BBW_Pics

[jamor9]

Re: Jealousy

I am so jealous that you have a RL beach there... after all.. a chick of the sea *grinning at Mike* definitely needs a beach.. or a friend willing to share theirs...

Sweetie you know that I am more than willing to share my beach with you as a matter of fact, cum on down!!

Here's a sample of what you'll get!! As far as the beach goes anyway!! The rest..........

 

[jamor9]

Go ahead Sweeti...

As usual such approval makes me feel light-headed....I may swoon.....

Swoon ahead!! I'll catch ya....and ravish ya (did I say that??)

 

[Shadowsong22]

Just a small vent

You all have made me so comfortable and welcome and I really need someone to vent a bit. Hopefully you all don't mind. I had a rather lousy day yesterday that left me rather not proud of myself. I have a friend who I've been talking to online for the last few weeks and we really hit it off well. Since she only lived about 3 hours away from me we talked about maybe meeting up and hanging out. Well things continued to progress and feelings deepen...yet she was being very touchy about showing me a picture, even though I had shown her mine. I knew she had concerns about how she looked so I comforted her about it and told her that when she showed me, I'd be ready. Well, she finally did. Now I'm not what you would call a picky guy when it comes to a woman's looks. I enjoy a person's personality. Looks are really icing on the cake. But there has to be some level of physical attraction, you know? Well, unfortunately, I couldn't find any. I told her broken hearted that all we could be was friends. She was devestated and said she couldn't believe another guy played her (how did I play her??) and I haven't seen her online since. I just feel like dirt...I'm used to being rejected. It hurts and it goes away. But being the reject-er....guilt is worse than just pain. It lingers. Sorry, I just had to vent somehow. Thanks for listening.

 

[jamor9]

Re: Just a small vent

You all have made me so comfortable and welcome and I really need someone to vent a bit. Hopefully you all don't mind. I had a rather lousy day yesterday that left me rather not proud of myself. I have a friend who I've been talking to online for the last few weeks and we really hit it off well. Since she only lived about 3 hours away from me we talked about maybe meeting up and hanging out. Well things continued to progress and feelings deepen...yet she was being very touchy about showing me a picture, even though I had shown her mine. I knew she had concerns about how she looked so I comforted her about it and told her that when she showed me, I'd be ready. Well, she finally did. Now I'm not what you would call a picky guy when it comes to a woman's looks. I enjoy a person's personality. Looks are really icing on the cake. But there has to be some level of physical attraction, you know? Well, unfortunately, I couldn't find any. I told her broken hearted that all we could be was friends. She was devestated and said she couldn't believe another guy played her (how did I play her??) and I haven't seen her online since. I just feel like dirt...I'm used to being rejected. It hurts and it goes away. But being the reject-er....guilt is worse than just pain. It lingers. Sorry, I just had to vent somehow. Thanks for listening.

I'll let the women handle this one Shadow.....if you do want my opinion, PM me.

 

[Mr Wolf]

Hello again, just thought I'd pop in to say hi!

 

[zetacon4]

Re: Just a small vent

Wow! I sure don't envy you. I know that must really hurt. But I think the inexperience of you both on what to do at each stage of the process must be responsible for the misunderstanding that occurred. She should have been up front with you sooner. And you should have told her that you needed a certain amount of physical attraction to make a love connection happen. She was deceitful in a small way, not showing her picture to you soon after you showed her yours. So this, in my opinion, was the main sticking point that led to this disaster. You didn't do anything to her that she didn't set herself up for.

All that said is just how I see it from the info you posted. So, on a positive note, you have learned a real valuable lesson and she needs to read my short advice comments posted here., or she will repeat her mistake.

BTW, I am now going thru heart emotions with a person on Lit myself. So I can really sympathize with you!
Frank

 

[jamor9]

Re: Re: Just a small vent

I'll let the women handle this one Shadow.....if you do want my opinion, PM me.

Actually, now that I think about it...I will express my opinion on here!!

