Bad...

[Joe Wordsworth]

Oh, boy, has this been a bad day.

There are times, and this is a truth, when I wish I could lose control a little--do what others I know do... get angry or panicked or cry a bunch, get reckless and really, really in touch with their frustration.

But I'm just not built like that, or if I was once I've certainly changed getting older. I sit and coldly look at what's going on around me, and look at the options good and bad, and decide what's the likeliest choice--like choosing which clothes I'll wear in the morning. I'm no more emotionally invested than that.

Its a bad thing, I think. I'm decisive. That's what I do. Who I am. Its surely killed off a few relationships (women, friends, business, etc.) over the years--my inability to show a lot of empathy.

Doesn't mean I don't feel things, I just don't really feel them first-hand. I kinda notice when I'm angry or notice when I'm sad--like realizing you're dreaming just as you wake up. And so any outpouring I could have had gets killed off before it even builds up steam.

I log the experience and move on.

Like today. A friend let me down big--big, big. Huge big. Put some business ventures at a critical risk big to the tune of fifty-thousand pounds big. And I should be mad, but I'm not. I'm not even disappointed, really--though I know I have to be. By the time I registered the fuck-up, I'd already chosen a couple Plan B's and ideologically moved on.

I feel like I'm robbing myself of the utterly selfish indulgeance of wallowing and I've done that my whole life.

Pffft.

 

[only_more_so]

I know the feeling. It's like that damn Rudyard Kipling poem, "IF", I remember reading in elementary school. On the face it is a wonderful sentiment, but at the same time it is strangely dehumanizing.

 

[English Lady]

I think I kinda know what you mean.

As people know or can probably guess, I don't panic, I don't often lash out in anger (it's happened one or two times in my whole life and it's always been when someone I love has been wronged) and I don't let myself wallow -though sometimes I do it for a little while bfore shaking myself to my senses.

Sometimes I just wish I could just let it all out in a flood. I wish I could panic that I could scream and shout and cry and panic and let someone else pick up all the pieces, let soemone else have the responsibility of fixing it all back together again. Then I realise I'm being a selfish bitch and get on with it.

I'm sure people wish they could be like you,love. I don't think it makes you any less emotional, you're certainly feeling those emotions even if you're not letting them control you it is probably something that makes you so good at business- being able to keep your cool and come up with plan B at short notice is a precious skill I'd imagine.

 

[Liar]

Like today. A friend let me down big--big, big. Huge big. Put some business ventures at a critical risk big to the tune of fifty-thousand pounds big. And I should be mad, but I'm not. I'm not even disappointed, really--though I know I have to be. By the time I registered the fuck-up, I'd already chosen a couple Plan B's and ideologically moved on.

I feel like I'm robbing myself of the utterly selfish indulgeance of wallowing and I've done that my whole life.

Sounds like a good thing to me to not do that over something as worldly as business. I do my fair bit of wallowing in misery and blowing off steam in angry fits, but I can't imagine myself going batshit over people failing me professionally. That kind of happens on a daily basis for me, although on small scales (mostly).

 

[past_perfect]

Well, professional detachment is good and in some instances a necessary psycho-hygienic survival technique.

Personal detachment is usually a result of life experience and applied knowledge, commonly known as wisdom, and as such a healthy result of personal growth, in any other case more often due to a serious psychological problem, having to do with specious self-images and self-fulfilling prophecies. You could even call that a harsh truth, although I wouldn't.

 

[Trinique_Fire]

I don't really associate with people who seem to be so completely detached from emotion that it makes them robots. There are people like that on this board and I avoid them like the plague.

It's great to detach yourself in certain situations, but all the time?

Yeah...this is just another one of those subjects that's going to send someone packing.

 

[English Lady]

I don't really associate with people who seem to be so completely detached from emotion that it makes them robots. There are people like that on this board and I avoid them like the plague.

It's great to detach yourself in certain situations, but all the time?

Yeah...this is just another one of those subjects that's going to send someone packing.

I think that it's a self preservation thing, keeping emotion and therefore others at ams length so the person can't get hurt(or maybe hurt others, even) They do certainly feel emotion, they just keep it all bottled up and don't act upon it.

It just takes a little time to uncover the emotional person inside and with some people you'll never get more than a glimpse but the glimpses are beautiful truth.

 

[impressive]

You can be decisive and still wallow. They're not mutually exclusive. I know this first hand.

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

You can be decisive and still wallow. They're not mutually exclusive. I know this first hand.

I don't think one can be so at the same time, though.