BDSM Stories: Review and Discussion thread

[MissTaken]

Taking off on an idea in another thread, here, we will post a link to a story.

Then, the story can be reviewed for technical or artistic merit or we can have an open discussion concerning the ideas, philosophies or presentation of BDSM.

However you wish!

I thought I would select the story that started it all for me, "The Weekend" by JackCummings. This was my first taste into BDSM and the story started a journey that has led me places I never dreamed.

So, let's discuss!

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=4347

 

[MissTaken]

And for something newer

"Michael Mine"

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=76496

 

[cindy4u]

Off topic perhaps, but am I the only one that thinks that BDSM needs to be sub devided?

With nearly 3000 stories, perhaps it should be split into Male Dom / fem sub, Fem Dom / male sub etc?

 

[dragonlace]

good story .............but i don't really know about the whole drug thing. i would tend to think that drugs would alter the mental state but how can one be consensual if they are not thinking clearly?.........hmmm maybe i am just being difficult

god the thought of being teased to that point over and over just makes me tremble though....i can honestly say that would push me to the brink and back again

 

[MissTaken]

good story .............but i don't really know about the whole drug thing. i would tend to think that drugs would alter the mental state but how can one be consensual if they are not thinking clearly?.........hmmm maybe i am just being difficult

Hmm is it truly consensual sex if there is drug use involved?

Good question!

 

[SexyChele]

I thought I would select the story that started it all for me, "The Weekend" by JackCummings. This was my first taste into BDSM and the story started a journey that has led me places I never dreamed.

So, let's discuss!

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=4347

Well, as simply a story of sexual teasing, this story does its job. It is very erotic.

I wasn't as thrilled with it, mostly due to the fact that it is written in second person, with mixed tenses. Second person always seems jarring to me and has a tendency to turn me off from the very beginning.

Also, some of the wording could have been redone. In one part, the author speaks of a clit as being "wild-eyed". I've never seen that before. Also, I've never seen a woman's pussy drip down her legs, to the floor. Interesting visual.

I saw quite a few technical problems, but as far as being a piece to tease and get some off, it does the trick.

Also, I know this is only fantasy, but I had difficulty getting past the drug usage. Guess that's just because it's a limit for me. Besides, if one smokes hash, doesn't that make one incredibly hungry? This poor woman goes over 24 hours without a single thing to eat. Not that is punishment in and of itself! The "munchies" and being denied food!

 

[NemoAlia]

Still, Chele, this is one of the few second-person stories that have so successfully kept my attention. Often I can't get past the first paragraph in them, especially when they're written in present or future tense.

Speaking of tense, perhaps Mr. Cummings was aiming to reinforce the idea of confused time (the sub's experience with hash) by mixing up his tenses a little. Whaddya think?

Anyway, MissT, I can totally see how this story would have gotten you hooked.

 

[WriterDom]

I have yet to release a quart of cum on my second orgasm. First perhaps, but I have to struggle to get a pint on the second.

 

[WriterDom]

I will offer this one up as the story of the day. I was not familar with E.Z.Riter until this morning. I thought it was a good read.


Karen
by E.Z.Riter


http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=54105

 

[Pure]

Hi Miss T,

It's an interesting read. The second person is not too jarring. It can be done. The writer had to abandon the present tense about half way through. Understandably.

Some of the comments seem a bit picky. It doesn't say a quart was ejaculated. It doesn't say pussy juices alone drpped down the legs, it's the apres sex mixture, and that's quite believable, eh SC?

To me the story is competent, but not highly imaginative.

As to its philosophy, it apparently is the dommes desire to give the sub as 'punishment'--or after it-- one hell of an orgasm. And that orgasm remains central in the sub's mind. In my view, then, the story leans towards romance primarily.

In a sense the domme is providing a sexual service, in a kind of d/s role reversal.

Now there are many reasons for engaging in bondage, and kinky stuff. No one is more 'valid' than any other. For some it's 'play', to heighten senses, and contribute to mutual attainments. The 'dom' or 'sub' are essentially role played, just like, say, 'doctor' and 'nurse' in a medical scene. That's fine for those who want it, and lots of fun.

This particular sub, has what Eb calls the 'female sub' orientation, which is highly self centred and not geared to serve, i.e., not truly to submit to anyone, including the master; that is to say, to allow the master's desires and agenda to be in the driver's seat, in and of themselves not as means to one's own mind blowing orgasm. It's the lack of real submission that makes it more an appealing romance than a d/s tale. It's like, in a romance novel, when a 'heroine' is kidnapped by a dark and handsome 'robber', but not brutalized, and 'forced' to hot sex, but knows, because he's a gentleman, there's no danger and that she'll be returned home enormously satisfied. The 'danger' is more apparent, and merely to heighten the sex.

None of this is to say that 'romance' is not a valid pursuit. Those who want romantic bdsm-appearing scenes have every right to their preferences.

Just my aberrant, curmudgeonly, and idiosyncratic opinions, for what they're worth.

 

[Pure]

Here is my suggestion for discussion, if people are interested.

The writer zenwstick has done some good pieces, imo; characters are well developed and he has an excellent understanding of principles:

(I think you, Miss T would like the first one.)

Submission of Mary, ch 1

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=32985

For those wanting something a little 'harder,' his

Auction of a slave

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=31818

 

[SexyChele]

Still, Chele, this is one of the few second-person stories that have so successfully kept my attention. Often I can't get past the first paragraph in them, especially when they're written in present or future tense.

