Bad Random Life Tips.

[stickygirl]

Dolphins have been known to have sex with humans, but make sure it's cold water in the bath.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Is gas too expensive? Just take your engine out so you no longer have to spend money on gas.

 

[stickygirl]

Disappointed with your solar array? Ask a panel beater to pay a visit.

 

[stickygirl]

If you get caught by the flash of a speed detector, go back and drive through another ten times and the operator will assume it was faulty.

 

[stickygirl]

Pedestrian signs in America are helpful and suggest what speed you should cross.

 

[itismeinnz]

In the absence of a Fleshlight, an electric coffee grinder provides quite a good substitute.

 

[MsNatalie99]

Tired of buying condoms? Just dip your wick in some hot wax, and you'll have a reusable profalactic

 

[MsNatalie99]

Best costume idea; Tar and feather yourself to play a convincing chicken. For better effect you can pack your colon with eggs and lay them for curious friends

 

[MsNatalie99]

Need a pick me up? Keep a fork on you, and stick it in random outlets when you get sleepy

 

[itismeinnz]

One of the best ways to attract a woman's attention in a bar is to push out a very loud fart while walking past them.

 

[MsNatalie99]

If you meet a girl and you think she's pretty, always remember to squeeze her tit. Women appreciate a free mamory inspection

 

[mnbreastluver]

A hornets nest feels pretty good to fuck with a nice vibration too.

 

[HeavyBalls]

A classic:

Always fry bacon naked.

 

[MsNatalie99]

out of lotion? Stroke with Icy Hot

 

[solardays]

Watermelons make great fuck toys

 

[stickygirl]

Suffering with the diarrhoea? Arrowroot is a natural cure. Mix a few teaspoons with water and use two fingers to insert

 

[mnbreastluver]

Donating a kidney is one way to lose weight

 

[MsNatalie99]

Kitchen fire? Dump some brandy on that bitch to put it out

 

[MsNatalie99]

Add a dick pic to all of your work emails to let your boss know that you are a go getter

 

[MsNatalie99]

always offer pot at a job interview. The THC will lighten the interviewer mood.

 

[stickygirl]

If you make a joke to tease someone and they don't get it, just keep laughing till they do

 

[MsNatalie99]

If you make a joke to tease someone and they don't get it, just keep laughing till they do

love it, I do that as a nervous reaction

 

[MsNatalie99]

use your penis to gauge stove temp. It's sensitive skin will give you a better idea of temperature than the thermometer

 

[mnbreastluver]

Most people love surprises. Use public and communal restrooms with the door unlocked to make someone’s day!

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you want to avoid having a baby, get pregnant first as to avoid accidental insemination.