Bah, humbug, and makin guacomole dips

[Lisa Denton]

Does anybody know how to wash off guacomoles?

I had one almost peeled, standin over the trash can peelin it, when it fell in. Luckily it missed this mornings coffee grounds ..... but landed on top of where I had just emptied a ashtray.

This is when I came upon my present dilemma. How the fuck do you wash a guacomole? I don't think its ever been done. You just throw it in the dip bowl, sans the pit, and smash it up. They are slimey lil bastards, thats how come it slipped outta my hands and landed in the trash. If I try to wash it I think it will disintegrate into a mushy mess in the sink, and prolly plug up my plumbing, making for some merry christmas for a plumber guy with overtime pay, holiday pay, and extra guacomole mess pay.

Bah, humbug, I left the guacomole sitting on the edge of my table hoping my dog would eat it, he sniffed it, sneezed, and then growled at me.

Bah, humbug. I don't do christmas eve stuffs, no decorations, thats great for kids but I don't wanna put nothing up. or take nothing down, and if some guy tries to climb down my chimney my only problem is whether to use the Glock 9mm, or the shotgun.

I do have guests coming tomorrow, who prolly expect the guacomole dip to be seperate from the ashtrays. But I have a full house for me, my sisters dog is staying over. My dog is a big playful mixed breed mutt, barely out of puppydom and full of energy, Scooter. My sisters dog is as old as a dinosaur, blind in one eye and can't see good out of the other, and never plays, Lil Miss Piggy, she is like a minuture bulldog or some crap.

So Scooter is trying to get Miss Piggy to play, lickin her ears and pokin her with his nose. She growls at him and tries to bite his ass but she can't see shit. So he thinks that means she wants to play and crap ...... its a madhouse ....... ah, christmas spirit.

So I am stuck with this huge guacomole covered in cigarette ashes. I know they are called avocados, but they don't call it avocadole dip, and when someone says avocado, I draw a blank, but when they say guacomole, I know exactly what they mean.

The recipe I got online called for small avocados, but I have big ones, and I ain't goin to the store on christmas chaos nite. I had to search to find this recipe on-line cause I needed one that don't call for sour cream, which I don't have (did I mention I ain't goin to the store) and I figure I can just use orange extract to substitute for the lemon extract (which I don't have either) and just use bigger guacomoles to substitute for smaller ones.

But I don't want to throw out this huge guacomole.

Anybody got any suggestions?

 

[Guest]

I adore you, Lisa. I've missed you.

Take a small sharp knife, peel down another avocado (guac) layer.

Then mash.

Oh, and give the dogs separate bones so they don't fuck with each other.

 

[blackhaus7]

Just whipped up a guacamole dip earlier. Cut the avacados in half, around the pit. Scoop out the meat, leaving the rind. Mash. Use, mayo and salsa/taco sauce/picante sauce to taste. Works just fine. Don't let anyone see you make it, though. You want them to think it was difficult.

 

[Lisa Denton]

I adore you, Lisa. I've missed you.

Take a small sharp knife, peel down another avocado (guac) layer.

Then mash.

Oh, and give the dogs separate bones so they don't fuck with each other.

They have layers? Are you sure?

This is a texas avocado, they are just slimey mushy things, real mushy. Maybe I got them too ripe. i'm gonna throw it at my dog in a minute if he don't shut up and leave my sisters dog alone.

My sis thought I would take good care of her dog, she didn't know my dog would drive her dog, and me, nuts.

I can't give her dog a bone, she don't do nothing but sleep, and eat, hench the name Lil Miss Piggy.

She won't play with nothing, Scooter keeps throwing toys at her, wanting to share his favorite stuff, and she keeps trying to bite him.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Just whipped up a guacamole dip earlier. Cut the avacados in half, around the pit. Scoop out the meat, leaving the rind. Mash. Use, mayo and salsa/taco sauce/picante sauce to taste. Works just fine. Don't let anyone see you make it, though. You want them to think it was difficult.

That's right. The pebbly texture of the rind is easy to hold onto and not slimy at all. It's a bit late to tell you that now, of course.

 

[Lisa Denton]

Just whipped up a guacamole dip earlier. Cut the avacados in half, around the pit. Scoop out the meat, leaving the rind. Mash. Use, mayo and salsa/taco sauce/picante sauce to taste. Works just fine. Don't let anyone see you make it, though. You want them to think it was difficult.

Shit!!!

I knew I forgot something, I didn't have to peel the damn thing. And drop it in the trash.

I haven't made this stuff since I was a kid.

Oh well, I have two more, tomorrow I am gonna cut them in half and scoop them out, thanks for remindin me.

You would think the damn recipe would mention that wouldn't you?

Oh well, christmas is such fun.

 

[feeeriek]

it is cause the recipe calls for the little ones from california... those are too puny to
serve and make the guac in....

 

[Guest]

They have layers? Are you sure?

This is a texas avocado, they are just slimey mushy things, real mushy. Maybe I got them too ripe. i'm gonna throw it at my dog in a minute if he don't shut up and leave my sisters dog alone.

My sis thought I would take good care of her dog, she didn't know my dog would drive her dog, and me, nuts.

I can't give her dog a bone, she don't do nothing but sleep, and eat, hench the name Lil Miss Piggy.

She won't play with nothing, Scooter keeps throwing toys at her, wanting to share his favorite stuff, and she keeps trying to bite him.

Not layer like onion layer. Just cut off more of the slimy stuff.

Give her dog some Valium. Give your dog a bone.

And come sit on my lap.

 

[3113]

Does anybody know how to wash off guacomoles?

You call avacados guacomoles? Guacomle, to me, is the finished dip. And it was probably over ripe. Avacado, like a good mango, should give to the touch, but not be super soft.

Never heard of using mayo, but I'll try it next time. A lot of the Mexican restaurants I go to make guacomole at the table, mashing it up on a big stone bowl, squeezing in the lime, tossing in chopped onions, salt, etc. Unfortunately for me, they also like to add cilantro which I hate.

Hope it all came out okay.

 

[3113]

it is cause the recipe calls for the little ones from california... those are too puny to serve and make the guac in....

Now really, that's uncalled for! What did California ever do to you that you should insult its avacados? As a CA native, I can say that the state produces many different types of avacado, some very large indeed. I, myself, had an avacado tree in my backyard while I was growing up. The fruit was large and delicious.

 

[feeeriek]

Now really, that's uncalled for! What did California ever do to you that you should insult its avacados? As a CA native, I can say that the state produces many different types of avacado, some very large indeed. I, myself, had an avacado tree in my backyard while I was growing up. The fruit was large and delicious.

have nothing against it just those puny little avocados... oh and the fact that
is were parts of my family reside... not going to say if that is a good or bad thing...
as to the actual state the couple of times I visited the places I was I found beautiful