YOU BLEW IT DUDE!!!!
If you weren't sure if you were going to be attracted to her, you should have never let it go that far!!
When she sent you her picture...it should not have mattered what she looked like or how "not attracted" you were to her....you should have not handled it the way you did.

You should have gone ahead and met her if that was the plan, and if you weren't physically attracted to her, you might have still been mentally attacted. If not, then there are ways of letting her know.
Whatever attracted you to her on LIT would have probably attracted you to her in RL.

The women here are not just play toys...they are feeling, caring ladies....if you are just here to play, then don't start talking about meeting in RL just so you can hopefully get laid!

Like I said before.....YOU BLEW IT!!!
Now, go appologze to the lady!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Off my soap box now!

 

[Mike_F]

Shadowsong22 and vent

Shadowsong,
I am not a woman, but I'll chime in anyway (thanks alot Jim ).

I have a freind, who maried seven years ago. She found the guy mentally and spirtiually atractive. There was a little bit of physical attraction, but not much. The guy does have health problems as well, so he isn't very active in the bedroom. They do have a son, who is three years old, and that is the last time they where sexually active. Yes, they have a good relationship, but she is 15 years younger than him, about my age, and is frustrated sexually, but still faithful. She has told me that at times she can get a sniff of him that sets her on fire.

There are all kinds of relationships. I agree, that personality has to be there first, I am not into one-night stands, yet it does help if you find the person attractive as well. I have known people that at first glance I have found repulsive, but with the friendship I found those little things that attracted them to me physically as well.

No matter what, it is better to of loved and lost, than never to of loved at all. I am a guy going thru a seperation, and I know it is hard on me, but I am still alive.

I don't know what else I can tell you. The next move is probley her's. Give her some time, keep e-mailing her if you can, and listen.

Mike_F

 

[sxychick21]

Picture issue

Ok this is a rather sensitive subject for me! As a large woman I am used to the rejection, the hurtful comments, and the ugly looks that come from the general public. Hence, I LOVE to play online. Its safe and protected on here. When a guy asks for my pic my immediate response is NO. I dont like lots of them floating out there and if you only want me for my looks than I probably dont want you anyways!
But my habit of doing this presents a catch 22. Because I wait until I feel comfortable with a guy and know that he wants to know the real me. By then, I've started to care for him and don't want to show my pic cause I might lose him! Argh.... Honestly I have lost several guys after I show them my pic which hurts me badly and makes it that much harder the next time.
I recently went through this with someone special and I held out for a long time. Than when his response to my picture was not what I expected, I moved to end it and almost lost something really great in the process. LOL, I dont know if you REALLY wanted this much info!
Anyways all of that to say 1)I know how she feels and you have hurt her. Dont expect that everything will be the same. 2) You are right also. You didnt do anything wrong and you were honest about the lack of attraction. It was kind of eye-opening to see your side of the situation. You have taught me that I should be more up front and stop being scared. If you dont want what I offer than whats the point of continuing the flirtation?

OMG, I cant believe how I ramble...like I said, sensitive subject! Oh, and shadow...the fact that you LIKE BBW shows that you are more accepting than the general masses and for that you get a

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Re: Just a small vent

Actually, now that I think about it...I will express my opinion on here!!

YOU BLEW IT DUDE!!!!
If you weren't sure if you were going to be attracted to her, you should have never let it go that far!!
When she sent you her picture...it should not have mattered what she looked like or how "not attracted" you were to her....you should have not handled it the way you did.

You should have gone ahead and met her if that was the plan, and if you weren't physically attracted to her, you might have still been mentally attacted. If not, then there are ways of letting her know.
Whatever attracted you to her on LIT would have probably attracted you to her in RL.

The women here are not just play toys...they are feeling, caring ladies....if you are just here to play, then don't start talking about meeting in RL just so you can hopefully get laid!

Like I said before.....YOU BLEW IT!!!
Now, go appologze to the lady!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Off my soap box now!

Boy did you just hit the nail on the head….

The women here are not just play toys...they are feeling, caring ladies....if you are just here to play, then don't start talking about meeting in RL just so you can hopefully get laid!

