrats card.
This was back before cell phones and email, or any other quick methods of communication. And the bride and groom had recently moved to a larger place, just in time for the marriage so, I didn't know where this was, or even know the phone number. So, no communication, no transportation and I was stuck with these near strangers for the next couple of days? I was probably too easy going, but that was just me. I could have asked for the groom's phone number and requested different arrangements, but I could handle some semi-strange people for a couple of days, if it meant the wedding stayed a happy event.
The sleeping arrangements weren't that bad. I was sleeping in what looked like a summer porch that had been converted into a room. it was wide open, with no doors that closed, let alone lock. I slept on a futon, but I was able to deal with all of that.
I didn't know the wedding schedule, and because I hadn't had any contact with anybody I really knew, I was pretty much totally at the mercy of my two hosts for that. One early afternoon, I was told we needed to go to the rehearsal and dinner. Atlanta is hot and humid in the summer, so I wanted to take a shower, first. I'm sure I didn't look good, and I probably even smelled.
Well, I was allowed to shower. The guy asked if I wouldn't mind going first, and I agreed. I like showers, because they are quick. But, I guess I wasn't quick enough, because I wasn't quite dry when there came a knock on the door asking if I could vacate the bathroom, because "we are running late". I was OK with that, but still thought it was a bit rude that they had made time for them to shower and such, but hadn't thought that I would maybe want to shower, too.
Once on the way to the dinner, I was given what I would term as a lecture that I didn't live with mommy and daddy and should be more considerate about people's time. I didn't know these people and so I wasn't really sure I was hearing what I was hearing, but I guess they thought I was still living at home and was a spoiled kid who got everything he wanted from mommy.
Yes, I know I didn't look my age, but I'd been on my own for more than 10 years. And I'm pretty sure I was older than both of them. I didn't say anything, because I didn't want to start a scene that might invade the rehearsal and dinner. I was glad the wedding was the next day.
The next day went fine, and I was the first to leave town, even if it was against the bride's wishes. I never said anything about my hosts. but to this day, I have no idea what was going on, and sadly, I have never been back to see my friends. I'm pretty much a homebody, these days.
But, I don't sleep well, unless I'm in my own bed. It's just a thing with me. It doesn't happen in a hotel, but if I'm sleeping in someone else's house, I tend to hear all of the noises that houses make and because I'm a light sleeper, I don't sleep well. In a hotel, I can turn on the AC or even leave the TV on set to a station of white noise and sleep perfectly fine. But, I don't feel secure in doing that at a friend's house.
And when I've mentioned that I don't sleep well in a strange bed and that's why I prefer a hotel, sometimes I get a hurt look from my friends, but sometimes I also get relief. It depends on the friend. In the past, I traveled a lot, but in the last 20 years, my life has changed and I don't get to leave the city as much as I once did. I think my ways have become hardwired and so any traveling I'd do now would surely necessitate a hotel. They get paid to cater to your needs so I have no issue in needing.
I once had a friend who would come to visit. He would almost always have a girlfriend with him, and they always showed up without any notice. But, I had known this guy for my whole life so he was like a brother to me. We had no issues with talking straight about what bothered us and I don't think we ever had a fight. We did have arguments, but they were never heated.
Though the years, his girlfriends would change, and so they seemed less than at ease about staying in a single guy's house. And although my friend never said anything to me about it I could tell the girls were not upset, but felt they were taking advantage of me. I'd always mention this to my friend, but he would always brush it off as a non issue. Of course, he was totally at ease so he didn't think there was a problem.
He'd walk around my house nearly nude, because he did that at his own house. It didn't bother me, but I could tell his girls were concerned if it did. After a while, they understood how good friends we were and that whatever my friend did was just fine with me. But, it would take a while for all of this to evolve, because he never prepared his girlfriends for his visits with me.
He was my best friend, but I sometimes wish he would have better prepared them. But, in hindsight, it was fun to watch their astonished expressions when he literally made himself to home. Sadly, he died suddenly in '94 at the young age of 42 and I haven't had any overnight guests since then.
I lived in Atlanta for a couple of years back when I was in my late 20s. Once I moved back here, a couple that were dating decided to get married. By this time, I was nearly 30. I was sent an invitation to not just come to the wedding, but because the groom (he was a drummer) and I had played in a band together, the band was going to get back together for the event, too. So, that meant I had to ship my equipment down there, store it and spend nearly a week as someone's guest.
I wanted to get a hotel room, but because we were all such good friends, the offer went out that nobody was allowed to spend any money on a place to stay. There would be enough room for everybody who wanted to show up. In fact, the bride said that she would be hurt, if anybody did get a hotel.
So, I shipped my stuff down and it arrived and was being stored in a secure location. I flew down there and contrary to what I had been told, I wasn't met by the groom or the bride at the airport. I was met by people I didn't even know. Well, I think I had maybe met them once. They didn't have a sign or anything, so I was looking for my friends. I was a bit startled when they approached me.
After the trek for my bags (Atlanta's airport and I never got along), it was explained to me that I would be their house guest for the duration of the visit. And it was also explained that the wife and groom would make an appearance "in a day or two". They were busy with other guests who were staying with them. So, I was quickly finding out that my presence at this deal wasn't as convenient as I had been told. If I'd known these circumstances before, I would have just sent a congrats card.
This was back before cell phones and email, or any other quick methods of communication. And the bride and groom had recently moved to a larger place, just in time for the marriage so, I didn't know where this was, or even know the phone number. So, no communication, no transportation and I was stuck with these near strangers for the next couple of days? I was probably too easy going, but that was just me. I could have asked for the groom's phone number and requested different arrangements, but I could handle some semi-strange people for a couple of days, if it meant the wedding stayed a happy event.
The sleeping arrangements weren't that bad. I was sleeping in what looked like a summer porch that had been converted into a room. it was wide open, with no doors that closed, let alone lock. I slept on a futon, but I was able to deal with all of that.
I didn't know the wedding schedule, and because I hadn't had any contact with anybody I really knew, I was pretty much totally at the mercy of my two hosts for that. One early afternoon, I was told we needed to go to the rehearsal and dinner. Atlanta is hot and humid in the summer, so I wanted to take a shower, first. I'm sure I didn't look good, and I probably even smelled.
Well, I was allowed to shower. The guy asked if I wouldn't mind going first, and I agreed. I like showers, because they are quick. But, I guess I wasn't quick enough, because I wasn't quite dry when there came a knock on the door asking if I could vacate the bathroom, because "we are running late". I was OK with that, but still thought it was a bit rude that they had made time for them to shower and such, but hadn't thought that I would maybe want to shower, too.
Once on the way to the dinner, I was given what I would term as a lecture that I didn't live with mommy and daddy and should be more considerate about people's time. I didn't know these people and so I wasn't really sure I was hearing what I was hearing, but I guess they thought I was still living at home and was a spoiled kid who got everything he wanted from mommy.
Yes, I know I didn't look my age, but I'd been on my own for more than 10 years. And I'm pretty sure I was older than both of them. I didn't say anything, because I didn't want to start a scene that might invade the rehearsal and dinner. I was glad the wedding was the next day.
The next day went fine, and I was the first to leave town, even if it was against the bride's wishes. I never said anything about my hosts. but to this day, I have no idea what was going on, and sadly, I have never been back to see my friends. I'm pretty much a homebody, these days.
