Bad Random Life Tips.

[HotBrand]

Cheating behind your partner's back is wrong.

Instead, tell your partner that you are going to sleep with someone else, and do it right in front of them.

They'll commend you for your honesty.

 

[HotBrand]

If you're fucking your partner so hard, and they cry out "mercy!", fuck them harder.

They're just being grateful in French.

 

[HotBrand]

Tabasco is good on everything.

Try it on your asshole.

 

[stickygirl]

Forget the inconvenience of vasectomies: a quick line of superglue will stop the swimmers and mean there's no mess to clean up as a bonus

 

[stickygirl]

Vampires hate garlic. Eat a ground-up bulb before your date and if they refuse the kiss you, go home happy - you had a lucky escape

 

[stickygirl]

A left hand thread can only be undone with you left hand - how much clearer does it need to be?

 

[Punkrockchick]

A left hand thread can only be undone with you left hand - how much clearer does it need to be?

Cold sore got you down? Press it against as many vaginas as you can. The feminine healing powers make it disappear instantly

 

[mnbreastluver]

When having sex, don't use your favorite scented candle. If anything bad happens between you and that person the smell will remind you that you poured candle wax on them.

 

[Punkrockchick]

Looking to add a bit of spice to the bedroom? Tabasco is an excellent personal lubricant

 

[mnbreastluver]

Appear to be caring and empathetic, if you see a woman in a bad mood, always ask if its her time of the month.

 

[mnbreastluver]

When life gives you lemons, stay in bed and masturbate to the thought of owning an apple farm. Then, after the lemons have gone bad, post on social media about how shitty it was that you were given useless lemons.

 

[jasonmason]

Invest your life savings in lottery tickets and make sure to buy all of them with the same numbers.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Bad driver? Slap a "Student Driver" sticker on your bumper - people will think you're just new at it and you can drive however you want.

 

[HotBrand]

MEN! DOES YOUR PENIS KEEP GETTING ERECT IN EMBARRASSING SITUATIONS?

Place two leeches on your fun trunk and worry no more!

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you want to secretly masturbate in public, just tuck your penis into your waistband and complain of belly aches, rubbing your stomach area every now and then. If you ejaculate or make sexy faces/noises, people will just think you have a really bad belly ache.

 

[stickygirl]

Show some genuine concern by asking your masturbating gf if she simply has thrush

 

[mnbreastluver]

Does someone who wronged you now want to sleep with you? just get an STD, if they succesfully seduce you you’ll infect them, which will serve as punishment for the bad thing they did.

 

[ydahecnot]

If someone asks you to commit your e-boning partners to an Excel sheet, do it! They will love the recognition

 

[Punkrockchick]

If someone asks you to commit your e-boning partners to an Excel sheet, do it! They will love the recognition

This is supposed to be bad life tips. That one is legit

 

[ydahecnot]

This is supposed to be bad life tips. That one is legit

That tip can get one, or multiple, people killed

 

[mnbreastluver]

Having a bad day? Wrestle a gorilla to take your mind off it.

 

[stickygirl]

First on scene to an amputation accident? Give the victim a paper cut to take their mind off the other injury(ies)

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you want to try autoerotic asphyxiation, wrap a large python around your neck to choke you. If it goes bad the snake will swallow you so you don't need to worry about being discovered in an embarrassing position by a family member or a loved one.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Frying food at home? Want to cool the oil down without waiting? Throw some ice cubes in that bad boy.

 

[HotBrand]

If you are intending to flash the public with your genitals, do it when the sun's out, and there's no cloud cover.

No one gets arrested when it's "decent exposure".