**** Baseball ****

[MathGirl]

Baseball season is here! Yay!

Sorry, I couldn't help that. I LOVE baseball.

I know, I know. It's slow, dull, stupid, and boring. I have no defense against those who put it down, so don't bother.

It's one of those things you either like or hate. Sort of like the Three Stooges or oral sex.

MG

 

[jfinn]

Baseball season is here! Yay!

It's one of those things you either like or hate. Sort of like the Three Stooges or oral sex.

MG

There are people who don't like the three stooges?!

Jayne

 

[NoJo]

That was a typo - Mathgirl was referring to that classic sketch, "The Three Stooges and Oral Sex".

"Who went down first?"

"I don't know, who?"

"You don't know Who?"

"Who came on First!"

"Who's 'First'?"

"First Fisted Who, who came on Last."

"So Who came on First?"

"No, 'Last' came on Who first, and Who came last."

..etc.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I'm beginning to realize that I haven't missed anything. Obviously those Stooges really ARE as bad as everyone keep telling me they are...

 

[Pookie]

Baseball season is here! Yay!

Sorry, I couldn't help that. I LOVE baseball.

I know, I know. It's slow, dull, stupid, and boring. I have no defense against those who put it down, so don't bother.

It's one of those things you either like or hate. Sort of like the Three Stooges or oral sex.

MG

I love oral sex while watching the Three Stooges or baseball. The Stooges are funny to watch playing baseball. I don't particularly like watching the Stooges have oral sex though.

Actually, I love baseball myself. I have played either baseball or softball since I was 3 years old. I was a very good infielder during my years in school. I was never much of a power hitter (no one backed up to the fence when they saw my skinny butt come to the plate), but I always had a good batting average.

Something about a guy in a baseball uniform that is very hot. The way they can use their bats can be very inspiring.


Pookie

 

[NoJo]

In England, it's called "rounders". It's a girl's sport. Real men play cricket, which is the only game I know of where you're required to rub your groin repeatedly with a large, dark red ball until it produces a stain on your crisp white trousers.
I'm told it produces a nice shiny surface on your ball which increases the spin when you finally fling it at the batsman's willow.

 

[jfinn]

...cricket, which is the only game I know of where you're required to rub your groin repeatedly with a large, dark red ball until it produces a stain on your crisp white trousers.
I'm told it produces a nice shiny surface on your ball which increases the spin when you finally fling it at the batsman's willow.

Hmmmm, I've always been told that cricket is a boring game. Sounds like I've been misinformed.

Jayne

 

[Weird Harold]

Hmmmm, I've always been told that cricket is a boring game. Sounds like I've been misinformed.

Jayne

Cricket matches are scheduled to last more than one day! Just how exciting can it be?

 

[TheEarl]

Never try and explain cricket to Americans, Joe. You're on a hiding to nothing. I haven't found an American yet who understands a game that can last for 5 days and still be a draw through insufficient time.

Go find a proper sport. Like rugby!

The Earl

 

[NoJo]

Never try and explain cricket to Americans, Joe. You're on a hiding to nothing. I haven't found an American yet who understands a game that can last for 5 days and still be a draw through insufficient time.

Go find a proper sport. Like rugby!

The Earl

I work in a team with five other people - three Cricket-crazy Indian Sikhs, One 16-stone ex School Rugby captain, and a "normal person", who shares with me a passion for the sports ofSnooker and Darts. Thank god for him. Then there's me. I usually tell the rugby fanatic that rugby is played predominantly by gay men (I say this only in the safety of the office, never in the pub).

Snooker and Darts, I believe, capture the British essence. Skilled, intellectual, highly mathematical sports of strategy and patience and ugly people.

 

[Dirt Man]

There's nothing in the world harder to do than hit a round ball with a round bat.

...in cricket the wood is flat like a paddle, making it easier to hit the spheroid. That's not to say that the game isn't challenging, it's just not baseball.

Baseball can be likened to the board game known as chess. The drama that unfolds, the gamesmanship, and especially the skill. The pitcher tries to fool the batter, and the batter tries to figure out what the hell kind of throw the pitcher is going to come up with next. A slider? A curve ball? A knuckle ball, or a 102 MPH fast ball. Will it be inside, outside, high and tight, down and away, or right over the plate? They call it the great American pass time for good reason. Everybody can play one form or another of it, but only the very best ever get to play professionally. Imagine, getting paid to play something that you love, now isn't that a kick. Yeah, I guess that's why we don't call it rounders, eh. Though rounding those 4 bases that are 90 feet apart each after a grand slam feels like you just bought the world whole sale. Oh well, it's another silly game of life I guess.

As Always
I Am the
Dirt Man

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Never try and explain cricket to Americans, Joe. You're on a hiding to nothing. I haven't found an American yet who understands a game that can last for 5 days and still be a draw through insufficient time.

