Bah! Humbug!

[cookiejar]

Does anyone hate the holidays as much as me? They are the most depressing time of the year. I should be happy, I have a wonderful family, I'm not alone. I have enough money, I shop early... no stress there. But each year it only gets worse. I can't remember a Xmas that I wasn't depressed, starting back as early as 4 years old.

I was talking to a friend from Lit yesterday and he asked if I was okay with the holidays coming. A very perceptive man to pick up on my feelings.

I feel overwhelming guilt because many people spend the holidays alone but you can be alone in a crowd.

I'm sorry but I needed to vent ... I will smile and shop and eat and play the game, all the time waiting for it all to be over again.

 

[Missingmeds]

Cookiejar,

Nice to meet you first of all.

Could it be because by the time the actual holiday gets here, you are like me and all holidayed out? They were putting Christmas things out before the Halloween stuff was gone here.

It is like the Holidays are 3 months long anymore.

 

[moosie48360]

OMG YES!!!!!!!!!!!! If i could disappear from November 1st til January 2nd....I'd be one happy camper!.......I too hate the holidays....I hate all the expectations....spending time with people I really try to avoid most of the year....I don't think there's one thing I like about this time of year..other than the snow LOL.....not sure when I really started to hate it...I know it was way before my kids..but after they came along and having to be in ten diff places at once <ok..I'm exaggerating, but you get my point> just really was the last straw. It has gotten to the point where sometimes...I get 'sick' just so I can stay home...now that's bad.....ya know the weird thing?...I work retail...and that end of the holiday shit doesn't bother me nearly as much as the personal stuff....GO FIGURE!!!..............

thanx for letting me vent...nice to know I'm not the only one.

 

[Missingmeds]

I don't have children or a S/O for right now so that is not a problem either. But I remember both of those situations only too well. Plus if you mix in seasonal depression from lack of sunlight here...it can quickly get out of control.

 

[moosie48360]

I don't have children or a S/O for right now so that is not a problem either. But I remember both of those situations only too well. Plus if you mix in seasonal depression from lack of sunlight here...it can quickly get out of control.

amen!...thank god for wellbutrin and xanax! LMFAO

 

[Missingmeds]

Goodness moosie...

LMFAO!!!

Would that be called "Holidazed" ?

 

[moosie48360]

Goodness moosie...

LMFAO!!!

Would that be called "Holidazed" ?

what holidays?

 

[English Lady]

I'm totally the opposite..I love Christmas...now i'm in england so we don't have a big hoo-ha over halloween and no thanksgiving so maybe it is a bit easier on us over here! It annoys me that christmas things come out in october though and I don't think people should be allowed to start selling christmas items and playing christmas music till at least the middle of november!


Also there is the depression linked to the lack of natural sunlight..my mum suffers with it...I am not sure what there is to commbat it but maybe you should research it..SAD i think it is (seasonal something or other..i forgot what i stood for*L*)


Try not to look to far ahead, enjoy each day and try not to worry or hype up your expectation

 

[cookiejar]

I'm totally the opposite..I love Christmas...now i'm in england so we don't have a big hoo-ha over halloween and no thanksgiving so maybe it is a bit easier on us over here! It annoys me that christmas things come out in october though and I don't think people should be allowed to start selling christmas items and playing christmas music till at least the middle of november!


Also there is the depression linked to the lack of natural sunlight..my mum suffers with it...I am not sure what there is to commbat it but maybe you should research it..SAD i think it is (seasonal something or other..i forgot what i stood for*L*)


Try not to look to far ahead, enjoy each day and try not to worry or hype up your expectation

It's called Seasonal Affective Disorder EL, and along with being Bi-polar it's a nightmare.

I have what are called SAD lights, very expensive but I'm hoping they will help. They supply light to your brain in concentrated doses.


And moosie...I take Wellbutrin & Zoloft just to survive...lol

Hi Missingmeds...nice to meet you too...