This is so true...

 

[sxychick21]

Re: Re: Re: Just a small vent

Like I said before.....YOU BLEW IT!!!
Now, go appologze to the lady!

Off my soap box now!

Wow honey! Tell us how you really feel Thank you for being the gentlemen and always looking out for our feelings. Ive never gotten anything but respect and adoration from you and those of us with fragile self esteem need more of you! lots of to you!

 

[jamor9]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Just a small vent

Boy did you just hit the nail on the head….

The women here are not just play toys...they are feeling, caring ladies....if you are just here to play, then don't start talking about meeting in RL just so you can hopefully get laid!

This is so true...

Thanks for backing me up on that FunDog!!We all wanna get laid.....but Dude....you went about it the wrong way!!

 

[Mr Wolf]

If I maybe so bold as to add my penny's worth to the debte/discussion that is going on: 1 If you get on well with someone who the hell cares about size! 2 Judge and act towards people how you wish them to judge/act towards you. Its called respect, if you don't give it why should you expect/receive it.

 

[sxychick21]

Hitting the nail...

Boy did you just hit the nail on the head….

The women here are not just play toys...they are feeling, caring ladies....if you are just here to play, then don't start talking about meeting in RL just so you can hopefully get laid!

This is so true...

You guys are so sweet...makes me want to cry. Or maybe just post a pic...giggling!

I swear this board is the best thing ever for my self esteem and I KNOW I'm not the only one who feels that way. God, I am sooo feeling the love tonight...giggling

 

[Shadowsong22]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Just a small vent

Boy did you just hit the nail on the head….

The women here are not just play toys...they are feeling, caring ladies....if you are just here to play, then don't start talking about meeting in RL just so you can hopefully get laid!

This is so true...

Well, she wasn't someone from here. And I know they are. I cared about her too! But if I can't find myself attracted to her, how can I build attempt to build a relationship? I'm not about getting laid. That's not me. I want a relationship on all levels: mental, physical, and spiritual. I'm sorry, maybe I just didn't explain everything well enough. Now I really feel like a jerk.

 

[jamor9]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Just a small vent

Wow honey! Tell us how you really feel Thank you for being the gentlemen and always looking out for our feelings. Ive never gotten anything but respect and adoration from you and those of us with fragile self esteem need more of you! lots of to you!

In case you haven't notice Sxy...I dont have a problem expressing myself!!

If you don't respect the woman who you are first flirting with before anything else happens......YOU NEED TO STOP!

I love you all baby...and if there is someone I dont feel comfortable with...then I will avoid letting it go to far.

To the ladies of BBW

 

[zetacon4]

Re: Picture issue

Ok this is a rather sensitive subject for me!
....
It was kind of eye-opening to see your side of the situation. You have taught me that I should be more up front and stop being scared. If you dont want what I offer than whats the point of continuing the flirtation?

Sxychick, it is very good to see that you have grasped the whole picture here. The comment by Jamor was a bit lopsided. It was, as you and I put it, a simple mistake of timing. And that, here on lit., is done so very often. Even during posting, timing issues have caused havoc with perceptions of posters. So thanks for your view of this situation too.

 

[Mr Wolf]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Just a small vent

Well, she wasn't someone from here. And I know they are. I cared about her too! But if I can't find myself attracted to her, how can I build attempt to build a relationship? I'm not about getting laid. That's not me. I want a relationship on all levels: mental, physical, and spiritual. I'm sorry, maybe I just didn't explain everything well enough. Now I really feel like a jerk.

I have plenty of female friends who I am not attracted to, but they are great fun to be with and socialise with. Mental is more important than physical as it is least likley to change. God save me from a goddess who couldn't hold a conversation or laugh at herself.

 

[sxychick21]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Just a small vent

Well, she wasn't someone from here. And I know they are. I cared about her too! But if I can't find myself attracted to her, how can I build attempt to build a relationship? I'm not about getting laid. That's not me. I want a relationship on all levels: mental, physical, and spiritual. I'm sorry, maybe I just didn't explain everything well enough. Now I really feel like a jerk.

