BDSM basics

[PleasureTime01]

This ‘dom’ isn’t a dom. I never onboard a sub without talking a lot beforehand (as an equal and respectfully) and graduate experience. That way I learn boundaries, the sub learns there’s and always safe words are used.

Something that is important - giving & receiving pleasure is the doms goal. If the doms goal is purely to take pleasure then break the relationship immediately.

 

[Hypocrites]

I know I'm late to the party. But @romanticelvengirl is absolutely reading that correctly. I had one sub, over forty years ago who was the one that didn't want a safe word or signal. She also wanted more and more extreme things done with and to her. I still get haunts from that, namely because I scared myself with what I was capable of in that fever dream.

Trust is massive. It's my aphrodisiac. The immediate trust @HyposMuse had in me when we first met IRL was humbling and I have always held trust as sacrosanct.

We have signals and words. I also never just do something (other than normal swats and gropes) without her knowing what's coming. In the TPE dynamic we had, I had rules that constrained me as much as informed her. You do this and you get X discipline. I always followed through too (except the very rare rescinding when it will stoke the fires even more). That consistency cements the trust between us.

We co-wrote a thread going in depth into the "right way" to do BDSM. May be presumptuous but here they are:
https://forum.literotica.com/thread...essons-learned-part-1.1640413/#post-101505090

 

[naughty_stories]

So I am making this thread because I just had an encounter with a dom and basically I’m just wanting to know if a few things are red flags because I feel like the red flags and maybe he’s right and I’m reading into something more so than it is, but I just thought I would come here and check with the community. I’ve done a lot of research into those lifestyle and I mean a lot like I’m I feel like I am fairly informed with things and we were talking and he’s like I want to get to the point to where I don’t have to ask permission and there is no safe words which I know that’s wrong because you always won’t say words and all That and I just felt wrong to get to a point to a dynamic where you’re not wanting it but he’s gonna take it anyway and he said he would use that as a CNC that just felt wrong so again I thought I’d come here and ask you guys for those if you have been in the lifestyle for a long time I know it because it feels like a red flag to tell somebody that they can’t say no after a certain point and just use the excuse of a kink to justify it it feels wrong

Major red flags
More red flags than what is flying over Bejing.

Even CNC requires CONSENT it's literally the first word. Any so called Dom who refuses the use of a safe word or action if you're gagged (actually two - one for hold off a minute and one for full stop) is a borderline rapist and you will end up getting hurt and traumatized. Steer clear.