Bad Random Life Tips.

[stickygirl]

Save energy costs by putting an egg in with your hot wash

 

[mnbreastluver]

Always be yourself when talking to a woman so dress up as Batman.

 

[stickygirl]

Remember birds need to drink even on frosty morning so add salt or antifreeze to the bird bath.

 

[NoUseForAnyName]

Do not backpedal on an exercise bike, you'll gain weight.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Women love unsolicited Dick pictures so send more.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Get you marriage advice from someone that’s been married 6 times.

 

[stickygirl]

In these icy conditions scatter broken glass into your path to provide extra grip for your shoes

 

[mnbreastluver]

Don’t worry baking soda and baking powder are the same thing.

 

[stickygirl]

If you trouble getting out of bed in the morning, eat self-raising flour

 

[mnbreastluver]

Use salt to scrub out dirt in a cut.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Always end a job interview with a long, vulgar joke.

 

[mnbreastluver]

For landlords: If a tenant complains that they saw a mouse reassure them that the mouse will be removed when the rats and snakes eat it.

 

[VoraciousValue]

On a first date, ask them if they'll fuck you that night. Weeds out the undesirables and saves time.

Refuse to pay taxes on ethical grounds. That'll show YOU, Government!

That actually is sort of a thing. It's called the Sovereign Citizen movement. They have some fucked up interpretations of constitutional and English common law that say the sheriff is the most powerful elected official, national governments cannot levy taxes, etc.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If your boy friend is going to break up with you get pregnant.

 

[VoraciousValue]

Setting off a tactical nuke inside your ass may get you that long cherished spot in the circus. Problem is, that trick may only work once.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you’re doing electrical work without a multimeter, and need to find the Hot wire, just use a thermometer.

 

[stickygirl]

If you're hung over and gonna be late for work, drink a whole bottle of spirits, because a call from intensive care is more credible than a lame excuse

 

[mnbreastluver]

For Valentine’s Day get your Sweet Heart some chocolate covered spiders. She’ll love you for it.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Get free roses at your local cemetery for your sweet heart for Valentine’s. days.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Valentine's Day is just a Hallmark Holiday, you're free to ignore it if you want.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Save the empty heart shaped box of chocolates You can claim they must have missed filling it next year.

 

[VoraciousValue]

Go to the store today, sweep all the Valentine's candy off the shelves, and yell:

"NOTHING BUT EARTHLING LIES!!"

 

[mickyp123]

Send your valentine a card with a cheque for £1k with the wrong name inside

 

[mnbreastluver]

Buy a dozen Valentine roses today half price for next year.

 

[stickygirl]

If you're dog owner and lose your dog whistle, catch a bat and use that.

(not recommended in China)