BDSM story help

[Macro7]

I sent in a 3 part series called The Doorway (Female BDSM). The ratings were fair but I should have done better. I requested editor help (parts 2&3) but none were available. So is there anyone out there wanting and able to help me redo the story? Part 1 was okay, the rest faultered. Any advise would be appreciated. A lady was kind enough to give me her insights anomalously that I wish I could have conversed about the plot. As such I'm looking for help from more experienced writers.
Part 1 http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=255582
part 2 http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=270609
part 3 http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=275293