Bad Random Life Tips.

[mnbreastluver]

The best way to protect your identity is to have horrible credit.

 

[LovelyLadyLicker]

Whenever you're low on cash, just take out a loan.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you design low cut dresses sell them to the Amish. They buy them like hotcakes.

 

[Misshotndeep]

That girl he is always talking about really is just a friend. His eyes are only lighting up from the mirth of their last outing. There is no reason to think she is trying to steal him at all.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Remember on Christmas Eve to take a Mercedes out for a test drive and park it in your neighbors driveway with a giant ribbon on it.

 

[Shenanigans90]

He who cares the least gets the girl.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Snow blow the snow in your driveway into your neighbors so they get an extra workout

 

[stickygirl]

Let a flesh wound go septic before you see the doctor - they'll take you more seriously, give you antibiotics and you'll get that nasty discharge from your genitals cured at the same time, without embarrassment.

 

[Leigh81]

When you make a mistake, don't learn from it & just keep repeating it. Especially in relationships

 

[mnbreastluver]

If your phone is at 66% charged. No need for a charging cable. Just flip it upside down and it will be 99% charged.

 

[Mrtenant]

If you see a snake ball of anacondas, jump in there and break it up, that way none of them gets hurt.

 

[Shenanigans90]

She really means it when she tells you she doesn’t want anything for Christmas.

 

[mnbreastluver]

All the stores have a policy not many know about. If you pick up merchandise and run quick enough through the door you don’t have to pay for it.

 

[Shenanigans90]

When she tells you she wants to go out for dinner but can’t decide where, feed her a ham sandwich.

 

[JerseyJade]

When your man tells you he wants a blowjob, put a fan in front of his face and turn it on at high speed.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

When she tells you she wants to go out for dinner but can’t decide where, feed her a ham sandwich.

Here's an actual life hack I use a lot: (I know it's supposed to be bad advice, but this one is legit)

When you ask someone out for a meal, instead of asking them where they want to eat, ask them to guess where you're going to take them. Take notes with a smile on your face and book a table at the restaurant they named.

 

[Shenanigans90]

When your man tells you he wants a blowjob, put a fan in front of his face and turn it on at high speed.

Here's an actual life hack I use a lot: (I know it's supposed to be bad advice, but this one is legit)

When you ask someone out for a meal, instead of asking them where they want to eat, ask them to guess where you're going to take them. Take notes with a smile on your face and book a table at the restaurant they named.

This is great advise because we typically argue back and forth and grab something mediocre.

 

[Shenanigans90]

Unsolicited dick pics are the way to a Lit woman’s heart.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Unsolicited dick pics are the way to a Lit woman’s heart.

Your boss will determine your raise based on your dick pick game

 

[Shenanigans90]

Your boss will determine your raise based on your dick pick game

Did my work proposal lack girth or did I come up short?

 

[VoraciousValue]

Fucking on an electric fence is the charge of a lifetime.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Not a lot of people know this but those bouquets of flowers on the side of road are free for the taking.

 

[stickygirl]

You should explain to small children that Santa isn't real. Honesty is it's own reward

 

[mnbreastluver]

Use dead batteries in your smoke detector to stop false alarms.

 

[beachbaby179]

Re-gift any unwanted presents back to the original giver. After all, they liked it enough to buy it.