You shouldnt feel like a jerk. You should learn from the mistake. We arent saying you should be with someone you aren't attracted to, we are saying that you could have handled this ALOT better. So, what have you learned for next time?

 

[jamor9]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Just a small vent

Well, she wasn't someone from here. And I know they are. I cared about her too! But if I can't find myself attracted to her, how can I build attempt to build a relationship? I'm not about getting laid. That's not me. I want a relationship on all levels: mental, physical, and spiritual. I'm sorry, maybe I just didn't explain everything well enough. Now I really feel like a jerk.

As you should feel like a jerk.

A picture can be deceiving...I've seen pictures of people and then met them in RL and they were nothing like the pic...as far as i'm concerned...you may have blown the opportunity of a life time by not continuing the relationship with this lady.

Hopefully you'll figure out someway to make it up to her!!

 

[sxychick21]

Re: Re: Picture issue

Sxychick, it is very good to see that you have grasped the whole picture here. The comment by Jamor was a bit lopsided. It was, as you and I put it, a simple mistake of timing. And that, here on lit., is done so very often. Even during posting, timing issues have caused havoc with perceptions of posters. So thanks for your view of this situation too.

to you for sorting the jumble that was my post...giggling. Timing is crucial and is so very easy to mess up. And feelings are very very delicate! I put my heart out in the open on here and its easy for the wrong guy to mangle and trash it. Its happened before....hopefully it wont happen again

 

[zetacon4]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Just a small vent

Thanks for backing me up on that FunDog!!We all wanna get laid.....but Dude....you went about it the wrong way!!

Jamor, buddy, I think you might want to re-read the posts here and see what you just missed.
I know all appreciate your zeal, but give the guy some credit here.
And please read my post on timing issues. It sure applies here today!!!!!!

 

[Mike_F]

Jim and Frank posted b4 I complete

Shadowsong,
Jim and Frank got off there post as I was typing mine, and I'll let mine stand on it's own merits. Now, to run with the ideas that Frank and Jim presented, and hope I don't fall behind too many more post.

Frank said to chualk it up to youthful awkardness, or, I think he called it "inexperience". That may be, but do you care for her? Again, at first, physical atractions may help, but that is not the only thing.

Jim - well, he let you have both barrels of the shot gun, more that I would of/did. I do have to agree with him thou.

When I was living in northern Virginia (NoVa) I had a best friend, and his sister-in-law was obeaste (sp?), and I found it a turn-off the first time I met her. I did become good friends with her, and found those special things, without becoming sexual, that attracted me to her physically, besides the personality. After a year, I had problems with work and living condictions, so I wasn't able to visit for 3 months. What a differance that made - she had lost over tweenty pounds, and it showed in her self image. I had already develope the crush before that, but she felt better about herself, it showed - and that was the first thing I noticed upon my return.

The picture should of been to help you find her in a crowd, and to admire. I have exchanged pics with someone special to me on this board, and it was lust at first sight, if for no other reason, than we had already developed a relationship first.

The first person, in my first reply - the sex may not be there now, but she did have his child, and the relationship, while lacking sexually, is still there.

Mike_F

 

[sxychick21]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Just a small vent

I have plenty of female friends who I am not attracted to, but they are great fun to be with and socialise with. Mental is more important than physical as it is least likley to change. God save me from a goddess who couldn't hold a conversation or laugh at herself.

Ohh honey, there are LOTS of those out there. Lord save us from stupid people...

I think being "special" gives me the advantage of automatically weeding out MOST of the jerks! If you want me you want me for my mind, my personality, my humor, and the amazing things I do to your body...giggling

 

[jamor9]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Just a small vent

You shouldnt feel like a jerk. You should learn from the mistake. We arent saying you should be with someone you aren't attracted to, we are saying that you could have handled this ALOT better. So, what have you learned for next time?

I beg to differ Sxy...he should feel like a jerk. Thats how you learn how to treat women!!!

Now...lets get off of this line of thought please.....on to happier things......