...be a best man?

[shiny5437]

Well, my oldest mate is finally getting hitched which is fabulous and he has asked me to be his best man. Great news but I'm a bit unsure of what that actually means having never been married myself. In all honesty I thought he would ask his bro so was a bit unprepared.

So my questions are which I hope the board can help with:

1) What does a best man actually do? I know I stand next to him and make bit of a speech later on but what else?

2) How do you do a best man speech? I've spoken publicly with work and done a little am-dram back at uni so I'm more worried about the content side of things. Now I come to think of it I don't really know him that well. We live in separate cities and don't really see each other that much - although when we do get together it's cool. Plus when we were kids we mostly spent times playing swingball, videogames and smoking a little cannabis: things that won't make for good stories.

So any ideas how to approach this? What have other litsters best man experiences been like?

Thanks!

 

[silverwhisper]

congratulations, shiny! this is a great honor you've been given!

i've not myself been a best man, but my brother served at my own wedding. based on that and other experiences: traditionally, the best man has the following duties/obligations:

1. organize the bachelor party.
2. bring the groom's ring--and sometimes, the groom--to the ceremony.
3. otherwise do things the groom needs done on the day of the wedding, but cannot himself do.
4. make the toast at the reception.

there's more--this particular link looks like it isn't insultingly thorough--but i think you get the idea.

does that help?

ed

 

[Eilan]

What does a best man actually do?

Well, if you were my ex-brother-in-law, you'd complain about how cheap-looking the tuxedos were while at the same time admitting that you couldn't afford to rent one. And you wouldn't give a speech, either.

Not that I'm bitter or anything. . .

 

[CherryBomb24]

my brother recently got married, i was a bridesmaid.
But i had a talk with my other brother, who was the best man, out of curiousity.
I had asked him the same thing lol
basically his responsibilities were.
--taking care of the rings then give them to the little ring bearer as he gets closer to the platform.
--organize the bachelor party.
--pick up the groom and 'deliver' him to the church
--toast at the reception with all the grimmy stories of childhood lol
--helped with tuxes and organizing the other gents, made sure they all had their boutineers on correctly and cufflings. Brought hair gel and cologne for the gents incase they didnt have time/ forgot or whatever other excuse.
--basically anything the groom couldnt do.

one thing he did that was special to everyone, especially the bride / groom.
he set up a video of a bunch of childhood pictures of each. -- new born for both, 3 years old for both, 8 years old for both and so on. Even the really embaressing pictures lol which were hilarious for the rest of us. One was my brother - the groom - dressed as a woman. wig / make up / dress and shoes lol Dont be afraid to get mean with that one lol

 

[shiny5437]

Thanks folks!

I didn't even know about the ring business and packing suitcases and paying vicars etc: that was really useful. I'm pretty organised so that side of things so it should be fairly doable

Cherrybomb24 - I don't think I have any photos of when we were younger but you did give me the idea of colluding with his folks for inspiration.

The only outstanding thing that worries me is the speech. Does anyone have any tips on the sorts of things to include? How long need it be? What's in it apart from corny jokes?

 

[CherryBomb24]

Thanks folks!

I didn't even know about the ring business and packing suitcases and paying vicars etc: that was really useful. I'm pretty organised so that side of things so it should be fairly doable

Cherrybomb24 - I don't think I have any photos of when we were younger but you did give me the idea of colluding with his folks for inspiration.

The only outstanding thing that worries me is the speech. Does anyone have any tips on the sorts of things to include? How long need it be? What's in it apart from corny jokes?

sincerity.