Bad Random Life Tips.

[tmmmbrrr]

She'll/he'll never find out. Just go ahead and do it.

 

[VoraciousValue]

Go ahead and snatch up that property you're getting such a bargain on. The fact that it sits next to a lead mine is an added bonus.

 

[stickygirl]

Deep-throating is a matter of practice - poke a toothbrush past your tonsils and you'll soon get the hang of it.

 

[VoraciousValue]

The Surgeon General is full of shit. Cigarettes help calm nerves, make you look cool, helps clear up acne, and can act as an aphrodisiac if you smoke more than two packs a day.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you want to hide your browsing history from someone, use internet explorer. No one will bother checking that.

 

[stickygirl]

Wear tinfoil in your panties to get a free grope at airport security

 

[mnbreastluver]

Sell one of your kidneys to get drunk on half the alcohol it used to take.

 

[VoraciousValue]

With states reopening from COVID, now would be a great time to take that Caribbean cruise you've always wanted.

 

[CurvyAngel_2]

It's a fantastic idea to have all white bedding when your dog loves to dig and roll around in the dirt.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Make your ringtone something soothing so it relaxes you and cancels out the stress when debt collectors call and you let it go to voicemail.

 

[stickygirl]

Current retail laws give you 14 days to change your mind: 26 new cars a year - what could be better?

 

[VoraciousValue]

Forget the PPE they make you wear on the job at the glass factory. That's just Big Daddy Government telling you how to do your job!

 

[sally_sparrow]

Need to dispose of something, such as garbage or something illegal? Put it in a box, tape it up, and put it on your doorstep. A package thief will take it away for you.

 

[sally_sparrow]

Keep your windows nice and clean by leaving them down when going through puddles.

 

[mnbreastluver]

A good way to know whether your condom is intact during sex is to wear two with chilli powder in between. If the outer one breaks she will know and if the inner one breaks, you will know.

 

[AllSass1]

Play with fire.

 

[99Freedom]

Play with fire.

Lol. Make questionable decisions

 

[VoraciousValue]

Ask Queen Elizabeth for a rimjob. She seems nice enough.

 

[sally_sparrow]

Ice cream too frozen to scoop? Microwave your spoon for 30 seconds.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Cover your hands in dog crap to avoid touching your face when you are outside.

 

[sally_sparrow]

Want to say something mean to someone without hurting their feelings? Just say “no offense” before, they can’t get offended!

 

[99Freedom]

Want to say something mean to someone without hurting their feelings? Just say “no offense” before, they can’t get offended!

Or “Bless your heart” after.

 

[sally_sparrow]

Or “Bless your heart” after.

Followed by, "I'll pray for you".

 

[99Freedom]

Followed by, "I'll pray for you".

Lol. Ouch.

 

[mnbreastluver]

In a job interview, always slide in the fact that you have a drug addiction; employers will be reassured that you need a contant amount of money and will more likely do everything to keep your job.