Speaking of tense, perhaps Mr. Cummings was aiming to reinforce the idea of confused time (the sub's experience with hash) by mixing up his tenses a little. Whaddya think?

Anyway, MissT, I can totally see how this story would have gotten you hooked.

Second person POV can work for many people. It seldom, if ever works for me. The major reason it doesn't is the very reason an author would use it: to cause me to consider what is happening in the story is actually happening to me. I think it's presumptuous in many ways. By stating "you" in the story, my brain is stating, "no, I wouldn't do/say/act that way." Therefore, I'm having mental gymnastics with the author's writing and it no longer is enjoyable.

Another major problem with second person POV is exactly the tenses. It is very difficult to keep the tense throughout the story. Second person almost demands present tense usage, and that is difficult to maintain.

Of course, writing is subjective, and these are only my thoughts.

And, my, it looks like I have quite a bit of reading to catch up on!

 

[agoodgirl]

I do not know how often I will post here but I wanted to acknowledge your efforts Miss Taken. I registered so I could post my question out of simple curiousity. I did not want to stir up trouble. I am glad to see that perhaps I did not.

I have read "Micheal Mine". I found it interesting. It was very well executed. I found the perspective and actions of the male submissive intriging. As an woman learning about submissiveness personally it was fascinating to view it from the male perspective. The Domme character was one I previously have had a difficult time envisioning. This story did a good job of illustrating the dynamics of a female dominant to a male submissive.

I have not seen the name Jocelyn Joyce on this board. Perhaps I have simply missed it. I mentioned reading a story by a woman whose name I do see on this board sometimes recently. I hope she will not mind if I suggest one of her stories.

http://literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=75815

I found this one interesting to read, I imagine that the first time submitting to a dominant could be like this.

 

[MissTaken]

Here is my suggestion for discussion, if people are interested.

(I think you, Miss T would like the first one.)

Submission of Mary, ch 1

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=32985

Thank you, Pure.
I enjoyed the story very much.

It caused mixed feelings as I read it. I like the description of Mary's submission. One must leave rational thought behind to submit in the fashion that is described in the story or anytime we engage in activities that generally go against our grain and upbringing.

The scene in which Michael talks to his friend broke the flow of the story for me. It just didn't seem to fit.

Also, that she was so willing to follow the directions of a stranger bothered me as a submissive woman, but I realize that it can and does happen.

All in all, I truly enjoyed it and hope to read more about Mary!

 

[MissTaken]

I do not know how often I will post here but I wanted to acknowledge your efforts Miss Taken. I registered so I could post my question out of simple curiousity. I did not want to stir up trouble. I am glad to see that perhaps I did not.

No problem, I hope to see you continue to post.

 

[Pure]

Hi Miss T,

I thought you'd like that.

Another writer who's good imo is 'speechmaster' and here is the first ch. of 'A Slave to Politics' --enslavement of woman by woman.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=31069

What did you think of the other 'zen' story of the slave auction?

Best,

J.

 

[MissTaken]

*bump*

I would invite any of our writer's to share links to their works. Whether it be a favorite or a piece that they would like to present for feedback or discussion.

In the meantime, I will be searching for something else that has been newly submitted.

 

[NemoAlia]

One-Night Stand with the Archangel by IrresistibleBeauty is technically listed under Erotic Couplings. However, it clearly appeals to the BDSMer in all (well, some) of us. This is my favorite story on lit, I do believe, although the novelty hasn't worn off enough for me to analyze my response logically.

 

[RisiaSkye]

*bump*

I would invite any of our writer's to share links to their works. Whether it be a favorite or a piece that they would like to present for feedback or discussion.

As you wish, dear.

Let me know what you think of this, the first chapter of Drama Fans.

,
RS

 

[Singularity]

Another Offering

First of all, I will tip my hat to RisiaSkye and tell her here, and the rest of the forum, what I told her in my story feedback.

Drama Fams was excellent. I hope the successor chapters come along in short order.

I will offer up my latest posting for comments. It is something different from my earlier stories in that it introduces all-new characters, and blends poetry and prose together.

It is also different in how it was written. The first scene 'Preparations' was written and shared with Vivian. We then role-played the rest of the story, working from the outline I had in my head and improvising and embellishing the idea as we went along.

What you read is a pretty fair approximation of what we actually did, down to the M&Ms. I wrote the rest of it after the session, doing my best to adhere to reality.

I would appreciate your comments and feedback.

Reflecting Passion is at http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=79143

Thanks.

 

[Pure]

Drama Fans doesn't seem to have the impact--on this reader--of some other RS stories; a bit long on explanation and analysis. Technically masterful and stylistically smooth, if a bit 'over the top.'

 

[MissTaken]

Taking off on an idea in another thread, here, we will post a link to a story.

Then, the story can be reviewed for technical or artistic merit or we can have an open discussion concerning the ideas, philosophies or presentation of BDSM.

Link your favorite stories!



Authors love views and discussions.

Readers like to know where the good stuff is.

Rock on!

 

[catalina_francisco]

Hmm is it truly consensual sex if there is drug use involved?

Good question!

equally important, how safe is it if drugs/alcohol are involved in any BDSM activity...definately not on for us and most of the D's I have been in contact with.

Catalina