Go find a proper sport. Like rugby!

The Earl

And then there are games that can last for a month or more - quidditch!

"It ain't over 'til you catch the snitch!"

 

[MathGirl]

Re: There's nothing in the world harder to do than hit a round ball with a round bat.

Originally posted by Dirt Man [[/B]

"The hardest thing to do in sports is to hit a round ball with a round bat." Said by Theodore Henry Williams, probably the greatest hitter ever.

Nice thoughts, Dirtie. Couldn't have said it better myself.

MG

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Re: Re: There's nothing in the world harder to do than hit a round ball with a round bat.

"The hardest thing to do in sports is to hit a round ball with a round bat." Said by Theodore Henry Williams, probably the greatest hitter ever.

Nice thoughts, Dirtie. Couldn't have said it better myself.

MG

Obviously that man didn't jerk off much...

 

[MathGirl]

Re: Re: Re: There's nothing in the world harder to do than hit a round ball with a round bat.

Obviously that man didn't jerk off much...

Hiya, Svenska,
Oh, Ted Williams was a renowned onanist. Left handed. He now resides in a cryogenic tank in Arizona somewhere. At least they didn't leave him out in the heat.

I don't suppose they have much baseball in Sweden. Somehow, the Stockholm Pirates just doesn't have the right ring. Your summers are too short, anyway.
MG

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Which is also why we have such a MEAN ice hockey team!

 

[karmadog]

Let's hear it for hockey!

There can't be anything wrong with a country that gave us Niklas Lidstrom, Peter Forsberg and now, Henryk Zetterberg (among many others).

Thanks, Sweden!

 

[sirhugs]

Baseball season is here! Yay!

Sorry, I couldn't help that. I LOVE baseball.

I know, I know. It's slow, dull, stupid, and boring. I have no defense against those who put it down, so don't bother.

It's one of those things you either like or hate. Sort of like the Three Stooges or oral sex.

MG

to build on the link tween the Stooges and sex- HBO has a series called " Mind of a Married Man"- one of its funniest episodes last year was about blow jobs while watching the Stooges. Look for it on video or in reruns.

 

[TheEarl]

I would have thought cricket was more challenging. You've got more bat to hit with, but less area to safely hit into. Plus, I understand that hitting the batsman in baseball is a single run and thus avoided by the pitchers. Cricket, the batsman has to worry about balls flying at his head, which is a legitimate tactic. Dot ball in cricket (Dot ball = no run).

Off-cutter, bouncer, googly, yorker, out swinger, in swinger, seamer. Tons of balls that the bowler can bowl. Just ask Alex Tudor what happens to the batsman if he doesn't guess right.

Anyway, like I said. Go play rugby .

The Earl

 

[MathGirl]

YY!

There can't be anything wrong with a country that gave us Niklas Lidstrom, Peter Forsberg and now, Henryk Zetterberg

To say nothing of the legendary heavyweight champion, Ingemar Johannsen.

"Yumpin' Yimminy" Wot dat schwartzer hit me wit"

MG

Sorry Svenska. Just can't help showing off my Swedish.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

It's OK, MG, that joke is as funny now as the other 34 times you've used it...

 

[MathGirl]

It's OK, MG, that joke is as funny now as the other 34 times you've used it...

I know, Svenska. As soon as it stops irritating you, I'll probably stop doing it.

When does spring come in Sweden? The trees are all finished blossoming here, and everything's coming out green. I assume it's not quite that warm yet where you are.

MG

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I know, Svenska. As soon as it stops irritating you, I'll probably stop doing it.

When does spring come in Sweden? The trees are all finished blossoming here, and everything's coming out green. I assume it's not quite that warm yet where you are.

MG

Well... you see, Spring is a two-part story over here. First, the sun shines, and the snow melt, and the streets are dry, and people walk around outside without jackets, and sit and sunbathe in the streets outside the shops. Women start wearing short skirts and pantyhose. Birds are chirping. This happends in February.

Then comes part two. It snows. The temperature drops below 0. It's cold and windy and lots of snowstorms. People wear two jackets if they go out at all. There is no sun, so people have to visit tanning salons to get a tan. Women wear thermo-pants. Birds hide from the cold wind, curse, and plan to pick the eyes out of the moron who came up with the idea of migrating back to Sweden this early. This happends in April.

We're in Stage 2 right now. It was sunny and warm last week, but now it's a snowstorm outside. And I have to go downtown to the library... *shivers*

 

[Dirt Man]

I lived in Anchorage for a couple of years, and it's pretty much like that there too. The big deal is when it reaches 32F/0C when the girls start wearing shorts, skirts, and thin blouses.

DM

 

[MathGirl]

Snooker and Darts, I believe, capture the British essence. Skilled, intellectual, highly mathematical sports of strategy and patience and ugly people.

And who can drink pints by the score.
MG