BDSM and Drama

[kiwi_submissive]

I am not overly active in the local BDSM Community because the drama just seems to be totally over the top and over such small things as well. Personally I don't understand it, but it seems like to some of them BDSM is an incredibly serious business.

Does anyone who is active in their R/L local communities notice that there is a hell of a lot more drama within the community than a group of a different kind say a sporting club?

Is this because of the population that NZ Communities are alot smaller so there are less people which it makes it seem worse, or is because BDSM is the new black so it seems to be attracting alot of young people, wives who husbands don't know what they are doing and vice versa or people who seem to think they will magically find the perfect Dom within a week and their life will be sweetness and roses and when it doesn't work that way they start creating trouble?

Any ideas what causes this and why BDSMers seem to be drawn to drama and even when you can see the train wreck coming from a mile away they just go along with it then cry about how their life is a total mess and they are surrounded by dramas?

 

[Keroin]

I started a thread a few years back about how serious some people seemed to take BDSM. Much like what you describe here:

Personally I don't understand it, but it seems like to some of them BDSM is an incredibly serious business.

As I recall a few folks were seriously offended by it.

In any case, I think if I were single I would likely avoid any kind of public BDSM get-togethers or activities exactly for the reasons you've described.

 

[kiwi_submissive]

I started a thread a few years back about how serious some people seemed to take BDSM. Much like what you describe here:



As I recall a few folks were seriously offended by it.

In any case, I think if I were single I would likely avoid any kind of public BDSM get-togethers or activities exactly for the reasons you've described.

Thanks Keroin. I probably could have worded it better but it just seems like some people no longer enjoy it but still keep doing it anyway.

 

[Ahlam]

Any ideas what causes this and why BDSMers seem to be drawn to drama and even when you can see the train wreck coming from a mile away they just go along with it then cry about how their life is a total mess and they are surrounded by dramas?

I've wondered about this myself, but then my inner skeptic chimes in. It certainly seems like BDSM communities make fine kindling for drama, but I find it difficult to accept that these people have more of a penchant for it than anyone else. It may be that the members of the local Red Hatters are just as emotionally reckless and annoying. People are pretty stupid, but that's ok. I like them anyway.

 

[intothewoods]

I think it's just that it's a small group of people, and some of them are dating/fucking each other.

I met some great people through the group that I still keep up with. It's hard to get together very often for various reasons, but I'm glad I met them.

It probably depends on what you want out of the scene.

 

[Stella_Omega]

it's not like BDSM communities are gathering for some outward interest like winning a game *together* or saving lives *through teamwork* or anything that requires cooperative effort.

BDSM is personal gratification. Not other people's gratification. If their stuff gets in the way of your stuff, your reason for being there has been invalidated.

I have been co-coordinator of a monthly play party for a little more than a year now-- this means that I don't get my own jollies on some nights, if our guests need too many things. I do not like that one little bit!