I tend to shy away from malls and do most of my Xmas shopping online ... I think people get very high expectations at Xmas, everyone wants the perfect family atmosphere they see in movies and tv.

I have talked this out with my 7 year old, I want to make sure she isn't feeling like I did at that age. So far, so good. It's terrible to be a child and cry yourself to sleep at Xmas and have no idea why.

Thanks everyone ...

 

[tonitits]

I'm totally the opposite..I love Christmas...now i'm in england so we don't have a big hoo-ha over halloween and no thanksgiving so maybe it is a bit easier on us over here! It annoys me that christmas things come out in october though and I don't think people should be allowed to start selling christmas items and playing christmas music till at least the middle of november!


Also there is the depression linked to the lack of natural sunlight..my mum suffers with it...I am not sure what there is to commbat it but maybe you should research it..SAD i think it is (seasonal something or other..i forgot what i stood for*L*)


Try not to look to far ahead, enjoy each day and try not to worry or hype up your expectation

Yeah I have heard of that, I get it some, but not as bad as some ppl do. I think it comes from being from a place where the sun shines almost all the time, year round and then when it doesn't for a few days get really down. I have a friend from South Africa and he is the same way. Our mutual friend, my best friend, used to hate to be with the two of us when that happened.

 

[tonitits]

It's called Seasonal Affective Disorder EL, and along with being Bi-polar it's a nightmare.

I have what are called SAD lights, very expensive but I'm hoping they will help. They supply light to your brain in concentrated doses.


And moosie...I take Wellbutrin & Zoloft just to survive...lol

Hi Missingmeds...nice to meet you too...

I tend to shy away from malls and do most of my Xmas shopping online ... I think people get very high expectations at Xmas, everyone wants the perfect family atmosphere they see in movies and tv.

I have talked this out with my 7 year old, I want to make sure she isn't feeling like I did at that age. So far, so good. It's terrible to be a child and cry yourself to sleep at Xmas and have no idea why.

Thanks everyone ...

I agree. We used to always enjoy Christmas and making gifts, etc... but like my brother pointed out years ago, Christmas has become so commercialized. I hate that part of it. And when you have to work extra long hours and get so stress and everything and then when/if you can get with your family you can't really enjoy them and I just want to go home and crawl in bed alot of times. Daniel loves the holidays and getting gifts, not necessarily lot of gifts. And not necessarily expensive gifts, he asks for them, but if he doesn't get them, he is not upset. Someone said that you can be alone in a crowd. I have felt that so many times at family gatherings. I don't take any meds. I have a cousin that is bi polar, manic depressive and sometimes she can really spoil a good time and I don't really care to be around her, even though we are very close and grew up together. My excuse usually is I need to go home and get some rest, I have to work tonight!

 

[English Lady]

Thankyou for reminding me of the meaning behind the letters*L* I think mum has one of those expensive lights,I remember her telling me it does help quite a bit.


I think the commercialism of christmas is appaling. I love to give presents and i can honestly say i am not fussed about what presents i recieve...I like to receive presents that are thoughtful and i don't care about the cost or if it has a popular label upon it.

Seeing the christmas build up through my daughters 2 year old eyes is amazing. I love the way she is fascinated by the lights and trees and dancing santa's...all of it is very magical to her right now. I think we place to much stress on christmas day....this year will be the first year that my husband my daughter and I will have the whole of christmas day in our on home on our own(the in laws are coming briefly to drop off presents in the morning) and I know it will be a good day. I'll be able to cook food we want to eat (I can't stand turkey..niether can hubby so we'll do something different) and just enjoy being together as a family.

I think that is what we need to get back to. the simple pleasures of christmas. forget the hype. Remember the little Miracle in a manger and the very reason we celebrate christmas. Restore the heart and Soul of Christmas this year.....


Anyway i'm waffling on again*L* this is a subject close ot my heart...

 

[TantaLiza]

I, too, hate the holidays!!! Possibly in part to the SAD thing but also in part because of the loneliness.... it's been so hard to fake it over and over!! My daughter is 13 and she put up the tree by herself last year... everything is so commercialized... it's just the season and not the REASON anymore!!! Everyone is coupled off and/or has more family to celebrate with... we never celebrate them "on time"... it's always when we can all work it out to meet up. I guess that part is okay as by then we just consider them mini family reunions rather than "holidays".

This year, we won't be having a "Thanksgiving" as my brother just died on the 23rd... Guess we'll just be thankful that we had him for almost 35 yrs....

To any and all who lurk... hugs and happiness to you!! Holidays or not...

LizA

 

[appleapps]

I am sorry for you loss Liza, I havent lost anyone from my family, I cant even imagine what it must feel like but I am sure that the holidays are the last thing you feel like doing when you are missing a family member for the first time. I hope you have someone in R/L to talk to if you need a shoulder! If you dont, let me know, I will talk to you!
I do understand about the commercialization of the holidays, which is why I do not feel guilty when I dont get my kids a whole bunch of presents, instead I try to find one thing that would be special for each of them and then just the other normal things,,, underwear, socks, little crap,,,, but that one present is what makes them happy, because they know that I put thought into it. I would rather have a present that someone made for me, or saw someplace that reminded them of me, then for them to go out and spend too much money on something that I could give a shit about having.
As for the SAD, I dont usually get that till around Feb, but then I start tanning and that seems to help me. I never had it happen to me when I was young, but the past about 8 yrs it has been affecting me. I also try to get outside during the days that it is sunny. I noticed that if I get outside and get more involved with the winter sports, even if for 30 min, it seems to lighten my spirits.

I, too, hate the holidays!!! Possibly in part to the SAD thing but also in part because of the loneliness.... it's been so hard to fake it over and over!! My daughter is 13 and she put up the tree by herself last year... everything is so commercialized... it's just the season and not the REASON anymore!!! Everyone is coupled off and/or has more family to celebrate with... we never celebrate them "on time"... it's always when we can all work it out to meet up. I guess that part is okay as by then we just consider them mini family reunions rather than "holidays".

This year, we won't be having a "Thanksgiving" as my brother just died on the 23rd... Guess we'll just be thankful that we had him for almost 35 yrs....

To any and all who lurk... hugs and happiness to you!! Holidays or not...

LizA

 

[tonitits]

I, too, hate the holidays!!! Possibly in part to the SAD thing but also in part because of the loneliness.... it's been so hard to fake it over and over!! My daughter is 13 and she put up the tree by herself last year... everything is so commercialized... it's just the season and not the REASON anymore!!! Everyone is coupled off and/or has more family to celebrate with... we never celebrate them "on time"... it's always when we can all work it out to meet up. I guess that part is okay as by then we just consider them mini family reunions rather than "holidays".

This year, we won't be having a "Thanksgiving" as my brother just died on the 23rd... Guess we'll just be thankful that we had him for almost 35 yrs....

To any and all who lurk... hugs and happiness to you!! Holidays or not...

LizA

Liza I am so sorry to hear about your brother. I know how that is losing a loved one, especially so close to the holidays, I lost mom last year the end of Oct. We still got together, partly because she was always afraid once she was gone that we would never get together again. We did the same thing Christmas. This year I will probably see part of the family Thurs. But Christmas it doesn't look too promising everyone doing their own thing and my niece not being able to get off work, maybe, and if not my brother and sister in law won't be here due to they do not want her to be alone in Ok. So I guess at this time it is a wait and see situation. In a way, I won't mind. I can always go to my aunt's for lunch and stay for a bit, can't handle it for very long and then just spend Christmas with Daniel. I think that would be nice. But, of course, if they are able to come I will love that too. This is the only time we usually see each other!

(((((((((Liza and family))))))))) I will be keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[Missingmeds]

I don't know if the site is still up or not. But there used to be a site with the directions on how to build your own light for SAD.

I will have to look around and see if I can find it again.

Liza, I am sorry to hear about anyone losing anyone. I can only imagine how I would feel if it happened to me.

To all, happy holidays....

 

[moosie48360]

((((((((((((((L))))))))))))))))))to you and your family...many prayers

 

[TantaLiza]

Thank you ladies for the hugs, prayers and thoughts!!! I have to say, to this date, this is about the hardest thing I've had to deal with... even raising my daughter alone can't compare!!

Hugs back to you all!!! Happy holidays, too!!

 

[alwaysawake]

I agree. We used to always enjoy Christmas and making gifts, etc... but like my brother pointed out years ago, Christmas has become so commercialized. I hate that part of it. And when you have to work extra long hours and get so stress and everything and then when/if you can get with your family you can't really enjoy them and I just want to go home and crawl in bed alot of times. Daniel loves the holidays and getting gifts, not necessarily lot of gifts. And not necessarily expensive gifts, he asks for them, but if he doesn't get them, he is not upset. Someone said that you can be alone in a crowd. I have felt that so many times at family gatherings. I don't take any meds. I have a cousin that is bi polar, manic depressive and sometimes she can really spoil a good time and I don't really care to be around her, even though we are very close and grew up together. My excuse usually is I need to go home and get some rest, I have to work tonight!

I agree...I used to enjoy the holidays when I was younger--but since my dad passed away on Dec. 17th, it just serves as a reminder and isn't a happy time here. I plaster a smile on my face and fake it since I don't want to spoil things for the rest of the relatives. How about if we make the year 46 weeks long and eliminate the last six weeks we have now? I wouldn't miss them at all and probably be happier for it!

 

[cookiejar]

Thank you ladies for the hugs, prayers and thoughts!!! I have to say, to this date, this is about the hardest thing I've had to deal with... even raising my daughter alone can't compare!!

Hugs back to you all!!! Happy holidays, too!!

Liza...I can only say, I'm sorry my friend and I'm thinking of you. My grandad's brother died Xmas Eve. It's terrible anytime but the holidays double the grief. Be well my friend...hugssss

 

[cookiejar]

It's good to see I'm not the only Scrooge around here...


BTW...j/k

 

[tonitits]

It's good to see I'm not the only Scrooge around here...


BTW...j/k

Happy Thanksgiving Scrooge!

 

[alwaysawake]

Happy Thanksgiving Scrooge!

Bah (Gobble-wolf-snorting the food) Hum-burrrrrrrrrp! (Excuse me!) LOL

 

[ffemtp]

I to hate the holiday since my wife left on Dec. 1 of 2001. I just want to be alone at home or be working (too keep busy). I have an argurment with my mother about when i am going to visit and do the stuff with the family. I just can't go up and smile and say thing are ok with me. Even now that the divorce is done and over I guess i'm not over it myself. I at times think about harming myself but that would not solve anything and hurt more people than it would help me. Someday it should change and i hope it does but until then i guess i wull survive.

So for those of you that are down on the holiday's just remember Jan 2nd is coming and I can't wait.

 

[tonitits]

I to hate the holiday since my wife left on Dec. 1 of 2001. I just want to be alone at home or be working (too keep busy). I have an argurment with my mother about when i am going to visit and do the stuff with the family. I just can't go up and smile and say thing are ok with me. Even now that the divorce is done and over I guess i'm not over it myself. I at times think about harming myself but that would not solve anything and hurt more people than it would help me. Someday it should change and i hope it does but until then i guess i wull survive.

So for those of you that are down on the holiday's just remember Jan 2nd is coming and I can't wait.

Sorry to hear about your situation I know it can be a difficult one, even when you are the person wanting the divorce. My divorce was final on Dec 15, the year I got divorce, many years ago. And it may take a long time before you are ready to do the dating scene again, don't let anyone rush you, but do allow yourself to open your heart to the possibility of find a new love. It may be tomorrow or like in my case, it took 20+ years. But it is worth it when you do finally find your true soulmate! Until then I wish for you only the best and don't do anything to harm yourself. There are ppl who care about you and it WILL get better! Hugs. Hope you are able to get through the holidays without too much sorrow!